Day 28 -73

What a strange day. The snow arrived at 7.30am and by 9, when I was going to the doctors, it was pretty heavy and covering the roads. I got the doctor's appointment time wrong so had my blood pressure taken by the nurse again and it's still high. The proper appointment is tomorrow morning - Doh!

When I got back I had a dilemma as I didn't fancy going in to work on the bad roads but had a meeting with an American who is flying out tomorrow at 4pm. I knew he wouldn't make it up north because of the snow but I had to give in at lunchtime and make my way in to the office. Of couse, as soon as I got there, I got the call saying that the meeting was cancelled - typical! Anyway, there was talk of me meeting him in Manchester airport tomorrow morning but he will settle for a telephone call at 7.45am tomorrow before he heads off to the airport - phew. I have a few meetings tomorrow and it would have been a pain missing them.

I'm staying late tonight so I can go stright to Penistone and I hope the weather isn't too miserable over there. It's raining here so it shouldn't be but then if it freezes it'll be horrible driving. Besides, you never get an accurate picture of the weather from over here - it's always different on the other side of Sheffield.

I'm keen to make it to my class and weigh in tonight though. I missed the class last week because of Graham arriving so didn't want to miss another one the next week. I've been quite good and been through the book to catch up on what I missed and I've filled in all the questionnaires so I'm a girly swot today!

I'm slightly more hopeful that I might have lost some weight this week as this morning the scales were behaving erratically. No idea whether I've lost nothing, something or loads but at least there's some hope - for the last few days I've been sure it's nothing!

When I was at home this morning we had a nice time - went for a walk to pick up D's car from the Anglers' car park and then he suggested driving home the long way, ie. over the snowy roads in the 4x4. That was gorgeous - lovely views and we saw some Highland cattle near the side of the road so I stopped and took a load of very picturesque photos of the shaggy beasts. I'll post them from home when I report on my weigh in result - fingers crossed.

It almost made me forget what a boorish 'beast' D was last night after I picked him up from the pub. Almost but not quite. I really hate it when he gets like that - arrogant, self-centred and nasty. This time though I really stood up for myself and told him what I thought of the way he was acting. He hasn't apologised - pride I guess but I know it sank in a bit.

Total storm in a teacup stuff anyway about whether I really want to move to France because I'd been looking at properties in Nova Scotia. Well, so what if I look, it doesn't mean I don't want to move to France, even though I've told him loads of times about my reservations. We really have to work on better communications between us. I know I don't always tell him everything as I have these long internal conversations with myself which seem as though I'm discussing things with him but at least when I do, I don't do it pissed and nastily! Trouble is, once it's over, I should raise it with him now, soberly etc but I don't want to rock the boat - I'm too much of an appeaser so he gets to keep on setting the agenda. Must try to change that.

I just hate the uncertainty of everything being rosy one minute and him storming in and starting a fight the next - can't stand it! Beer has a lot to answer for.