Midsummer evening

Midsummer evening

Saturday, 15 June 2013

Which way is Up?

I'm on a dieting roller coaster at the moment.  I see from my post 2 weeks ago that I then weighed 14.11 having been up to 14.13 and I was mighty a'feared of the dreaded 15s.  Well, since then I've been strolling unhappily around the foothills of those 15s but have managed to claw myself back under control and this morning weighed in at 14.12.

So, no real harm done as yet but it all feels very marginal and like I might go out of control at any time.  Actually, when I think about it without the emotion, that is me being unfair to me.  I haven't been properly "out of control" and piling on the lbs for years.  They creep on at times but the days of piling a stone on in a month and then carrying on seem to be behind of me.

In the grand scheme of things, I'm halfway from my lightest weight this year and my heaviest weight last year.  As long as I can reverse this gradual upward trend, there is plenty of time for 2013 to be a net loss year and that is all I'm asking for.

I've toyed with going on an actual diet, as I do when things are going a bit wrong but have concluded that that is NOT what I want to do.  I was so happy last year when I was gradually dropping weight by NOT dieting so I'm determined that getting back to that is better for me in the longterm. 

It is tricky though when  I read about people doing well on the fasting diet or Slimming World etc etc  But I knew I was being silly when I met a woman I know in the hairdressers and she'd dropped a lot of weight doing Lighter Life and found myself thinking about do that again!  She said she'd been inspired years ago by my trasnformation but had not been ready to tackle it until this year and she looked great.  She had that zeal/elation that I remember so well and I wondered idly to myself whether I could/should give LL another go.  But that way madness lies.  It WAS the right thing for me to do back then when I weighed 20 stone but it is not right for me now. 

What is right fo rme now is to keep working on my everyday life, making sure that I eat healthily and exercise.  If do that consistently, I will stop the big gains and learn how to drop any extra that may creep on.

I do wonder though whether my desire not to diet is really the logical course of action or whether it's my chimp successfully managing me because SHE doesn't want to diet.  I think that, as long as I'm not dieting in a stringent, sensible manner then my chimp is not getting away with anything but, if I'm just slacking, then she is.  Certain triggers make me want to drop weight quickly as well - the thought of a hot holiday (we're saving up for a trip to Malaysia next year); and the pile of clothes in my spare room which would fit me if I weighed just 14-21 lbs less.

So - I'm not going to go on a diet per se but I am going to tighten up and get back to what worked at the end of last year.  And that means, more exercise and fewer carbs and less booze.

Watch this space.

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