Tuesday, 2 December 2008
It's a struggle
My snowy drive to work this morning. The steely gloom matched my mood but was very beautiful.
The sun peaked out as I got closer to work though. It would have a been a great day for walking the dogs.
I've really been troubled by temptation to eat over the last couple of days. In the main I've managed to avoid it but it's not been great. I think it's because D and I have been a bit grumpy with each other.
Trouble is, grumpiness has the effect of making me want to hide away and food has always been my hiding place of choice. I'm trying to be different this time and face things head on but God it's hard.
Still, despite the grumpiness, I'm just about sticking to my task. If I really want to weaken, then I'm trying to divert myself or only have an extra pack so I don't stray too far from the regime.
I went to personal training this morning and, strangely, was able to work out much harder than usual. Huw commented that I was knocking out more reps at higher weights than I have for a while. It was knackering but maybe I wanted the physical tiredness to distract me from the mental tension?? Work was tough too as an unforeseen problem arose today but that helped in a way as well as I could concentrate on dealing with that for most of the day and keep busy.
So, now I'm blogging and pouring my little issues out and hope that it isn't too dull or personal. It helps, sometimes, to process things. It has actually helped because, as I write, I realise that this spat is pretty unimportant really. I love D and he loves me. We're healthy and fine. Our dogs are fine too and we're just being grumpy to each other. I'm sure it'll blow over and we'll have a nice weekend before he goes back to the rig. That's probably half the problem anyway; the fact that he's away for Christmas.
There, I feel lighter already.