Midsummer evening

Midsummer evening

Friday, 20 February 2009

I sick...

The start of a doggie race from our walk last Saturday. I walk down the hill to get in position for photos while D holds back the slathering hounds. Then he lets them go!!

Minty winning...come on Shelagh!
No, Minty has youth and stupidity on her side...

But, what's this? She's taken a wrong turn!!



I can't lie to you, Shelagh definitely brought up the rear!

It's been a bad year for me being ill. I have had more than my usual quota of coughs and colds this winter and now I've got a new and exciting lurgy - horrible roiling stomach pains, like stomach ache and time of the month ache rolled into one, combined with shivery high temperature. No noticeable cough or cold. It's a strange one alright.

I felt terrible at work yesterday, on 2 occasions I was speaking with a colleague (different ones)when I was seized with a nasty stomach cramp and just had to stop talking and moan quietly for a few seconds (which is a bit embarrassing to say the least). And then last night it just got worse and worse until I was sitting wrappd up in front of the fire with fleece and blanket burning up yet feeling freezing cold. It was horrible, teeth chattering and sweating.


I think the fever spiked last night 'cos I feel much better now and just have the remnants of the stomach ache and a tired, achy body. What a wuss I am. Anyway, sorry for the moan, I just feel sorry for myself this morning and wanted to whinge to someone.


I'm not going into work and I had already booked Monday off so this is the beginning of a long weekend!! I hope I feel up for some fun soon.
On the positive side, last night, while in the grips of sickness, I didn't turn to food for comfort. I know you're not meant to feel hungry with a fever (or is that the cold?) but my modus operandi is always to try and self-medicate away any bad feeling with food, whether it be emotional hurt or physical discomfort. Last night, I had a small supper, a pear and a milky coffee, all of which were on my food plan. As the evening wore on and I started to feel really bad, I did wander into the kitchen a few times on the hunt for "something" but didn't give in to either the toast or biscuits which were on offer, or even take a consolation prize of a pear which might have been my fallback position pre-Beck.


I must have been feeling terrible though as I got as far as taking the loaf of bread out of the bread crock and holding it for a few seconds while I wrestled with my Beck mantras before summoning the strength to stuff it back and and leave the room. That hasn't happened for weeks now!


I've also felt incredibly fat over the last few dys. I think it must be a combination of the time of month and this stomach cramp thing but my stomach has felt like a football and I've not shifted a single lb all week despite being pretty good and doing loads of exercise. I suspect this contributed to my wobble yesterday about wanting to rush back to the world of quick fixes. Hopefully, when this phase is over, I'll see a small loss and that will restore my faith in the world again!

Personal training yesterday morning was awful - I didn't at that stage know that I was ill so couldn't understand why I felt so rubbishy and weak. We did loads of aerobic stuff as I'd done a heavy weight session at the gym the night before and, as I was running on the treadmill, I just felt like a giant achy stomach on legs! Whinge whinge, moan moan....


I'll stop now. But I've reminded myself that, just because I'm not feeling great, there's no need to eat more. Food is not the answer, unless the question is "what is my problem?".

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