Thursday, 12 February 2009

Habits can be broken.....dammit!

I've run out of snowy photos for now so I found some I took the weekend before the big freeze up on Bamford Edge. it was gorgeous but a bit hazy.

Minty admiring the view.......she has a bad habit of standing very near to the drop which tends to make me nervous as she's not right bright... (as they say round here!)

Me and the lovely Shelagh on self-timer

I've no idea what they were doing in the bracken but they were at it for ages...just their waggy tails popping out . I hope they weren't terrorising some poor little critter in there!

Minty looking noble and beautiful for once...what a hound she is!

You know I said I was going to try and break the mold and NOT row with D as soon as he gets back off the rig? Well, that's going well. I feel much more relaxed and less defensive than I have for the last few trips and it shows.

But - I also want to eat more than I have for the last few days. I think Diarmuid being around has triggered me to want to comfort eat. Bizarre I know. He went up to the pub 20 minutes or so ago and, ever since, I've been desperate to go and have some totally unnecessary snack.
Beck says I should read my cards - done - and call my diet coach (who I haven't appointed yet - bad Lesley!). So, instead, I came up here to blog it out.

All I can think is that, because we've had a lot of stress about my weight and eating in the past, often when he first gets back from the rig, I associate D leaving the house with a release of tension and therefore want to turn to food. Sad eh? Anyway, it's daft because there has been no tension. D is very tired and not quite back on days but it's been very chilled so the desire for food can only be some sort of habit hangover from the past. And it WILL be broken!

I prepared my menu for today and have hardly complied with it at all. That's not to say that I've done badly or anything, just that circumstances conspired against me. I had to substitute sushi for my usual salad at lunch but fewer calories so no downside there. I gave myself credit for resisting buying something else which I wanted to do as the sushi "looked smaller" than my salad! I was actually worried that I might be hungry! So, actually in the queue in Boots, I reminded myself about the Beck hunger exercise and how the sushi would be plenty and, even if it wasn't, it wasn't the end of the world and talked myself out of the madness quick smart.

Then I didn't go to my french class because of the snow so didn't have my budgeted cappucino and fruit snack but came home instead, leading to a whole different evening menu - salmon salad instead of chicken stir fry. But I've kept to the basics and not added anything. Resisted biscuits at work despite everyone chowing down on a new pack of chocolate digestives! Big pat for that!

So Beck can be flexible but the idea of having a plan is helpful. One of the difficulties I'm finding is remembering all the different techniques to apply. That's where the reading and re-reading will come in handy and the response cards too. Some things though are almost second nature even now, like always eating sitting down and eating slowly and deliberately. It's quite rare that I have to remind myself to do those. The cravings and portion control are probably harder and I still forget to praise myself during the day when I make a good choice. I remember here when I'm blogging but not as I'm moving through the day. I'll get there.

Anyway, I'm a bit waffley tonight but it's served it's purpose; I'm a lot calmer about the snacking thing now and am NOT going to give in. Hope you have a good evening too.


smellyshelley said...

Maybe you should plan your snacks...set aside some snacks that are okay so when you have a snack urge you have something you can reach for and still be okay. Good job hanging in there!

Peridot said...

What a great post. So thoughtful and your actions are so considered - I am in awe.

And the dogs are WAY cute (as I believe our transatlantic cousins say!) and the countryside is beautiful. Personally I think Minty is doing her Elizabeth Bennett impression from the BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice!

Hope you have a good weekend with D.

Peridot x

C said...

You live in such a beautiful area. I love the pictures.

Mrs said...

Excellent progress, Mrs D!

I think you can say you have had a really good week. "Great job"!!!! Tee hee!!

The other things will come, they really will.

Have a lovely weekend.

Big kiss.

Mrs Lxxxxxxxxxxx