One bed cleared and sporting the solitary flower in the entire garden, a straggly bluebell. Also sporting one of 2 ash pits thoughtfully created by the builders.
I’ve been getting frustrated with carrying around additional weight since December/January/February. It was not so bad back then as it was cold and clothes were heavier and less revealing of flab. Also, I was blithely confident that I would shed the extra poundage relatively quickly so it didn’t offend me as much.
But it is now May, the start of summer and I’m still a stone heavier than I was last summer/autumn. Others in the blogging community have been diligently working away at getting rid of their Christmas puddings and most have achieved this already and emerged, if not butterfly like, at least not lumpen, blinking into the early spring sunshine. Not me. Grrrr.
I have looked back over my posts and see that I have started several attempts to actually lose some weight over the last few months but not followed through AT ALL. Worse, I have talked about starting. I have said that I’m “getting round to” starting. But have not done anything in honest reality.
I have, at best, stopped the rot and stopped gaining weight. I have not put on any weight for a few months now and have settled at this level without too much difficulty. But I’m not happy with this level and I’m also mightily a’feared that if I stay here for the summer I’ll gain another stone next winter and thus will start the great slide down the slippery slope. To continue with the analogy, I was last summer residing on a comfortable, sunny ledge near to the top of the mountain. I’ve now descending to a slightly scrubbier slope, less grassy and more shaded but still not bad. I do NOT want to trundle blindly further back down into the dark, dank valley below….
I’m just eating and drinking too many treats and not doing sufficient exercise. It’s as simple as that. The classic curse of a being in a happy, settled new relationship. I remember reading all those Slimming World/WW/LL/CD success stories and loads of them cite moving in with a new partner as a cue for gaining weight. No excuses though, Richard doesn’t seem to have put on any weight (although to be fair he is probably eating more healthily and doing more exercise than before!!)
I have, therefore, prepared a 30 day table on which I am recording my daily weight, food (in general terms) and exercise. I'm calling it P2P (payday to payday as I coincidentally started it on my payday - perhaps I'll treat myself to something nice if I lose some proper weight this month!?) It’s worked before (when I’ve stuck to it) and it’s going to work again. If it does not, I will rethink. I WILL lose this stone THIS summer.
By way of an incentive, we’re going on holiday around September somewhere hot involving a pool, maybe the sea and lots of lovely golf courses (probably Turkey) and I want to be proud of myself during that trip. I want to look and feel good, be fit and active and be able to enjoy it to the full.
As a postscript, it is so refreshing to be able to write about a weight gain without fear. Without excuses and without “side”. With D I would have been scared of the abuse which would inevitably follow and crushed by the sense of failure and shame. I would have been in a world of desperation and my only recourse would have been to hide: in food; in drink; from the world; behind a full face of make up; however I could. God, it was a sad time and a wonder I managed to haul myself out of it at all. Thank God for Lighter Life. And thank God I've found a bloke who loves me for me, unconditionally.