Thursday, 14 June 2012

The "Dread"

 Part 2 of our walk to Solva.  I know Pembrokeshire is lingering on this blog but to be honest, the weather has been so rubbish since I came back and my good camera is on the blink so these are all I have - I may as well stretch them out for a bit!

A field full of Welsh Cobs including loads of foals and proud mamas.

Flowers, offshores islets and a passing gull.

The sun came out for our first glimpse of the beautiful harbour village of Solva. A picture postcard view.

A couple of ciders at the Harbour Inn and then the bus back to St Davids (or Tyddewi in Welsh)

I feel as though I'm entering a period of work and uncertainty and it is filling me with dread. But, if I analyse why I dread it, I can't put my finger on what will be so bad. It's a sort of nameless dread of an intangible possibility rather than an actual fear of something real. In other words, my chimp is messing with my mind!

In terms of actual events, I couldn't be much happier. Rich and I are in the midst of some sort of lovely honeymoon for no apparent reason. Maybe he recognises the "dread" in me and wants me to be happy so is being extra loving and romantic to compensate. Whatever the reason, I love it.

So, instead of focussing on the "dread", I'm going to make sure I keep chipping away at all the things which need to be done so as to keep them under control and, in the meantime, enjoy life as much as possible without a) spending loads or b) eating or drinking too much!

On the SW front, this period of shakiness coincides with yet another restart. I am heartily sick and tired of fannying around losing a few, gaining a few and not getting anywhere. Other women in my class are losing stones of weight and nearing their targets and I am firmly where I started 10 months ago (well, within a few lbs). Aaaargh. Luckily, there is another woman in my class experiencing the same thing, she is actually a few lbs heavier than when she started although she has been lighter in the middle too. We happened to be sitting next to each other on Tuesday night so I suggested exchanging mobile numebrs and texting each other as a mini support group. It might help. I'm determined to be good and ditch the pints and the excess. I know I can do it so I'm just going to knuckle down and get on with it. Losing a stone would certainly help banish the "dread" although I don't know why.

The good thing is (and you know how I like to finish on a positive note) that whenever I feel a bit fearful or down, I can just remember something nice about me and Rich and it cheers me up. I'm so lucky to have him in my life (and vice versa of course!).

1 comment:

Seren said...

Stoopid chimp.

You CAN do it though - both SW and all the other stuff going on, as you say, just concentrate on one foot in front of the other and before you know it you've, er, climbed a Welsh mountain :-)

Have a fantastic weekend - and give that lovely man of yours a hug, it sounds like you're on to a fabulous thing there and I'm so pleased for you. A partner who can recognise what you need without you even having to verbalise it is worth his weight in diamonds.