One thing that is very noticeable is how much healthier we all look. Brighter skin, shinier hair, more colour in our cheeks and of course slimmer. Markedly better than the pasty faced individuals who shuffled through the doors 9 weeks ago!
The exercise this evening was to do with a complicated triangle between Perscutors, Rescuers and Victims. It took a while for it to sink in with me but I think what she was getting at was that we need to take control of the role we play rather than being pushed into one against our will. For example, choosing not to always be the rescuer (ie. pick up everyone else's slack) and let people take responsibilty for themselves. Or, if you are habitually rescued, choose to take responsibility for yourself and not hid away from difficult choices etc. The relevance of all this to being fat is that,often, if you're pushed into an inappropriate or unpleasant role we use food as a solace or escape. So if we always do the rescuing, and no-one rescues us, we might turn to food as a comfort. etc etc.
I found it a bit tricky to follow as I don't naturally fall into any one of the 3 categories but flit between them depending upon circumstance. I do recognise though, that I'm taking a lot more responsibility for myself and that food is not enering into my choices where it might have done before. I suppose the trick is recognising the danger points when we come to start eating again.
Certainly the balance of power in my relationship with D has shifted to a much more healthy equilibrium as I get more powerful and he is happier for that to be the case, which is happening as the weight drops off. I can't say that I'm happy that my weight was such an issue between us but it was and I have to deal with that. It has left scars but I can feel them healing over with time.
So, that's all very deep but helpful to have that outlet for assessing behaviour and trying to work out how to change etc. One thing is very certain, there are a lot of games being played every day and the more you recognise them for what they are the less likely you are to fall for the seductive charms of food or other sops and false friends.
So, from the subline to the ridiculous - I dug out my mini trampoline this evening in a desperate attempt to burn off a last few ounces before my weigh in (how sad is that?!)and bounced up and down on it waving my arms in the air for 25 minutes to Richard & Judy. The dog is convinced I'm mad now and refuses to talk to me when I'm doing it but it is bloody good exercise and great for those rainy evenings when a walk or run is not on. Just need to crack the fitball and the resistance band now to tone up those saggy arms etc. It'll come...