Hanging in there

The weir at Bamford Mill

Dogs chasing low flying swallows....they're not very bright!

View towards Win Hill from Bamford Mill

Well, to be honest, I'm not really doing very well. I'm not seriously dropping weight at the moment and I feel really fat. I know in my head that I'm still 6 stones lighter than I was last January but I also know that I'm 2 sizes bigger than I was this time last year (16 to last year's size 12/14) and that's just annoying.



I'm not gaining anymore and I have cut back a lot on the picking but I have not fulfilled my goals from last week in that I have not read the Slimming World book and I have not done enough exercise. I have cut right back on picking and not had nearly as much to drink though so 2 out of 4.



So.



Diarmuid has just left for South Korea and will be away for 5 weeks. This means I have NO EXCUSES! I can sort out the fridge. I'm preparing food only for me and I do not need to go out for meals and drink as much.



I have been toying with the idea of doing LL or CD properly for 5 weeks but think that is unsustainable so will do SW PROPERLY (!) for 5 weeks instead. I should be able to lose at least a stone and a half in that time and remind myself how to regulate my intake.



Exercise is key for me too. Because I feel fat, I'm less keen on running. This is strange as I used to go running when I weighed 19 stone but then I didn't know how much easier it could be without the weight. Now I've gone the other way, it seems very painful and often I elect to take the dogs for a walk instead of a run.



Now that D is away there will be no excuse of going for a family walk together rather than a run.....the dogs will just have to learn to enjoy jogging! At least I'm not going as far or as fast these days!



I hope you like the photos, they were taken yesterday evening when the sun shone, which seems a million miles away from the rainy gloom of this morning. There is a lovely enclosed field near the river where the swallows come to feed on sunny evenings and Shelagh loves racing round the field chasing them. She runs as fast as her little legs can carry her and doesn't stop until she can run no more. As she runs, she makes little yipping noises. It's hilarious and just gorgeous to watch, sheer doggie heaven, just natural instinct at play. Minty is not sure what her mum is doing but she joins in gamely. She isn't chasing the swallows though, she's chasing Shelagh!

PS. I just started the 100 Push Up Challenge that Dietgirl is pimping......tiring! I managed 10 first time (proper manly push ups though, not girly on-the-knee ones!) and have done my first work out...watch this space!

Still trying

Well, as to the goals:

• I haven't read the SW book yet but have kept a diet sheet today.
• I haven't been for a run today but it was my day for personal training so ws up with the lark at 7am sweating like a mad thing. It was very hard this morning for some reason but I persevered.


• I've cut right down on the picking. Tally today has been 2 (small) cookies at lunchtime and a slice of bread this evening before going for a walk. I have avoided picking several times though so it is good news.
• Booze not so bad but then it wouldn't be on a Tuesday night! One drink with supper, then water.

Having said that, I have eaten more than I strictly should have as we went for a longer than expected walk along the riverbank and ended up going to the pub for supper. I had Thai Prawn curry and rice with plenty of fresh veg and salad so not too bad. Anyway, I don't really care because it was a lovely evening and it's going to rain for days now and D is back to the rig on Saturday so I want to enjoy this week.

In other news, Minty is losing her baby teeth. I vaguely knew that this happened to pups but it was a bit disconcerting this morning to see one of her canine teeth hanging out of the side of her mouth!! It doesn't seem to be slowing her down any....she had a cracking time by the riverjust romping after Shelagh amd running around in mad little circles. She's not happy going out of her depth in the water yet but is perfectly happy to stand in it up to her chin....little coward.

So - I'm going to avoid the picking at home now and try to make sure that today has been neither good nor bad foodwise, just ok but fun on all other fronts!

Have a great week everyone.

Hmmmmm

A ruined chapel near Lees Hall outside Hathersage. (Reputed to be the Hall which inspired Charlotte Bronte while she wrote Jane Eyre while staying nearby.)

D and one of his bitches...

It was a beautiful day to be out and about messing around with the dogs and Minty is such fun, really enjoying her first forays into the big wide world. Shelagh is enjoying not being the one who has to pose for photos all the time too...

Stay, stay, stay....oh what's the use?!

Not posed at all....


See, Shelagh did come with us but tried to pretend she wasn't with us...the kids can be so annoying....


Well, it was my weigh in tonight and I've had a pretty pathetic 1lb loss. I know, I know...any loss is better than nothing but it could/should have been so much better, I haven't followed the diet at all, just tried to cut back a bit and was lucky to get a loss at all to be honest.




Still, I have stopped the rot, reversed the tide and am steaming (slowly) in the right direction.



I always used to counsel people to set themselves achievable goals when they were struggling so here are mine:

1. Read the Slimming World books and keep a diet sheet for a week.


2. Go for 3 runs this week (I only managed 2 last week and should not have drank as much at the weekend as that was the main reason/excuse for not running over the weekend).


3. Stop the picking. I am doing far too much empty eating. I asked myself today what hole I was trying to fill as I was stuffing my face with more fruit just for the sake of it. Too much picking is undoing the good work when I eat sensibly at mealtimes.
   
4. Minimise the drinking this weekend. i don;t usually drink much as I tend to drive most weekends but I have been drinking more recently as it's easier to walk during the summer months. The drinking itself is not the problem as I'm not really drinking that much but then I sleep in or feel tired the next day and tend to achieve less and not go running. Have a weekend or 2 off the sauce and try to gather the reins again.

That should do for now on the target front.

I was talking to a woman from work today. She is a very large lady who often stopped to congratulate me as I lost the weight last year and we have since become reasonably friendly although we don't see each other often. She has now lost a fair bit of weight and is probably half way to where she wants to be. We were talking about how hard it is to keep going when you start to see the sucess and don't feel as bad about yourself as you did at your heaviest.

We compared eating to alcoholism, drug abuse and smoking. I know the argument but I had one of those lightbulb moments where I realised (afresh...it's not exactly new) that I CAN'T eat what I want and will not be able to do so FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!

It's not so bad. A smoker has to do the same, an alcoholic, a junkie, a gambler....they all have to walk away from their problem of choice...so why shouldn't I walk away from overeating...?

So, on that happy thought I'm going to bed now. Have a good week everyone.

I ran today!!

That's the first time I've managed more than 1 run in a week since Ireland 3 weeks ago. It was hard work but Shelley and I managed 4 steady miles and chatted all the way round apart from while going up the big bastard hill!!

I'm getting back in the groove. Not quite got my head around Slimming World (it is a bit fiddley until it all becomes second nature) but I'm eating well and not going mad. No major indulgences.

Keep it up Les!!

Come on "Big Losers Who Are Struggling"....and there are quite a few of us around at the mo......we can do it. We are NOT going back to fat!!!!

Tuesday evening

Fiona and Nicky (sister and brother in law)
The gorgeous bride. Yes, she's v v slim - in the past she's had to eat shakes to INCREASE her weight....bitch!!
The Irish inlaws plus the newest addition, Kevin

Kevin and Fiona
Fiona and her bridesmaids who were all really nice and a great laugh, especially the blondest one next to her, Sharon, she was a nutter!

Me and D. Don't know why I brought the wrap, it was baking!
I asked my mother inlaw to take this....not a great shot but what can you do?!

Me and D at the party on the Sunday (I was dying of a hangover, really dying! I'd had no more than 2 hours sleep the night before and had been drinking white wine until 9am!!) Still, apart from occasional dips in form, I think I held it together.

So, I finally get around to uploading the wedding pics. As I'm usually the one taking loads of photos (does this stem from mega fat days when I was avoiding being IN them I wonder??!), I realise later that there aren't many of me in them and, the ones that there are, are not great. Obviously because I wasn't taking them.....lol!

Anyway, as you can probably tell from the pics, it was a truly lovely wedding. The weather was amazing and the service and reception just gorgeous. They are a fantastic couple and that showed through in their choices for the ceremony and the reception. Nothing fake or phony just lots of genuine sentiments and beautiful music. Kevin, as well as being a farmer from Cork, is also a talented musician. He plays the bagpipes of all things as well as several other traditional Irish instruments and knows just about any Irish song you could think of. So the wedding was full of music, both traditonal, bagpipes (a LOT of bagpipes) and modern. At the reception loads of people got up to sing or play and at the party at my inlaws on the Sunday, there was live, impromptu music and poetry recitations all day. Brilliant some of them too, some less so but that's part of the charm. Yes, I did sing but not until the minibus on the way into town!!!

It was a very special weekend and I'm so pleased for the 2 of them as they really deserve every good fortune.

The downside is that it set me off on a spiral of eating and not doing much exercise. Although I managed a couple of runs while in Ireland and started off eating carefully, by the end, I was eating and drinking whatever I damn well wanted, pretty much constantly. and it didn't abate when I got home.

The upshot is that I've gained a fair bit. My previous high of 13 stone 4 has been surpassed and I weighed in on Monday morning at 13 stone 8!! Wooo hooo!..........................Not

I went to Slimming World last Monday but then was ill and grumpy and a bit out of control so managed to gain another couple of lbs just to top it off.

But but but....I have stopped the rot. I feel as though I have emerged from a fog and can finally see clearly and take charge again. Why I couldn't do this 3 weeks ago I don't know but there you are. I ran the hilly 31/2 mile route to Slimming World last night despite knowing the tale from the scale would not be a happy one. I have been sticking to the diet reasonably well for 2 days now and am eating in moderation. I am back exercising and, more importantly, wanting to exercise.

I don't know why I got lost in that big hole but I can see the edge now and am clambering out. It's going to take a while but I have time. And friends and good support. I will be back a lot more frequently now that I have emerged from the fog. Thank you for hanging on in there with me.

Hello again

Can you guess which dog it is??

Mum in mid-air, Minty keeping her paws on the ground

Minty - knackered after her big swim!

Me, Shelagh and Mini-Me

Me and Minty

Stick issues - doggie politics are now big in our household...

Hi all. Thanks so much for hanging in there. I know I've been rubbish andI'm not really sure why. A combination of things I think:



I was dieting on the packs before we went to Ireland and I had one very good week and one very bad. I think the bad week unnerved me and I went a bit mad food wise. Then we were in Ireland on hols and it was a very busy hectic time as Diarmuid's sister was getting married so the whole 9 days was geared towards that and not really thinking about myelf or anything.



It wasn't really a holiday to be honest although we had a wonderful time and the wedding was gorgeous.



Then, when I got back, I felt fat, I was very busy at work and I didn't feel very well. Horrid stomach aches and really tired. I think, with hindsight, I had a stomach bug but it only manifested itself after a few days so now I feel much better.



And the final excuse is that the home computer has not been working properly. It kept on shutting down and the mouse was knackered too. That is sorted now so hopefully that won't be a factor.



So, what have I learned?

• That quick fixes are not right for me. No more packs. I lost 10lbs in a week and felt great but then immediately went off the rails and put it all back on again and felt even worse than I did before. Not a great result.
  
  Overall, I'm about the same weight I was before I started back on the packs but it has been very unsettling and a rollercoaster ride.
  


• That I need to get back to thinking about me eating as a way of life (which I was doing before) not as a result based thing. This is NOT a diet, this is what I do.
  
• That it is really easy to get out of the habit of exercising. I'm hanging on by the skin of my teeth at the moment but am shocked how easy it would be to let go.

So - I'm at home today with the remnants of my stomach bug and it's a great opportunity to catch up with myself and others and get my head straight. I went to Slimming World on Monday evening and I'm going to use that to drop the 2 stone which has crept on, gradually and with exercise.

I'm going to enjoy the summer though and not worry too much that I'm a size 14/16 not a size 12!

I felt great over in Ireland and will dig out some posh frocks pics for you but they are in a different place and need to be loaded onto this computer first so thought you could have some doggie porn to tide you over!

Bye for now and thanks for your lovely support. Kiss kiss

Hi again!!!

This is going to be very short and sweet but just to get me back into the swing of typing after such a long break. We've been on holiday to Ireland for a wedding and it was massive. I thought I'd have loads of time to pop in and post but it was mental over there.

I ate loads and had a great time. Now I'm back and ready and raring to go to get back to losing ways and fitness. I will sort out my photos and post a proper post very soon but it is sunny and I want to enjoy a few hours in the garden before the dreaded office calls.

Thanks for all your lovely messages and I hope you're all well too.

Kiss kiss kiss...and a few snogs too......