Better but not perfect.

Say hello to this handsome chap spotted in our slushy garden this morning. It's quite gloomy today so the quality is not good. I've seen him once before so I hope he becomes a regular visitor and preferably on a sunny day so I can snap him in all his glory (before he gets shot by some Hooray Henry out on the moors that is...)

He was very edgy so even opening the upstairs window to take the picture caused him to edge away. Hopefully he'll become a bit tamer in time. My parents have a visiting pheasant who comes back year after year and actually taps on the conservatory door for his seeds!

And finally, some greedy guts goldfinches. I keep meaning to take some better bird shots as we have so many visitors and will try to do so when the sun in shining (if it ever shines again...).

It was a strange day yesterday. I felt much better about life in general but, eating wise, I found it even harder to control myself than I had the day before.

So, unfortunately, I didn't. I battled all day with the strong desire to eat "stuff" and gave in 5 times and had a biscuit. So, that's 5 biscuits I didn't need. Sigh. Then, on my way home, the desire to "be really bad" snuck into my head. I had wild ideas about fish and chips, burgers, curries. All sorts. Daft really. Anyway, I talked myself out of all of that nonsense but, later on at home, succumbed to toast, with butter and grilled cheese. Sad.

To be honest, it was not a binge of monumental proportions or anything; I don't think 3 slices of toast can even count as a binge can it?? But it was the fact that I chose them knowingly and despite previously having talked myself out of going off plan. It felt like a failure. It was rebellious child not adult and that's what annoyed me.

When I've eaten off plan over the last few weeks, it has been as a result of a conscious decision and I've chosen what I was going to eat or drink and stopped there. This time, it could have been anything. Toast was all that was realistically available to me, so toast it was.

If I'm looking for positives, the following would count:

• I didn't let my toast adventure lead to anything more and I substituted the toast for my evening packs.
  
• I have a class this evening and I have not once considered not going so obviously my commitment to the plan is still strong. In the past, when I've deviated and felt that I might not have a good loss, I've been tempted not to go to class and "have a really good week to catch up next week". Which, of course, doesn't happen and tends to be the start of the slippery slope off that particular diet! This time, I'm looking forward to my class in order to reinforce the plan and discuss why I went off plan yesterday. Maybe it's because this class leader is so much better than the last one?!
  
• I'm working from home today so no biscuits to tempt me and I'm feeling much more in control.


• I went to training this morning in the freezing slush and worked out really hard again so feel virtuous and nicely sore.
  

So, once again, blogging has turned my feelings of dissatisfaction into positives and kept me battling for another day. Phew.....