Friday, 8 May 2009

Soldiering on

Me, Minty and Andrew being guinea pigs for my niece's new found interest in photography...

I had a great time on Tuesday doing the filming. The film crew came to my house in the afternoon to do some interviews and background stuff with me which was interesting. It's amazing how quickly you get used to being filmed. I felt relaxed and happy chatting away and being filmed doing "normal" things like coming home from work, cycling on the static bike and looking in my fridge and cupboards. All totally staged of course.

I had been well prepped by the kind Mrs L so I had prepared a little bit to make sure I got across the most important things I wanted to say and I think I managed it. I talked about the blog and the incredible supportive little community we have here which they seemed really interested in.

In fact they wanted a shot of me supposedly "blogging" so I had to change into my work clothes (obviously as I'm a solicitor I wear a smart suit all the time in Telly World - lol!!) and tap away at the computer. It was exceedingly fake but the dogs enjoyed their moment of fame. In fact I was sending an email to my friend telling him that I was being filmed while I typed - I thought it would look more realistic.

After a few hours of that we went over to the Velodrome for our first session on the track. It was strangely nerve-wracking. The bikes don't have gears or brakes and my feet were clipped in so I felt very unsteady. But, they took it slowly and after a few laps I was getting the hang of it. I was the fastest of the 4 of us which I have to admit pleased the sporty, competitive side to my nature. I found it exhilerating and quite addictive.

The banking round the bends is pretty steep though so you have to keep concentrating all the way round! I got about 3/4 of the way up it but the top looks very high. We're being filmed on the track again on Sunday morning for our 1km time trial which will be a killer. You'd think that 4 times round the track is not far but, flat out, it's exhausting.

In fact the pressure is already starting to tell - this evening I would have preferred getting on the bike straight away when I got home and then eating but, no - eat then pub. So now I feel full and don't want to go on the bike. I also feel less motivated than I did....alll the demoralising picking becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. I'm not going to let it happen though - the minute I finish this post I'm down to the bike for at least 30 minutes hard graft....I promise.

So - I feel a little down, I'm more pissed off actually and determined to make this stick and learn learn learn. I don't want to keep on struggling forever.


Claire said...

Just get on and do what you've got to do. I know you are already but just grab responsibility for your own life and give him his. Maybe it's a misguided attempt to protect you from failure. Maybe it's cos he's scared of you changing. Maybe he feels left out. Maybe he just wants more attention. You could ask him, see if it's reasonable and try to accomodate him - but not at the expense of yourself and what you want to do. What I'm saying is that it might not be anything to do with the diet. x

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