It's strange: a couple of weeks ago I was totally focussed on losing most of the weight I had regained. It was going to be abstinence, pain, self-flagellation all the way. Now my thoughts have shifted yet again.
I still want to lose the weight but I don't seem to be focussed on food much at all. I'm doing a kind of hybrid abstinence - 2 or 3 packs a day; lots of water; skimmed milk in tea and coffee; a protein and salad mini meal and the occasional very small treat. I'm sure it'll slow my weight loss down but, if I can keep to it as I currently am doing, then I don't care because, for once, food is not the central focus of my life!!
Now I'm focussed on my fitness and, more particularly, training to run the Sheffield Half Marathon on 27th April. I've got to get the miles into my legs and the interval/intensity training done so I don't die on the way round! I want to be able to do it in 2 hours if poss but that may prove slightly ambitious!!
It's a good time to do the training too as the weather and evenings are improving and the dog doesn't need walking due to her puppies!
It's very refreshing to have a non weight-related goal to works towards. I'm sure the training will improve my physique and should help me lose weight too but the point is - I want to be able to do the race!! Hallelujah...it feels like a revelation from above...it's NOT all about what I weigh....
I've just been to personal training and managed a swift 4 mile run last night in 39 minutes (first time I've beaten 42 minutes on that route) so the Games have well and truly commenced.....bring on the Lions.....
So, on that buoyant note, I'll leave you as I still have to shower and get to work and I'm running late....geddit....running.....
Friday, 29 February 2008
Thursday, 28 February 2008
Day 11 (x2)
I'm working from home again today as I have a massive document to read, review and then discuss with our solicitor. It's 88 pages long and v v complex and I'm really not looking forward to it. Honestly, I don't know why I chose the law at times like these, it's not really my thing! I'm much better with real times issues and dealing with people, all this detail work bores me!! I suppose that's why my job at the Council suits me as there is less pure legal work to do and more strategy and advising on the hop.
Anyway, today I'm going to have to suck it up and get it done. I'm starting early so that I can fit in a run if possible. I'd like to do a 6 miler but not sure how much time I will have as I also have my french class this evening. We'll see.
Now today, I don't feel thin!! Why is that? Yesterday I felt noticeably slimmer and today, bloaty. Grrrr. Could it be something to do with the slice of white bread and butter I had last night??? Probably. It's amazing how one transgression can weigh on you both physically and mentally. Physically, I genuinely do feel less "empty" and mentally I feel cheesed off that I weakened and had a slice of bread of all things!
When D is away there is no bread in the house (well, maybe a Burgin's seeded loaf in the freezer but I can ignore that). When he comes back though, there's lovely fresh white crusty bread just sitting on the counter (he could at least put it away!), right next to the butter.....sigh.....
Hope you like the latest pictures of Shelagh and her pups. Little Marvin looks so sweet there doesn't he? Full as a barrel and totally content just lying next to his sister and on his mum's belly. Bliss. They're gaining weight like crazy and no-one tells them off....lucky little blighters....
Wednesday, 27 February 2008
Day 10 (x2) [updated]
Well, I feel thinner and I think I've lost weight although my scales seem a bit variable at the moment. I managed a swift 4 mile run yesterday lunchtime to compensate for missing training. The first half of the run was both predominantly uphill AND into the teeth of a biting and very strong headwind! It was bliss to turn around and float home! I was pleased to put the effort in and find that I'd managed to increase my speed to 10.5 minute miles from 11 minute miles!
If I am going to do this half marathon (I haven't put the form in yet - will decide today) I'll have to be constantly increasing the length of my runs every week from here on in. At the moment have been playing it rather safe.
Apart from that, food was okay. I slipped up in the petrol station on the way into Sheffield and bought a Lindor mini egg!! But it could have been worse. Not difficult to identify the trigger for that one - petrol stations are an ever present but also D and I had had just had "words"! Nothing serious or long-lasting but enough for me to just grab at chocolate as I passed. I suppose the good thing is that it was only a small piece of chocolate, in the past that might have been MUCH worse!
When D first arrvies back from the rig, we're always really pleased to see each other but within the first few days we usually snipe at each other. Sometimes the sniping creates bitterness and causes a hangover which last for days. We're trying really hard this time not to let little spats escalate or taint our time together and learn from past mistakes. I think it's a natural period of re-adjusting to each other. D is back in "my" house; he's tired, he's been used to bossing a team of blokes doing a really high pressure job; now he has only me to boss!!; I don't like being bossed (no shit Sherlock!); we haven't been able to talk properly for a month so all new issues arise; a combination of factors...
This though, like with CBT in LL, we're going to try to break the pattern and do things differently so as not to allow the inevitable readjusting to last for half his trip home! So far it seems to be working - what "words" we have had have been expressed and then forgotten (not something D is good at!!) and I'm doing my best not to be the martyr...
That can only help us get to the good times sooner!
This all sounds very clinical but when you live in a relationship of 4 week chunks it becomes easy to see patterns and not always easy to break out of them! For 4 weeks, I'm single and independent, then have to adjust to being accountable to D and for 4 weeks he's the boss of a big crew doing high-pressured work and he has to readjust to being a "partner" rather than a boss.
On happier subjects - the pups and Shelagh are well. We took them all to the vet for a check up yesterday morning and all is fine. Since then she has turned into the best Mum in the world! When we have to move the pups (which we do very sparingly) she can't bear to be parted from then and her eyes just shine with love for them. She's obsessed, shepherding them around the box, licking them, suckling them. It's lovely to see. She stayed in the box with them constantly from 11am yesterday until we brought them all downstairs to the living room and the fire and then again all night. I had to persuade her downstairs to go out for a wee and she would not go to the back door as too far from the pups! She is a gorgeous mother!!!
I have also been visiting human babies. My friend Kirsten the vet (who I rang for guidance during the whelping) turned out to be less than helpful as she was herself having her child, unfortunately nearly 5 weeks early! They're both fine though and I went to see them yesterday evening. He's only tiny but well and not in an incubator or anything. It made me quite broody for the first time. Think I'll have to get going on this babymaking idea. ...
Happy dieting and training everyone!
Update
I managed another swift 3 mile run this evening with Shelley. I can really feel the progress that I'm making now that I'm running consistently. Whereas Shelley was puffing and panting up the hill, I could have gone a fair bit faster. Shell is naturally a faster runner than me (long skinny legs see) so, at the end, once we were on the flat, she really upped the pace and I was still able to keep up! Great stuff.
So, that's decided it; I've filled in my Sheffield Half Marathon application form and will post it tomorrow. I will have to be going for the training big style to be ready by 27 April!
If I am going to do this half marathon (I haven't put the form in yet - will decide today) I'll have to be constantly increasing the length of my runs every week from here on in. At the moment have been playing it rather safe.
Apart from that, food was okay. I slipped up in the petrol station on the way into Sheffield and bought a Lindor mini egg!! But it could have been worse. Not difficult to identify the trigger for that one - petrol stations are an ever present but also D and I had had just had "words"! Nothing serious or long-lasting but enough for me to just grab at chocolate as I passed. I suppose the good thing is that it was only a small piece of chocolate, in the past that might have been MUCH worse!
When D first arrvies back from the rig, we're always really pleased to see each other but within the first few days we usually snipe at each other. Sometimes the sniping creates bitterness and causes a hangover which last for days. We're trying really hard this time not to let little spats escalate or taint our time together and learn from past mistakes. I think it's a natural period of re-adjusting to each other. D is back in "my" house; he's tired, he's been used to bossing a team of blokes doing a really high pressure job; now he has only me to boss!!; I don't like being bossed (no shit Sherlock!); we haven't been able to talk properly for a month so all new issues arise; a combination of factors...
This though, like with CBT in LL, we're going to try to break the pattern and do things differently so as not to allow the inevitable readjusting to last for half his trip home! So far it seems to be working - what "words" we have had have been expressed and then forgotten (not something D is good at!!) and I'm doing my best not to be the martyr...
That can only help us get to the good times sooner!
This all sounds very clinical but when you live in a relationship of 4 week chunks it becomes easy to see patterns and not always easy to break out of them! For 4 weeks, I'm single and independent, then have to adjust to being accountable to D and for 4 weeks he's the boss of a big crew doing high-pressured work and he has to readjust to being a "partner" rather than a boss.
On happier subjects - the pups and Shelagh are well. We took them all to the vet for a check up yesterday morning and all is fine. Since then she has turned into the best Mum in the world! When we have to move the pups (which we do very sparingly) she can't bear to be parted from then and her eyes just shine with love for them. She's obsessed, shepherding them around the box, licking them, suckling them. It's lovely to see. She stayed in the box with them constantly from 11am yesterday until we brought them all downstairs to the living room and the fire and then again all night. I had to persuade her downstairs to go out for a wee and she would not go to the back door as too far from the pups! She is a gorgeous mother!!!
I have also been visiting human babies. My friend Kirsten the vet (who I rang for guidance during the whelping) turned out to be less than helpful as she was herself having her child, unfortunately nearly 5 weeks early! They're both fine though and I went to see them yesterday evening. He's only tiny but well and not in an incubator or anything. It made me quite broody for the first time. Think I'll have to get going on this babymaking idea. ...
Happy dieting and training everyone!
Update
I managed another swift 3 mile run this evening with Shelley. I can really feel the progress that I'm making now that I'm running consistently. Whereas Shelley was puffing and panting up the hill, I could have gone a fair bit faster. Shell is naturally a faster runner than me (long skinny legs see) so, at the end, once we were on the flat, she really upped the pace and I was still able to keep up! Great stuff.
So, that's decided it; I've filled in my Sheffield Half Marathon application form and will post it tomorrow. I will have to be going for the training big style to be ready by 27 April!
Tuesday, 26 February 2008
Day 9 (x2) - Welcome to the World and all that....
Well, I managed to get some sleep eventually once I was assured that Shelagh seems to be a good mother. I ended up sleeping on a mattress next to her box in case she needed me and that seemed to relax both of us. I woke up every hour or so and after about 5 hours she left the pups for a couple of hours under the heat lamp and got some kip too. When they cried though, she hopped back in the box and looked after them - phew!
The pups are pretty big and hardy and seem to be feeding well which is probably a result of there only being 2 of them. I'm a tiny bit disappointed there aren't more but it will certainly make it easier on all of us only having to care for 2! We're still thinking about names but working titles are currently Mitzi and Marvin! Well, you need to call them something....
Mitzi is the big one with the larger black blotches and Marvin the mainly white boy. They'll both turn silvery grey with black splodges as they get older.
On the food front, I was well impressed with myself that, after D had crashed out and me and Shelagh were feeling our way, I didn't settle into eating for England, especially as the house was newly stocked with food ready for D's return. I made a coffee and a pack and had a small piece of turkey and that was that!
I've had to cancel personal training this morning but will try for a run later when D is up and about. At least I got my 5 miler in last night.
So - thanks for all your good wishes. It's great fun and I'm even looking forward to the chaos ahead. It'll probably distract me from eating if nothing else!!
Monday, 25 February 2008
Omigodomigodomigod.....
Shelagh just had 2 pups! She seemed fine, just tired then D arrived and she came downstairs and sort of greeted him but then we saw blood and gore (D was actually sick!!) and I went upstairs and found a little scrap on the bed!! So we got him (the pup, not D) cleaned up, and sat with her through the next one (a girl) and now she's in her box with her 2 babies, licking them and they're suckling away like old pro's!!
D has been travelling for 27 hours straight through and has just fallen asleep in front of the fire and I'm popping in to check on them all from time to time!!
What a welcome home!
Day 8 (x2)
Shelagh is definitely very near to giving birth. She really didn't want to go to the farmplace where I leave her when I go to work this morning. Normally she races out the door and jumps in the car but today she wanted to stay close to the house. So I left her at home and came back early and worked from home in the afternoon.
I tried to take her for a very gentle walk and she was kind of waddling and wanted to turn back before we were out of sight of the house. Once we turned back though, she was pulling hard and moving faster than I would normally run!! And she's hardly moved from her bed since I've got home. It's not long now!!
I've had a good day. Got lots done this morning then headed home and did another bit at home before heading out for a run. I managed 5.1 miles in 55 minutes so I'm still on 11 minute miles. I don't know whether I should try to speed up or concentrate on longer runs?? Will have to talk to Huw about it tomorrow.
Because I went a little off the rails over the weekend - not too bad but not the right stuff, for example a couple of small sarnies in celebration of our big win in the quiz last night! Well, anyway, because of that I've refocussed on being really strict today and have had no problems. Suspect it's a weekend thing - it'll be easy to stick to the diet all week and then at the weekend, it'll be a nightmare!
I also looked into the Sheffield Half Marathon. It's on Sunday 27 April and I'm sorely tempted. I've got 9 weeks to really get some serious training under my belt and it could be just what I need. Yep - I'm going to go for it! It should make the 10k I've already signed up for in May feel very easy!!
The downside of today is that time of the month has landed and I feel as though I've swallowed a bowling ball and it's currently lodged in my lower belly. I hate it. It only lasts a day or so and not very painful but so uncomfortable! I suppose it means I did all the better actually carrying the bowling ball round for my 5 mile run - yay me!
The (very big) plus side of today is that D is due back from Korea any minute now. I can't wait. I'm going to go downstairs now and light the fire and wait for Shelagh to go mental!
I tried to take her for a very gentle walk and she was kind of waddling and wanted to turn back before we were out of sight of the house. Once we turned back though, she was pulling hard and moving faster than I would normally run!! And she's hardly moved from her bed since I've got home. It's not long now!!
I've had a good day. Got lots done this morning then headed home and did another bit at home before heading out for a run. I managed 5.1 miles in 55 minutes so I'm still on 11 minute miles. I don't know whether I should try to speed up or concentrate on longer runs?? Will have to talk to Huw about it tomorrow.
Because I went a little off the rails over the weekend - not too bad but not the right stuff, for example a couple of small sarnies in celebration of our big win in the quiz last night! Well, anyway, because of that I've refocussed on being really strict today and have had no problems. Suspect it's a weekend thing - it'll be easy to stick to the diet all week and then at the weekend, it'll be a nightmare!
I also looked into the Sheffield Half Marathon. It's on Sunday 27 April and I'm sorely tempted. I've got 9 weeks to really get some serious training under my belt and it could be just what I need. Yep - I'm going to go for it! It should make the 10k I've already signed up for in May feel very easy!!
The downside of today is that time of the month has landed and I feel as though I've swallowed a bowling ball and it's currently lodged in my lower belly. I hate it. It only lasts a day or so and not very painful but so uncomfortable! I suppose it means I did all the better actually carrying the bowling ball round for my 5 mile run - yay me!
The (very big) plus side of today is that D is due back from Korea any minute now. I can't wait. I'm going to go downstairs now and light the fire and wait for Shelagh to go mental!
Sunday, 24 February 2008
Day 7 (x2)
Shelagh showing off her pregnant belly. Actually, you wouldn't know she was pregnant at all unless she lies on her back. I'm well impressed with how well she's kept her figure!
The dreaded whelping box. She's getting used to the idea but, when the time comes, I bet she finds somewhere really awkward for all concerned!!Today wasn't too bad at all. As it happened, going to my parents was not the big temptation I thought it would be. I wasn't there long and it was just really peaceful and pleasant and we didn't go out for a meal or anything so no angst about food. My dad had thought ahead (what a star) and decided that they would have a Chinese meal in the evening after I left.
Mum was in good form too so, all in all, daughterly duties accomplished with much pleasure all round.
Shelagh is very tired nowadays. Her due date is very near (next Friday) and all she wants to do is sleep. I think the drive to Lincolnshire was probably a bit much for her actually. Still, she was an absolute star when we met the couple who would like to buy one of her puppies (all being well). I dropped round on the way to my parents, partly because I think it's better for people to meet the mother before she has pups and gets all protective and partly so I could check that they would be able to provide a suitable home for the pup! They were lovely and their 5 year old daughter was a really sweetie. Shelagh was a big hit too so I'm happy that at least one of her pups will have a lovely home to go to.
I've been mulling over my Rules/non-negotiables for when I'm back eating normally again. One of them is definitely going to be running, probably at least 3 times per week. I was thinking about what Mrs L said about her Expert Friend's determination and then I was watching a film with Sharon Bullock in which illustrated the point perfectly. It was "Premonition" which is about a suburban housewife who keeps waking up either days ahead or days behind her husband's death. Her life is totally topsy turvy as she tries to work out whether she's going mad or actually foretelling her husband's death but still, every morning, she goes for her run!! How cool is that? I'd like to have a figure like SB to!! Really nice and lean but curvy and not scrawny. She makes it look easy but I'm sure it's not....
So, that's one Rule into my book.
Now I had better go and get ready to go out now - it's the final inter-pub quiz match this evening and it's the big grudge fixture against the Derwentwater Arms in Curbar....ooooohh I hear you all say...... wish me luck!
Mum was in good form too so, all in all, daughterly duties accomplished with much pleasure all round.
Shelagh is very tired nowadays. Her due date is very near (next Friday) and all she wants to do is sleep. I think the drive to Lincolnshire was probably a bit much for her actually. Still, she was an absolute star when we met the couple who would like to buy one of her puppies (all being well). I dropped round on the way to my parents, partly because I think it's better for people to meet the mother before she has pups and gets all protective and partly so I could check that they would be able to provide a suitable home for the pup! They were lovely and their 5 year old daughter was a really sweetie. Shelagh was a big hit too so I'm happy that at least one of her pups will have a lovely home to go to.
I've been mulling over my Rules/non-negotiables for when I'm back eating normally again. One of them is definitely going to be running, probably at least 3 times per week. I was thinking about what Mrs L said about her Expert Friend's determination and then I was watching a film with Sharon Bullock in which illustrated the point perfectly. It was "Premonition" which is about a suburban housewife who keeps waking up either days ahead or days behind her husband's death. Her life is totally topsy turvy as she tries to work out whether she's going mad or actually foretelling her husband's death but still, every morning, she goes for her run!! How cool is that? I'd like to have a figure like SB to!! Really nice and lean but curvy and not scrawny. She makes it look easy but I'm sure it's not....
So, that's one Rule into my book.
Now I had better go and get ready to go out now - it's the final inter-pub quiz match this evening and it's the big grudge fixture against the Derwentwater Arms in Curbar....ooooohh I hear you all say...... wish me luck!
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