Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Eyes Wide Open

I'm going through one of those phases of my life where I feel like I'm living fully in the moment. Everything is full-on and I'm engaged and conscious. It's pleasing to notice this as usually I only notice the periods of my life when I'm exisiting in a bit of a fog. I seem able to appreciate how good life is, make plans, address problems and tackle chores. I'm not saying everything is perfect but I have clarity and focus for a change rather than fog and sloth.

Could it be partly as a result of my changed diet? I'm certainly eating less sugar, bread and drinking less alcohol, all of which are meant to cause sugar spikes, dehydration and bloating. I don't generally notice those symptons to be fair, except when I've really overdone it but this could be a contributory factor. Then there's the cold shower and black coffee in the mornings and the morning POM all of which must wake me up more than my previous bowl of cereal and sleep-walking to work routine. And the other significant change is not snacking. I'm not sure why this might make me feel more alert but it might do I suppose.

Anyway, whatever the cause, I'll take it. When I feel mentally more alert and alive, I can give more to friends, family and whatever I'm doing and be more loving, less grumpy and that makes my home life even better too. Things which previously might have dragged me down are more likely to wash over me and I can take greater pleasure in the good stuff. And there's a lot of good stuff to appreciate.

A beautiful, sunny weekend for one. After my lovely Saturday walk with Kerry, I played golf on Sunday morning with Nigel and Fran. We played a bit later than usual because we'd been at the gig in Sheffield late the night before. The mist was still lying in the valley but it was burning off fast. By the third hole the tops of the hills and edges were peeking through the mist and the sun was catching on ghostly trees still swathed in mist. I was kicking myself for not taking my camera out but, to be honest, when you're golfing, you should give it your full concentration and photography would have distracted me! Not that it could have made my score any worse. I was having a great time, playing quite well but then making silly mistakes and scoring badly. Luckily, I got it together for the back nine and eventually played really well - 9 points out and 22 back - how's that for Jekyll and Hyde behaviour!?

Then there's cutthroat competition. I went to the quiz on Sunday evening as usual. We were playing one of the weaker teams in the league (although they beat us last year) and we played an absolute blinder. We seemed to know everything! Our team's knowledge dovetailed brilliantly and, despite some near misses (we just couldn't remember the actress, Kristin Stewart's surname despite being able to picture her perfectly and couldn't retrieve Robert Carlyle as the actor who played Hamish MacBeth from the 80's series) scored our best EVER score - 73! What a high. That score should be in with a chance of the league's best of the season which would also be a first for us. And we won the beer round. Happy days.

Then there's Richard. The more I think about him, the more I realise how happy he makes me. He's not perfect by any means (like me) but he's so consistent and thoughtful (in the sense of thinking about things and acting on his thoughts, rather than only in the sense of being considerate although he is also pretty considerate), loving and active. He's not all talk and stands up for me and for what he believes in and also DOES stuff. I like the fact that he doesn't just SAY he likes music or going to the cinema or weekends away, he actually organises or helps me organise these things. He follows through. And the same applies around the house. Although, like all men in my experience, he doesn't "see" things which need doing as well I as I do, he does do his share and when I point out needs doing (in his own time sometimes!!).

When we'd been together for a year or so, I used to miss (and occasionally fret about) the waning of the overt, falling-in-love type romance but now I see that there is still plenty of understated romance and a lot of fun. I also realise that consistency and following through are a lot more important than avowing eternal love and saying that we'll do this, that and the other but never walking the walk.

And, in terms of romance, what I love is pretty simple really - last Wednesday evening for example. I had been working from home so was totally relaxed; I cooked a nice meal while he did some chores; we lit a fire and candles; opened a bottle of wine and watched 3 back-to-back episodes of Downton Abbey curled up on the sofa together with the dogs. It was comfortable, funny, warm and totally romantic.

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