Day 9 -92

Good, the home computer is back up so I can post properly again. I was missing it, which, considering I've never had a blog or even a diary before, is very strange.

Also at last, I finally feel well. I think I've just about shaken the cold and I have more energy. Thank God - I was getting really bored of posting whiney remarks about how bad I feel. I've never taken so many over-the-counter drugs either. I don't normally take anything but this time have been popping pills like a junkie... not good.

Went the footie today. Both me and Jim (the friend I go to the football with) were concerned whether we would have as much fun as we usually do in the pub before the game, what with me drinking only water. It was a bit strange at first as half the fun is picking what bitter we're going to be on this week so a pint of sparkling water with ice but no lemon just didn't quite cut it. Then came the tricky moment of Jim ordering his chip buttie - normally I would have a steak sandwich but "nothing" it was for me today! We did seem a little subdued today to be honest but we worked hard on the chat and suddenly it came through for us and we had as good a time as we usually do. Phew..

I noticed a big dip in energy on my way home and realised that I hadn't eaten since I left home at 12. I think you have to be quite careful to eat the packs quite regularly and not leave too long between them, especially if you're being active, ie. walking up and down Penistone Road.

But, despite the downsides of this diet I am convinced it is the right thing for me to do at this time. I've never been more motivated and there's no way I could be thinking about the sorts of things I have been thinking about if I was in the middle of a conventional diet - all you have head room to think about on those is food! This break from shopping, cooking and even eating is quite relaxing in a strange kind of way. I've been thinking a lot about food but in a positive way. For example, I've been thinking about cooking really healthy, interesting food not about "rewarding" myself with a pack of biscuits or something equally stupid.

I've obviously used food so badly over the years as a treat, a reward, a gift and a consolation. That is now going to change.