Monday, 30 July 2007
New Start 27 (ii) - BBQ
Went to Martin and Shelley's for a BBQ and took packs etc. I was being good and dutiful and drinking my water and black coffee when I got too cold. When everyone else was just about to eat, I discovered that their microwave wasn't working so couldn't make soup or muffin and I hadn't brought anything else with me. I know I could have made it with the kettle or sat and eaten nothing and a few weeks ago that's what I would have done but, on Saturday night out with friends and feeling slim and happy, I just didn't want to!! It all seemed a bit artificial as the 3 other women there were all heavier than me and not dieting so it seemed strnage me making a big thing about sticking to my diet while they ate....crooked thinking I know but thre you go. I did go into it with my eyes open.. (Chapter 3 of the poem there Mrs!!)
So I ate real food again and enjoyed a glass of red wine. I didn't have bread or potatoes, just meat and salad (which was delicious) and refused all of the gorgeous looking cakes etc so didn't feel too bad. It has given me a taste of how I'm going to cope with eating out when I finish. It was a lovely evening too.
The trouble is - I'm not quite there even if I feel as though I am. I haven't reached my target yet and, if I don't, I know I'll regret it forever and all this eating/cheating is merely delaying my getting there. So, much as I am enjoying myself and not really beating myself up about the eating/cheating, it is a pain and I must get back to dieting ways again.
So, after a pretty ropey weekend foodwise, I'll be back on track come Monday!! And jogging like a mad thing!!