Slight change of plan

A few sunny photos to liven up these grey days.

Luckily this was taken out of the car window...we didn't see any snakes while walking but we certainly looked very carefully before sitting down anywhere!

The Slimming World class has been changed to Thursday so I'll go then. In the meantime I'm trying to remember how it all works and make a start.

I'm very busy at work and even busier with our group from the village raising funds for a total revamp of the local play area. We heard last week that our application to the Big Lottery has passed Stage 1 and now the hard work begins. We had a meeting last night and I think we're all shocked by the amount of work it will entail and how quickly we have to get our acts together. We have to get everything ready and the application submitted in 6 months which sounds like a long time but is not really when you look at the amount to be done!

Check out my other blog on http://www.friendsofbamfordplayarea.blogspot.com/ and leave a comment, please!! It is difficult to get people who are not internet savvy to do so and the more interest the better as evidence of "community support".......sigh.....

The photos are of a wilderness region north of Cape Town called the Cederbergs. They're a big range of rocky hills and valleys full of vineyards and citrus orchards. It was weird to be driving on gravel roads and over endless mountain passes (sometimes for several hours) and then come across a field full of workers. Where did they all come from?? Still it was stunning and remote and gave us a very untouristy picture of a part of South Africa which I don't think many people see. The hiking was fantastic too - the rock formations were crazy and the wildlife too. Amazing flowers among the rocks too.

Tomorrow is yet another Day 1!

I took these before I went on holiday while out walking with the pooches round Ladybower resrvoir. It was a beautiful late summer evening as you can see. Very contemplative.

What a miserable weekend weatherwise it has been. Grey, rainy, cold and drear. I've been a bit similar myself but have not given in to the food too badly, a couple of slip ups but not letting go.

I tried to keep busy but couldn't make myself get out and about in the evenings. I had every intention on both Friday and Saturday nights to go out but both nights I ended up staying in with the dogs and the fire. That would have been a bad thing if I had given in to eating too much but I didn't so I'm just writing it off as the natural desire to "cave" when the weather is grim. The dogs were happy anyway and I've had loads of lovely sleep.

I haven't been a complete hermit though - I went to the football on Saturday (Wednesday beat Doncaster Rovers but played poorly) and had old school friends over today. And I'm going out this evening for the Inter-pub Quiz League match (!) Yes, I know - it's irredeemably swottish but we don't take it very seriously and I quite like a challenge.

I've made a decision too. I am going to start Slimming World tomorrow. I'm not going to go with friends or anything, not going to mention it to anyone really, just going to get my head down and take it seriously. I even had a look at my old books to get my head in gear so there can be no excuses about needing the first week to "get organised"!!

Pondering

The magnificent and beautiful King Proteas of South Africa

More proteas in different colours

I hope you like holiday snaps as I have masses! I chose the above piccies taken in Kirstenbosch Botanical Garden in Cape Town because they were so bright and colourful; the perfect antidote to the dark winter evenings and grey, cloudy weather.

I have been catching up with a few blogs over the last few days and quite a few people seem to be turning back to WW to control their weight. I can't stand WW personally and the one near where I live is really busy, impersonal and time consuming so that's a no-go. I'm checking out what else might be available.

If I do SW again, I would have to do it with a different mindset to the last few times I tried it as I tended to give up almost immediately and had very limited sucess. Historically, I have had the most sucess with SW (apart from LL of course) and the local class and timing are much more convenient so it looks like the front runner at the moment.

I suspect my previous failures to get back into it might have been partly because I wasn't really accepting that I had a problem and also that I was doing it with a friend and therefore didn't feel like I owned the process. I'd probably keep this quiet at least at first.

Anyway, I'm still thinking about it, but it seems like a good way to go.

In other news, I checked out the new swimming pool which the Council (for whom I work so I shall take due credit!) has just opened very near to my office. It is less than 5 minutes walk and very plush. I even get a discount as a Council employee! I went to a Body Combat class last Friday which was fantastic but the instructor was ill today so I swam instead so Go Me! for not being derailed trying something new.

I'm going to try and get to at least 2 classes per week in addition to my 2 personal training sessions and running at the weekends and walking the dogs. That should be enough exercise and I don't have the resistance to classes which I seem to have to the running. That at least is something which is working out.

Baby steps

The Lion's Head and part of Table Mountain from Signal Hill in Cape Town.

A gorgeous Guinea Fowl. I feel in love with them on holiday and have a hand painted mug with guinea fowl on which is, strangely, my favourite of all our holiday souvenirs. Apart from the photos of course.

I tried to think of some connection between the sunset photos and my dieting musings....but anything I came up with sounded hackneyed to say the least so I conclude that they're just pretty pictures and a reminder of a lovely evening and beautiful place.

I've made a good start now. After a chaotic few weeks since we came back from SA during which I've had good days and bad. Now, I feel more centred and determined than ever.

I'm NOT going to throw away all the fantastic achievements of last year (and this). I'm NOT going to go back to feeling fat and lethargic.

Activity is the key and owning my problems with food. I have been hiding from them and trying to "control" my eating which is always setting myself up for a fall as you can't be "in control" all the time. I need to work out why I want to eat too much in the first place. It is definitely a hiding or a coping mechanism. Hiding away, not doing stuff, not going out much or exercising and turning to food for solace. Not a pretty picture.

I don't live like that all the time or even much of the time. The problem is, though, that I do have the occasional cycle like that and my physiology and dieting history means that even a fortnight or so like that can be incredibly destructive and I can gain weight extremely quickly. So a few weeks of "hiding" can undo weeks and months of good choices and active lifestyle.

I have to accept that and work out, firstly, how to lose weight within a healthy lifestyle and, secondly, how to minimise the negative effects of the bottom end of the curve.

At the moment, I feel positive and am making good choices. I'm not eating outside of meals, planning healthy and reasonable meals, turning down sweets and chocolates, not snacking and just generally not feeling that horrible empty urge to eat. I'm keeping up the exercise too.

I must keep this going and not derail myself when I have a small sucess.

I'm still thinking about some "rules" or non-negotiables as Mrs L would say. I'm also trying to think of how to "gee us up" as requested by Ameythist. All I can say is that I know we can do it and I know we are better off for having taken this journey even if we are experiencing difficulties. At lest we know how much we can achieve. We just have to remind ourselves of our incredible strength and resources and all the amazing sucesses we have had and will have in the future. Alright?!

Resolve....taking the plunge

Peering over the edge...

back safe on the bridge, look at those eyes shining!

While we were in South Africa I did the highest commercial bungee jump in the world. It was off Bloukhrans Bridge on the Garden Route and is 216 metres high! I have wanted to do a bungee jump (a proper one off a bridge, not a crane) for years so could not pass up on the opportunity.

It was amazing. Simply fantastic. I was so determined to do it that I was not really scared: nervous, full of adrenaline and excited, but not scared. The only time I might have been scared was when I was hanging upside down 100 metres below the brdge and 100 metres above the ground, by myself waiting to be pulled up. But, I recognised the onset of fear and talked my way out of it, laughed out loud (it cheers you up - try it) and tried to enjoy the view!

Once back up to the top, the excitement and adrenaline raced through me and there was such a high at having done it and achieved a goal.

I can't help thinking that I need to look at the photos frequently to remind myself of all those feelings and the resources I have within myself. To remind me that I don't need to hide in food and that I can achieve a natural high, fantastic excitement and great pleasure.....without food! You don't see many fat adrenaline junkies do you. I need to access that side of myself more often; the person who loves the outdoors and dancing and partying and physical activity and gets a genuine high from them.

Rather than the person who likes sitting inside watching telly or reading and thinking about what she can eat. While there is much to be said for relaxing in front of the fire with the dogs, it should not be the main part of my leisure time.

Keep active!!!

And do some exciting stuff once in a while......

Big as a whale....

I'm joking honest...

But it's strange that the animals I was really moved by on our trip to South Africa were the 2 biggest... The elephants were so gorgeous and peaceful. When they walked right past you it was amazing how quiet they were...almost silent on those giant feet.

And the whales. They were fantastic, just peacefully rolling around the bay. Apart from when they leapt out of the water in front of us. Just stunning.

So, I would recommend South Africa wholeheartedly as a place to visit. It was fantastic. So much to do and see and incredibly beautiful. I will be going back.

Weightwise, I did quite well surprisingly. I managed to be exactly the same weight at the end of my holiday as I was at the beginning. Admittedly that is too much but at least I didn't gain anything. I was doing pretty well at limiting my input for the first couple of weeks but could feel the control loosening when I got a nasty (but mercifully brief) bout of food poisoning which lost me a few lbs and dampened my appetite for a few days too. I think that helped!

Unfortunately, I have not been great since I got back and have struggled to get back into gear. I have been better this last week and am starting to get my head round what must be done.

In harsh terms: I lost nearly 9 stone last year and I have since regained 3 stone of it!! 3 stone!!! It sucks (to borrow a useful American term). Sucks, I tells ya...

No more.

So. I'm still working out what I'm to do about it longterm but in the meantime am limiting my food and doing more exercise and blogging of course. I'll keep you posted.

Big kisses to all and I hope you're doing better than I am.

Hope you're enjoying Obama's victory. I have been quite moved by the various speeches and interviews I've seen today. Whatever he's like as a Prez, it''s a big thing.

Back again...like a bad penny!

I'm back again after a break of nearly 2 months!!! Can't believe the time has passed so quickly. I'd like to be able to say that in that time I've cracked it and am now totally on top of my weight but I suspect that, if I did, you'd probably think I was telling big porky pies anyway!

No, I feel much like the large creature pictured above....big! And I like eating too much! I wish I could just be relaxed about the bigness like him but it's not to be. Must get back into the groove and actually lose some weight rather than just stressing about it.

So, I haven't got time to post much today but this is a marker that I'll be back !!!

Oh, and good luck to any US readers out there with your new President. I must admit he would definitely have been my choice but there are quite a few question marks over his lack of experience...