Feeling wary and treading water

More pics from my walk with Beth and Peridot. In no particular order.

I kid you not, one of these Rottweilers is actually called Satan! Minty loves picking fights with them and I dread to think what would happen if the gates ever opened!!


It's frustrating trying to get a decent pic of a butterfly - always something in the way and they flap those wings you know - usually just as you press the shutter.

Heavenly Peaks...

Photo credit to Beth. It's nice having someone take shots of me for a change!!

My girls smiling and both posing perfectly for a change. "Hurry up Two Legs!!"

"Bless you my daughters..."

I hope you all had a good Bank Holiday weekend and were able to manage your eating and exercise without undue stress and angst. My friend Natalie visited from London so it was another weekend of walking and sight-seeing. It felt eerily relaxed though. I didn't worry about food or exercise and didn't really think about it too much either.

Now, given that I was warned at the end of filming about my sneaky chimp and how she will learn new ways to derail me, being ultra relaxed around food is cause for concern to me. But, then again, I don't want to borrow trouble either and wasn't it the very point of the show that I learn how to be relaxed around food and exercise and maintain my weight without constant battling?? When do I know that it has worked and start trusting myself?? All I know at the moment, is that the worst thing I could do is become complacent.

The answer to the trust question is probably never. I will always have to keep a weather eye out for my chimp and her devious ways but, hopefully, I can do it with a light touch. Today, I'm having a bad day temptation wise and have been constantly questing food. Think my chimp is cheesed off by the endless rain and bad weather which limits time outside playing and is excited by the fact that I'm working from home. But I've managed to limit the damage to an extra bowl of muesli so, so far not too bad!

Objective measurements have got to be the way forward. At the moment I'm trying to drop some lbs but am happy with a very slow rate of loss. Eventually I will hit a level I wish to maintain and will then just need to hover around that level. I've managed to drop 4lbs in the 6 weeks since filming stopped. That is pretty slow but I really don't care. I'm exercising and enjoying life and still losing. That is enough for me.

So, when I got on the scales this morning after my relaxed week and saw the same weight pop up, I was happy, but slightly unnerved. This can't be "it" can it? I feel that it is but don't want to be too confident in case a few lbs of lard suddenly arrive and attach themselves to my ass as punishment for being so presumptuous! But, tentatively, I can see major changes in the way I deal with food and exercise. They main ones are:

1. Despite the fact that I have had many "excuses" to overeat recently - weddings, guests staying, outings, meals out with friends, stag do, holiday - I haven't taken them all. I have occasionally had a big meal or a drink or an ice-cream but it has been in the context of a generally healthy day and I haven't taken the "holiday" eating to its limit just becuse I have an excuse. I have turned down certain things which I might previously have accepted on the basis of the excuse. For example - over the weekend at an agricultural show with my friend, we had already had a roast pork sandwich and an icecream and later on, Natalie wanted a sausage sandwich too. I got in the queue with her, but when it came to it, just didn't feel hungry enough to justify it or even be interested in it and quite happily turned it down.
   
   
   
2. I listen to my body more to ascertain whether or not I'm hungry. It's still an imperfect art as I think I've overridden the hunger button so many times It's a bit rusty but it does happen occasionally! Like at the weekend, after Natalie had left and I had been for a bike ride, I still didn't feel hungry so, instead of my planned supper, I had a couple of figs and a banana with some natural yoghurt for my tea.
   
   
   
3. Food just isn't as much of a big deal to me. I used to have all sorts of pre-conceived notions about how much food I needed to fill me up properly and how important it was for me not to be hungry or this might trigger over-eating. I have found that I'm happier NOT being paranoid about being hungry. That actually I don't need as much food as I think and that a little bit of hunger is no bad thing.
   
   
   
4. For example, my usual workday lunch used to consist of several components - a sandwich/salad/sushi; fruit; yoghurt and/or bar. I thought that I need it all to stave off hunger and the urge to over-eat. Gradually I have started to eat less at lunch and maybe save the yoghurt for later or the fruit and - taaadaaa - the sky has not fallen in! Sometimes, I just grab a quick, plain sandwich and that'll do. And I find that eating less means I'm less likely to want a biscuit from the tin . Weird. Often the days when I'm too busy to plan and eat sensibly are the days when I feel slimmer and actually see a loss on the scales!
   
   
   
5. I bargain with myself less often. I used to spend ages negotiating with myself (actually with my chimp) but now I'm more decisive. And it's a lot less stressful. I just say "right, I'm going for a bike ride" and it becomes a non-negotiable, even if it rains or I feel tired and it happens (well, nearly always!)

So, on that note - I'm going for a bike ride now. It's been chucking it down all day so it will probaly not be a nice experience but I'm going anyway! Byee!!

Oh, and thanks for your LOVELY comments about my dresses. So embarrassed in case you think I was fishing for compliments. I'm in danger of not wearing either of the dresses as my head has swollen to such a size I won't be able to fit into them! I'll let you know photographically as usual....