Sunday, 3 May 2009

Who am I???

More pics from Litton. D and the dogs enjoy a pints in the sunshine.

Such a little Daddy's girl...

Minty likes the water but won't's a shame as Shelagh loves to swim.

My head is spinning. I've been thinking about what I want out of this programme for ages this afternoon. Fighting with my chimp; wondering whether my choices are mine or hers; trying to avoid getting on the damn bike and just getting myself into a bit of a pickle.

The nub of the problem seems to be that I'm not convinced by this no lee-way/elite dieter approach. It's not that I don't want to be sucessful and lose weight but, more important than that for me, is learning how to live a good life with food and drink and social occasions in their place. I know I'll have to make sacrifices but I don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. What is the point of having a great physique if I can't go out and have fun with it??

What prompted this angst? Football and beer of course!!

It's the last day of the Championship season today and I met up with Jim in the pub. I didn't know what I was going to do about food and drink until I got there. When I was on LL, I didn't drink or eat at any of the games but this felt different and it's the last game of the season. So, the upshot is that I drank 3 points of beer and had a bacon sandwich. Well, half a bacon sandwich as I was genuinely full after half so put the rest down. But I did finish the beer....of course.

I've been trying to work out whether it was my chimp or me who decided to drink the beer. I could have drunk but only had G & T which would have been a lot less in calorific terms but would not have been the same. Drink or no drink, I REALLY enjoyed my day. In fact, it was one of the best days I've had in a long while. The weather was lush; the match was fabbie, lots of humour, good music, good friends. Jim and I had a great chat about the TV programme and a proper laugh. It was just really good fun.

If I had compromised and stifled myself with rules I'm pretty sure I would not have had such a good time. Am I rationalising? Probably.

I think I know what the Psych would say - "Would Victoria Pendleton have gone out and had a few beers??" Of course not. But, I thought about this and concluded that I'm not Victoria Pendleton. My fortune does not depend on my physique to the last ounce. I'm trying to learn to control my weight in the real world not become an elite athlete.

I also know that drinking 3 points of beer is not the greatest route to controlling my weight. Butit was not drink added to my day, it was drink incorporated into my day. I had only an orange and a cup of tea for breakfast; half a bacon sandwich for lunch. I've been for a long walk and am about to get on the exercise bike for a 20-25 minute stint and I'm going to have a light supper. It's not the worst thing in the world and I really enjoyed my day.

I don't want this programme to add a level of guilt to my burdens so I think I'm going to have to discuss this issue with the Psych on Tuesday. Nor though do I want to ignore his advice. After all, he did help all those incredible cyclists to their feats of sucess at Beijing. Learn learn learn....stick at it and get on that bike. It's the best I can do for now.

And congratulate myself for not allowing 3 pints to lead me down the path of toast, biscuits, chips and worse.....
It's not easy is it?

1 comment:

Isabelle said...

You do have to be able to enjoy life. I think you're absolutely lovely as you are, anyway.