Thursday, 29 March 2007

Day 77 -24 Halfway there!!!

I'm so pleased! I had idly thought today that if I lost 6lbs tonight I would be exactly halfway to my target. I then immediately told myself not to get my hopes up as 6lbs is a lot to lose at this stage and my home scales aren't showing a great loss this week etc etc Anyway, as you can see, I lost the 6lbs and have now lost exactly 4 and a half stone which is halfway to my target!
I'm dead chuffed and it's just the boost I need heading into a weekend away. There's no way I'm going to be tempted to cheat now when I'm doing so well and am teetering on the the summit of the hill peering down at the downhill stretch now.... (Not that I think I would have cheated anyway as I have been pretty good apart from a couple of mouthfuls here and there...)
I must be knackered though as I picked up a pair of trousers and a top which people bring in when they've grown out of them for other people and bought all my week's foodpacks, some water flavouring and savoury drinks and even a magazine - then left the lot behind when I walked out! Grrr Luckily I have a spare week's foodpacks which I bought ages ago in case I couldn't make it to class due to bad weather (you have to think ahead round these parts!!). So, I'm ok for the weekend and can pick the rest of the stuff up on Tuesday night. Engage brain....
I'm too tired to type much tonight and need a clear head for packing or I'll end up with all the wrong stuff but hope you all have a great weekend and I'll be back in a few days!! I'm doing a little happy dance now and hope you all have good results too. Keep it up!

Wednesday, 28 March 2007

Day 76 -25

What a lovely day. I was up early to play golf but the mist and dew was so thick we were late getting out onto the course. Luckily only 20 minutes or so delayed or we wouldn't have been able to play. Once we got out the mist burned up and it was a gorgeous day - fresh, sunny, hazy and really pretty. I played like an absolute idiot but then I haven't played since before Christmas,

And that fact takes me onto my next point! Because I haven't played for so long, particularly since before I lost the 4 stone, it was really obvious how much easier it was to get round the course now that I'm slimmer. It was great . I was practically jogging up the hills and I wasn't knackered by the end of the 18 holes. Normally, I feel really stiff when I finish but today, straight home and straight to work, feeling fine.

It's good to see a new benefit of this diet and I think I'll need all the help I can get over the coming weekend in France so that set me off on a new list:- "Little things which are better now that I've lost 4 stone":

  • My wedding ring, engagement ring and watch now fit so I wear them all the time. I aways used to wear my wedding ring but even that was getting tight!
  • I have, for some reason, stopped biting my nails at the same time as I started the diet. Think it might be something to do with not snacking and breaking my oral fixation. As a result of having nice nails I now look after them and keep them painted so suddenly have nice hands!!
  • I can shop in M&S and Next. I even managed to buy an evening dress and a wedding outfit without trouble and in a couple of lunchbreaks.
  • Soon, I'm going to have an excuse to buy some seriously brilliant clothes. It's going to be great.
  • I've started selling stuff on ebay so now my house has a bit of spare wardrobe space and my bank balance has a few extra quid in it.
  • I can run nearly 6 miles without stopping, with hills!
  • I have loads more energy and am getting loads of chores done so my house is much nicer and my life is better run so I have more time to see my friends.

Thats all I can think of for now but it's pretty good for the time being!

Anyway, after work we went for a quick walk around the block and I took the snap above as it was so ethereal looking.

Have a good evening everyone.

Tuesday, 27 March 2007

Day 75 -26

A much better day today and thanks for your great comments - very wise chicks we have here!

D came in from the pub last night and said that it was up to me what we did tonight - stay in, go out, do something different. Now, for a bloke who goes to the pub every evening this is a major departure. Obviously, giving me no notice whatsoever, it wasn't likely that I would find a great deal on but it's a start!

We didn't fancy any of the films on, well, I would have gone but D has strong views about films so I was a bit disappointed about that. But it ended up really nicely as we went for a good long walk from home to a neighbouring village in the late evening sunshine and then had a quiet couple of drinks in Hope which was probably better than haring into town to watch a film for the sake of it. Now I know though, I'm going to make sure we do something other than the pub most weeks and keep an eye out for films, theatre, comedy etc etc .

It was a busy day at work so, to be honest, an early evening was just what I was after.

I had my blood pressure check up this evening too - it's still high but we're leaving it for another month before taking action. The doctor was really impressed by my weightloss though and quizzed me extensively about the diet. He was so genuine about it I was quite touched. I think he's contemplating recommending the diet in other cases depending on how I keep the weight off! So I could be a test case in that surgery and hopefully other women will get to hear about this great life changing thing we're doing.

Anyway, that's it for now - want an early night as I'm playing golf tomorrow and need to get up early to get all my stuff ready. First game of the year as the weather has been so bad. Wonder if I'll remember how to play!?

Night night...

Monday, 26 March 2007

Day 74 -27

I had a dose of reality last night. I suppose I've been in cloud cuckoo land where D is just wildly happy about my weight loss and everything is wonderful. Well, we had a row (just an every day one - nothing too exciting) and it was just the same as the pre-diet rows! well, sort of the same! At least now I argue my corner and don't just back down in tears and feel inadequate as I used to.

With hindsight I can see the truth in what he was saying - that he needs some attention too, in short! I have been spending a lot of time on the computer or running and have forgotten a few things to do with him which he says is me neglecting him. But - this is my time to prioritise me and although I'll try and be a little more attentive to him (I have definitely been pretty distant) I must keep going with these changes as I'm just so happy with the results and, if he's honest, so is he.

As I've mentioned before he's very black and white so things are never sorted out on the night of a fight - but usually he mulls over what I say and we reach a happy medium after a couple of days. We're not, not talking or anything though.

It just rocked me back a bit as I have been so focussed and positive and now have to sit back and look at things again. Hard and a bit of a pain - wish I could just shake him and say "what more do you want of me??!" But, although it might be satisfying, that wouldn't get us anywhere.

So! Busy day not helped by a very short night's sleep - another charming little habit of D's is that he'll only pick a fight at midnight and then I can't get to sleep 'til the middle of the night!

I went for a good long run tonight in the lovely light evening and it felt so strong and smooth. Very uplifting. I really enjoyed it. After that I went to the pub but didn't stay long as no sparkling water - there really is only so long you can drink tap water and talk with a load of blokes about their stuff - not fascinating! Now about to go to bed and will hopefully wake up full of the joys and with a chirpy husband again.

I'm not sad because I have to accept that, just as my weight wasn't the sole cause of every row before (despite what D used to say), losing weight won't solve every problem now. I've just had a good thought though - I must have changed - I realise that it didn't even occur to me to turn to food and I still went for my run!!

Truly, every cloud does have a silver lining.

Sorry to burden you with glum tales - I'm not actually that down in the dumps but wanted to make sense of it.

Hope you're all having a good week and being good dieters - normal service will be resumed shortly!

Sunday, 25 March 2007

Day 73 -28 Here comes the sun!

Dolly Parton was fab last night! I'm not a big Country fan or anything although do like all sorts of music and, with an Irish husband, have to have a certain amount of tolerance for it! I was keen to see her though as she's such a phenomenon! She didn't disappoint. She was such a larger than life character it almost felt as though she wasn't real even though I could see her tiny slim little form on stage in front of me - a most surreal expreience. Of all the live acts I've seen she was the most human and most impressive - even though I wouldn't say her music is my favourite. Her voice is amazing though - really powerful yet pure and the range from full bodied stuff to barely whispering was brilliant.

Anyway we had a good night but I had to drag D home when I crashed at midnight (actually 1am due to the clocks going forward). Why is it that men always want that last pint?? Why can't they see that the evening is over and it would bebetter to end it standing?! Still, it was easier to leave than usual so maybe the training is working!

I've had a really busy day today. Was up early to go for a run with Shelley and actually got there but she cancelled so I gratefully seized on the excuse and came home to catch up with ebay and chores before french. To be honest, after my mega run yesterday I wasn't really looking forward to it and was only going because I'd made an arrangment. Phew!

Then, off to my French tuition. Definitely making progress which is good as we're off to Limoges for the weekend next week! I hope I can manage to book hotel rooms and meals etc. The most useful phrase I've learned so far is " je suis en regime" meaning (you've guessed it) "I'm on a diet"!

Back from french and straight out to meet my friend Jenny and her kids. It was a lovely afternoon and we went for a walk along a stream in Hayfield. Very pretty and relaxed. The kids love Shelagh and she is getting better at paying attention to them. Having not been brought up with kids she is a bit nervous of them (doesn't help that our friends' child (who was old enough to know better) used to bash her across the nose and then they'd wonder why Shelagh growled at her)! Nightmare. Anyway, these kids are great with her and today they really seemed to be playing well together chasing sticks and paddling in the stream in their wellies- idyllic stuff.

Now I'm home, checking on the blogs and running a bath for when D's supper of gammon, egg and chips is ready!! Don't want to have to witness or smell that so the vanilla flavour candles will be out in force!

It's been a good weekend: targets for next week?

Apply for a remortgage so we can get cracking on the loft conversion (all part of the moving to France plan). I have my blood presure check up so hopefully I will be able to look into restarting personal training. The jogging is great but I want to tone up as well. Want to get my arms and bum in good shape!

Then - we're off to La Belle France for the weekend - weird thinking that I won't be able to have any of the normal food goodies I associate with France but it should be good anyway and great to spend time with D away from chores etc.

Have a good 'un and keep on keeping on!!

Saturday, 24 March 2007

Day 72 -29

My normally reliable personal photographer has not done so well today - the blurry one of me and Shelagh is the best of a bad bunch would you believe! Oh well, I'll crack him into shape eventually!

We've been really busy today - well, I have and D had a lie in after over indulging somewhat last night! I was out jogging with my friend Kate by 9am! We did a circuit round the railway track and over the dam wall and added an extra loop that I have been avoiding! She is a pretty fast runner so kept running aabck to get me but I also upped my speed so that, combined with the extra loop, meant I was knackered by the time we finished! Kate was impressed though and is confident that it won't be long before I'm up to a good speed and running 10km runs and even half marathons! I'm not sure I share her optimism but I think it's important to keep stretching yourself and have new goals to aim for.

After that I had a burst of energy so spent the rest of the day cleaning, sorting, selling on ebay and doing a myriad of chores. The house is so much nicer now - I feel that warm glow you get from being a domestic goddess (doesn't happen to me very often!). D roused himself and headed out to the garden to chop logs so we were both very industrious!

A quick walk under leaden skies and now we're getting ready to go to see Dolly Parton in concert. We're going with a couple who are much older than ourselves (in their mid 60's) but a good laugh nonetheless. I have no idea what to wear to a DP concert - will avoid rhinestone, denim and any form of western paraphernalia I think. Which is a good thing as my wardrobe is not overburdened with that stuff!!

Hope you're all having a great weekend. Keep it up and drink that water!

Friday, 23 March 2007

Day 71 -30

We were talking a lot in yesterday's class about what is going to happen when we get to the end of Foundation. I will go into Development as I will still have loads to lose but I'm pleased to see that there'll be quite a few of us carrying on on the same day. Also, it'a much more convenient time, 5.30pm on Wednesdays so I'll be able to go straight from work rather than having to go home first. Save on the driving and mean that I can go jogging with the girls on Thursday nights as well!

What else did we talk about? It was a strange class - I got the feeling that the Counsellor wasn't that bothered at first as she was a bit offhand. It got better though and we did an exercise where we each had to choose 10 song titles which expressed our feelings at the moment. Mine were mostly either upbeat - "I'm in the mood for dancing"; determined - "Working in a chain gang"; ironic - "Fat bottomed girls they make the rocking world go round"; or pensive - "I can see clearly now the rain has gone".

With hindsight it was quite an interesting exersize. She wanted to demonstrate how mood affects us and how relatively easy it is to change your mood. So, if you're in a grumpy mood and you're more likely to comfort eat or your resistance to temptation is lower how you should recognise this and develope strategies to cheer up - listen to happy music, exercise, don't dwell on stress etc. Good ideas and all part of the armoury of weapons against the demon food which we will need in the future.

Actually my last song - "I can see clearly" has been going through my mind all day and really sums up how I feel. It's such a lovely mellow tune and gorgeous lyrics. It's going to be my theme song I think.

The only trouble with this diet is how all-consuming it is. I feel that my work has suffered today anyway. Some days I really get down to work but others I want to just luxuriate in the changes that are happening and today was definitely one of the latter. I'll have to knuckle down next week to catch up... Oh well, I think we all need time off sometime and I'm looking forward to a quiet night and a day at home tomorrow - it feels as though I haven't had either of those things for a long time.

I hope you're all doing well - especially the newbies, Amythist and Karen in their first week - takes me back! Be kind to yourselves and have a lovely weekend.

Thursday, 22 March 2007

Day 70 -31 Week 10 weigh in

I'm making good progress and not far off half way!! As you can see I have lost another 5 lbs and have now lost a total of 4 stone and 1lb. I'm really chuffed but absolutely knackered today so this won't be a long post.

We all had good weight losses in our group. In fact the other woman who has been losing as fast as me and who was on the same total as me before the weigh in lost a massive 8lbs tonight!! I'm not jealous though, just really pleased for her. She's a really nice woman, a primary school headmistress in a bad area, and really deserves the good week. She looked so happy when she came out from being weighed. Go Anne!

I've been in a course up in Leeds all day so had to set off at crack of dawn to get there on time and only made it home 5 minutes before I had to turn round and leave for my weigh in. I have been driving for hours today and concentrating on compulsory purchase stuff for the rest of the time. My brain is frazzled!

Didn't help that I walked into the house this evening and had D in my face pissed off with me 'cos I had forgotten to turn my phone back on after the course and he hadn't been able to call me!! Charming. Was absolutely enraged that he could be so selfish over such a tiny mistake so left the house in a huff and felt really low as I drove to Penistone. I'd cheered up when I got there and to be fair to him he texted pretty promptly and apologised. It was so childish though an I'm tired so wasn't in the mood. Anyway, he's sorry and it's over now but I could do without such petty crap from him out of the blue! It's been so good for so long that this little jolt was upsetting.

Rant over. Back to happier thoughts. I'm chuffed to bits and want to thank everyone who sent me good wishes for the weigh in - it's so nice to feel all that goodwill winging through the wires.

I'm going to check on everyone elses' blogs now then get to bed and post longer tomorrow.

Night night!

Day 69 -32

It's my weigh in later today but I didn't manage to post yesterday so I thought I'd fit a quick update it. Had a mega busy day at work with meetings and rush jobs so didn't have time to worry about food. Well, apart from the 20 minutes when we broke out from a meeting to have lunch. I hadn't brought my soup as I didn't realise the lunch was going over much so I had to watch 12 blokes tucking into sandwiches and little fried things (satays, samosas, mini pizzas etc etc) followed by cakes and biscuits - yes, that was a greeeeaat experience!!

Still, I wasn't tempted to venture anyway near the table - in fact the only items which called to me were the little chicken satays. I didn't touch though and stuck to my black coffee!

Got home and went out for a quick run. It was getting dark so didn't do the full circuit but still managed 45 minutes and about 3.5 miles. The dog is not a jogger - don't think I'l take her again unless we're all offroad and she can be off the lead or she hasn't had any exercise that day. She made her displeasure evident by just subtly tugging on the lead and hanging back whereas normally she'd be forging ahead if I don't make her walk to heel. Little minx!

Quick shower and change and off to the pub to meet D and some mates. Had a proper laugh with the lads and then home for my last pack - chicken soup which I made up into a savoury muffin type thing from the recipe list Claire Silverton sent me. Was delicious - sort of like a chicken dumpling with crispy edges. Definitely my favourite recipe so far. Less fiddly than the crisps too.

Anyway, off to a course all day on Compulsory Purchase procedures - mmmmm - that'll be exciting! Must ressit all the goodies there too - no rest for the wicked eh?

Have a good day all!

Tuesday, 20 March 2007

Day 68 -33

After I posted last night I went out for a run with Kate's Kurvy Krew as previously mentioned. Actually, as it was arctic, I told Kate not to wait for me on the Rec but said I would time it to be at the rendevous point at the right time and if they weren't there, would run on and they could catch me up. Well, I did that but they never caught me up! Either I was too early or I run too fast!!

It felt really smooth going and, apart from the big hill in the middle, wasn't too knackering. Did it in just over an hour and only got caught in the snow right at the end. I met a guy I know from the village running in the opposite direction and said "Hi Ray" which he seemed to ignore and just grunted. I was a bit miffed as we used to drink in the same pub so I would have thought he'd be a bit friendlier. It was only on the way back in when I met him again that he stopped and said that he hadn't recognised me the first time round and commented on my weight loss. I realised I haven't seen him since before Christmas and I don't suppose he associated my pre-LL shape with jogging!! That was a nice fillip!

It seems that the weight loss 'shows' in fits and starts. I haven't had many comments for a little while but today loads of people have been stopping me in the corridors and asking me about the diet in the kitchen. And these are generally people that I don't really know, sometimes not even their names. It is such a boost. It reminded me of the LL class about the importance of handing out 'warm fuzzies' - makes a lot of sense. I'm reminding myself to say the nice things that occur to me from time to time as I now know how good it is to be on the receiving end.

Anyway, had a good day at work and a freezing walk round town doing chores. Then when I got home, D said he hadn't been for a walk (weather my ass - too bloody lazy!) so I dragged him and a happy little dog out for a quick trot round the fields. I wish I'd taken my camera as the low sun was gorgeous landing on the flecks of snow and cold looking sheep.

One of the chores was buying some greaseproof paper so I can try these crisps that everyone's going on about. Looking forward to it actually although I'm going to put it off 'til later as have already had 3 packs today.

Anyway that's all for now. Have a good evening everyone and keep away from that fridge! Not that we would - we're all too virtuous for that!

Monday, 19 March 2007

Day 67 -34

It was a gorgeous morning although has just turned dramatically nasty in the last hour an hour or so. I have been working from home - yay! So was up v early in order to get the bulk of the work done then dragged D out of his scratcher and up a hill. Glorious sunshine and the remnants of the snow. What I hadn't accounted for was the artic wind! It must be pretty sheltered at home but when we got up there it was freezing. I has only put a chunky fleece on too so felt every gust. D more sensible as ever in several layers!

Anyway, it certainly blew some cobwebs away and I've been back at my desk hard at it ever since.

I've been going over my thoughts about this diet. Prompted by another blogger, Kittycat, who was feeling very down and was thinking of giving up after 10 or so days. My reaction was so adamant that she shouldn't and I think I went a bit overboard tyring to persuade her to stick with it - hope she's alright!!- so I tried to analyse why. Ultimately, I think it comes down to some sort of proselytising zeal arising out of the great results we're seeing. This is is by far and away the best diet I have ever attempted and I just want everyone who needs it to benefit.

I think back to that sinking feeling that I would never be slim and would never be able to suceed at a diet. I was even thinking about surgery for Christ's sake! I wish I'd found it years ago, although there is probably some sort of Zen argument that you find the tools you need when you need them and when you are able to use them - type of thing.... I'm sure, though, if I had heard of it years ago, it would have chimed with me in just the way it did before Christmas when I met up with the woman who inspired me to start LL. And then I might have been spared the last few years of failed diets and resigned growth!!

Hey ho - no regrets - I'm here now and everything that has happened will have made me stronger.

The other thing I was thinking about is the pace of loss. I had been doing the mental calculations of weight loss averages and how much I will have lost by such and such a time etc etc. I'm sure everyone has been doing it too - admit it! But then another post by Kathy (Hippoellie) made me stop and have a think about that too. I realise that since I had my bad(ish) week and and only lost 2lbs and emerged unscathed I have become totally relaxed about when this is going to end. Really, in Kathy's words "the diet is what it is" so, if I stick to it, do as much exercise as I can, enjoy life and drink my water then I'll lose the weight. It's as simple as that. I feel very liberated by that thought - stop worying about when and just try to enjoy the ride as much as possible.

So, on that very introverted note I'll say goodbye for the day and hope you're all doing alright. Keep it up!

Sunday, 18 March 2007

Day 66 -35

What a strange day weather wise?! Talk about four seasons in one day - more like four seasons in half an hour! We've had glorious blue skies with sunshine, rain, hail, snow black storm clouds and then back to sunshine again constantly throughout the day.
I was up early to do my french homework! Funny, when I was a kid I assumed that grown ups would automatically do everything on time. Now I'm here (in body if not quite in spirit) I realise that homework is still homework and therefore must be left until the last minute! It's the law or something...
Anyway, just about got it done and raced off to my class. I really feel like I'm making progress now and words and sentences are coming to me with a little bit of fluency. I can hold a basic conversation about things like how much I like pigs and Hells Angels (don't ask...). It's a start and it gives me confidence that I would pick up the language proper pretty quickly were we to move over there. Whether D will is another question!!
Back from the class, lunch, fire lighted and a session on the computer checking out all the fab diet blogs and posting my own. It really does keep me motivated and, more to the point, occupied away from food. Boredom can be such a killer to combat.
Then, out for a middling length walk dodging the hail showers. It was pretty cold but we wrapped up well and managed to keep upright in the mud (no easy feat). We nearly got our feet wet at the weir and stepping stones in the photos but it wasn't impassable so we didn't have to walk the (very) long way round.
I'm feeling somewhat fond of D today so will suggest that I cook him supper before I get in a lovely bubbly bath. I know he'd do it himself but he really doesn't enjoy cooking so every now and then I don't mind.
Have a great week everyone. Remember - we're not doing this just to make things a little better - we're going for the whole hog (if you'll excuse the phrase) - to be actually, objectively slim, fit and healthy and then to stay that way!! We can do it!

Day 65 -36 St Patrick's Day

Hi there and a belated Happy St Patrick's day to you all. I'm not Irish but I suppose after being married to an Irishman for nearly 13 years it tends to rub off - mind you, I will be wishing you all a Happy St George's Day on 23 April too!!
I thought I had better prove that I do actually do all the running I talk about on the blog! I met up with Shelley at 10 yesterday (Saturday) and we set off up a massive hill! Nightmare - still, we got to the top then hit the fields and from then on had a lovely run. It was great being off the roads so Shelagh could flit betwen us and smell the smells in her doggie way. It's also good seeing new views of the Valley I live in although hopefully one day they won't all have my friend's backside in them (the views that is!). As you can see, she is a bit of a leggy girl so I don't keep up with her but I don't lag too far behind. On the upside I have way more willpower than Shelley so it is me who makes us get out there in the first place!
Anyway, the last photo is of me is running up Shelley's drive and I was well and truly knackered by then after about 4 very hilly and muddy miles!
But, no rest for the wicked (I wish - I'm far too virtuous these days..sigh..). Back home, shower, change and off to the footie. Another good session with Jimbo in the pub beforehand - watching him eat steak sandwich and chips (my traditional pre-match meal) and hashing over his disastrous love life. God knows what is wrong with him: a good looking, funny, personable, wealthy professional guy aged 39 with no ties who just can't seem to find a nice girl to settle down with?? What is going on with the single women out there?
Anyway, Sheffield Wednesday were comprehensively robbed of 3 points by a terrible refereeing display in the last 15 mintues. Made my blood boil but have managed to simmer down now. I know it's only a game etc etc but when you see blatent incompetence it just gets you down... Ended in a 2-2 draw with Wolves scoring the undeserved equaliser in the last couple of minutes....grrrr
Then, straight onto a pub in town to watch the rugby with D and our mates. D somewhat down due to Ireland being pipped at the post for the 6 Nations by France but reasonably philosophical. He's not as into sport as I am so consequently far better adjusted!
After that, on to an Irish pub for dancing and Guinness, or water in my case. It was rubbish and packed so we found another, slightly grotty Irish Centre which was totally authentic and had a fine time - or good craic as they would say...
The band was pants, the dance floor soaked with beer and the clientele a bit on the scary side but it was really good fun and for the second Saturday in a row I danced like a mad thing. D couldn't keep his hands off me which is quite unusual. He's not the most demonstrative of men but was dancing and holding my hand and putting his arm around me- got a little claustrophobic to be honest but I suppose he'll settle down - lol!
It is a bit difficult going to these things knowing you're going to stay stone cold sober and I do find it harder to be really lively without a drink but you can still have a really good time so not the end of the world. Actually I can be lively but need the odd break, whereas the booze used to help me power through - I also notice the pain in my feet more than I used to!! The good thing about not drinking is undoubtedly the waking up without a hangover and being able to drive home and not queue for an exorbitant taxi.
It is a bit odd for me though - I have spent ages wanting unconditional affection from D and am now getting the affection in spades, BUT only once I've lost the weight. I can see it from his point of view to a point and I know he always loved me even in the dark days but it is a bit galling when he lays it on with a shovel. Almost like he's emphasising what I wasn't before. I will talk to him about it as every time he says how gorgeous I am now it's like he is saying what a troll I was before. Now, I know that the picture is not that black and white. Still, I've always known that D is a B&W sort of guy whereas me, as a lawyer, I'm all the shades of grey.....
Makes the world go round. And, it's 300% better than it was. And, I'm just so happy for me that even a little angst doesn't really upset me - In fact, having re-read the above I've decided I'm looking for trouble when there is none to be had - another lawyer trait!!
Anyway, it was a good day - hectic but good to be alive...

Friday, 16 March 2007

Day 64 -37

D was delayed getting home from the rig last night so is stuck out there for another day. Not a happy bunny, poor lad. He's nearly home now but has been hanging around airports all day and worked the night shift last night so must be knackered. Also, he would have wanted to rest today ready for the big Irish extravaganza he's planning for Paddy's day tomorrow.

Oh well, I'm sure he'll power through, as ever. I'm going to the football tomorrow afternoon but will join him and our mates in town afterwards and drive them home too when I judge that the tide of booziness is turning...

Had a busy day at work but managed to leave early as I had to drop something off in Sheffield. H ad a quick flutter on the Cheltenham Gold Cup but my horse came in 6th so just out the places. Still, it was an exciting race (standing watching it in a smoky William Hills with about 30 blokes and not one woman!) and Kauto Star deserved the victory - what a horse!

Got home and raced out for a jog - managed to repeat my 5.5 mile circuit without too much trouble, then a quick shower and down to my friend Kate's to look after her kids while she got out for a run herself. She's been with the kids all day and had cabin fever.

It was fun playing with the snappers and Kate's other half Pete came in earlier than expected mid way through so Kate and I could have a chat when she got in. Since she's had the kids we've not seen as much of each other (for obvious reasons) but it's still nice to catch up and she was impressed by how much weight I've lost. She lost about 3 stone herself last year after her second child but did it gradually through dieting and running - so she understands a little of how pleased I am. It is different though as she is a generally slim person who gained some weight for a short period whereas I have been heavy forever so being slim will be a total novelty for me. I think it's going to freak people out!

We are arranging a joint 40th Birthday party for Kate, her husband Pete and Diarmuid as their birthdays are all close together later this year. It should be a good laugh and something to aim to be at target for - it's in August or September!!

Anyway, that's all for now - I'm starving after my run and am going to try the poppadums that Oiseau talks about on her blog - I've not been very adventurous so this is my chance. Have a great weekend all! And get exercising Claire!!! Yes, you Silverton!!

Thursday, 15 March 2007

Day 63 -38 Weigh In time

Well, another decent day past. I lost 4lbs this week taking me up to 3 stone 10lbs. I'm really pleased to be back losing proper numbers after only 2lbs last week. As it happens though, I think the amounts lost are beginning to go up and down more dramatically among the group as a whole. Several people reported losing 1lb one week then 5 the next or even, in one case, 8lb last week and 1lb this week. So I think as we progress along the diet we really have to look at the overall average loss rather than each individual week.

One thing that is very noticeable is how much healthier we all look. Brighter skin, shinier hair, more colour in our cheeks and of course slimmer. Markedly better than the pasty faced individuals who shuffled through the doors 9 weeks ago!

The exercise this evening was to do with a complicated triangle between Perscutors, Rescuers and Victims. It took a while for it to sink in with me but I think what she was getting at was that we need to take control of the role we play rather than being pushed into one against our will. For example, choosing not to always be the rescuer (ie. pick up everyone else's slack) and let people take responsibilty for themselves. Or, if you are habitually rescued, choose to take responsibility for yourself and not hid away from difficult choices etc. The relevance of all this to being fat is that,often, if you're pushed into an inappropriate or unpleasant role we use food as a solace or escape. So if we always do the rescuing, and no-one rescues us, we might turn to food as a comfort. etc etc.

I found it a bit tricky to follow as I don't naturally fall into any one of the 3 categories but flit between them depending upon circumstance. I do recognise though, that I'm taking a lot more responsibility for myself and that food is not enering into my choices where it might have done before. I suppose the trick is recognising the danger points when we come to start eating again.

Certainly the balance of power in my relationship with D has shifted to a much more healthy equilibrium as I get more powerful and he is happier for that to be the case, which is happening as the weight drops off. I can't say that I'm happy that my weight was such an issue between us but it was and I have to deal with that. It has left scars but I can feel them healing over with time.

So, that's all very deep but helpful to have that outlet for assessing behaviour and trying to work out how to change etc. One thing is very certain, there are a lot of games being played every day and the more you recognise them for what they are the less likely you are to fall for the seductive charms of food or other sops and false friends.

So, from the subline to the ridiculous - I dug out my mini trampoline this evening in a desperate attempt to burn off a last few ounces before my weigh in (how sad is that?!)and bounced up and down on it waving my arms in the air for 25 minutes to Richard & Judy. The dog is convinced I'm mad now and refuses to talk to me when I'm doing it but it is bloody good exercise and great for those rainy evenings when a walk or run is not on. Just need to crack the fitball and the resistance band now to tone up those saggy arms etc. It'll come...
Happy slimming everyone!!

Wednesday, 14 March 2007

Day 62 -39 Big jog!

My friend Suzanne dropped a note through my letterbox last night asking me if I felt ready to join "Kate's Kurvy Klub" which is a group of 4 or 5 women who go jogging. I've been out with them before but not been able to go as far or as fast so haven't really stuck to it. Anyway, now that I'm losing weight and doing more running I thought I'd give it a go at least once a week. They tend to run on Thursdays (which is my class night) and Mondays so Mondays should be a good start to the week.

In preparation, I thought I'd try to run their route tonight to make sure I was up to it. It's way further than I've been before but I made it round with no problem. Well, one problem - the bloody massive hill in the middle of it but, apart from that - I'm alive aren't I? It's 9km and it took me just less than an hour! I'm dead chuffed with myself but the dog's legs look 2 inches shorter, poor little thing!

So, that's another new thing I can do. This diet really has opened up my world.

People are already asking me when I'm going to stop, which is strange. I didn't get much opposition to the diet when I first started which I took as recognition of how much I needed to do it. But now that the weight is coming off, quite a few people are making their thoughts known and saying that I shouldn't "go too far"! I wonder why? Is it because they feel secure with me in the 'fat friend' box and, although they're happy for me to be slimmer, don't want me to be actually slim?? Who can say. I'm sure not one of them has any nasty motives but it seems strange that it's alright for them or for their girlfriends/wives to be a size 12 or smaller but not alright for me!

Anyway, I don't know where I'm going to stop at. I'd like to experience being a size 12 as I've never been that size in my adult life - really, never. But I suspect I will settle at around 14. I'm a sturdily built woman with a curvy shape and wouldn't want to lose that. Also, I don't want to set the bar too high and have to spend the rest of my life starving myself to maintain a slightly unrealistic figure. We'll see.

But, I can tell you one thing - whatever shape I end up, it'll my choice and I'll be staying there!!!

Tuesday, 13 March 2007

Day 61 -40

A pretty good day. Worked hard and was able to concentrate well for a change - so often I'm constantly interrupted and never seem to be able to settle on one task. Today, whether by luck or judgement, I managed to multitask my way through loads on my never ending list.

I despair of my colleague/bosses though. As I'm the only solicitor in my department they seem to think that I'm omniscient - they ask me about anything and everything and look like lost children when I tell them that I have not the foggiest idea what to do about a topic that has nothing whatsoever to do with my legal specialiasm. I think I'm creating a rod for my own back though - they seem to be losing any individual initiative and my boss especially wants me to hold his hand (not literally, you with the dirty minds!) through every tiny transaction. God knows what they did before they had a solicitor in the department?! Presumably they just winged it and probably got away with it 99% of the time!

Well, enough of that. I worked through lunch so couldn't go swimming for the second day running. I was going to go for a run at home instead but then had to stay late so couldn't fit one in before heading out to the football. At least I didn't have to meet up with Jim and watch him scoffing pizza again tonight - he had to work even later so arrived 10 minutes into the game! Still, I suppose I did do a fair bit of walking to and from the game and there's all the steps up to the top of the Kop- so not all bad. I know you're not a football oriented lot but, for form's sake and because I love Wednesday, we beat Colchester 2 nil. An underwhelming game but with nothing to play for now what do I expect?

I went to Meadowhall on my way home to take back some unworn wedding stuff I bought a couple of weeks ago. While there I popped into Next by way of an experiment to see whether I could fit into their size 18s. I tried on a pair of jeans and a fitted top and ......drum roll.........they fitted!! Jeans were tight and too low cut so wouldn't buy them, but.....another drum roll......they fitted!!

So, bye bye Evans - you've served me well but I'm afraid here we part company. Now I can hang out with the cool kids in Next, Principles, M&S etc I don't need mumsy old Evans. (I actually feel guilty saying that as Evans is pretty good and v cheap considering the range it covers - sorry Evans...) I'm sure there are loads more trendy shops to try but it's been so long since I shopped outside of the fat shops that I've no idea what's good anymore.

When I was last size 16/18, back when I got married in 1994(!), shops like Next and Principles didn't sell clothes in that size. It's only been in the last few years that everyone's widened their ranges. Anyway, I'm not going to buy anything much for the time being - will check out Primark, Matalan, Asda and New Look as don't want to spend much on temporary clothes but I'm very excited.

I told D on the phone this evening and he was pleased for me but I could tll that he didn't really understand the significance of it. That's why it's nice to have a blog to chat to - I know you lot understand.

Anyway, it's bed time now. Another day gone and I'm another day closer to being slim. Yay!

Monday, 12 March 2007

Day 60 -41

Wow, those days are really flying past - 60 gone already! It's been pretty quiet day though. I've got back on the stright and narrow after the excitement of my non-LL veggie soup at the weekend!! Busy at work as ever and didn't manage to go swimming at lunchtime. I was to do some chores at lunchtime but kept on being dragged off to do some pesky work - I mean - how inconvenient is that!?

Then a quick walk with the dog when I got home and I've been on the computer pretty much ever since. Mostly ebay but also checking emails and reading everyone else's blogs! They're great - so inpirational.

I have been thinking what a cool collection of women we are: Melanie and her country walk(s); Christine who is so determined to suceed despite her lactose intolerance; Wendy who must have psoted more before she even started than most people do in a month!; Cath with all her swimming, walking and gardening; Claire who is just starting out but is going to get into a fabulous wedding dress, I just know it. And loads of others who don't necessarily have blogs themselves or who are just starting out but who pop in and leave great comments on mine and other peoples' blogs. What a good collection of women and how stupid that so many people underestimate women ( and men I suppose) who are not rake slim and don't always see how much we have to offer.

The other common theme which seems to run through all our blogs and comments is our motivation for dieting and how determined we are to do this for ourselves really - it's just time to get this sorted; for health, for children and for the positive things being slim would bring but not because we're generally unhappy, maybe because we know we can be happier! There is a difference and I think the difference is that we're all pretty effective in most things and don't want to fail at this one, admittedly very visible, aspect of our lives. Most of our partners would prefer us to be slim but that isn't the reason we're embarking on this journey - it's for us and our self esteem and the rest of our lives.

I'm not meaning to force an analysis on everyone which certainly isn't a 'one size fits all' thing, but it just seemed striking how similar we all are despite the obvious differences of ages, geography, jobs, backgrounds etc Here's to us all... and a big goodbye to those lbs of flab which are floating off into the ether or wherever shed flab goes....

Sunday, 11 March 2007

Days 58 and 59 -43/42 - London weekend

Hi all. I've just come back from my weekend in London, well the leafy bits of Middlesex to be exact and checked up on my blog. I'm touched by the lovely comments added to my last post when I was a bit disappointed about only losing 2lbs. You're all dead right and I've put it into perspective now and had a wonderful weekend to boot.

I felt great in my size 18 evening dress on Saturday night but, unfortunately, my mates aren't great photographers (hope they never have to do a wedding!) so these are the best shots of me in my dress. Hey ho. The girl is Nicola and yes, she is really tall. I'm 5'7" and wearing 3 inch heels so that makes her 6' and wearing 2inch heels - a tall girl! We were at her rowing club annual dinner dance so there were loads of really tall strapping women littering the place - I felt positively delicate in comparison! There were 3 of us going as Nicola's guests: me, Jim (my footie buddy - the one in the photo by the river) and Nic's ex-boyfriend and now really good mate Craig. Despite us not knowing anyone apart from Nic we had an excellent time. We went to support her really as she doesn't know many people down south and is trying to get social life going. Not sure how sucessful that will be but you've got to try.

Anyway, the boys were in great demand with legions of single strapping (female) rowers and I was having a blast laughing at them and saving them from the really scary ones and dancing like a mad thing. The food was not a problem - soup and bar at the table and gallons of sparkling water - it's easy when you know how!

The boys are good dancers and pretty hot at salsa and ceroc so I was in dance heaven being swung round the place - I never would have been able to keep up if I hadn't lost the weight I have and would have been miserable, hot and sweaty. Thank God for LL!

Before the do we spent the morning in Notting Hill at Portobello Road market and then went onto the Sheffield Wednesday away game at Loftus Road against QPR. Not the greatest game as we drew 1-1 but not bad. It was a good day though. One snag was that once we got to Portobello Road I realised that I had forgotten my foodpack and shaker (left it on the table where I had left it ready to take with me - Doh!). I had eaten brekkie at 9.30am and there was no way I could last until when we got home at 6pm, expecially as we were walking all around town and to and from the footie ground etc. Too far to go back. Dilemma. In the end I decided to eat and had a vegetable soup in the pub with them when they ate their lunch. I picked out the croutons though and didn't have any bread. It tasted gorgeous and wasn't very big. I didn't have the 4th foodpack that day so I'm hoping it won't make any difference. It certainly taught me to check stuff a bit better - maybe you get a bit blase as the diet progresses.

Anyway, apart from tht hiccup I was spotless: no booze, no mouthfuls of anything - a saintly LL'er!

Also, on both Saturday and Sunday mornings I got up early and went for a jog along the Thames. I managed 45 minutes both days and felt fab. It's lovely and flat down there which makes a pleasant change which is probably why I managed to carry on for longer. Nic joined me on Sunday morning and enjoyed it too so hopefully she'll keep it up after I leave. Not that she needs to as she's lovely and slim but it's good to get out and appreciate your surroundings I think and the river path along the Thames is special. We saw a group of parakeets this morning. I had heard that there are loads living wild in London but have never seen them - looks really weird to see such exotic birds flying along the muddy old Thames and perching in English trees.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm going to cuddle my dog and watch Crufts. Have a good night everyone!

Friday, 9 March 2007

Days 56 and 57 -45/44 Weigh In again

Hi all. It was my weigh in last night but didn't feel too hot so didn't get round to posting.

As you can see I had a disappointing week and only lost 2lbs. I knew I wasn't heading for a good total but I suppose you have to expect it to slow down and for TOTM issues to have an effect. It doesn't make it any easier though . Anyway, I was a bit miserable last night thinking that I've gone through all this for 2 measly lbs so couldn't be bothered to come upstairs and post.

Needless to say, I woke up this morning, had a quick look on the blog and found a great comment from Melanie saying not to worry if I don't lose much, it happens and I should look at the big picture, I've done really well etc. All the good advice that I've doled out to other people in the past. So, it was great to receive a bit of my own medecine and for it to make me feel so much better. So thanks Mel and thanks to everyone who checks in as it really makes the diffrence knowing that you're not alone.

I've been thinking about it from the positive angle - I'm doing really well and I want to share that feeling and inspire others too. Now II've had the positive angle come back at me and help me when I got a bit low and it's a good thing!

Putting the weight loss in context - I've not cheated apart from the half glass of champers at Shelley's wedding and I'm not going to feel guilty about that! I had a bad week in week 3 when it was my time of the month so there is another factor. It is just one of those things. My body may be retaining water and hopefully I'll lose a decent amount next week instead. Anyway, 2lbs is hardly shabby - if I was on Slimming World I would have been really happy with a solid 2lb loss!!

What else did I get up to yesterday? Ah yes, had an early meeting in Manchester which went pretty well and then worked from home in the pm. Met up with Shelly in the early evening and went for another run. This one was all off road and pretty muddy. We extended ourselves up to nearly 3 miles and included quite a few hills. It was great - I wasn't too tired at the end although I feel a bit stiff this moring! Shelagh absolutely loved it too. She was running like a mad dog between Shelley and I (I'm a bit slower than my friedn so she had to wait ocasionally) and must have covered about 8 miles in total!

D was a pain - rang me at 11.30pm and woke me up then, when I was sleepy and didn't want to chat for long, had a right go and made out that I didn't want to talk to him. Well, it was the middle of the night, I was down from having only lost 2lbs and had a banging headache and, no, I didn't really want to chat about nothing for another 10 minutes! I know he looks forward to the calls but he forgets that they're all on his terms and don't always get me at a good time. I told him so too and he sort of backed down but it still didn't help me sleep afterwards! Grrr

Today, not done much - busy at work and feel much happier than I did last night. I'm at home now and will take the dog out for a walk before heading down to London for the weekend with my footie mates, Nicola, Jim and Craig. D not very happy about that either! We're going to Nicola's rowing club dinner dance tomorrow night which is a black tie do so I'm sort of looking forward to that. Will be good to have a laugh and a boogie but not so good staying sober and not eating! Hey ho...

Anyway, I'd better get on - have a great weekend and keep on keeping on....

Thursday, 8 March 2007

Day 55 -46

A pretty good day all round. I stayed at my desk at lunchtime and did internet chores - found something to do on St Patrick's Day for D which was harder to do than I thought it would be. We'll just to go into an Irish pub in town which has bands on all day and see if any of our mates is up for coming with us.

I also booked our flights to Canada in June! Yay - now D definitely can't get out of it. We're going for just shy of 3 weeks and it'll be a ball. Going to Toronto, Ottawa and Nova Scotia so will see my family and also go to Niagara Falls and do loads of outdoorsy stuff in Nova Scotia like whale watching, hiking, kayaking etc. I'm wondering whether to upgrade my camera before we go. I mean, I like this one but would kill for a digital SLR with zoom lenses etc. We'll see.

Came home and went for a jog (more like a cross country run actually) with Shelley. It was really muddy but much nicer than being on the roads and Shelagh likes it better. Worked out about the same as the run to the Travelllers and back - about 3.5km - but hillier. Will try and find a longer route this afternoon as I'm working from home after my meeting in Manchester.

After our run we had the moment of truth with Shelley going through her wedding photos. She seemed really happy with them thank God! She said they were exactly what she was after as she didn't want loads of posed formal photos etc. She even said that I captured them are they are which I took as a great compliment. Actually, they are so natural that it would be hard not to but I was pleased that she is happy. I burned the photos onto a CD so she could take it home to Martin and peruse it at their leisure and no doubt we'll sort out an album in time. Phew!! I think I'll bow out of the wedding photography business on top - it's just too stressful!

The weight loss is showing some signs of movement but I'm not getting my hopes up for a great loss this week, I'll be gutted though if I have lost less than 3lbs, know I shouldn't be but just will be - it's a visceral thing! Fingers' crossed for me please!

Tuesday, 6 March 2007

Day 54 -47

Just a quick post as I've only just got back from the football and finished talking to D and want to go to bed! Had a good night tonight - Jim is excited about the weekend so that got me looking forward to it. Had to watch him eating pizza and garlic bread with cheese and drinking lager which wasn't so good but, on balance, a fun evening! The football wasn't exactly thrilling - a nil nil bore draw. Still, we didn't lose so no harm done.

Went swimming at lunchtime and managed a good 50 lengths in less than 30 minutes so not bad.

I'm a bit subdued as the weight is not coming off very fast this week. Looking back I realise the same thing happened 4 weeks ago so it must be TOTM but depressing nonetheless. Hopefully I'll get 3 or 4lbs off anyway and all will not be lost. It just seems harsh this week of all weeks when I've been so good at the wedding and then had to watch Jim eating a pizza as well tonight.

Actually one nice thing did happen today - I was in a meeting with the Chief Executive of the Council where I work this morning and before we started he looked up said "So, how much weight have you lost then?" and all the other blokes there joined in saying how noticeable it was etc etc. Pretty pleasant as they're all quite senior and didn't have to say anything - in fact, in today's PC world, they're probably wondering whether they should say anything which indicates that they have noticed my figure at all! The Chief Exec is possibly the least PC bloke around though and I really appreciated the compliment as he never says anything he doesn't want to say or doesn't mean.

Monday, 5 March 2007

Day 53 -48

Back to work again. Was in mega early (7am again) and got a fair bit done before my appointment at the Dental hospital. yeuch! Not too bad this time although they have confirmed that I have to have an extraction....aaaargh! How much do teeth weigh??

On my way back to the office I stopped into Meadowhell to got to Debenhams and Monsoon looking for an evening dress for the dinner dance I'm going to on Saturday. In Debenhams I picked up a stack of 20s and was excited to discover that they were all too big! So back for the 18s and one of them was too big! I ended up buying a pretty bias cut black dress with cream embroidery and a cream sparkly stole (in size 18 - yay!). Very girly.

All the shops were full of identical 50's style high waisted full skirted dress which look absolutely terrible on me - I look like a baby hippo in a dress! It's a shame tho' 'cos the fabircs are gorgeous this season - pretty, light, interesting, not all in black. I'm pretty sure that that style wouldn't suit me however slim I got though - so I didn't feel depressed! I think it's because the full skirt falls from above the waist so you don't see that I have a waist and then flares outwards making my hips look even bigger and to make matters worse they tend to be just below the knee in length, which is the fattest part of my leg so really, really unflattering! I have stuck with an old favourite look and pray that dresses for curvy girls come back in soon!

Anyway, an evening in with nothing decent on telly so I'll be on ebay tonight. Hope this gets better!

Diet fine - no cheating and no feeling deprived. Haven't done any exercise apart from shopping today (athough that was pretty arduous). Must go swimming tomorrow.

Sunday, 4 March 2007

Day 52 -49

God - I've just noticed that I'm over half way through Foundation! Wow, that has flown by. I'm sure this blog has been a major factor in my doing so well. That and all the support I have received from the various people who check in and leave comments - it is really appreciated and feels great to know that there are people out there who know what you're going through - both good and bad.

Had my french lesson early this morning and it went very well. She really is a nice woman and I seem to be making progress even in the first 3 weeks - it must be the fact that I'm doing my homework for the first time ever! After I got back, I've had another frustrating day on ebay - it just takes so long listing anything. I was hoping that it would get quicker but it doesn't seem to. Maybe the server is slow on a Sunday or something as I keep getting stuck and not being able to progress to the next page....grrrr

Still, the good news is that I have had another look through my wardrobe and found loads of things I will never wear and several things in size 18 (!) that I can comfortably fit into!!! It has been a long time since I wore an 18. It is bliss throwing away and (trying to) sell my fat clothes. After I slim out of these 18's I will have to buy new stuff as I have hardly any 16's. I know I will be able to beg a few things off friends but it'll be new gear from then on... bring it on!

The weather is crap so haven't been out for a walk yet. I think doggie will have to settle for a quick scuttle round the block at this rate. Maybe I'll force myself out for a jog if it clears up after dark. The dog hates walking in the dark so I won't feel guilty.

Oh well, perfect weather for ebaying...

Day 51 -50

Had a quiet day over at my folks' place near Lincoln. Their friends, Ian and Jose were over for the weekend and they live in France so I wanted to pick their brains about what it's like over there for an expat. It was really good to see them as I haven't seen them for years although Mum and Dad keep me in touch with what they and their children are up to.

I got some usefuly tips about properties from Ian and Jose and had a lovely walk with Jose round the village. It's always good to get back to Lincolnshire and see the open skies of my home county. I love the hills here but I suppose home always speaks to you doesn't it?

Mum and Dad were suitably impressed by the weightloss and they and the landlady at the pub said you could see I had lost weight even since I was last there about 3 weeks before! She's mad about dogs too so was making a fuss about Shelagh and her smart hair cut....more daft dog stuff...

I was happy to help Mum with the cooking again and didn't eat, so another temptation bypassed. I was also really happy with a new outfit I have put together - I new top from M & S, my tweedy skirt, long brown boots and a brown leather belt around my hips - very stylish! I feel so much slimmer and that I can take on new looks.

Anyway, not much to report - we stayed in in the evening and watched MOTD...very pleasant but not exciting!

Saturday, 3 March 2007

Day 50 - the wedding

Well, it was a beautiful wedding. really happy and lovely. Loads of friinds and family - no fights, gorgeous weather, lovely setting and nice food and drink. Well, I'm told that the food and drink were good although I didn't taste any of it! It certainly smelled good.
I had half a glass of champagne to toast the bride and groom but apart from that stuck to my soup and bar and water. I got the staff to heat up my soup and they brought it out to the table in a posh bowl and it seemed much better that way! It seemed to go on forever compared to drinking it out of a mug!
I had a really good time too - did a fair bit of dancing and obviously took loads of photos. I think I've established that I'm definitely a nature and scenery photographer - people are a pain, they keep moving and shutting their eyes!! I've got loads of good shots but I'm definitely no professional wedding photographer! Oh well, if they had really cared about polished photos they would have paid for a photographer. I'll do my best to put together a good album and some of my candid shots are great.
It wasn't too bad not eating and drinking. Loads of people made a real fuss about my weight loss and admired my willpower so that made it easier. Taking photos did help though as it kept me busy. It was probably harder being without D than not eating to be honest. Also, I'm seriously wondering whether I'll drink much ever again - I don;t seem to miss it much and I love feeling good in the morning!
Anyway - I did it so that's all that matters. I'm a bit knackered this morning due to the late night but I'm off to my parents later to talk to some friend of theirs who are living in France. I want to pick their brains about living over there.

Friday, 2 March 2007

Day 50 -51

Well, I've got a Wedding to go to today and the bloody bride has stuck me with the job of official photographer! When I agreed I thought there would be another guy doing it too and that I would just be doing the candid shots of the guests etc. Now it turns out that he can't make it and I am it! Talk about pressure. So, in honour of the wedding I went out for a walk along the river bank this morning and tried a few new things to warm up. A bit arty eh?
It is a gorgeous sunny and crisp day. She must be the luckiest bride ever as it has been miserable and rainy here for days. That should help my job too. Actually having something to do will probably help me as well. D is away so I'll be single for the day which is fine but can get a bit tricky when all your mates are in couples. Also, I'm not eating or drinking so taking photos might help keep me busy and away from temptation.
It really is going to be a massive do though - practically everyone from the Valley is going so regardless of diet and not drinking I'm determined to have a great time. I'll post tomorrow and hopefully have a nice shot of me in my glad rags and tales of virtuous pleasure (if there can be such a thing!).

Thursday, 1 March 2007

Day 49 -52 (half way through Foundation) - Weigh-in

Well as you can see (just!) I've lost another 6lbs this week taking me to 3 stone and 4lbs in total. I'm very pleased that the progress is remaining constant. It's a real shot in the arm each week and is encouraging me not to cheat and to exercise as well. I'm sure that's partly what is causing me to do so well.
I was up at crack of dawn to get to a course in Leeds but luckily I found I could leave mid morning rather than staying 'til the bitter end so I was working from home by 2pm. Got a fair bit done (including my french homework on the train) then took the dog for a long and muddy walk.
Then off to class to be weighed. Once again, we didn't have a DVD but chatted about our core beliefs about ourselves, both positive and negative and how we can change these if they are having a negative effect on ourselves. I think I need to do some work on this. My main negative idea about myself is that I'm a procrastinator and that stems from my feeling that I won't be able to do a task - thus I keep putting it off. I need to work out why I think I won't be able to do these things as generally, once I force myself to knuckle down, I do them fine.
Delay is more of a worry than not doing the task well. Often, if I did it promptly but not brilliantly I would have a better result! So that is my homework for this week - work on ways to stop procrastinating and try to work out why I do it in the first place. I'll read the book and do the exercise for this week too which is on this topic I think.
The idea behind this is that if you have a belief about yourself it may cause you to act in a certain way (and overeat potentially) and in order to stop the behaviour (eg. the overeating) you need to address the belief and the possibly faulty reasoning behind it. She drew the concept out as a Thought-Feeling-Behaviour traingle with each element affecting the others. So, if you identify a problem behaviour you then have to identify the corresponding thought and feeling and make changes there. It works for minor things like a habit of snacking right up to major lifestyle factors.
Hope you're all doing well and sticking to it - we are all going to triumph - I've decided!