Making good choices

No trip to Cape Town would be complete without a trip up Table Mountain. We were surprised how often the cable cars weren't running because of wind or fog but we got up there on a very changeable day, sunny one minute and foggy and freezing the next. Still, gorgeous views and lovely flora and fauna.

The island to the right of me is Robben Island where Nelson Mandela was held for all those years. We didn't make it out there as you had to book in advance and we weren't organised enough but we'll go next time...

The view of Clifton beach (I'll post some pictures from the beach later).

Diarmuid looking cold and wondering whether we should go for a walk after all considering the fog closing in. We did but only an hour or so, it really was chilly and once you left the crowds behind, a bit eerie.

Yesterday (Tuesday) was a pretty good day. I got back to the proper regime mindset and I did some exercise. Sunday and Monday I had gone back onto the diet but been a bit "loose" about it. I'd had logistical difficulties (meetings and the quiz) and had taken the easy way out. Not eaten masses or bad stuff but not been stellar in my approach either. Yesterday I was back to normal and turned down some opportunities to eat and drink off plan.

I also did my personal training in the morning so feel a bit more lively.

This is good. I can feel my old hunger to get slim returning. It's not just "ah damn, I've put some weight back on, I need to shift it." It's more "I want to get back into my size 12's and 14's again and feel fit and go running without hurting." It's a more positive aim rather than an undoing a negative. Much easier to focus on too.

I've packed my swimming kit for work so, barring unforeseen meetings (of which I seem to have loads at the moment) I should be ble to do 50 lengths at lunchtime.

I need to take the good times when I can as D is home now too. He managed to get an early chopper yesterday so returned a couple of days early which was nice. The downside is that there is now food in the house, sigh. Also, I have a friend visiting from London at the weekend which will necessitate hospitality. I'm going to try and be restrained and only deviate for very special and nice things but I'm not planning on being a saint!

This time is definitely different to before. I'm not aiming for perfect abstinence, just reasonably speedy reducing. This has two added benefits. One, there's a chance I'll stick to it! And two, I'm having to make choices throughout the diet rather than just at the end so I'm hoping the transition to maintenance/management will be smoother.

Right off to work now. Hope you're all doing well. It's a bit quiet round here these day isn't it?

Determination

I really do feel that this time it IS different. Although I wasn't not strictly on plan over the weekend, there was no feeling of out of control eating. And it was not difficult to get back on the wagon on Sunday (none of this waiting-til-Monday business either!).

This time, I'm not expecting to be perfect but I'm making more choices as I go along. Hopefully this time, I will stick to it better and make the transition to maintaining better too because of all the choices.

I've learned that there is no magic on/off switch when sucess has been attained, it's still a process, but I do feel that I'm further along with the process than I was before.

Sometimes, when you feel fat and horrid, it's easy to think that you've actually gone backwards but I know I'm a different person and have made great strides. I would certainly never regret what I did last year and this and I'd never go back.

Now, just to cement the exercise back into my routine and everything will be fine!!!

Progress and patterns.

Me around my thinnest last summer. I love the flat tummy and slim arms.

Me as I am now give or take a lb or so. Not too bad but getting chunkier and the tummy and arms showing the strain.

Me as I was at my heaviest. Nuff said.

Well, the old pattern is beginning to assert itself. I do well, stick to the regime and then experience some sucess. I feel thinner and a little fitter and then I start to relax and stray from the regime before I reach my goals.

Only this time, it is going to be different.

Yesterday, though, I had the day of "relaxation" and, if I were to let it, I might continue to stray from the regime. But I'm not going to let it.

I went to the football and thought I could handle a brief departure from the regime in the form of a couple of pints and a bacon sandwich. It appears that I can't I as I also had some Toblerone when I got home (not too much, threw the rest away once I'd opened the pack) and a tin of tuna with mayo. So, not a massive departure but significant unless I get my act together today.

Which is what I'm doing by posting this first thing.

Next up, I'm going to get out into the garden and rake some leaves and just generally tidy up. Walk the dogs. Then, If I have any more energy, I'll tackle the inside of the house. So, a busy day and I'm NOT going to stray any more.

Send me strong thoughts please.

Ancient wisdom

Me by the river of leopard prints and skinny dippers..

An ancient rambler complete with rucksack...

I liked this one 'cos D looks like a giant next to the little succulent.

Yay. They had fat-bottomed girls 20,000 ago! But did they make the rockin' world go round I wonder??

Towering red sandstone cliffs.

While I was looking through some of the few South African photos I haven't already posted, I spotted these from a walk out in the Cederberg Wilderness. It was a Rock Art Trail on a slightly hippified farm out in the middle of nowhere.

We turned up at the farm place, having driven for well over an hour and seen more baboons than cars, paid our few rand and got our little map and explanation and then set off. According to the visitors book they'd had about 20 people this year so not exactly a booming business but they were nice people and I think they had a few very basic chalets for retreats further down the river. With warnings about not running over the tortoises on the drive (quite difficult to avoid actually) we headed out into the scorching heat and the feeling that no-one was around. It was fantastic.

There 10 sites of ancient rock art painted by the San Bushmen over 20,000 years ago. These were marked on the map and at various points on the ground too (very discreetly). A small number meant you had to spend the next 10 minutes scrabbling round rocks until you found the painting then there was a brief explanantion on the map leaflet to help you decode it. I must admit we didn't find 2 of them and didn't want to scramble around too much in case of snakes or scorpions or sprained ankles.

On our way back we had a cooling dip in the river (no-one around so skinny dipping it was...) and I noticed a set of cat prints on a sandbank. When I described them to a local later he confirmed that they would have been leopard. how cool is that? The leopard must have jumped down from a tree onto the sand bank, padded across the 10 feet or so into the river and then swum to the other side as there were no return prints.

It was glorious to be out in the middle of nowhere. How often can you really feel alone? I love our landscape in England, engineered by humans as it is, but the African bush really spoke to me. I suppose being brought up in West Africa will have left its mark. The Cederbergs were the closest landscape I could remember to the Nigerian bush so I felt very nostalgic. I will be back.

Of diet talk, there is very little. I managed to resist temptation once I got home last night despite a couple of forays into the kitchen looking for "something". Both times, I managed to either take a glass of water or cup of tea and return empty handed. I also distracted myself going through photos for some frames I have bought. It's about time I get some of my piccies up on the wall but there are so many to choose from it is a very time-consuming process.

Well, it's sunny now and I'm going to the football later so I'm going to head out with the dogs asap. Have fun!

Tired - busy day

The only picture I managed to get of a male kudu not hiding behind the bushes. Magnificent isn't he?

I love these mucky chaps. Apparently buffalo can be very dangerous and unpredictable but I thought they just looked like muddy cows!

Another gorgeous crew of elephants at a waterhole..I could have watched them all day.

This lone male was fantastic. Slightly excitable as he was in "must" and therefore on the lookout for a female (with no chance of getting one as he's only around 25 so not old enough, poor lad). We watched him for a while and then he walked so close to the vehicle on my side that I had to bring my arm into the jeep. Then he stopped level with me and stared right into my eyes....talk about shiver down your spine time.

Well, I've been very busy over the last few days and feel a bit jaded. The diet is not the cause though. If anything, it is helping me keep my energy levels up. It is also helping me from turning to food as I'm sure I would have done were it not for the certainty of being on a regime.

My weigh in went very well last night. I'm trying to keep away from numbers and my obsession with them so I'm not going report actual weights and measures though, sorry. I didn't find out what I weigh anyway, merely what I lost.

The class was very helpful too although there is one woman who tends to dominate (isn't there always...). We were talking about resistance to change which I remember we covered in Foundation. I was surprised how resistant I still am to the thought of permanently giving up certain foods. I can go through all the pro's and con's and logically accept that it will make me happier and healthier but, when it comes down to it, I don't ever want to say a final no to certain things. The Counsellor suggested that I don't then, that it might be a more general resistance to denying myself and cutting off possibilities and that I should reframe and try to limit the foods rather than denying them completely. This makes sense although I know some people do totally cut out certain things forever. Like giving up smoking, I imagine there's a certain "freedom" to knowing you just can't have it.

Anyway, with this going on in the background, I found myself having a conversation with 2 women from my team at work this morning about treats and chocolate. Both are extremely slim and look like they've never had to diet a day in their lives. (One is a part time dance instructor and the other a former model!) It surprised me how much they talked about "treats" and "denying themselves" and "resisting". Both agreed between themselves (I was listening more than talking in this conversation!) that it was not a good idea to deny yourself as it only made you want it more. Both used distraction techniques to avoid eating too much and both had a little taste of something to avoid a bigger binge later.

Hmmmm, interesting. So it comes down to whether you trust yourself to stop I suppose.

Anyway, apart from a small foray to the snack table which I'm quite annoyed with myself about, I've not done too badly today. I know that this type of tiredness is a trigger for me and could feel myself formulating excuses to eat as I drove home. But, I came straight up here to blog rather than heading to the kitchen and think that I'll be strong enough to stick to the plan. Weird how all the coping strategies come back to you isn't it? I'm rusty but getting there.

Exercise is a bit thin on the ground though. I'm managing to go to personal training twice a week and that is about it. Sometimes you have to accept that work does intrude on life but I'm going to make a big effort to do something nice tomorrow. Either a leisurely jog or a walk, depending on the weather of course.

Good luck over the weekend everyone.

Joy of movement

Shelagh running. She's much more cautious than her daughter.

I thought this was an atmospheric shot for the season. Don't know why.

An irritating pheasant who crouched in the shadows rather than walking into the perfect sun for his photo and then, when I was too far away, immediately left the shadown and looked magnificent.

Mad Minty running for her life...... I wish I had her energy

I took the dogs out for a lovely walk in the winter sunshine on Tuesday and had a ball watching them hurtling across the fields. Minty expecially just steams down slopes and often ends of in a heap at the fence at the bottom. It's lovely to watch.

Anyway, this'll be short 'cos I'm heading off for my first proper weigh in. Wish me luck!

Still 39 today!

Actually I've had a nice day today. I always think this about birthdays....that I don't really care and it won't matter if there's no fuss....then there is a nice bit of fuss (just cards and calls and stuff at work and D sent me some gorgeous flowers) and I really like it and somehow the day does feel special after all.

So, I'm just about to have a bath and then get down to the pub for the quiz...God, I know how to live....but wanted to post and say that I like being 39 so far. And D's flowers were gorgeous even though they did fall off my desk and I had to remove a couple of the green chrysanths.

Also, although I didn't make it to the gym at lunchtime due to yet another meeting, I have been very good foodwise and fully intend to stick to the plan in the pub too. I tryuly am a very good birthday girl.

PS. Didn't eat at the quiz but did have a small glass of red wine which I can live with (my sole birthday treat). But, I also won the quiz and received - a big bar of Toblerone! Which is now lurking in my cupboard. Part of me wants to take it to work tomorrow and give it away but part of me wants to see how long it lasts and whether I can keep it 'til Christmas. Will she? Won't she? I must admit that I nearly ripped open that wrapper as soon as I got into the car to come home before realising what a stupid thing that would be. Weigh in tomorrow.