-10

Stats:

Weight - 12 stone 9 lbs. II didn't expect to see any downward motion today given that I've lost 9lbs in 4 days!

Exercise - Ran up Win Hill with Kate carrying a backpack! I'll explain below.

Abstinence - So far so good. Plenty of water and a pack for breakfast.

I've got the day off today for 2 reasons. Firstly it is the 65th anniversary of the Dambuster Raids on the Moehne Dam in Germany and they were doing a memorial flypast over the Derwent, Howden and Ladybower Reservoirs near where I live. When the Dambuster Squadron was preparing for their big raids during WW2 with Barnes Wallis's bouncing bombs, they used this valley for training. They used the Howden Dam towers to learn how to "sight" the target and when to drop the bombs so that they would bounce along the water and into the dam walls.

I'm from Lincolnshire originally which is where 617 Squadron are based (RAF Scampton) so I have a connection with the story both ways. Anyway, it was good morning out. We ran up Win Hill with the 2 dogs and joined the throng at the summit to see the Lancatser Bomber, Spitfire, Hurricane, Dakota and a couple of Tornados flying low over the reservoirs and through the valley. They flew so low over the houses that we were hundreds of feet above them. It was gorgeous! We then flew down the hill at a helter skelter pace.....dangerous but fun. I have taken lots of pictures but not yet uploaded and sorted them.

This afternoon, I have to be a bit more girly and go shopping for an outfit for D's sister's wedding. Not my cup of tea really but I least I feel less lardy now and have dropped a few lbs.

I'm still reading a chapter a day of Marisa and I'm going to try and do some homework on that too. Today's chapter concerned the language we use. NLP I suppose. Her main point is that the word "lose" is one of the most negative thing we can say. Everything associated with loss is negative and associated by our brains with pain.....except when we say we want to lose weight! But our brains hear the word "lose" and fight against it thinking that we must try to regain what we have lost as is natural in all other spheres, hence the difficulty we have in "losing" weight. So, she says we should focus on what we are gaining....I want to become slim and fit into size 12 clothes, for example. Not that I want to "lose" weight. Makes sense.

So I'm going to shed some unwanted fat and gain a new, slim, fit , healthy body. Ok?!

Also, you should try and avoid the self-deprecating stuff we all do as your brain believes it and tries to make it come true! So no more negative tuff about yourself or "trying" to shed lbs. No more I "wish" I were thin. It is "I am going to achive my goals!". I suppose visualisation is the next step.....

Hope you like my girls. Minty is really coming on isn't she? She has her second lot of jabs on Monday so she'll be out and about soon!

Update - I've had a pretty good day. I managed to find not one but 2 cute dresses so now just to put together the accessories. I've just had a try on of various shoes and necklaces and have adecent outfit now if I was desperate but would like to try for better (read new...)! I'm turning into a girl at last!!

I struggled like mad with craving food this evening though and sooo nearly gave in. I did the prowling round the kitchen thing, opening cupboards and fridges etc searching for something....anything. But, luckily, there is nothing in. I managed to talk myself out of everything bar a couple of tiny slices of cheese (which I don't really like much hence they were so small...). I tried to be adult and sensible about it, to analyse why I wanted to eat so badly and eventually managed to convince myself that I didn't really want it.

I think, with hindsight, that it is becuse I've had a good day but was tired that the desire to eat crept in. 2 triggers there.

However, now, having had my trying on session and feeling foxy, I do not want anything!! yay. Not only that, I've just put on my outfit for the pub this eveningand it is noticeably more comfortable and better fitting than it was last weekend. It was really tight on the thighs last w/e so I had to keep yanking on the jeans. Now they fit perfectly and the top doesn't have to be tugged down and doesn't catch on my flabby back ('cos it isn't...!). That is the best feeling. I'm still wearing the wrong size (altho' I note that both top and jeans are 13's so not too bad)but I look good in what I'm wearing and I'm not growing any more.

Hallelujah!