Monday 29 October 2018

Re-think and re-focus (and stop being sad)

I am heading towards a very disappointing weigh in tomorrow. I'm not quite back up to where I started 3 weeks ago but very nearly. Now, only a stupid woman would ignore the signs and I'm not always a stupid woman!

While the dieting side of things has not been sucessful, the diary and accountability side has been happening throughout the last 3 weeks although ominously I have felt it starting to slide this last week.  I'm not going to ignore the danger signs this time. I'm going to make some urgent adjustments to what I've been doing to make sure that I start heading back in the right direction pronto.

Luckily this desire for change coincides with a) me feeling healthier so running and the gym can come back onto the agenda; b) my purchase (out of my treat/reward fund) of a new Fitbit Charge 3 to replace the Charge 2 which died over the summer; and c) a lovely sunny Monday.

I am working from home today so am going to go running this lunchtime. I have already logged my calories via my fitbit app and am going back to the calorie counting which yielded results previously.

I'll be posting a bit more frequently too although it seems very quiet around here at the mo. I hope everyone is ok and doing well.

By the by, I'm hoping that the weight increase has something to do with TOTM as I thought last week. I have been feeling so emotional and teary over the last couple of weeks. I put it down in part to feeling poorly but it has persisted for quite a long time. I wouldn't say I'm depressed but I do feel dragged down by bad news and somewhat overwhelmed by life. I told Rich how I felt last week and his practical, male reaction was heartfelt and comforting but not exactly cuddley or lovey dovey.

That's what I feel I want, more cuddles and overt comfort. I need to tell him as its absence makes me alternately snappy and then distraught. My emotions are more extreme than usual and close to the surface. Might this be early signs of the menopause peeps?

We went to Birmingham for the footie over the weekend. It was partly fun but also a bit of a chore. We lost so I didn't get the adrenaline rush of a victory and, as is usual for me nowadays, I just felt a bit down on the whole excursion. Not all the time but quite a bit.




It was the same when we went out golfing on Sunday. It was a stunning morning but our round was painfully slow due to some selfish, arrogant young chaps in front of us. Usually I would be the one cheering us up and looking for the positives but yesterday our round was ruined and my golfing head was mush. They eventually let us through at the halfway mark and we teamed up with 2 lady golfer pals which redeemed the day but it is not like me. I just feel more fragile than usual. Like I'm teetering on the brink of tears or disaster all the time.

I'm not sure if my weight and seeming inability to do anything about it is a factor but suspect it must be, albeit not the main one. 

I'm also not sure what to do about it other than to keep on keeping on and to talk to Richard.

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