A little cheerier

I was due to play golf this morning but then, due to 1 pair dropping out as their flight back from Turkey was delayed and my partner not being able to play late once the frost had disappeared, suddenly I was Billy No Mates. And it was a gorgeous sunny morning! Grrr....

Luckily another woman found herself in the same situation so we paired up. We went out as soon as the course opened in a pair rather than a 4 ball and belted round the course. It was marvellous.

I would have been v grumpy if I had missed out on that glorious morning.

I'm still plugging away and not going crazy with the food and I'm feeling a bit less volatile so hopefully things are on the up (and down in the case of the scales).

However, a new challenge has arisen this morning....I dutifully carved and displayed my pumpkin and purchased a bag of sweeties to give away. Usually we have quite a few kids knocking but so far - none! Richard is quite excited about the goodies - he doesn't approve of giving sweets away - but I am thinking of the temptation.

He will have to take them to work!!

Small relief - Week 7 weigh in

By some miracle, the scales relented and granted me a drop of 1lb. I am amazed as yesterday and the day before I was lumbering away at 16.3.2 and this morning I sneaked in at 16.0.8.

It is my kharmic reward for continuing to step on the scales each morning and for making my re-start yesterday with a lunchtime run and calorie counted day. A modest drop but I'll take it.

Putting it in context, I have managed to drop a somewhat measley 3lbs in 3 weeks. I must do better but at least I have done something.

I will be going for another run this evening to consolidate the tightened up regime. I enjoyed my run yesterday so have no excuses. If it is chucking it down, I will go to the gym. Come on!!!

Re-think and re-focus (and stop being sad)

I am heading towards a very disappointing weigh in tomorrow. I'm not quite back up to where I started 3 weeks ago but very nearly. Now, only a stupid woman would ignore the signs and I'm not always a stupid woman!

While the dieting side of things has not been sucessful, the diary and accountability side has been happening throughout the last 3 weeks although ominously I have felt it starting to slide this last week.  I'm not going to ignore the danger signs this time. I'm going to make some urgent adjustments to what I've been doing to make sure that I start heading back in the right direction pronto.

Luckily this desire for change coincides with a) me feeling healthier so running and the gym can come back onto the agenda; b) my purchase (out of my treat/reward fund) of a new Fitbit Charge 3 to replace the Charge 2 which died over the summer; and c) a lovely sunny Monday.

I am working from home today so am going to go running this lunchtime. I have already logged my calories via my fitbit app and am going back to the calorie counting which yielded results previously.

I'll be posting a bit more frequently too although it seems very quiet around here at the mo. I hope everyone is ok and doing well.

By the by, I'm hoping that the weight increase has something to do with TOTM as I thought last week. I have been feeling so emotional and teary over the last couple of weeks. I put it down in part to feeling poorly but it has persisted for quite a long time. I wouldn't say I'm depressed but I do feel dragged down by bad news and somewhat overwhelmed by life. I told Rich how I felt last week and his practical, male reaction was heartfelt and comforting but not exactly cuddley or lovey dovey.

That's what I feel I want, more cuddles and overt comfort. I need to tell him as its absence makes me alternately snappy and then distraught. My emotions are more extreme than usual and close to the surface. Might this be early signs of the menopause peeps?

We went to Birmingham for the footie over the weekend. It was partly fun but also a bit of a chore. We lost so I didn't get the adrenaline rush of a victory and, as is usual for me nowadays, I just felt a bit down on the whole excursion. Not all the time but quite a bit.

It was the same when we went out golfing on Sunday. It was a stunning morning but our round was painfully slow due to some selfish, arrogant young chaps in front of us. Usually I would be the one cheering us up and looking for the positives but yesterday our round was ruined and my golfing head was mush. They eventually let us through at the halfway mark and we teamed up with 2 lady golfer pals which redeemed the day but it is not like me. I just feel more fragile than usual. Like I'm teetering on the brink of tears or disaster all the time.

I'm not sure if my weight and seeming inability to do anything about it is a factor but suspect it must be, albeit not the main one. 

I'm also not sure what to do about it other than to keep on keeping on and to talk to Richard.

Disappointing weigh in but not giving up

On the plus side, I have stuck to writing down all week and not had any major blowouts. On the minus, I have clearly not done enough as I weighed 16.1.8 this morning which is 0.5lb ON! Grrr

I suspect this is due to a 3-way combo of TOTM, too many carbs (see previous) and not doing any sweaty exercise due to effects of the tail end of my cough/cold.

While I ate in a reasonably restrained manner, our meals were a bit carb heavy which you just can't get away with unless you are burning more calories through proper exercise.

I'm feeling much better this week so that is going to change! No excuses.

In other news I was in Sheffield for a course yesterday morning (womanfully resisting a basket of croissants and pains au chocolats for several hours). It was quite a tough course made tougher by the fact that we were a satellite office being beamed the presentation from Nottingham so we had to concentrate extra hard to hear what was going on.

I emerged at 2pm feeling as though I had done a full day's work to see Sheffield city centre basking in sunshine. Most uplifting.

The beautiful Peace Gardens behind the Town Hall. Sooo much nicer now that the awful yellow 1960s "Eggbox" office building has been demolished!

The Town Hall (although Sheffield is, of course, a City but City Hall, confusingly is a concert venue just round the corner!).

The Women of Steel statue belatedly honouring the women who kept the steelworks going during the wars which is very modest but pleasing; just outside City Hall.

 Today I have train woes.  I got on the wrong train at Sheffield this morning and, instead of heading to Rotherham on the York train found myself heading towards Lincoln. I got off at Woodhouse near the old Orgreave Colliery and took a taxi to work. Sigh. In my defence, the Lincoln train pulled up on the York train platform, at the right time and the board was still showing York. Silly me!

My train back this evening from Rotherham was delayed and me and 2 lovely older gentlemen missed our commection by a whisker. Our train which had left bang on time then pulled up 50 metres down the track and sat there for at least 5 minutes. Double sigh.

Ah well, the hour on Sheffield station has allowed me to tap out this post!

I was amused to discover that the 2 older chaps had spent a happy day riding the rails for a tenner - some ranger ticket or something. From Chinley to Sheffield, Huddersfield, York, Bridlington and back. Mentalists.

At lunchtime I walked up to Rotherham Market to view the poppy display. Over 18,000 hand made poppies from all over. Quite charming.

Beautiful days on the golf course

We played golf on Friday afternoon in the final outing for our golf society. Throughout the summer we go to different courses within a 90 minute radius of the Valley roughly every once a month which is great but we always play our last game at home.

It was a glorious afternoon; jumpers off and gorgeous views. We were playing with 2 good pals, Darren and JD so lots of fun and banter. JD is one of the most generous (in terms of encouragement etc) and kind blokes I know. He has really welcomed me into the blokeish fold. I must thank him some time now I come to think of it.

I didn't play very well but cleaned up 2 nearest to the pins. Richard missed out on winning the day and the whole season by one single shot. Poor bunny. However it was his last day as Society Captain and he gave a nice little speech at the prize giving before we had to dash off to Sheffield for the football.

Yes, the mighty Wednesday were hosting 'Boro at Hillsborough. Sadly for us (but not for Seren's household) they were too strong for us. Not much in it but our underconfident defence gifted them a second goal and although we rallied and got one back, we couldn't find the equaliser. Gah!

This morning's golf started early - 7.45am! It was a 3 person team with another mate called John. Unlike JD, John needed to be convinced about lady golfers when I first arrived on the scene but he is well on board now. We played well as a team today in a Texas Scramble but were a couple short of the winning team. Hey ho, another time.

I was full of the joys of autumn as it was a heart warming morning. Misty at first with a heavy dew but gradually the mist cleared. I love that point before it disappears completely when it hangs in the valley but the hills behind emerge all pinky, greeny grey. Not a breath of wind either. Then the sun burned through and it became a glorious day. Big, happy sighs.

Rich took the girls out for a long hilly walk this afternoon but I fancied some time in the garden keeping on top of the autumn chores. It was a satisfying few hours of clearing leaves; hacking back the grapevine; picking up windfall apples to take to our local butcher and pig farmer; sweeping; tidying and organising. It looks better now!

Rich is golfing again tomorrow but I think I'm going to have another day of dog walking, more gardening, cooking (getting batches of stewed apple into the freezer!) and some wedding chores. I'm out at the quiz tomorrow night so a day around the mothership sounds good.

On the diet front, it's not going particularly well this week. I think I'm doing alright but possibly TOTM and the cold stopping me from running is against me. I will stick to my guns!

(BTW, sorry for the lack of photos, I need to upload pictures and vids from my mobile to clear some memory space before it will let me take any more!!)

Glorious autumn

For someone recovering from a nasty cold I have had a very hectic few days. A charity fashion show in the village on Tuesday; golf in the morning and a trip to Sheffield to the theatre to see "The Band" (the Take That musical) last night; panto and darts and dominoes tonight; golf and Middlesbrough at home on Friday. Roll on Saturday when I can be at one with the sofa for a night!

The Band was a great night out. I went with Carolyn, my future MIL It is a fun musical about teenaged TK fans in the 1990s who then meet up 25 years later. Their hopes, dreams, the music, what they achieved or didn't achieve. A young boy band dancing and crooning all the hits. Marvellous.

I do love a predominantly female audience too (especially a northern one) - so warm and keen to have a good time. There always seems to be less desire to be cool or be impressed.

The charity fashion show was similarly warm and good fun. A multi-generational crowd out supporting the local Guide group with generosity and raucous good humour.

Tonight's events will be more mixed and then tomorrow I'm back to my more usual "boy" type activities of golf and footie.

Through it all I have worked hard at sticking to the diet and not using the nights out as an excuse for treats. I had one small glass of wine on Tuesday and a flat white last night but turned down more wine and snacks on Tuesday and booze or interval ice-creams yesterday.

News on the scales is that I had a lb hike yesterday which has near as dammit disappeared this morning. It was a wekcome reminder not to ease up! A stone off before Christmas is my mantra!!

Today I am working from home and it has been glorious! I took the dogs for a longer and hillier than usual lunchtime walk which was just heavenly.

 I hope that little lot gives you a deep lungful of pure autumn. It certainly did me.

Week 1 (ha!!)

I wonder how many "week 1"s I've had over the years?? A lot I'm guessing.

In this case I can't even decide on the day of my weigh in. I re-started last Monday so it should be yesterday but I had been weighing on a Tuesday since I started on this latest diet which I'm technically still following....

It is a moot point as I weighed the same yesterday as today so from now on I am going to stick with Tuesdays.

I weighed in at 16.1.2 which is a nice healthy drop of 2.6lbs in a week. Happy with that.

This next week is the tester though - sticking to the diary, the dieting, fitting more exercise in and just generally keeping on keeping on. I need to keep the pressure on and also, as I start to feel better, up my game as well.

Autumn has hit the Peaks. The fields have greened up after the baked brown of the summer and I have been picking mushrooms on my dogs walks. Beautiful leaf colours too. It was a grey day for our dog walk yesterday but nice to see water in the brook and lovely to see the autumn berries and colours.

Very tired

Although I'm functioning alright through the back end of this cold, I'm very tired and quite melancholy too. I get easily frustrated, easily annoyed, easily down and am readily teary. Maybe it is that time of the month combined with physical weakness dragging me down. Boo hoo, poor me - suck it up snowflake!

That being the case I'm quite proud of myself for sticking to my guns diet wise. I have turned down biscuits and cakes, sandwiches and all sorts. As long as the scales don't have some sort of cosmic shudder tomorrow morning I should be able to post a healthy drop in my first week.

(But it's not really cheering me up, I just keep thinking about that 3 months I wasted in diet terms....Eeyore being alive and well and living in Derbyshire....)

So, let's look to the positives: I have managed to start dieting again, properly. A full week of diary entries; a full week of planning and restrained eating and drinking; a decent drop on the scales; regular blogging; control reinstated.  All while I felt rotten and couldn't do any sweaty exercise.

I'll drink to that. Actually I already did - a gin and  slimline at our first quiz of the new season this evening, which gin was planned and only permitted as long as I denied myself any post match sandwiches. Our captain had bailed out with a hangover but we still managed a good win so we were all buzzing. I also had a cheeky glass of red wine when I got in as Rich had opened a bottle of rioja but that was only my 4th drink of the week, 3 gins and a glass of wine. I can live with that.

We had a lovely walk this evening too. It rained all day here so we didn't take the dogs out til late and were rewarded with a totally  unexpected burst of golden sunshine illuminating  Bradwell Edge. Short-lived  but glorious.

So here's to onwards and upwards next week to follow up this good start!

Second go round, second wind

Carolyn and I went to a different wedding dress shop this morning. We didn't have much time as Carolyn had to be at work this afternoon so we were first in dead on 10am. We managed to try another 8 dresses and found 2 or 3 contenders. The trouble is, I want some more weight off before I can commit to which will be nicer....aaargh!!

Why did I have 3 months off this summer?? Why?!!

Well I did so I had better stop whining and just get on with it. A stone off before Christmas is perfectly do-able and would make ALL the difference.

One element which I hadn't anticipated being a major problem is my back! I never think about back fat....why would I, no-one ever sees it?? It is suddenly the worst bit of my body! Corsets and low v backs leave me with what I have just realised is "bum back"!  That definitely needs to be minimised or covered up!!

I'm not over dramatising, honest, look....

This one fitted nicely but was probably a bit "much".....even if I do sort the bum back out!!

This one is too tight and doesn't come in the bigger size but I reckon a stone off would sort it out but then will almost certainly need to hide or alter the back which is v low.

Hello gym, hello personal trainer, hello running.

Diet wise, I'm heading for a decent drop this week and the diary is still up to date. The cold is stopping me exercising apart from dog walks but I'm starting again tomorrow.

Bring. It. On.

Wedding dresses

Well, I didn't find THE dress but I know what sort of thing suits me now. Wedding dresses are such odd beasts; not like anything else you wear, complete one-offs. So I entered the fray with an open mind and tried on all sorts - full skirted tea length, fit and flare, strapless, flowy evening dress style, and many, many more.

Annoyingly sizes tended to the small side so I was looking at 20's in the main which limited my choice a little but then others were too big in 18 and no 16s! Sigh. We did a lot of "that skirt with that neckline" etc but only one dress was ultimately good enough to buy and they only had it in size 24! Doh! It was hanging off me but with the lady from the shop holding it in at the back it was lovely.

The Newcastle branch has it in 18 so if I can get a stone off pdq then maybe I could still get it!!

As it was quiet (only us in) I persuaded the 2 ladies to let Carolyn try a couple of frocks on as well as she had never worn one. She was "In like Flynn" and so thrilled. The first was very Audrey Hepburn, very sophisticated with boat neckline and a silvery diamante belt at empire line but not photo of that one as a no photo rule and the ladies were hanging around. When we got to the second though, they got into the spirit and "diasappeared" while I took some pics. This one was epic! A big princessy frock and Carolyn loved the whole thing!

 We're going again to a different store tomorrow to strike while the iron is hot! Can't quite believe it!

Day 4 - first challenges

It was to be a long and difficult day but, although I slept a lot better and felt much brighter, I still felt achy this morning so decided to work from home. I don't see the point in dragging myself 25 miles, using up diesel and my meagre reserves of energy and infecting my colleagues when I work just as effectively from home.

I had 2 brief meetings with colleagues which I suggested we convert to telephone calls. BOTH then emailed me to say that they were going to re-arrange to next week anyway. I would have been seriously irritated if I'd gone in for them!

So, first stress of the day removed.

I also cancelled french as I didn't think Helen would thank me for the germs. Second pressure gone.

So then it was just panto rehearsal this evening followed by darts and dominoes and both of those are more fun and will enabled me to keep my distance from people.

Panto was fun but to be honest Belle is a bit of a dullard/goodie goodie. I'm going to have to uummpf her up a bit or I will die of boredom!

Carolyn is getting uber excited about wedding dresses today so I got a bit into the spirit myself. A grotty cold doesn't help but I'm not going to re-arrange or I'll never get round to it! Half of me is a bit nervous to be honest...what if my hopes/expectations don't match the reality?? Well in that case I re-think and go in a different direction. It's not as if there isn't a lovely dress out there for me or as if the dress is the most important thing anyway!

Part of the reason Carolyn is so excited is that she didn't have the whole wedding dress experience. They didn't have much money back then as Gordon already had a family and Registry Office weddings were lower key so she wore a lemon 2 piece from M&S. She was in her twenties but the day looks much older in photographs. Which is sad for her but what is important is that she and Gordon have made a great relationship over the last 35 or so years.

Maybe we'll get her in a frock today!!

In diet news, I'm still diary'ing, resisting the extras and have dropped nearly 2 lbs since Monday. No exercise other than dog walks due to the cold but that will come.

Another day on the diary

That's 3 in a row now! My weight on the scales this morning was a firm stay-the-same but I can live with that.

I felt so grim with my cold that I didn't even try to work from home. I slept right through to 10.30 and then had a very quiet day at home. It has been a beautiful day though so I spent most of the afternoon in the garden.

I achieved quite a lot in a very slow, restful kind of way punctuated by many breaks: weeding, removing dead bedding plants, moving a few misplaced plants now that the beds aren't set like concrete, planting some more bulbs and just generally tidying up.

It looks quite nice now although it could do with more late colour so will see what I can do about that next year.

We went for an evening walk when Rich came home from work, not very hilly or energetic but it was as much as I could manage. Pretty though.

I'm pleased that I have stuck to my plan today despite feeling poorly. It helped that our panto wardrobe lady texted me to ask for my dress size this morning. I had to admit to 18 but said that I was aiming for 16 by February. Which does not make it easy for her!!

Anyway, another day under my belt so all is good. I'm off to cook my Moroccan fish curry for supper now....huuuungry!