Well, I had a lovely day off in the sunshine. Got up early and started with some mild chores before heading to the doctor's for a check up and sign off. He's still well impressed by the diet and congratulated me while also saying that I shouldn't lose too much more, if any more....not helpful Doctor!
D wanted to go and visit a friend and chat about his new trailor and other machinery (dull dull dull) so I stayed at home and sat out by the pond supping my hot chocolate pack with coffee combination (very tasty) and doing my french homework. It felt so lovely and relaxing - made me wonder why I work!!
In the afternoon, we went up to a local garden centre with a good selection of pond paraphernalia and had a good root around. D quizzed the guy on the mechanics of pumps and water features and I selected a load of marginals and oxygenating plants. Not cheap but decent size and well established and that's what I need as I'm a total novice regarding ponds. I think D is on with the pump etc today so that should be good. We're going to stock it with some fish so we have soemthing to look at!
Next up was a walk along the river near the garden centre. It's a new one for us and was very beautiful, although anything is beautiful when the sun shines after the summer we've had thus far.... The dog was in heaven as she could swim and paddle in the river and run in lovely fields. I was really pleased with the 2 piccies I took of her running along the top of the weir with me below - she looks so purposeful with her stick in her mouth......like she's on important business! Which of course, she is!
I had my french class in the evening so wasn't back 'til nearly 8 so thought I'd go for a jog to try and run off a lb or so in advance of my weigh -in on Wednesday. Trouble was, it was pretty late and my heart wasn't in it. I did go out but didn't get the bug and only lasted for a very short trot. I may as well not have bothered to be honest. I think I will learn from that; that if I feel like that in future and it's late, I'll stay at home. I finished the day with a nice long bubbly bath and had a crap night's sleep.
Weird eh? After a great day, I ended up feeling down and sad and sleeping really badly. My dad rang and asked me to help him by getting my mum kitted out for a party they're going to. That set me off worrying about her and how she's not looking after herself and her memory's going etc etc I then got onto my Dad and how, although he tries really hard, he's not best equipped for the role of a carer and how a lot of it is going to fall on me but we're going to France etc etc
I then started fretting about D and why he's out so late (it was after 10 at this stage) and then got pissed off with him for ringing me for a lift home (he didn't get one!) but by that stage I was well and truly on the go.
Starting thinking about how I've been eating this week. Now, I've been pretty relaxed about it - I know why and I'm annoyed because it's setting back my target date but I've no real concerns that I won't get to target eventually. But, in the middle of the night when I was tired and couldn't turn of the thoughts in my head, all the eating of the last week came back to haunt me and made me feel even worse.
Eventually D came home and that seemed to let me switch off and go to sleep but I woke up through the night and D was a pain about snoring and not turning over etc so, all in all, a crap night's sleep.
Sorry for whinging, but it's been ages since I felt so low and for it to happen on top of a really good day, it took me by surprise and maybe seemed all the worse for it. I feel fine today and right back on track diet-wise so no harm done. Had a go at D for his behaviour and he was most contrite so we'll see how that plays out tonight. I'm picking him up from the pub on my way back from my weigh in so an early night for the pair of us. Hopefully, I'll be able to chat through all the Mum and Dad stuff with him and tackle the eating too - that usually helps.
I'll post later with the, no doubt woeful, results of my weigh in tonight!! Wish me luck...
4 comments:
Sorry to hear about your evening. BUT at least you didn't turn to food to salve your feelings - so something is changing. I know you are a bit annoyed about eating this week BUT there is a massive difference between making a choice to eat with friends or allowing yourself something small and delicious AND eating emotionally. One is healthy - the other is not. Sounds like you've cracked that nut.
Anyway, I really wanted to say that I am constantly amazed by how great you look in your pics. You would really not know you had ever had a weight problem. It looks so natural for you to be so slim and sporty looking.
I hope your back on form tonight, Lesley. I know we all have off-days, but to come on you after having such a lovely day is a little poo...
I love the piccies of Shelagh on the weir. She looks great but the composition is good and the clarity is excellent. You can almost feel the water dripping from her!
Chris x
Dear Lesley
Big hugs coming your way. I wonder if everything you've got going on right now is just testing you while Development is also pressing every button going!
You're on the cusp of SOOO much - the garden is getting finished, you are nearly finished, you are really thinking about the implications of France, you're getting the cottage and there is a sense of how much you are loving certain areas of your life, right now, right where you are. And you are going to change it all. And then there are deep changes and challenges with you and D. I don't think I am explaining it very well ...
I know from friends that parental ties (with the caring factor) weigh heavily - what's the RIGHT thing to do?
No wonder, after such an amazing day you felt challenged. Hope tonight is better.
Big hugs.
Mrs Lxxxxxxxxx
It's a shame about your evening after such a fabulous day, but you didn't turn to eating, which is great. In the past you probably would have, I know I would, so well done.
More great photos, Shelagh looks like she had a whale of a time. You live in a really beautiful part of the country.
Hope it went well at the weigh-in.
Amanda x
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