Day 229 - Bank Holiday Monday

It was a nice day but cold! When the sun came out it would briefly warm through but then another cloud would sweep across bringing another arctic shiver with it. This 'having no layer of blubber to keep you warm' has its downsides!!

I was up early doing yet more house and garden chores. I'm enjoying having the opportunity to sort and tidy and clear out little ventured into corners and cubbies. The house will never be a pristine affair (well apart from when we sell it!!) but it's definitely looking more spruce in the last week or so. My friend Jenny and her 2 kids were due to visit me mid morning and I realised that I had nothing in the house (bad hostess Lesley!) but instead of jumping in the car and nipping the mile or so down the road to the garage I called the dog and walked it! Very green and health conscious eh?

A nice walk, checked out the blackberry and elderberry picking spots and worked on the dog's heelwork. She's pretty good - I don't have her on the lead unless the path runs right alongside the busy main road. If there's a decent verge I can trust her to stay at my side and she's a lot happier being able to sniff around etc (when I let her of course!).

Jen came over and admired the work in progress garden. She's got a really good eye so I appreciated her suggestions for the finishing touches. The kids always seem happy to run around my house. I've no idea what they find to amuse themselves as we're not very child friendly really - think the electric reclining chair and the Kids/Games section on Sky mostly but also noticed my fitball and mini trampoline being called into action! They're only 4 and 6 but so self-contained - pretty much amused themselves!!

Jen, as befits her status as my oldest friend (we met on the first night in boarding school when I was 10 - she was in the bunk bed above me due to the fact of alphabetical order!!), was duly impressed by my weightloss and also openly pissed off that I'm skinnier than her now "Size 12 - well, really!!". She's ALWAYS been thinnner than me. Not once have I breached that barrier until now. Ouch!! True she has gained a few lbs over her holidays but I'm sure she'll lose those as she stays pretty much round the 12/14 mark. It was great to see her though and chat everything through and I know there's no 'edge' to her remarks - when you've been mates for as long as we have, you can say the unsayable...

We took the kids to the Hope Show which is a local agricultural/country fair. It was smaller than usual due to the ban on livestock movements but there was still a good crowd. The kids had a laugh; I met half the Valley and we watched the gundogs, the vulture and eagle flying display, the dancing diggers etc. I bought the final plants for my last empty bed near the pond and a good (if chilly) day was had by all.

I finished off the day with a few in the local pub then crashed out. Didn't sleep well though due to too many coffees trying to warm me up in the pub and suddenly getting cold feet about our party!! I started panicking in the way you do in the middle of the night when you're half asleep and there's nothing you can do about something!!

Still, I've got it in perspective this morning and I'm sure it'll be a good do. D will no doubt whinge along the way and we'll probably row about it but, if no-one stuck their head above the parapet and threw a big party once in a while, life would be a bit dull! It's a bit scary being the ones to go for it but worth it.

A girl I know a little came into the pub as I was leaving with her mother. I have a feeling it was a set up by the mum and they made a beeline for me. She's a very big girl in her 20's and her mum obviously wanted me to talk to her about LL. The girl, Emily, asked me what I'd done etc and took it all in but clearly wasn't ready. I did my best to explain it but could see the resistance in her eyes. I think she's tried so many things and failed that she was backing away from trying something else so as not to fail again. Her mum was clearly so hopeful that this would sink in - I tried not to preach and just told her - "It's brilliant, hard work but the results come quickly if you stick to it. When you're ready for a drastic solution, remember it and and come and talk to me about it". She might - you never know. She couldn't see past what she would be giving up to what she would be gaining though. Youth I suppose.

Actually, she was more excited about coming over and picking through my fat wardrobe which isn't a great sign!!

Anyway - a bit of a waffley post so I'll draw it to an inconclusive end. I feel as though I'm still processing what it means to be at the end of this stage of my journey. Like things are still a bit scrambled in my head but now there's more room for the thoughts and ideas to stretch out so they are falling into place. I definitely don't want to lose any more weight though - feel there isn't much left to go and don't want to get boney or stringy looking. I'm still very positive about RTM and adamant that I'll plan ahead anddo my best to stick to it.

Remind me to revisit my mini targets in my next post!!