Winter in Bradwell

Winter  in Bradwell

Monday, 31 August 2009

Style Council

Knowing that blog readers are paragons of style and taste (he he he) I thought I would set you a challenge. I have a wedding to go to on Saturday. It's a traditional English country wedding - village church followed by posh hotel near Harrogate. I will be attending alone as D is on the rig and I want to look good and do lots of dancing. I have 2 dresses. Do you see where I'm going with this??


Right, first up is a disclaimer about the photoshoot which follows - I know the dresses need ironing and, for the wedding, of course I will do my hair, put on make-up, clean my shoes and accessorise the winning outfit correctly but I didn't have time, okay!! Work with me....sheesh.....

As you can see, my friend Natalie has very kindly taken some pics of me posing shamelessly in both outfits and has managed to get both feet and head in (something no-one managed at the last wedding I went to...) so what do you think??
The first is the Monsoon one I wore to Craig and Angela's wedding and really liked. So, on the positive side, it looks nice and has had an outing and not disgraced itself by getting uncomfortable or crinkled and has proved itself as being good to dance in, not too tight etc etc. On the negative side, I've already worn it once (although there won't be any crossover of guests at the 2 weddings).


(Not the most flattering photo unfortunately, seem to be sticking my tum out - I do have better ones but not full length.)


The second is a new dress from Phase Eight. It's the same style (just a size smaller - get me!) as one I bought earlier in the summer when I went to Nicola's 40th birthday celebration in Leamington Spa and managed to bring everything but my dress! It's very va va voom and I felt good that night too. It's unworn as yet so I feel that I should give it an outing before the summer is over. Or I could take it back and save myself 90 quid....


I'm leaning towards one but not going to tell you which. I also don't promise to go with your choice as myself and Nat and anyone else who visits over the next few days have all been awarded voting rights in this game but I will definitely take your views into account. It's a tricky choice and absolutely nothing is riding on it save my desire to look foxy!!!

Vote now vote now....Banzai!!

Thursday, 27 August 2009

More fame....did you feel like this Shauna??

Just noticed that we are on the Sky website too: www.skymedia.co.uk/highlights/lifestyle-and-culture/september-highlights.aspx


A slightly better pic than the one in the Sky mag although Kathryn who is the one in the front would not agree!!

It is making it very real now. I'm glad we're off on holiday so I don't have to worry about it until nearer the time. Of course I will miss the only genuine perk of doing the show (apart from free access to a world renowned psychiatrist and Olympic standard cycling and fitness trainers of course!!) which is an all-expenses trip to London to do the Skyride on 20th September. The other women will be up on the platform doing the warm up routine in front of thousands of cyclists taking part in the race on the Mall. Sounds like fun.

I think Botswana will be better though (tee hee).

It's only now beginning to hit me that loads of people who I hardly know are going to see me on the telly and feel free to make judgements about me based on how a bunch of TV execs decided to cut my footage. feel s alittle precarious to be honest. But I'm not going to worry about that....it's about what I got out of the show, not what I look like on the telly....no, really.........

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Pollyanna

I look very clean and shiny here. I think I had just taken my waterproof off so my clothes underneath were reasonably clean. I looked like a muddy urchin by the time I got home - wet through and mudded up to the eyeballs. Had to stand in the kitchen and peel my kit off or would have destroyed the house!
You may have noticed that I tend to be a bit positive. I've been wondering whether this is a good thing (probably) or whether it might stop me facing up to things. Might some of the positivity actually be me not accepting that I have to act/change and putting on a false front?


Now, I'm pretty certain that most of it is genuine positivity but I also think I do sometimes hide behind the "Good News!" rather than facing stuff.


I used to have a friend in Uni (haven't seen her for decades but would like to (mental note - look up Sandra) and she used to say "Why are you always so cheerful?" You can't be happy all the time so some of the time you must be being fake. Why don't you live through the sadness and the depression as well as the happiness?" Or words to that effect. She was a bit moody herself...


I would reply that, of course I'm not always happy but I'd rather, at least with others, put on a brave face because usually that in itself is enough to turn the sadness into something better and, if it is just general low-level sadness/grumpiness/bad mood, why inflict it on everyone else?? If I was genuinely unhappy I would turn to friends of family for help.


So, it's habit I have obviously nurtured for many many years (at least 20).


And overall, it's a good one.


Take this evening for example. I am at that horrid TOTM when your stomach feels like a football and everything hurts. I could have stayed at home and caved, especially given the miserable rainy weather. But instead, knowing I would have difficulty motivating myself to do anything, I arranged to go out mountain bike riding with a mate. The first time we have been out riding together but hopefully not the last.


It was raining when we set off but cleared up after 10 minutes and left us cycling through the mud like 10 years olds. We were out for over an hour and now I feel sore, tired, a bit achy but I have a massive grin on my face. I still have a stomach like a football but I know that I haven't given in to it. And I've done something good for Amy too as she is trying to lose weight and get fit and needs some help herself.


So, I need to watch out for hiding behind the positivity but not forget how much good it brings me. Taking action as opposed to letting things happen passively is nearly always the right thing to do (at least for me).

Monday, 24 August 2009

PS - plug plug

Just spotted myself and the other TV women in the Sky mag (p.17). Looking mean, moody and, it has to be said, pretty fat! I'm thinner than that now.....phew!

Aaaaand breathe....

Photo credit to Peridot - me and Minty about to snog!!

Photo credit to Beth - The beautiful Peak District in all its heathery gorgeousness. Phew!

Beth again - one of the many shots she took trying to capture Minty in her manic mentalism.

Minty somewhat perplexed at having her own personal papparazzo following her around. You'd think she'd be used to it with me but Beth took it to new heights!


See - not just me - another Beth shot of blackberries

It has been a manic few days and I'm happy to realise that I have a quiet week ahead of me. But, having said that, it's been brilliant too. I've really enjoyed all that I've been up to so not moaning about being tired or disorganised at all. Tired and happy....


Last week, I had a trip up to Newcastle on Wednesday. The Mighty Sheffield Wednesday were playing a league fixture away to Newcastle United. Because Toon had been relegated from the Premiership last season this was always going to be a big fixture for us and we were determined to go even though it fell on a midweek evening....typical.



Anyway, it was great, a mixture of: foodie - swanky lunch at Six on the top floor of the Baltic Mill overlooking the Millennium Bridge and Quayside; cultural - wander through pretentious art galleries which were, strangely, thronged with blokes in Sheffield Wednesday shirts (didn't know us Wednesdayites were so arty!); beer-soaked - pre-match drinks at a city centre pub the size of an aircraft hangar full of Geordies in black and white stripey shirts (we were meeting Jim's cousin so were safe although not wearing our colours); architectural - (I'm reaching here) we were sitting at the very top of the relatively new Sir John Hall Stand which is about 10 storeys' high and pretty impressive - could hardly see the players of course, they were like a crowd of multi-coloured ants running around miles below us but there was a wall of glass to our left and you could see the whole of Newcastle spread out beyond the ground; sporting - the game of course - we lost but it was pretty close and we didn't disgrace ourselves; musical - the singing was fab - we only heard the famed Geordie roar once but it sent shivers down my spine and our little band of 2,800 Sheffielders really sang our hearts out; nightlife - post-match drinking and clubbing (the less said the better - not pretty); and finally multi-ethnic - late night curry in the Bigg Market!!


Thursday was a dash back home, walking the dogs and sorting the house out and then back into Sheffield for the U2 concert. They were playing at the Don Valley stadium and me and my friend Vicky had standing tickets in the open air. On the drive into town it was chucking it down! The rain bouncing off the pavements, it could not been wetter. Another friend who was also going to the concert confidently texted me in the middle of this downpour "don't worry - it never rains at U2". How did he know? With an hour to go the rain stopped, the clouds disappeared and the sunshine came out. It was the most beautiful evening I've seen in a long while. That Bono must be paying off the Big Man I reckon...

It was a good gig - I'm not a major U2 fan although like most of their stuff. Not so keen on the recent material but enjoyed everything else. The set was fantastic but I would have liked to have been able to see the stage - if they can build a huge 4 legged set which changes colour every 2 minutes, could they not make the stage 10 foot taller so everyone on the ground could see them?? Still, most uplifting and very slick. The usual crush getting home of course so didn't get back 'til nearly 1am.

Then Friday, leave work early to tidy up the much-neglected house and make up beds etc as being visited by blog pals! Can't have them wading through inch thick dog fur and assorted clutter, who knows what they might say! The visitation was from London dwellers Peridot and Beth so I had had stern words with the Peak District to do its best and not let me down.

It was great - the weather on Saturday was perfect for the planned long walk - cool but sunny and blue-skyed. The heather was blooming and everything looked gorgeous. Though I say so myself I selected a route which had something for everyone and we walked our little socks off - we were out for 7 hours although did stop for drinks, sandwiches and reviving snacks during that time. We also must have burned off several hundred calories in talking alone!! Diet, food, celeb gossip, shopping, fashion - nothing was out of range.

Peri had brought some sort of magic home-cooked doggie treats for Shelagh and Minty and they fell at her feet in slobbering gratitude. Shelagh especially literally quivered with joy when being fed them and spent the time in between prowling the kitchen casting significant looks at the tin! Minty was her usual thuggish self but very sweet and enyoyed, as ever, having a choice of people to jump on and snog.

Beth earned major kudos for running up to Shatton mast on Sunday morning. Through a minor hangover (a little wine and gin was had) she braved the steepest hill in my area "for the challenge"!! I have run up it but not for a while so was incredibly impressed and inspired. When I get over a small bout of inflammation of the heel (plantar fasciitis) I will tackle it again - promise. I was pleased to note though, that, although she did it - which is amazing, she acknowledged that it was an absolute killer. If it had been a breeze, I would have had to kill myself and probably her first!!

We had such a good time that I hardly noticed missing Sheffield Wednesday thumping Scunthorpe 4 nil....4 nil!! I shed barely a tear at missing what is very likely to be our best game of the season....honest..... Peridot very kindly arranged for England to win the Ashes yesterday as a small compensation, which was good of her.

And - in big news - I have finally dropped some actual weight! I have been sticking at 13.1 forever and, despite feeling thinner and fitting into smaller clothes the scales have not budged. Lb on, lb off....grasshopper...etc But, on Saturday morning - 3 off!! Sunday saw another one go but think that was a bit on the optimistic side so today we're back to 12.12!! The relief. Just goes to show that you have to have patience and that a bit of "forgetting" about diet and just living can do wonders.

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

The Lovely Huw

Doggie politics kicking in both of them wanting to be co-pilot! Shelagh not impressed with Minty's boldness...see the resentful glare! Also quite hard to steer...

Ah, that's more like it - there's only one co-pilot on this boat....and it's not that upstart Minty!!


Nice sunny pub with flowers and fruity Pimms.....God it was good!

Those sailing boats took up a lot of room, we were nearly in the reeds trying not to get in their way.

Very chatty African Grey parrot in Upton. We used to have one in Nigeria when I was a kid so it took me back.

Glam Girl admitted in her blog recently that she couldn't do it on her own so she was going to have to give in and had signed up for Personal Training. She seemed to think it was a bad thing. I don't understand it.


I've been going to personal training with The Lovely Huw (TLH) for 2 and a half years now. Twice a week in his studio gym just a mile from home from 7am on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It is the most consistent I have ever been with any form of exercise and I've seen the biggest changes in my physique as well. It is definitely a "non-negotiable" in my life and I only miss for very good reasons (holidays, death...and...er, that's it). It's so embedded that all my colleagues know not to book me in for a meeting before 10am on Tuesday or Thursdays either.


TLH is a really nice guy. God knows what he makes of my early morning stream of consciousness chatter on every subject under the sun but he seems to enjoy it! I wouldn't have thought that I'm the chatty type at 7am but apparently I am! Although I chat about everything (I mean it - everything!!), it's particularly helpful to be able to talk about food and exercise. And those huge mirrors mean that I have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide on the weight front. I can see pretty quickly when I've gained and enjoy the thinness when I have dropped weight!


In terms of concrete, objective proof that it works....well, we do the weighing and measuring thing every now and then. Probably not as often or as systematically as I should to be honest but it is helpful to be able to look back and see exactly where I was over the last few years.


The week after I finished filming for the Sky show, I asked him to do a full set of weights and measurements to act as a fresh benchmark. My request followed on from what Steve Peters had recommended I do - have an external, objective base so that my chimp can't fool me into thinking that I'm doing okay if I'm actually straying.
Having taken skinfolds and measured etc TLH caluclated my 5 body fat at 29%. Apparently the normal/okay range is between 20 and 30% so, for a still largish lass, 29% is not too bad. We had a look back and found a previous measurement from last spring when I weighed almost exactly the same (within 1kg) but my fat % was 33%! So, I may have gained and then lost weight over the last year but I have definitely reduced the percentage of me which is fat!

I can see the change in my clothes too. I know roughly when I weighed this much over my life - it's not difficult - last spring; around the time of my wedding in 1994 and when I was at Law School in 1991/2. Looking back at photos of me from those dates I know that I was wearing a bigger size in clothes. In 1991/2 and 1994 I was a size 18, maybe a 16 in some shops or styles. Last spring a size 16 and now a 14/16! And that size 14 is not just in the "generous" shops (we all know who they are). I mean a Dorothy Perkins size 14 on top and bottom! I still have to buy 16's if the style is tight on the legs and hips, say skinny jeans but everything else is fine in a 14.

So, that truism which gets trotted out to every dieter as an excuse for not losing weight, that "maybe you've gained muscle?", might be actually true??!

I'm thanking TLH anyway: without him pressing 12.5kg weights into my hands and ordering me to knock out those shoulder presses or get on with a few hundred split squats, I would NOT be wearing sleeveless tops (due to my - what was it Peridot called them - Bingo Wings of Doom??) and my bum would be even bigger in this!!!

Monday, 17 August 2009

1 lb!!

Warning - this post may contain scenes of geese! There was something so magical about hearing and feeling the flap of geese wings flying just overhead in the evenings as they headed into the fields to roost. Stunning birds. I like this chap below staring right at the camera....looks like something out of Babe!



I saw this lot set off so managed to get my camera out in time to capture the whole flight which went right over our heads.
They reminded me of a squadron of fighter jets or something, very powerful.

Now they're coming in to land, anchors on.



Well, as you might have guessed from the heading, I lost a single lb last week. I could have been all "1lb! 1 measly lb after all that effort!! Why do I bother?? This is all too hard...." etc etc But instead I'm going down the "I'm a lb lighter than I was last week and that means that, despite having a really nice week; going out to the pub every night bar Monday and Tuesday; enjoying life to the full and eating some delicious meals with D, I managed not to gain any weight and indeed, to drop a whole lb."


That's much nicer scenario.


Back around Christmas of last year, I realised that I had gained a fair bit of the weight I lost through LL and, despite a bit of self-denial around exactly how much I had gained, I accepted that. I realised that the situation was not terminal, I was still considerably lighter than I had been at my heaviest, but that I needed to really address the "why", "what" and "how" of my eating and exercising patterns rather than just deny myself proper food and force myself to exercise.

At that time, my goal was extremely modest. I wanted to weigh less at the end of 2009 than I did at the beginning. Preferably more than a stone less but less would do. If I did this through healthy eating and "normal" living, I would have gone a long way towards learning to maintain my weight and even lose a bit and I could see a stable slimm(ish) future for me.
At that time, I turned to Beck and made a fairly sustained effort at working out what I thought about food and exercise, why I ate too much and didn't exercise, and how I might change this. I began the laborious process of monitoring my eating habits and then re-learning new healthy ones and I was having some sucess. Then, as if my magic, but actually through the good offices of Mrs Lard, the TV show fell into my lap. Through the wonders of Sky Real Lives, a highly trained and totally focussed psychiatrist (Dr Steve Peters) peered into my psyche and explained myself to me. It was wonderful. Not only that, he provided loads of helpful suggestions as to how I might deal with me and my eating and my (lack of) exercising forever.


Through the period of the show I lost a stone and a half and I got much fitter.


Then, the filming stopped and I was back on my own. The moment of truth. Have I learned anything? Have any of the lessons sunk in? Well, yes. I am a different person. I think a lot more about what I'm doing. I am more accountable and recognise that actions have consequences. I happily say no to things because now I'm only saying no to food or drink, not to comfort and happiness. Food is not as complicated as it used to be. Yes, there are still residual feelings around food, associated with treats and comfort and love, but generally, I now KNOW that food is just food and saying no to something will not cause the sky to fall in.


So, losing a lb in a week and keeping up my exercise regime while enoying life and working away is a "good thing". I don't have a timetable for losing the rest of my weight, in fact I'm pretty happy with myself as I am, so I'm just going to carry on making good choices nearly all the time, exercising and staying healthy and hopefully at the end of the year, I'll look back and think "I aced that resolution"!

Maybe next year, my New Year's Resolution will have nothing to do with weight?? I suspect it will though but there is hope for the year after....


PS. I've just been told that the show is likely to air on 6 and 7th October on Sky Real Lives. So I won't be on holiday when it goes out after all!!

Friday, 14 August 2009

Resistance is futile...

Stunning Great Crested Grebe.
Me'n'Minty




The Windmill of cormorants. Don't know why but it was the only windmill we saw covered in them...a bit spooky really.

See, definitely cormorants...

It pains me to admit it but D caught this shot....gnashing of teeth....
And this one......

St Benet's Abbey, or rather the ruins thereof which were then turned intoa a windmill - they're very keen on windmills in Norfolk!


Yesterday I was moaning about all the temptation littering my office...whinge whinge whinge. Well today I have proved that resistance is NOT futile. When your head is in the right place, it's not even that difficult. That's not to say that it's not a killer sometimes but, at the moment, I'm feeling up the task of cheerfully refusing food which I don't want and don't need!!


I had my usual sensible breakfast and then drove to work. On arrival the team who sit next to me had already ordered Friday morning breakfast butties. They did offer to put in a late order for me but I declined. Then, when the sandwiches arrived, they found an extra one mistakenly added to the order. And what was it? Only my favourite, bacon and egg with tomato sauce!! Going free. Hot and perfectly cooked. I wavered, I thought about taking it or sharing it with a colleague and then smiled wryly at my chimp who was jumping up and down and grabbing for the sandwich and said "no thanks".

Then the bunch of gits started trying to persuade me....actually chanting and wheedling, saying they would have half, showing me how lovely the sandwiches are from that shop....going on and on about it. (As an aside, can you imagine anyone doing that sort of thing to a recovering alcoholic or drug addict in rehab or someone who had just given up smoking??? But it's okay if it's food and it surrounds us every day of our lives....sigh)


But no - I stood firm and actually felt good about it. I think the key was making the decision promptly and firmly. Not fannying around and thinking about it. No internal bargaining about I'll have this and then no lunch etc etc, just said no and stuck to it. It also helped that I'd posted last night about focussing on losing weight before our hols and then had stood on the scales this morning to see the exact same weight, yet again! So, blogging, accountability and decisiveness all help in the resistance armoury.


Since then I've been a diet ninja, brushing aside the assassin highkicks of sweets, biscuits, cake. I also gave myself no excuse to avoid exercise like I did last night. I had a hair appointment this evening after work and knew that I wouldn't want to ruin the "just done" look by sweating and showering afterwards so anticipated this excuse and planned to go to the gym at lunchtime. I might still have stumbled as I was in a meeting immediately before lunch which dragged on, but no. I made my excuses and rushed off to the gym for Body Attack. It was knackering! High impact, old-fashioned aerobics with intricate routines and lots of running and jumping. I loved it!! I was not so keen on the 15 minutes of abdominals but hopefully this torture will result in a flat, toned tum in a few weeks!!


Stopped for lunch in the cafe afterwards and was pleasantly surprised to see a decent selection of salads - this is Rotherham remember, the town that lettuce forgot - so picked a tuna/sweetcorn (no mayo) salad. Then had to turn ninja again when it arrived accompanied by a lovely fluffy white roll and butter. Die roll, die!!


I did, however, give in to a Club Orange biscuit after giving blood this afternoon!! Well, a girl can only be so good - having a choccie biccie is surely the law after giving blood!!!


Putting it in context, I know that one good day will not, on its own, melt the fat from my frame but it's a move in the right direction. It gives me faith that I can do it and still have fun. Have a great weekend everyone - and remember, food isn't everything!!

Thursday, 13 August 2009

Checking in

A beautiful sunset at Ludham. Because we had to moor up early in order to get a good spot, there was plenty of time to go running or just sit out on the boat and enjoy the evening air. That evening was particularly heavenly.

This white throated duck with her brood (no idea of its proper name) and the swans patrolled the dyke seeking throwers of bread and then plagued them diligently. I was reminded of hawkers at traffic lights!

No idea what sort of bird of prey this is ( a red kite??) but I was thrilled to be able to catch it in flight! Easier said than done, believe me. Actually, I've just looked it up and still not sure but definitely not a Red Kite. Think it's either a Marsh Harrier or Rough Legged Buzzard. I may send the pics to the RSPB and ask them to identify.


Loadsa windmills; you have to guard against taking 200 shots of the same one from slightly different angles...but they are scenic.

Old Fishy-head as I took to calling her after a nasty session of rolling in a putrid, rotting dead fish in a ditch. I shampooed her vigorously with half a bottle of Radox but she still smells slightly of rotting fish if you sniff her head. Why do I keep doing it??
Our boat was the one on the far right with the fetching orange stripe. I think it would have been quite sporty if it hadn't been orange!

Me and Shelagh (I think) on a rare stint of driving the boat. D much happier driving and me much happier letting him and manning the camera instead! Still, you need some photographic evidence of your existence on holiday once in a while...


I am truly trying hard but there are so many temptations everywhere at the moment!! In our office everyone brings backs sweets, cakes or biscuits from their holidays so, this being prime holiday season, there are literally heaps of packs of sweets and other temptations littering every spare table within a 50 yard radius of my desk.


After a day yesterday when i found myself giving into temptation on a few occasions, I clamped down today only to be scuppered by the remains of D's curry when I got home this evening, late and hungry after my french class. Still, it wsn't a big portion and I didn't have the naan.....sigh....


I should do some exercise but I'm going to go to the pub instead. D is away for 3 weeks on Monday so togetherness is more important. I did go to training at 7am so it's not like I'm turning my back on it altogether.

I suppose what I'm saying is that I need to re-double my efforts. I've been exercising a lot and making mostly good choices and that has been enough to stay the same weight but, unless I really clamp down and re-focus, it will not translate into a loss and I want that loss. I want to prove that I can do it on my own and that I have changed my ways through this TV experience.


So - no wine tonight and no sweets tomorrow my girl!!

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

When will I grow up??

A few pics from our holiday(absolutely nothing to do with the post below!):

I loved all the traditional yachts. I'm sure there were more this year than when we were last on the Broads in 1992. It could be tricky to navigate past them though as they have right of way and when they're tacking wildly across backwards and forwards the river, timing can be tricky!


A lovely family of swans. the parents seemed so caring and solicitous. This mother carefully shepherded her massive family of 9 sygnets (the bigest clutch we saw) round several cruisers without mishap.



A Great Crested Grebe and its chick. It was a windy day so he or she was having a "bad crest day"!

D and his faithful co-pilot. Shelagh sat up on that bench next to him for hours.

The beautiful and very exclusive/expensive looking village of Irstead. I had a serious case of property envy here...

Minty didn't take her co-piloting duties very seriously and was too easily distracted by swallows, other boats or whatever I was doing. Tut tut.
Sometimes the sky-scapes were just gorgeous, even on a dullish day.


Hi again. When I'm in the process of re-asserting a routine, I find it helpful to post often. It keeps me thinking about what I'm doing; uses up time when I might otherwise be eating; and reminds me about all the benefits of getting and staying slim. So you'll have to put up with me a bit more than usual over the next week or so!!

I went shopping today during my lunch hour. I just wanted to find some intermediate summer/autumn clothes as I'm a bit short of jeans and t-shirt type gear, especially now that the football season is back upon us (bliss bliss bliss). I was swooshed back to my 1980's youth by a trip to Dotty P's. It's all skinny jeans in black and grey and rock chick print tops with pink, purple and royal blue accents!
But then I started to worry whether I'm too old for Dorothy Perkins? At 39 should I be acquiring discreetly expensive classics from Hobbs and Boden to go with my frosty, expensively highlighted hair and statement jewelry? Seeing as I have neither a frosty blonde bob nor expensive watch, I think I'll have to put off the fateful day when I sneak into the posh (old?!) bits of House of Fraser and buy some tailored wool trousers (possibly lined...) to go with an elegant cashmere sweater. Eeeek. That surely won't be me? But then surely I can't go around wearing punky rock chick printed t's with skinny jeans forever? It'll have to come one day.

Maybe I'll never be smart and grown up. Maybe I'll just morph from High Street teen/20's stuff straight into the country set outdoorsy stuff. Whatever happen I'll always have to find something acceptable to wear to the football; I can't see myself settling for a sensible anorak and no-name trainers! What a snob I am.

Anyway, my trip to Dotty P's reminded me how much fun I had losing weight the first time back in 2007. Then I was on Lighter Life and the lbs were dropping off me so fast that I'd go from size to size within 4 or 5 weeks. I only ever bought seasonal, cheap clothes as they wouldn't fit me in a few brief weeks' time. How confident I was then. I've acquired the habit now of buying cheap, disposable fashion and, slightly shame-facedly, I really like it. Today it was black skinny jeans, silver/grey (fake) snakeskin ballet pumps, 4 asymmetric or fitted long length t-shirts with a variety of prints or patterns. I feel young and flighty in this stuff; not staid and sensible.

I also thought that I looked quite slinky until I got back to work, checked out some rubbishy celeb website while eating my sushi and saw a picture of Anna Friel also wearing skinny black jeans. Yikes - her legs look like sticks!! Is that what we're supposed to look like in skinny jeans?? If so, I'm definitely not making the grade. Aaaah, who cares?! I like legs with some shape - I'm confident that there will NEVER be a gap between the tops of my thighs and I'm okay with that! I may have chunky knees but who's looking at my knees?

Maybe that's the answer - I'll wear trashy teenager clothes until they stop making me happy. Now, just off to hang up a poster of Daniel Craig and finish off the "Are we compatible?" multi-choice quiz in Jackie!!