Thursday, 27 September 2012
Day 11 of SWTOMG
The morning combo of cold shower, black coffee and 30 minute morning POM is making me somewhat reflective as well as giving me time to reflect so bear with me. Today's reflection is on the subject of Diet Giddiness!
I know you'll all know this feeling. You know the one. You've just started a new diet plan and it's working and you feel so excited and full of anticipation. You're buzzing and, as you walk around, you're having conversations in your head about how much weight you're going to drop, what clothes you'll be able to fit into and how good you're going to look and feel at the upcoming Christmas party/wedding/summer holiday.
Well, that's me at the moment. I'm mentally planning to drop 2 if not 3 stone and fit into that gorgeous black and pink chinese embroided halter neck dress last worn to Craig and Angela's wedding in the summer of 2008. I will also be able to access a STACK of walking trousers, jeans, tops, work gear and going out stuff. At the moment I'm living in a very limited wardrobe as I have been unwilling to buy anything in the larger size I'm currently inhabiting. As clothes wear out or get mucked up (I'm a proper Pigpen!) I either do not replace them or replace them with the cheapest I can get away with. I just do NOT want to spend money on clothes for my current frame.
BUT, as I drop weight and shrink I will get more interested in clothes once more and will have the fun of re-acquainting myself with old friends from years gone by. So, I'd better get on with the shrinking. If I can drop a stone relatively quickly dressing for Christmas parties will be a whole lot more fun!
What is totally different now is that I do not have, as an element of my excitement, the thought that, once I drop X amount of weight, my other half will start to fancy me and treat me nicely!! I don't have that because my other half ALREADY fancies me and already treats me nicely, as he should. Of course, when I think about being able to fit into shorter shorts and flimsier summer dresses I think about going on nice holidays with Rich, but I know I will still go on those holidays anyway, whatever I'm wearing. I also reflect that, last time I dropped a huge amount of weight (9 stone back in 2007) it didn't make any real difference to how I was treated by my other half at that time. So now, the excitement IS all about clothes and health and relatively superficial things like that, not about whether I will be able to save my marriage by dropping poundage. And that makes me extremely excited, for all the right reasons.
As an aside, I was curious about weights etc so had a flick through my old SW books and discovered that the last time I weighed what I weigh now (after my 5lb drop) was briefly in May (although I suspect I have dipped down to it from time to time since). Before that it was January 2012 and before that it was August 2011!
So, I can see that I have been fannying around treading water weightwise for a looooong time. But, looking for the positives, it also shows that I'm able to control my weight to within smaller parameters as, although I haven't dropped much, I haven't been more than 5 or 6 lbs over that weight either in that time!
So, if I can just DROP some weight, I will be better equipped to keeping it off. longterm