Friday, 21 November 2008

Tired - busy day

The only picture I managed to get of a male kudu not hiding behind the bushes. Magnificent isn't he?

I love these mucky chaps. Apparently buffalo can be very dangerous and unpredictable but I thought they just looked like muddy cows!

Another gorgeous crew of elephants at a waterhole..I could have watched them all day.

This lone male was fantastic. Slightly excitable as he was in "must" and therefore on the lookout for a female (with no chance of getting one as he's only around 25 so not old enough, poor lad). We watched him for a while and then he walked so close to the vehicle on my side that I had to bring my arm into the jeep. Then he stopped level with me and stared right into my about shiver down your spine time.

Well, I've been very busy over the last few days and feel a bit jaded. The diet is not the cause though. If anything, it is helping me keep my energy levels up. It is also helping me from turning to food as I'm sure I would have done were it not for the certainty of being on a regime.

My weigh in went very well last night. I'm trying to keep away from numbers and my obsession with them so I'm not going report actual weights and measures though, sorry. I didn't find out what I weigh anyway, merely what I lost.

The class was very helpful too although there is one woman who tends to dominate (isn't there always...). We were talking about resistance to change which I remember we covered in Foundation. I was surprised how resistant I still am to the thought of permanently giving up certain foods. I can go through all the pro's and con's and logically accept that it will make me happier and healthier but, when it comes down to it, I don't ever want to say a final no to certain things. The Counsellor suggested that I don't then, that it might be a more general resistance to denying myself and cutting off possibilities and that I should reframe and try to limit the foods rather than denying them completely. This makes sense although I know some people do totally cut out certain things forever. Like giving up smoking, I imagine there's a certain "freedom" to knowing you just can't have it.

Anyway, with this going on in the background, I found myself having a conversation with 2 women from my team at work this morning about treats and chocolate. Both are extremely slim and look like they've never had to diet a day in their lives. (One is a part time dance instructor and the other a former model!) It surprised me how much they talked about "treats" and "denying themselves" and "resisting". Both agreed between themselves (I was listening more than talking in this conversation!) that it was not a good idea to deny yourself as it only made you want it more. Both used distraction techniques to avoid eating too much and both had a little taste of something to avoid a bigger binge later.

Hmmmm, interesting. So it comes down to whether you trust yourself to stop I suppose.

Anyway, apart from a small foray to the snack table which I'm quite annoyed with myself about, I've not done too badly today. I know that this type of tiredness is a trigger for me and could feel myself formulating excuses to eat as I drove home. But, I came straight up here to blog rather than heading to the kitchen and think that I'll be strong enough to stick to the plan. Weird how all the coping strategies come back to you isn't it? I'm rusty but getting there.

Exercise is a bit thin on the ground though. I'm managing to go to personal training twice a week and that is about it. Sometimes you have to accept that work does intrude on life but I'm going to make a big effort to do something nice tomorrow. Either a leisurely jog or a walk, depending on the weather of course.

Good luck over the weekend everyone.

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