Saturday, 27 February 2010
Thursday, 18 February 2010
A rather bleak looking field and farmplace with cow eating the remains of a cabbage crop - even LL is better than that!
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
As we know, a lot of eating is nothing to do with nutrition and, although I feel I've broken lots of links between food and emotion, I also found it helpful to remind myself of the fact that food is fuel, not an emotional crutch.
So, after Monday I have increased my intake and feel much much better, both for increasing it after my wobbley Tuesday morning but also for cutting it back after the excesses of the weekend.
Do you find that? That eating less can energise you? I do but wish I would remember that when I'm about to stuff something unnecessary into my chops and then feel dismal and lethargic afterwards!!
Anyway, this is going to be a very quick post as I'm under orders to get over to Glossop before 7pm and the Snake Pass is going to be snowy!! What is it with snowy Wednesdays?? I may be turning back if it's bad when I get up top, dinner with pals is not worth getting stranded for!
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
I now have that new-diet zeal and feel full of energy and motivation. I'm determined to keep this going for the next couple of months and see at least a stone leave my frame. It's do-able and I want it!
Having said that, I have a couple of strategies to guard against failure.
Firstly, I'm going to allow myself meals out occasionally but make sure that the rest of the meals that day are suitably austere. The reasoning behind this is that I don't want to put my life on hold as I did during LL. The situation is nowhere near as bad as it was pre-LL days so the solution need not be as drastic either.
Secondly, I'm going to make sure that I have enough fuel for exercise. I exercised all the way through LL but, looking back, it was not as demanding as what I do now. I was a big woman and I used to go running (shuffling I called it!) for around 30 minutes or so, or do personal training with lighter weights and fewer reps. Now I do a very hard gym workout involving weights and aerobic stuff which totally drains me.
I really enjoyed the gym last night - doing the Rowing Machine Challenge was great. I was dreading it before I started - my chimp going mad trying to persuade me not to do it - it'll hurt, you don't need to do it; why put yourself through it? etc etc - but my competitive instincts kicked in and I overrode her objections. I saw some other names up on the board with their times and thought - if they can do it, I can bloody well do it, especially as the "theys" in question are both several years older than me!! And I was childishly pleased to be in the lead on the board; the fastest woman and faster than several of the men too. I'm sure one of the women in particular will have another go and probably overtake me but there's still time to fight for my top spot!
So, harnessing my chimp's natural competitiveness is good (as long as I don't go too far and feel bad about losing, which won't happen). Teaching her that what she wants is not always good for us is also good. But most important of all is reminding myself what it feels like to be in charge. It's very liberating and it's what I need to be to keep happy and healthy. And on the subject of competitiveness, I've just made a date in a couple of weeks' time to play squash against a colleague. We used to play quite a bit early last year and he always beats me but by very close margins; one day I will take a game off him!! So there's variety and challenge in the mix too.
Monday, 15 February 2010
Not very grown up there Les. The week was not too bad foodwise - good breakfasts, good lunches (slightly too much food but generally healthy stuff) and then a gradual loosening over the afternoons leading to overly generous but not not terrible suppers. But I did very little in the way of exercise. A few walks, one personal training session but I failed miserably in making myself go to the gym or swimming despite having plenty of time to do both. There was much sitting around watching bad detective shows on Sky Plus in the evenings. Much "caving" and not going out to the pub. Much avoidance of chores and reality.
The weekend was my chimp's last hurrah - I drove to my parents and stopped for petrol station goodies, a big coffee and even - brace yourself - a KFC!! While at my parents I was okay but the return journey was similarly (without the KFC) debauched. Last night at home, I polished off the last of the Christmas cake (well, to be fair, the last of what I hadn't taken to my parents) and plotted firmly to myself.
The plotting started during my solitary walk on Saturday afternoon. My father didn't fancy it - too cold and looked like rain (he was right) so I just set off with no clear idea of a route. The Lincolnshire countryside is much less conducive to unstructured walking - much fewer footpaths - than the Peak District. I ended up walking for over 2 hours despite being caught in a shower. Just trudging and thinking really. There are very few hills so your route, where you've been and where you're going, is totally open. It makes for very thought-provoking company. When you walk around Bamford, you're always climbing a hill or rounding a corner; you're much more engaged by the scenery and the present. In Lincolnshire it is a flat, little varying open book - just massive skyscapes which have the effect of making you feel small and insignificant.
I found it good for thinking and I think it was that walk, the relentless, tramps' heartbreak feel of it, that cemented this nowfound determination in me. At home, if I want to turn back, I can usually find a short cut or an alternative route. There are loads of routes to pick. On Saturday, once I'd committed to that route, I was stuck with it and could only carry on until I got home - the lack of choice and the realisation that being tired and getting wet wouldn't get me home any quicker and wouldn't kill me were freeing. That helped me translate that thought to dieting, not eating much and sticking the course won't kill me.... So, three cheers for Lincolnshire. I wouldn't choose you for a walking holiday but, when I want to reconnect with myself, you are always there for me.
I know the theory - diets do NOT have to start on Monday - but it has proved to be easier today than yesterday. I'm going for the fully fledged, calorie-controlled, no-frills approach. I want results and, more importantly, I want to remind myself that the sky will not fall in if I don't eat generous meals; that mild hunger is not necessarily a bad thing. And I feel soooo much better for it. Admittedly this is very early days but hey, I'm blogging agian aren't I?! Not hiding from what I know to be true as I have been doing.
And on the exercise front, although I didn't go swimming as planning at lunchtime, that was only becuase I was in the middle of some very productive work and I had already arranged to be picked up by Vicky to be taken to the gym this evening instead! See what I did there? And psychologically speaking, I've retrieved the memories of restraint and abstinence (without the chemical dust) and it is liberating. The gym was great too - did the rowing machine 5000 metres challenge in 21 minutes and 38 seconds and am currently leading the ladies' section - GO ME!!
My chimp had suceeded in convincing me that eating small amounts was terrible and, truly, it is not.
Now I just have to keep myself busy and active and hopefully I can get the extra 10lbs I've gained off and maybe a little more besides......fingers crossed for me please!
Monday, 8 February 2010
Drunken night out on the Friday evening, Thai meal followed by the worst "club" in London! Nat really didn't want to go clubbing so, being good friends of hers, Stacey and I unceremoniously made her. It was called the Mango Lounge and it was dire!! Terrible, pointless Garage music and overpriced drinks and an assortment of foreigners having what looked like an awful, joyless time. We loved it of course...
Trouble is, after another few hours drinking at home, the hangover was monumental. Which in turn meant that Saturday was a bit of a write-off. Still, we eventually managed to drag ourselves out and across London to Borough Market. We've all lived in London for years between us and none of us had ever been!! How rubbish is that?? It's top!
If you don't know it's a great foodie market in Southwark. Gorgeous food, somewhat overpriced but beautiful and soooo tasty. We had a good time picking our feast for Saturday night and then went home and ate it. Well, I couldn't countenance the Vacheran cheese (toooo toooo stinky for me!) but everything else was delish.
So, I'm very sorry that this post is the anti-diet post. But, but but, I managed a run on Sunday morning and didn't drink on Saturday night (that pesky hangover again)........
And now I'm truly on the straight and narrow. I've made a great fresh start and am feeling very positive. Long may it last.
Friday, 5 February 2010
Oh dear - accessories have been purchased and not quite so fresh-faced!
Yes - the Facebook Face makes an appearance. My nieces will be so proud!
I do know this chap BTW - we bumped into some Bamford locals (well, I reckon they were looking for us). Note slightly bleary eyes but not too bad overall as we were about to leave (unfortunately via a kebab shop....)
Thursday, 4 February 2010
The good news is that I've not stopped exercising and I'm not eating badly so no major damage being done. Nor am I miserable or anything, just a bit blah. So, I'm going to go with it and not beatr myself up about the inactivity. Keep trying to do bits and bobs of chores and outings but, if I don't fancy it, just veg until I feel more lively.
That said, I'm off to London tomorrow for a long overdue visit to some capital based pals. We're planning a nice supper on Friday night then a visit to Borough market on Saturday to pick up nice food and because, shamefully, none of us have been. Rachel has, unfortunately, hurt her foot and is on crutches so she's coming over in the evening for a meal in and a good girly chat.
And, I'm going to take my running kit down with me to see if my foot is up to jogging yet. It feels better but you never know 'til you try. I'm going to try for a couple of morning runs to keep me on the straight and narrow. Wish me luck!