Midsummer evening

Midsummer evening

Saturday, 25 August 2007

Day 227 - Saturday is tricky

It's been a strange day. I was up early for my hair appointment and had a fantastic time there - how weird is that? I think of haircuts as awkward - all that time spent staring at yourself in the mirror is not great when your face is round and moon like! Now though I was chatting to my new hairdresser and really happy with the cut she gave me a few weeks ago. The only trouble is how fast it grew out - shaggy in less than 5 weeks! So, we had a good chat about life and weight and kids and all sorts and she chopped away. We then decided to dry it straight which I haven't done for ages. I didn't used to like it much - firstly it took so long when I had long hair and secondly, I didn't like the overall effect as, with a large body, I think you need lots of hair to balance it out - otherwise I thought I looked like a pinhead!

This time though, with my new short cut, it looked fab!! When it's straight, it's a bit like Victoria Beckham's cut although obviously not blonde and not perched on top of Skeletor's body!! I had my big shades in my bag and I was away!! Loved it.

I was really looking forward to showing it off tonight in the pub but, because the cut was so early this morning, it has already kinked and is not looking as good as it did this monring - shame! I'll try and smooth it down but don't have any straighteners (not being a girly girl) so think it'll be a compromise at best.

Then a bit of shopping - picked up 6 items in M&S and bought 5 of them (although one is going back, to be fair). What a result. Skinny shopping is AMAZING.

Wacthed a fantastic Zimbawean singing and dancing group in the shopping street (part of some Sheffield Festival of Culture of something). They were singing that unaccompanied African harmonic stuff, just clapping and singing and harmonising with about 8 male voices. While they were singing one or 2 of them would dance and it was so simple but just great - so vibrant and such a gorgeous, mellow sound. Took me back to my youth in Nigeria. I was, unfairly, a bit frustrated by how straight-laced we Brits are. Although I could tell that the crowd was really enjoying it, there was planty of applause and whistling after each dancer finished his bit etc, but no-one joined in the clapping or danced even a little. I suppose that's the way we are. I'm sure in other countries the crowd would have joined in more. I certainly wanted too but then I'm not typically British!

Then back home and picked up the keys to the holiday cottage which we completed on yesterday on the way back. Then out to my friends Martin and Shelley's place to see what they're up to and see if they wanted to check the cottage out with me. Shelley was in the middle of a 3-4 hour hair and nails appointment (much to Martin's incomprehension) so it was just Martin and I. The cottage is as lovely as I remembered it (thank God!) and, better still, it's totally furnished and ready for guests, right down to pictures on the wall, sheets on the bed, crockery and cleaning products in the cupboards! Everything you would expect in a holiday cottage is there - amazing.

The area is lovely and peaceful too so I was reassured that we've done the right thing.

After that - I was meant to be doing chores and preparing for a car boot sale tomorrow but couldn't get into it. Couldn't settle to anything. In the end I just got up and called the dog to go for a walk - anything just to get something done. I was intending a quickish walk round the fields (about half an hour) but ended up trying a new route across the golf course and back along the river. The dog was in seventh heaven with all the new smells and the walk was a good long one - about 90 minutes over hill and dale and including several swims for pooch. I really enjoyed it but by the time I got back it was too late to do the car boot stuff and my hair was frazzled (boo, hiss) and I still felt unsettled.

So, what did I do? Had my third food pack with a drink and spoke to D on the phone - good. Watched some telly - good. Sorted some books for the car boots NEXT weekend now - good.

Then that wasn't enough for some reason so ate a small can of tuna with cucumber and a teaspoon of mayo, about 3 tblsns of dry Alpen and 2 tblspns of vanilla icecream. - v. bad! I'm pissed off that, after 3 perfect days, I have succumbed to eating but am reasonably pleased that at least I ate properly. I will not have my 4th foodpack now and, what I ate, wasn't bad. I did enjoy it; it wasn't furtive cheating, eating. I feel full now and I've come up to here to get it all off my chest and make sure that I don't go downstairs to the kitchen hunting up more trouble. Compared to my bingy eating of last week this was totally different. I'm not pleased with it but it was at least controlled and reasonable stuff.

I remember the last time I went off the rails was in 2 evenings when D had just gone away. I felt at a loose end and unsettled/lonely. I realise that's what I feel now. I'm going to see my mates tonight in the pub but nothing is arranged so it may be a bit of a scramble. D is away and everyone else has their other halves around them. So I've turned to food. Not in a terribly self-destructive way but defiantly contrary to my big push this week. It's not great but at least I have learned from the experience. I MUST arrange company for the holiday weekends and not leave myself vulnerable to this feeling.

Still - I'll rustle up some chums for tonight's bonanza, sort my hair out and get out there in my new skinny jeans (if they'll go on after the tuna-LOL!) and all this angst will be forgotten.

Ready to re-commence the 10 day challenge afresh this evening.

I gather from the blogging silence that everyone is having a busy BH weekend. Be good!!

4 comments:

Cath said...

The good thing about the eating today is that you've realised that there's a pattern to it, you now know what it is that pushes you towards food. Don't worry about it - what you've eaten is food that will hopefully leave you in ketosis..... now move onwards to the next few days.

Glad you like your hair, it's lovely to hear the happiness in your 'voice' when you talk about looking at yourself and the way you feel about yourself - very inspiring.

Hope you've had yourself a great night out!

Cath
xx

In search of me said...

Look forward to seeing the new hair. Hang in there girl! You're almost at the end! "go Lesley"..live the piccies wih S on the rock!! Beautiful hound she is!

Mrs said...

Dear Lesley

My LLC would congratulate you on the insight you got from your Tuna deviation!

And I think you have too - you've identified a big trigger - just see it as a hole you have to walk round in the future (I know you love the poem).

The other thing I am wondering is if it was a bit of crooked thinking at the end - you sounded so happy, you'd achieved so much and then just when you 'relax', crooked thinking sneaks in. I am trying to get my head round this now.

But as you identify, you ate well.

In the meantime, CONGRATULATIONS - you've bought a new house/business opportunity! How wonderful is that?!

And like the others, can't wait to see the new hair!!!

Big push,now, Lesley for the final hurdle. You can do it! And just see last night as an opportunity to learn!

Big kiss from the sleepy South West!

Mrs Lxxxxxxxx

Leigh Russell said...

you look great in your photos - not being weird here, I'm a middle aged mum.
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