Decisions decisions...

I'm STILL vacilating between radical action a la LL or CD to lose weight or more gentle and slower normal dieting process. Sometimes I'm so frustrated with myself that I've gained the weight (not all of it I hasten to add!) and feel lardy and fat and other times I look at my figure and think that it really suits me.

Sometimes I think the long slow process of adjusting my diet is the best answer and other times I think that I'm copping out doing that as it'll just mean I slowly GAIN weight and I should take action NOW to lose quickly and then really concentrate on keeping it off.

My head is a mess when it comes to making decisions....

On the plus side, I've been doing a steady amount of exercise. It's a very rare day when I don't do anything and then there's usually a good reason. I've also been making some good food choices and not pigging out so I'm not currently gaining weight just holding on by the tips of my fingernails!

Ultimately, I think I want to do the abstinence thing again and then try to reintroduce food properly - I feel as though I didn't get to grips with RTM - didn't do it properly at all. Maybe that's just an excuse but it's a recurring one! To aid that, my LLC has retired so I wouldn't go back to her. By the end I felt I had really lost faith in her and felt that she didn't care (I was ultimately proved right as her early retirement shows). She seemed to be coasting along and her advice/counselling had an insincere air about it. So - I have been given some new names and think I will call them to start afresh, if only for a few weeks. I really want to be slim for my sister in law's wedding in May!!!

In the meantime, I'm concentrating on the eating as I don't want to lose it then gain it again ad nauseam....

It's weird how decisions can be made as you write...I've had all this stuff in my head and sitting down to express some of it has seemed to crystallize my thoughts.

Hope you like the pictures of my pregnant doggie. She is really milking it - she's doing the doggie equivalent of resting her paws over her curving belly at the moment and when she gets out of her basket I swear she braces herself with her paws at the small of her back!!! Sometimes she looks at me with her big brown eyes and seems to be saying "what the hell have you done to me" and there's a lot of big sighs going on...but I think she's quite excited inside - she's definitely become very serene and matronly - a lot less jumpy and waggy than she was. Little fraud. (that's enough of the anthropomorphism...Ed.)

I've given her a really short sensible "Mummy" haircut so she's ready for the big day and now all we can do is wait and hope that the pups are healthy and that she is a good mum to them and I'm a good nana!!