Firewirks over Sydney Opera House

Firewirks over Sydney Opera House

Saturday, 21 May 2011

Garden Woes (a pictoral depiction) and the great Payday to Payday challenge!

I promised "before pictures of the garden and these are pretty grizzly. They certainly show what a big task we have ahead of us. Which may explain why I'm sitting blogging not grubbing up weeds....

The front garden, to be landscaped by the landlord allegedly. I'm not holding my breath.

The "patio"...well, what will be the patio one day.

One bed cleared and sporting the solitary flower in the entire garden, a straggly bluebell. Also sporting one of 2 ash pits thoughtfully created by the builders.

It WILL be a lawn to the side.. See, I've made a start on the weeding...

Nettle corner. I was hopeful that we would have the garage but it had already been snaffled by another of the tenants...hey ho, she's very nice and runs a gardening business so I'm sure her need is greater.

Shelagh kindly poses on the bonfire patch created by the builders...what to do with a mass of ash? There are 2...

Weeds, everywhere. I think this would once have been a nice little terrace, maybe with veggies as it does get the sun but who knows??

Broken down wall and cronky steps nicely accentuated by an abandoned gas canister..

What's this round the corner in the backyard? Rubbles and a fridge which next door apparently pushed through onto our side before they put up the fence!! How nice of them, a moving in present perhaps?

And a nice little outbuilding - erm, not so much - the roof has caved in and it's a mass of ivy now. To be ignored!

I’ve been getting frustrated with carrying around additional weight since December/January/February. It was not so bad back then as it was cold and clothes were heavier and less revealing of flab. Also, I was blithely confident that I would shed the extra poundage relatively quickly so it didn’t offend me as much.

But it is now May, the start of summer and I’m still a stone heavier than I was last summer/autumn. Others in the blogging community have been diligently working away at getting rid of their Christmas puddings and most have achieved this already and emerged, if not butterfly like, at least not lumpen, blinking into the early spring sunshine. Not me. Grrrr.

I have looked back over my posts and see that I have started several attempts to actually lose some weight over the last few months but not followed through AT ALL. Worse, I have talked about starting. I have said that I’m “getting round to” starting. But have not done anything in honest reality.

I have, at best, stopped the rot and stopped gaining weight. I have not put on any weight for a few months now and have settled at this level without too much difficulty. But I’m not happy with this level and I’m also mightily a’feared that if I stay here for the summer I’ll gain another stone next winter and thus will start the great slide down the slippery slope. To continue with the analogy, I was last summer residing on a comfortable, sunny ledge near to the top of the mountain. I’ve now descending to a slightly scrubbier slope, less grassy and more shaded but still not bad. I do NOT want to trundle blindly further back down into the dark, dank valley below….

I’m just eating and drinking too many treats and not doing sufficient exercise. It’s as simple as that. The classic curse of a being in a happy, settled new relationship. I remember reading all those Slimming World/WW/LL/CD success stories and loads of them cite moving in with a new partner as a cue for gaining weight. No excuses though, Richard doesn’t seem to have put on any weight (although to be fair he is probably eating more healthily and doing more exercise than before!!)

I have, therefore, prepared a 30 day table on which I am recording my daily weight, food (in general terms) and exercise. I'm calling it P2P (payday to payday as I coincidentally started it on my payday - perhaps I'll treat myself to something nice if I lose some proper weight this month!?) It’s worked before (when I’ve stuck to it) and it’s going to work again. If it does not, I will rethink. I WILL lose this stone THIS summer.

By way of an incentive, we’re going on holiday around September somewhere hot involving a pool, maybe the sea and lots of lovely golf courses (probably Turkey) and I want to be proud of myself during that trip. I want to look and feel good, be fit and active and be able to enjoy it to the full.

As a postscript, it is so refreshing to be able to write about a weight gain without fear. Without excuses and without “side”. With D I would have been scared of the abuse which would inevitably follow and crushed by the sense of failure and shame. I would have been in a world of desperation and my only recourse would have been to hide: in food; in drink; from the world; behind a full face of make up; however I could. God, it was a sad time and a wonder I managed to haul myself out of it at all. Thank God for Lighter Life. And thank God I've found a bloke who loves me for me, unconditionally.


Claire said...

You clearly demonstrate why you are in a better place (and relationship) now. I want to lose at least a stone by September. Lets support each other. x

Hetty said...

I think you've done phenomenally well to only have put a little bit on given all the upheaval you've had and it's always so much fun having someone new to share food and booze with. I put 3 stone on when I went through a similar break-up/starting over/new relationship/family and friend issues/moving house 3 times debacle! It sounds like you are now in a brilliant place with a lovely man and so much to look forward to. I'm sure the weight will drop back off on the P2P plan. There's gotta be 100,000 cals worth of weeding in those pics alone! :) Hetty.