Back to Reality

Well, it's been another long break. This is not like me. I suppose real life is settling back in but I must make sure that "real life" is not a return to what I was doing before or I'll go back to what I was before - a lardy, unhappy woman.

I feel very different and am certainly doing a lot more exercise as a matter of course than I did before. With regard to eating, I definitely assess what I need to eat a lot more and don't have nearly as many treats or casual calories. My tastes have changed and I enjoy veggies and salads far more than I did. That is strange because if you'd asked me if I liked veggies and salads when I was fat, I would have said yes. Looking back though, I did, but the best bits of any meal were the meat and bread etc, not the veggies. Now, I genuinely enjoy the veg for themselves and don't have to have loads of other stuff in there. So that is a very positive change.

On the negative side, I have not got rid of my bad eating habits when things are going wrong. What I mean by that is that, if I'm feeling low or lonely or fat, there is still a good chance that I will turn to food. So, since I've gone back to eating, I've had a few episodes of uncontrolled eating: toast, crisps, chocolates, toffee etc. When I come out of the bad patch, I look back and think "what was that all about?!". It's almost as though I'm under a spell (although I'm not trying to absolve myself of responsibility by saying that). When I'm not "under the spell", it is easy to resist food I don't need but when under it I have just let go a few times. I've tried to work out what has triggered these spells. There does seem to be some correlation to my time of the month (which I've never previously believed to be honest) but also travelling or being bored and lonely (ie not arranging stuff to do when D is away).

So - now forewarned is forearmed. I must ensure that my weekends sans D are organised and when I travel must give myself a stern talking to beforehand to make sure I don't buy a box of Lindor truffles at a motorway service station and scoff the lot!! Yes - I was that sinner!!

I'm also going to try and blog a bit more. I've been dropping into your blogs but can't comment at work (except on Mrs's blog for some reason!) but due to redecoration at home the computer room is not very appealing so I think that has put me off a bit. I'm going to get that sorted now that D is back on the rig so hopefuly I'll be around a bit more over the next week or so.

Good luck all and I hope you like a few of my Ireland piccies. They were taken on a lovely beach south of Dublin on our way back from a visit to my aunt who has lived there for decades. We didn't have the dog with us so it was a bit strange but it was a gorgeous day and the dunes and empty sands were breathtaking.

I believe they filmed the beach landing scenes (and the a large part of the rest of the film) from "Saving Private Ryan" only a few miles south of this beach which might explain the familiar feeling to it! I must say I thought that film was totally unconvincing as being set in France - to me it was so obviously the Irish countryside that it ruined the sense of danger - I mean, it's hard to believe that the characters were in imminent danger of being ambushed by Germans when they're stalking through the fields of Wexford!! But that's probably just me knowing the countryside...and being a grumpy old woman...