Firewirks over Sydney Opera House

Firewirks over Sydney Opera House

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

It's a struggle

My snowy drive to work this morning. The steely gloom matched my mood but was very beautiful.

The sun peaked out as I got closer to work though. It would have a been a great day for walking the dogs.

I've really been troubled by temptation to eat over the last couple of days. In the main I've managed to avoid it but it's not been great. I think it's because D and I have been a bit grumpy with each other.

Trouble is, grumpiness has the effect of making me want to hide away and food has always been my hiding place of choice. I'm trying to be different this time and face things head on but God it's hard.
Still, despite the grumpiness, I'm just about sticking to my task. If I really want to weaken, then I'm trying to divert myself or only have an extra pack so I don't stray too far from the regime.

I went to personal training this morning and, strangely, was able to work out much harder than usual. Huw commented that I was knocking out more reps at higher weights than I have for a while. It was knackering but maybe I wanted the physical tiredness to distract me from the mental tension?? Work was tough too as an unforeseen problem arose today but that helped in a way as well as I could concentrate on dealing with that for most of the day and keep busy.

So, now I'm blogging and pouring my little issues out and hope that it isn't too dull or personal. It helps, sometimes, to process things. It has actually helped because, as I write, I realise that this spat is pretty unimportant really. I love D and he loves me. We're healthy and fine. Our dogs are fine too and we're just being grumpy to each other. I'm sure it'll blow over and we'll have a nice weekend before he goes back to the rig. That's probably half the problem anyway; the fact that he's away for Christmas.

There, I feel lighter already.


Isabelle said...

Hope the grumpiness has passed. Santa hats for dogs, yes, that's the thing to cheer you up.

Mrs said...

Hang on in there! Just by writing it down, you are processing it rather than letting it fester.

I've done some stuff in counselling about reacting to situations and people. You and D are probably, like most married couples (!), just having the same argument dressed up in different outfits.

Go and do some things together. Being apart is hard, even when you think you are used to it.

Big kiss.

Mrs Lxxxxxxx

C said...

I am glad that you talk about everything that is going on in your life. It makes me feel better to know that other couples feel the same way and are going through the same things. Maybe the grumpiness will be gone today.

Peridot said...

It's easy to be grumpy when it's cold and dark and the pressure of Christmas looms (one way or another). Hope you've got past the bickering and are having some good times before D has to go.

Peridot x

smellyshelley said...

I think we all just want to feel special to our spouse - so when they make a comment it fractures that desire - "maybe I'm not so special after all to them." Boy, my husband thinks I don't pay enough attention to him either - everytime I take a new interest he thinks I'm putting that in front of he thinks he is behind my kids and pets. Its a struggle to keep that balance. Then when I spend a lot of time exercising and trying to lose weight, it brings up insecurities in him about my motives...even though I'm just doing it to feel better about myself. Men!