Try, try and try again

As you know, I've been re-reading my blog from the beginning recently (fairly slowly to be fair). I'm up to last Christmas now. What is striking me is how often I do the same thing over and over. For example, just before last Christmas, I 'fessed up that I weighed 14.7 stone, having dropped a bit more than that but having been derailed by illness and work travails. Provided that I stick to my current plan, I'll probably weigh a little less than that this Christmas. I'm already at 14.9.8 (see how I do decimal points now?!) so, if I continue on even at a slow rate, I should be lower than 14.7 in 6 weeks' time.

However, sometime over Christmas or in January of this year, I clearly lost my way quite significantly as by spring I was back up over 15 stone!! Where I stayed, wavering up and down all year until mid September when I randomly hit upon Venice Fulton's "6 Weeks to OMG!" plan and started dropping once again.

What is to say that I'm not going to do THAT again??

I suppose fore-warned is fore-armed and I am definitely on my guard. I am determined this time to push through and drop proper poundage to get back down to where I want to be long-term.

And, other than that, nothing. There is nothing to say that I won't be back lardy and striving in a few months' time. It is most frustrating.

But another thing which is striking from re-reading my blog is the fact that I DO learn (eventually) and I HAVE moved on. I know what suits me in terms of diet (low carb, high protein, no snacking). I don't find it too hard to get back to exercise and, when I do, it is not that difficult (case in point, I went for a run last night and was pleasantly surprised how easy and smooth it was to pound out a brisk 35 minutes). I know several tricks to managing my chimp, remaining accountable and getting myself back on the proverbial waggon.

Uppermost in what I have learned is that there is no SHAME in this dieting and exercising business. It is a set of skills to be learned and practised. I am not a better or worse person depending upon what my scales tell me each morning. I have NOT gone back to those dark days.

So maybe there is hope for me yet.