Day 4 (x2)

Every now and then I like to take a really grumpy photo of Shelagh. I think she does grumpy quite well!!
She's in full stick-burying mode here. She gets really furtive and purposeful and hates it if I see where she chooses to bury her beloved sticks. I just hope she doesn't try and do the same with her puppies!!

I'm working from home today so, after an early start, I'm enjoying the freedom of being able to check out blogs without the nasty "Websense" filter popping up! I suppose it's only fair to expect me to work while I'm at work but, honestly!!

It's another frosty morning but no glorious sunshine today so I think the lovely crisp wintry days are on their way out now. My garden is frozen and white and there are birds crowding every branch waiting their turn to get to the bird feeders. I've just had a cloud of long tailed tits descend and there are a good dozen blackbirds on the ground clearing up the sunflowers seeds dropped by the messy green finches and gold finches! I'm pretty religious about feeding the birds and now, after a couple of years of consistent food supply, there are masses of them, especially on such cold days when all other sources of food are rare.

The irony did strike me, as I poured out another huge batch of sunflower seed hearts, that I'm keen to find the most highly calorific food for my birds while seeking to limit my own calories as much as humanly possible!

The pond is frozen and next door's horses are currently charging round the field bucking and playing and all is pretty much right with the world. I'm not sure whether I could work from home all the time but I certainly love it once in a while!

Foodwise, I'm doing alright on the packs. I must admit to having a few splashes of skimmed milk in my tea and coffee but only have 2 or 3 each day so not excessive. I just can't seem to be able to go back to black. I rationalise it by saying that I'm freezing and need something tiny to make me happy to stay on the packs and so far it is working. I haven't had any headaches yet (although I wonder if one might be coming on) and my stick turned pale pink last night so I know I'm heading into ketosis and I have definitely lost a few lbs already so it's coming along.

The CD packs are nice. Towards the end on LL I had lost interest in all flavours other than chocolate, vanilla, banana muffin and mushroom soup. Maybe it's because I've had a break from packs but I've enjoyed the choc orange, spiced orange (a bit like mulled wine shake!!), cheese and broccoli soup, loved the chicken and mushroom soup and am not really bothered by the chocolate! Haven't trid a tetrabrik yet but must admit that the idea of the convenience of them for certain times is comforting.

I had an eating/not eating dilemma yesterday. I was meant to be going to the football (Sheffield Wednesday v Coventry) in the evening which means meeting my football buddy Jim at Pizza Hut. I had already forewarned him that I wouldn't be eating and had planned to have a tetrabrik and a diet coke (yes - they're allowed in moderation on CD). Mid-morning I started to witter to myself about this and to persuade myself that I could have the low-cal chicken salad I usually have and not eat the 4 tortilla chips that come with it and only have water or diet coke. I was to-ing and fro-ing over this for some time and eventually did a Thought Record about it.

The result was strangely inconclusive as usually I come to a definite conclusion when I bother to do such a thing. My conclusion of sorts was that I would postpone the decision until I got to the restaurant and would try not to have the salad but, if I really wanted it there and then, I would do so and not let the eating go any further. I think what it showed me was that I'm more confident in letting myself make decisions about food. I'm maybe not as slavishly following the Rules but nor am I trying to evade them. I'm being a bit more adult about it.

I THINK I would not have eaten having made that decision. I think it was the temptation and the thought of how awful it was going to be, the feeling that I couldn't eat which was causing me the trouble. Once I'd allowed myself to eat if I really wanted to, well, the urge wasn't so strong thereafter.

In the end it was all academic as the game was postponed due to a frozen pitch. I'm glad, to be honest, as the thought of sitting in a freezing stand in minus 5 or 6 temperatures for a couple of hours watching Wednesday lose again was not overly appealing!!

So back home and another night in in front of the fire (2 in a row - not like me). I didn't eat and wasn't too tempted to either (maybe because I know there's nothing in the house worth having!!).

The photos are from our walk around Linacre Reservoirs on Sunday afternoon,.