Midsummer evening

Midsummer evening

Saturday, 5 May 2007

Developing 13 (ii)

A late one from Kaunas in Lithuania. It's been a long day and I'm feeling a bit glum. It started well with an early-ish start to Liverpool and meeting the gang at Albert Docks for lunch before going to the airport. Albert Docks and Liverpool in particular are great - the regeneration has been amazing and it was a gorgeous sunny day. I'm really pleased we got a chance to have a look around. Will definitely be back for a closer look.

It was fun being with the crowd, a real laugh-a-minute. Trouble is, the flight is 3 hours and the journey dragged after the early start - a good 11 hours from home to the hotel. It's not too bad travelling when it's just me and D but, in a big gang, I get very tired. I think I must be a bit of an independent soul as I find groups quite trying, even though I like all the individuals involved. D is much more nto groups and tolerant of peoples' foibles.

Also, when they're all drinking (only in moderation during the journey but with more dedication once we arrived), it's harder to motivate yourself to have a good time when you're stone cold sober.

So, the upshot is that I found the meal quite hard. I was hungry and the waiter served me last so by the time I had sorted out my soup I was thoroughly ratty but trying not to let it show which is initslef wearing. D noticed though and in trying to jolly me up sort of wound me up instead. I know he wasn't meaning to but it is hard to be fair and even tempered when you just want to be able to eat a nice meal and have a couple of drinks.

Hey ho. It is a lot harder to do this travelling thing with a big gang than with just me and D! France was a breeze compared to this. I'm hoping that the early start and the long day travelling set me back today and that tomorrow, with a good night's rest, I'll be able to chill out a bit more and not get ratty/moody.

I'll tell you how bad it was this evening - there were 2 chocolates in the room and when D left me to have a quick shower while he went downstairs to the restaurant to order, I opened one and ate a miniscule sliver of it (prob about 2mm - no exaggeration). I stopped myself nd re-wrapped it and went downstairs for supper. But when I came back up to the room, D was going out for a couple of beers with the boys and I wasn't - I knew the chocs had to go so put them in his pocket and told him to either eat them or throw them! I'm pleased with myself for doing that but it shows how hard it is for me here. Normally a couple of wrapped chocs wouldn't have troubled me like that!

Anyway, it's helping to vent all the frustrations of the evening out rather than saving it up to take out on D who hasn't done anything to deserve it!! I'm already feeling much stronger. So what if I have a tricky evening when I'm probably overtired?! It's not going to kill meis it? It won';t be forever and a good night's sleep will sort it.

Thanks readers for letting me get that off my chest. Blogging realy does help sometimes. As I typed I thought about what you lot would say and the warmth and sensible advice seeped into me even before you've said it. I know we're all in this together and it really makes me feel a lot less sorry for myself. So, I hope you're all having a lovely weekend and I'm sure I will too after this little blip.

Night night.

2 comments:

Aimeerebecca said...

You're doing so well lesley it must be really hard being out with groups of people and they're all eating stuff in front of you. I am still avoiding all situations like that as much as possible as i'm worried my will power will crumble. Well done for staying strong xxxx

Cath said...

I can so understand how difficult it is being away in a group, there are so many things that can bother you at the best of times when you're spending a lot of time in a group but if you're not eating properly too then that just adds to it.

I can understand you not wanting to take it out on D - too often it's our partners that suffer when we're stressed or under some kind of pressure .... but then that's part and parcel of being a couple really - we get it when they're not feeling at their best.

You're a bloody star for getting rid of those chocolates - it would have been so easy to just eat them but hey you're stronger than that. If you choose to eat a choc when you're away as part of a level headed choice then that's all good and well as that's completely different - you can then accept you've done that and not be racked with guilt which you would have had if you'd have ate just due to feeling low and tired.

Hope you got a good nights sleep and that you enjoy the rest of your trip.

Cath
x

ps anytime you're in Liverpool give me a shout, would be great to meet up. Isn't it just the best airport - I love flying from there.