Some random stuff

Hot Thick Chick completed this list of questions....you have to do it ALL with one word answers..... so I thought I'd join in. Some of them really make you think and it's not necessarily the ones you think will be thought provoking... I completed it first thing this morning but only just round to posting.

1. Where is your cell phone? Handbag


2. Your significant other? Shipbound


3. Your hair? Curly


4. Your mother? Disappearing


5. Your father? Gorgeous


6. Your favourite thing? Ring


7. Your dream last night? Didn't


8. Your favourite drink? Cappuccino


9. Your dream/goal? Travel


10. The room you're in? Doggie


11. Your church? Traditional


12. Your fear? Obesity


13. Where do you want to be in 6 years time? Family


14. Where you last night? Home


15. What you're not? Silly


16. Muffins? Jeans


17. One of your wish list items? Ticket


18. Where you grew up? Nigeria


19. The last thing you did? Chores


20. What are you wearing? Nowt


21. Your TV? Old


22. Your pets? Fantastic


23. Your computer? Unspectacular


24. Your life? Satisfying


25. Your mood? Optimistic


26. Missing someone? No


27. Your car? Convertible


28. Someting you're not wearing? Socks


29. Favourite store? Watsons


30. Your summer? Changeable


31. Like/love someone? Loads


32. Your favourite colour? Scarlet


33. Last time you laughed? Yesterday


34. Last time you cried? Yesterday

In other news, I had a long hard day in the office but have stuck to the plan rigidly and without too many pangs. I bought an outfit for a night out tomorrow night as didn't have anything suitable that fits which was a bit depressing but not as depressing as it would have been had I not made a start. I found cheap stuff in the sales as I'm NOT going to be a size 16 for much longer.

I was late back which COULD have been an excuse not to go for my scheduled run but luckily Kate rang and was running late too so we went together. That was also a bit of an eye opener: she and I ran together at my thinnest and I could just about keep up with her and was possibly slightly faster on the hills. Not any more...I was WAY behind. Still, she ran back for me a few times and at least I did the circuit without stopping and it wasn't as bad as on Wednesday when I nearly died! Not so humid this evening.

All in all, it's been a couple of days full of reflections; looking back to what made me happy and what it was like to be slim, however brief the time was (only about 4 months last year!). I'm determined to get back there and this time make it stick. I don't think I really had any concept of my size back then as I feel like I'm looking at a stranger when I look at photos of me last October. Also, even when I'd only gained a few lbs I thought I was fat again... Is it Body Dysmorphia? When you don't have an accurate sense of what you really look like. Well, that's what I think happened to me for a while at least.

Maybe that was why it didn't last?? I've never been thin in my entire adult life so maybe it felt so alien that I unconsciously sabotaged myself to get back to where I felt more like "me"? Now though, at a size 16, which is still much lighter than I have been for most of my life, I feel heavy so hopefully, my perception has caught up with reality.

It's tricky but all you can do is keep on keeping on.

I'm off to watch the Opening Ceremony. I absolutely LOVE the Olympics (and pretty much most sports) so I'm going to be in heaven for the next few weeks.

Update: I apparently love the Olympics so much that I've just been chatting about it on national radio. The Tony Livesey Sports Phone in on BBC Radio 5 Live to be exact. They rang me this morning after I posted a comment on the Beeb website and set it for this evening so I've been hoping I wouldn't make a prat of myself all day!

Well, it was a bit of fun and distracted me from thinking about food for a while anyway. Don't think I sounded too daft. I'm told you can listen again through the website so will tell D to see what he thinks but I couldn't see how to do it from the website myself.... maybe the programme has to be over before you can download...??