Wednesday, 16 July 2014

Hectic but sticking to it

I played golf this morning in the glorious sunshine.  Heaven.  I actually played well and to my handicap for a change but just slipped up right at the end so didn't have the REALLY good round I was hoping for.  I lost by 2 shots, both of which I dropped on the very last hole by hitting my drive out of bounds!  Grrr  Still, it was pleasing to play well and not to go to pieces with a card in my hand.

And lovely to have a peaceful interlude in the fresh air without chores and places to be under pressure.  Straight after golf it was dashing home to pick up bags and pat the dogs goodbye.  Then off to sunny Lincolnshire to my parents' and an afternoon of working from home and supervising my mother while dad went shopping.  I got loads done but ended up working hard and late so I was happy that Dad cooked supper (gorgeous fresh fish from his weekly Grimsby fish man).  I picked up after that so had the energy to water the plants (just before it rained!) and put Mum to bed.

She has been sweet and playful this evening but spent the hour before bed asking to be taken "home" to Grimsby.  It must be so bewildering for her wondering why she can't go home and has to sleep in this evidently strange place (where she has lived for nearly 40 year!).  But she doesn't complain or fret(too much).  I hope she isn't distressed but hiding it.

I've since cyber stalked family on Facebook for my father's benefit, done an online shop and am now listening to the divine Anna Netrebko and Elina Garanka with my pa while tapping this out.  When selecting music to listen to I never fancy opera but when Dad plays his DVDs I remember how beautiful it is and how uplifting and wonder why I never listen to it at home.  I must not neglect it as this is stunning.

Tomorrow I will do a couple of hours' work then head down to Suffolk for the funeral after which I will drive straight home. It's going to  be a long day but we have an early start on Friday for the golf so it has to be done.  And then, with my pals arriving Saturday morning, I'm going to be shattered by Monday!! I can sleep when I get properly old (which will be soon at this rate)!

Hopefully all this dashing around will encourage the lard to melt.  A girl can dream eh?

Monday, 14 July 2014

Week 3 weigh in

My pessimism was misplaced. I managed another small drop this morning. 1.2 lbs off taking me to 16.2.8. It may be fairly glacial progress but it IS progress. That's 3 consecutive drops now. Yay me!!

If I keep up this rate of progress for the next 24 weeks, I will drop 2 stone by THAT is some contingent diet maths!!

So, I suppose all the sporting activities over last week have done the trick and helped me scrape a drop despite less than perfect eating. In gratitude for the benevolence of the scales, I went for an early morning run (well, shuffle would probably be a more accurate description to be fair). It was most uplifting, brilliant sunshine and so peaceful. Heavenly.

I hope you like the pics.

The coming week looks moderately dangerous. I've been fine today despite a TOTM inspired desire to Stuff. My. Face!! I'm holding on but I suspect that, if I had not seen a drop this morning, I would not still be holding on. Success breeds success etc

Tomorrow should be okay too. I have to drop Rich at work before 7am so I'll have plenty of time to go for a swim before heading off to Rotherham.

Wednesday is golf then off to my parents but still not bad.

Thursday though is a trek down to Suffolk for my aunt's funeral. Lovely Betty was my mum's last sibling and, at the end, she was much like mum, oblivious through dementia. She was gorgeous though, fun loving, very intelligent and a totally devoted family woman. She went downhill later than my mum, after her beloved Dennis died but until then kept active volunteering at the Citizens Advice and being the beating heart of her family.

I'm going all that way because I was very fond of her and also in the hopes of staying in touch with my cousins now that the older generation is dwindling.

Then it's a dash all the way home because on Friday we're going to The Open!! (That's The Open Golf Championship at Hoylake.) Rich was given free tickets and miraculously we've managed at short notice to take advantage of them. I'm so excited! We're going to be seeing our golfing heroes in action. Pray for fine weather. I don't want another day in the pouring rain like when we went to the Ryder Cup at Celtic Manor 4 years ago. We saw about 12 shots and left soaked and muddied up to the eyeballs!!

So the danger days are Thursday and Friday. There's not much I can do about Thursday apart from try to exercise restraint. Friday I will prepare a picnic and we will be walking for hours...fingers crossed that will be enough.

I have my school pals over for a walking weekend on Saturday and Sunday too. It's all go. We're planning on a proper walk with picnic. More activities. Please let this be the key. L xx

Heaviest in 2014 - 16.7.4

Drop this week - 1.2

Current weight - 16.2.8

Total drop - 4.6

Saturday, 12 July 2014

Photos from Langkawi- Kelim Geoforest Park

While on Langkawi, we managed to drag ourselves off the beach and golf courses long enough to go on a boat trip in the mangroves.  It was fascinating and very beautiful.  The guide was a tiny Malaysian girl who looked about 12 but must have been in her early 20s as this was her first job. She made mangroves seem very interesting and had a sharp eye for wildlife so what could have been a banal spin round the waterways became a genuinely interesting trip.

I cannot imagine spending a day in the baking sun in a boat while covered from tip to toe in black. Peering at the natural beauty through a slit or gauze.  Blegh!  Lots of Saudi money but no freedom.

A stately Monitor lizard.  I have no clue how the guide spotted it along the mangrove roots.  maybe it is always in that spot??

A long tailed Macaque monkey chewing on a Mangrove root. She was comical.

A fish eagle.  There were loads of Brahminy Hawks and eagles but it was very tricky to take decents pics of them and I didn't do very well at it. Need to go back to the classroom for a refresher re wildlife photography I think.

A series of Brahminy Hawks coming down to feed on scraps thrown from the Saudi ladies' boat.  Our guide didn't approve of it but, hey, we still got to see this thrilling sight!!

A trio of nursing mothers chatting with their offspring. Look at the baby in the middle having a total drama queen hissy fit!!

I thought this guy was going to step onto the boat to see if we had anything for him.  Luckily he stopped short and just posed nicely for me.

A marina, fish farm and floating restaurant in a hidden valley.  It was gorgeous.

Out to sea on the way home.

I like this one of us.  Must try to remember to swap it for the nasty one in a frame at Rich's mum's!!

Shaky but clinging on

Despite all the activities of the week, I haven't really pushed on this week.  I've swum and played golf, walked the dogs and done chores.  But I've also eaten those little extras which can ruin a decent weight loss.  So, Monday's weigh in is not looking good but I'm going to keep trying and you never know.  I'm not expecting a gain (or not a big one) but any drop at all will be good.

It's been a fun but thoughtful week.  I finally pulled Rich up for not paying me enough attention last weekend.  I struggle with expressing myself in a potentially confrontational way which is probably a hangover from the Diarmuid years.  However, I'm learning that, although Rich is not perfect and doesn't exactly welcome this sort of stuff, he does listen and does change his behaviour too (eventually). Maddeningly, he will not really engage in the conversation.  He listens to me,denies that there is a problem then shuts down but I know from experience that he is taking it in and will usually respond so there's not much point in demanding a big showdown or anything.

The problem is that I think he takes me for granted and he thinks that, as I know he loves me, he doesn't need to be saying it all the time.  I agree, he doesn't but he does need to show me through his actions, the little things and not prioritise everything else in front of me for too long.  This issue has cropped up periodically over the last few years and I'm getting better at not brooding over it but just letting him know but I still have away to go.

So, the upshot is that he has been lovely this week.  Back to normal again.  He is such a bloke though.  When he has other things on his mind (in this case problems at his golf club - the captain ran off with everyone's deposits for a weekend away and seems to have disappeared, the fool) he forgets about everything else, hence the taking me for granted thing.

When I feel loved and secure, I find it a lot easier to get on with things.  Like today, Rich has been away all day at golf for President's Day.  I understand this.  I had the same yesterday at my club as it happens (got a surprise third prize!).  So it has not been a problem.  However, if he had not been loving and attentive all week, I would have felt left out and neglected. Perceptions eh.

It has been a productive day.  My old school friends are coming to visit next weekend so on top of the usual Saturday chores, I spent most of the day clearing out the spare bedroom, painting the ceiling, potting on various leggy plants, tending to my patio pot plants and just generally tidying up.  I knew such chores were on the cards this morning so, in order to make sure that I did some exercise, I went for a swim first thing.  This was an excellent plan as I managed 40 lengths (1.2 km) in the beautiful, blue sky sunshine, my best so far this summer.  By the time I'd finished with chores for the day, I didn't have any energy left so just took the dogs up to the swallow field and let them run around like mad things for 40 minutes or so, finishing up with a cooling swim.

Tomorrow I'm back to my golf again.  It's our Summer Meeting mixed comp and I'm playing with the junior captain which should be interesting.  Apparently he hits it a mile and so do I but we can both be a bit wild.  We could be discovering new areas of the course!!

(Still thinking of you Peridot!!  Chin up chuck.)


Monday, 7 July 2014

Week 2 Weigh In

I was NOT hopeful at all about this morning's weigh-in.  Not. At. All.  Last time I stepped on the scales (Thursday) the previous week's weight loss had been reversed and things were not looking good.  Since then we have been away for the weekend and we drank rather a lot.  Not oodles but more than a usual weekend.

So, I was extremely pleased and relieved to see a drop.  1.2lbs off taking me to 16.4.0.  I'm on m way now - 2 consecutive weeks' of dropping the lard.  A start has been made.

The weekend turned out to be pretty good.  We went over to my parents' place near Lincoln with Rich's dad and stepmum.  It was a bit risky  - mixing the parents for 2 whole nights, especially with my mum not being all there and dad having to care for her.  But it worked really well.  Friday night I cooked of course and then we went down to my Dad's local for his usual Friday night session with his pals.

Saturday we headed off to the Waddington Airshow in the cold, pouring rain.  Aaaargh.  Luckily the weather reports were accurate and the rain soon lightened and then disappeared within an hour.  Although the cloud cover stayed reasonably low so some of the displays were altered accordingly, we had a lot of blue sky and sunshine.  So much so that Rich's head has turned a fetching shade of tomato'ey brown/red and my cleavage has a reddish stripe across it.

It was a great day.  Sitting around eating picnic treats (healthy obvs) and supping beers while watching planes and helicopters whiz around the sky.  I spent a lot of time taking photos and trying to keep up with the big boys with their jumbo lenses (often in cammo) and tripods.  I've waded through all 779 (gulp) of my pics now and I've got some good 'uns.  I'm determined this year to have a couple of the good ones blown upon canvas rather than just thinking about it.  We have the wall space now - yay!

Saturday evening Carolyn and I worked together to whip up a roast beef with all the trimmings which always makes my dad happy and we collapsed onto the sofa in front of the footie knackered after a full day of fresh air.  Love it.

Sunday was much more relaxed.  Leisurely drive back home.  We had been intending to head into Sheffield to catch part of the Tour de France but Rich's sunburn was not great and we just couldn't face the effort so I took the dogs out on the hills for an hour or so (see pics below) and then we settled down in front of the telly for a few hours of cycling-in-Yorkshire (and Derbyshire) action.  How brilliant was it??

I suppose, looking back, I've not pigged out and we've been very active so I'll definitely take that 1.2lbs.  But this coming week I'm going to knuckle down and stick to the routine because we all know that you cannot "get away with it" 2 weeks in a row.  It will be a week of golf alternating with swimming.  Golf this morning (we won!), swimming tomorrow before work, golf Wednesday, swimming Thursday morning and then more golf on Friday, swimming/chores/gardening Saturday and yet more golf on Sunday.  And of course, don't forget the dog walks.  Bring it on!!

Heaviest this year - 16.7.4
Drop this week - 1.2
Current weight - 16.4.0
Total drop - 3.4

Thursday, 3 July 2014

The scales, stubborn they are.

So, once again, I feel as though I've been trying really hard this week, but do realise that, as the scales have not budged AT ALL in 4 days, I'm probably not quite doing as much as I can.  The clue could be found in the large bottle of Bulmers to my right.

I am exercising moderately every day (golf, swimming, dog walking and running) and having salad for lunch.  I've hardly eaten bread in days.  All in all, I've been pretty good but not quite good enough.  I am avoiding nearly all office treats but crucially, not all.

Having read Seren's very focussed and sensible last post, though, I am trying to stay in the zone. She pointed out that there are 24 weeks left until Christmas.  As long as I stick to it, and get better at the snack avoidance, I could drop at least a lb a week which means I could be nearly 2 stones lighter by Christmas.  PROVIDED I stick to it!!!

No more diet maths's far too early for that sort of caper.  A woman can dream though. And dreams do help you stay on it.  (At least in week 2 they do.)

As you can probably tell from me blathering on about how rubbish my diet is, not much else is going on in my life at the mo.  An endless round of work (still covering for sick colleagues and getting further behind with my own stuff), chores (not touching the decorating or garden, just struggling to keep on top of everyday stuff) and diet and exercise.  We are going away this weekend though.  Over to my parents with Rich's dad and stepmum.  We're off to the Waddington Airshow on Saturday and we're praying for good weather.  I'm taking a picnic so I''m going to do my best to limit treat based damage but there will be drinks on Friday night in my dad's local. Should be a good nigth as I like Dad's pals and hopefully Gordon and Carolyn will too.

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

A bit shaken

I've sorted through lots of my Malaysia pics and posted a few albums of these to facebook. This got me flicking through photos on my phone. I then noticed that my Blogger account has synched with my phone so that I can see loads of old photos from this blog in the Gallery on my phone.

I was idly flicking through a couple of these albums and found myself back in 2007, the year it all began and the year I followed Lighter Life. As well as photos of a rapidly shrinking me, there were photo snapshots of my weekly tickers. These showed my weight heading downwards steadily - oh frabgious days.... At a certain point I saw some photos which approximated to how I thought I look now. I checked the nearest ticker, added up the lbs and realised with horror that I'm actually nearly 2 stone heavier than that!!!

Eeeek. In other words, I'm seriously lardy and have body dysmorphia issues to boot.

This has GOT to stop and the extra lard must be banished. It's all motivation but what a slow process.

I'm golfing tonight and tomorrow morning and running and swimming often. Surely this will help??!

The picture below is my starting point. I'm only 3.5 stone lighter than that now having dropped nearly 9 stone!! Double eeeek. BTW, I'm not beating myself up here. Just want to make sure my chimp cannot hide from the truth and try and harness her determination in this next stage of the game.