Tuesday, 18 November 2008

So far so good

I apologise for the gore but maybe you might find the image helpful when trying to avoid eating too much. This is a female black backed jackal chowing down on the putrid carcass of a large male kudu in a water hole. Tasty eh? Our guide said the kudu would probably have been killed by hyenas.

We saw several jackals while we were there and they were normally incredibly shy and very fast. My other photos were just blurry blobs heading into the scrub. This one was really strange. Once she had finished her fine dining, she moseyed around, totally aware of us and gradually made her way up the slope to the low wall on which we were standing (we were at one of the few places where you're allowed to get out of your vehicle).

She stared right at us and then slowly wandered off. It was magical. Even our guide was holding his breath and said he had never seen that happen before.

This is my last photo of her. You can see how close she was as I couldn't go back any further without falling off the wall so it's a bit blurry!

I worked from home today as I had a document to review. It can be a bit of a trial as the house is very quiet and there's always the temptation to snack. I have been a bit peckish too but think that is because I started the day with personal training. Despite that, I've been pretty good and stuck to my plan fairly closely.
I suppose I may as well 'fess up that SW was not really for me. After a few days of eating too many carbs and having too large portions, I started feeling sluggish and worrying about what this was teaching me for the future post-diet.
I had loads of packs left over so I've started a hybrid. Kind of like the first couple of weeks of RTM, 2 or 3 packs a day with a protein and veg meal. Milk in teas and coffees but no fruit or other snacks allowed. Occasionally I've done 4 packs a day if I'm in a hurry or don't have any food in.
I've also started going back to my Lighter Life Management class. I know I said I wouldn't race back into abstinence or onto the packs (or something very close to it) but, having started SW with all the right motivation but not really enjoyed the actual diet or got much from the classes, I thought maybe this time I was in the right frame of mind to make LL work for me.
So the plan is, that I will be strict with myself for the next 4 or 5 weeks and, thereafter, loosen up for Christmas but continue to go to classes and not go too mad so I don't undo my hard work for the sake of a few mince pies. Then, depending how I feel in January, I might go back to what I'm doing now or just carry on with Management.
The key thing is that, whatever I do, whether SW or LL, I do it wholeheartedly and carry on going to classes even if things are not going so well. In the past, when I've had a bad week, I've sometimes not gone to class saying that I'll catch up next week and not have the depression of knowing that I've gained. Totally counter-productive as I usually have an even worse week the following week and that is the beginning of the end for that diet.
Not this time.
I've made a pledge to go every Thursday night until Christmas and then rethink thereafter. I don't want to make the promise too big and overwhelming, hence the short timescale.
I hope you don't think I was being "economical with the truth" because I didn't mention LL before. I did go to SW and did make a start but then could feel that it wasn't for me. I had every intention of sticking it out when I saw a Lighter Life magazine in a newsagent one lunchtime and it just clicked that that is what I wanted to do. So I started on my old packs and rang my LLC that day and went to the first class on Thursday.
Luckily she had a class for refreshers just starting so it is a bit like Foundation in that there are 8 of us who have all committed to 4 weeks. It seems like a good group. Everyone has done Foundation and is now back wanting to lose some of what they have regained. That sounds a bit depressing but no-one has put anywhere near all their weight back on. Most people just want a bit of help in the run up to Christmas to get back on track and make sure they don't go crazy at Christmas.
I think not knowing my weight has been a big help too. I know I had slapped on a fair few lbs since we came back from SA abut the actual number would have depressed and angered me. This way is much better. Also, instead of spending ages getting on and off the scales in the morning and using the result to dictate my mood and bargaining with myself about whether I can snack or not, I just don't know how I'm getting on so I don't snack. It is hard to resist the siren scales but really helpful that I do, at least for now.
Anyway, I've waffled a bit here. Sorry. I'll try and be a bit more snappy next time...


Ameythist said...

Hey Lesley have you changed your Email address? I keep getting bounce backs saying your quota is full?

Good luck on your decision We go with what works!

Luv Ameythist xxx

Isabelle said...

Hi Lesley. Sorry to have slipped off your list but thanks for putting me back on it! 8 stone! How fantastic. What amazing photos (but I don't like the gruesome one...)

Peridot said...

Hi honey

Hmmm, food for thought (the only type with zero calories!). I don't want to go back to LL but it is tricky as it's the only thing that's ever worked. I was quite keen on finding out about SW - but that was because I thought it was a low carb option. I have to sort myself out though and as usual your positivity is inspiring.

Peridot x