Why???

Why have I been struggling to lose weight this time round?


Well, I’ve already identified Big Nights Out so that’s one reason.


Then there’s the works goodies. I seem to be having difficulty NOT eating the stuff from the cake table.


I’m eating generally larger lunches now that I bring sandwiches in than when I was eating Boots Meal Deals with sushi and yoghurt. Perhaps time to revert to those.


More booze in the evening although we valiantly resisted a bottle of wine or any beer last night. When I say “we” last night it was Richard who resisted and I just went along with the resisting…..hmmm


It’s not that I’m not doing lots of exercise ‘cos I am so it is the food to blame. Even 250 calories extra per day will translate into a small gain, say 1-2 lb a month. How easy is it to slide an extra 250 calories into your day on a regular basis??


So – instead of losing weight since January, I’ve gained a bit (well, I’m hoping that I’ve lost the gain but it’s still annoying). Even though I have just identified the reasons above, what I want to do is make excuses and blame the season, the dark nights, the weather and the fact that “I always” gain weight in January and February. The fact that, although I’m generally happy and enjoying life, there are difficult times and stresses associated with going through a bitter divorce. No Lesley – the fact is that you have been eating more than you’ve been burning off. You “always” gain weight when you do that!!


What is the answer? Vigilance. A food diary for at least a week. Blegh, but it will be revealing and hopefully stop the rot and start me off on genuine losing so I can genuinely get down into the 12’s by the summer. How nice would that be?


In other news, due to not-so-lovely marital issues, I had to go to the former home and remove my remaining clothes. I had left some summer stuff, clothes that no longer fit and evening/wedding wear in the wardrobe in the spare room. This had apparently become intolerable to D so, when I went to retrieve them, I found them screwed up in a heap in a dusty corner of the spare room with any random stuff of mine, including make-up tipped all over the pile. It was very upsetting to be honest, especially seeing the evening dresses covered in blusher and lipstick.


However, now that I have them all with me, it has been a wake-up call. I realise how far I have left that slim size 12 behind. I’m not sure I ever want to go back to that weight as it seemed unrealistic to maintain it and many people have told me that I looked too thin at that time but maybe that is a self-serving argument. I definitely don’t want to leave the size 14 dream behind and I’m heading that way if I don’t cop on. So I’m going to use the nice, smaller sized clothes as an incentive; to make sure that I keep trying on the more accessible ones to keep me excited about losing and appreciating getting out of my more “comfortable” attire. I’m definitely at the fat end of my wardrobe at the moment, still no bigger than a size 16 but I don’t want to push my luck.