Procrastination Rules!!

And by that I mean rules to avoid procrastinating. I'm glad I stopped SW for a while; glad that I managed to coast along for a couple of months without any great damage being done; but not glad that I have experienced that classic post-holiday hangover for the last fortnight and gained 5 lbs!


Our trip to the Olympics and a few other fun summer events induced a happy, relaxed food and drink fest in me which has lasted long after normal life resumed. Okay, no problem, I can live with that but it has to stop and stop now!!


So, back to basics. Mini-targets usually work for me so let's set a few. Breaking the giant behemoth of my diet and exercise woes down into small, manageable chunks:

• Today I will follow SW to the letter and write down what I eat.
• I will print off a calendar to hang up at home so that I can record my weight and exercise on a daily basis and keep that pesky clever, rationalising chimp on the straight and narrow.
• I'm playing golf later so that will have to do for exercise.
• We're going to the first home match of the season this evening and I will drink diet coke or water not pints of bitter. 

Given that I'm absolutely run off my feet at home and work, the above is the best I can manage for now. The important thing is that it is a START and a meaningful one too.


Hope you've all been having a wonderful summer!!

Stooooop!!!

This coasting and gaining weight has GOT to stop. It has been 2 weeks since our Olympic holiday finished but I'm still in holiday mode - eating, drinking and not doing much exercise. So, writing down, daily blogging, weighing, running, accountability and much much more.... I actually feel better resolving to put a stop to the madness. Watch this space.

Hello!!

I'm just checking in on my phone to promise a proper post asap. There's loads to catch up on and I need the support/accountability to get back on the straight and narrow after many recent happy excesses. Speak soon peeps!!

Golden Days

As you will have guessed by now, sport is very important to me so I am in seventh heaven with all the Olympic joy going on at the moment.  I even loved the Opening Ceremony although I had been extremely sceptical about what sort of ceremony we would come up with in this country - artistic public spectacles not generally being our forte!


I remember watching that amazing (but rather overwhelming ) event 4 years ago in Beijing and thinking - Oh God, what are WE going to come up with??  I feared the worst at the opening scenes of bucolic (and cliched) Ye Olde England.  But all became clear as it unfolded and I was very pleasantly surprised.  There were several real surprising, open-jaw moments:  the REAL Queen being one of them but also, Rowan Atkinson, Tim Berners-Lee, the signing choir and the 7 young athletes lighting the cauldron (which was very pretty).


I could have done without Paul McCartney  but then I could ALWAYS do without him.....I think he must be the most over-hyped person on the planet.  Yes, I get it, he was a Beatle but really, he can't sing anymore so let's just give him a rest eh??!

And then there's the sport itself.  I can watch pretty much anything - so far we've done cycling; rowing; volleyball (beach or regular); hockey; swimming, gymnastics; archery; canoe sprint; football; tennis (table and regular) and many more to come.    Today has been awesome - the women's first ever rowing Gold , the mens' Eight and now Bradley Wiggins and Chris Froome.  Bliss bliss bliss

We have a weekend of sport ahead of us.  we've off to Headingley for the first day of the Test match agaisnt South Africa on Friday and then we're down to London for the Olympics on saturday.  We have tickets for the Athletics on Saturday night (come on Jess Ennis and Mo Farrer!!!!), Boxing on Sunday and Monday night and womens' hockey on Monday afternoon.  We might even pick up some of these newly released tickets for sunday if we're lucky.

And then, when we get back, the football will be about to start.....truly my cup runneth over.

I'm also participating too, not just a complete couch potato!  The golf season is hotting up again.  My partner Fran and I have made it through to the semi-finals of the pairs competition so there are only 2 matches between us and our Club pairs championship.  I'm also in the mixed pairs semi's with my pal Nigel although we'll be playing against Fran and her partner in that so we have a tough test ahead of us.

I'm lying in the top 6 in the Captain's competition which finishes next Wednesday so I have a good shot at a prize in that too. 

No change weight-wise.  I'm treading water, not doing any damage but am determined that I'm going to have another crack at SW when my diary lightens up and I can see some light at the end of the tunnel.

All change and no change

Whoops!  Just noticed that this has been languishing unpublished in Drafts for a week.  It's therefore out of date but you're having it anyway as I did type it!!

The sun has been shining and what a difference it makes. My old garden is looking lovely - mowed, trimmed and floral although there is still some cutting back to be done. My new garden is terrible - a mass of 8 foot high weeds and barely passable pathways. The landlord has long promised to landscape the front but done nothing and I'm damned if I'm going to spend money on the side garden given that he's now selling the house and chucking us back onto the streets(!). Hopefully though, now that he is trying to sell the property, he will get his finger out and do the landscaping works as I doubt it'll sell without them. So, you never know, we might have a useable garden for the last couple of months of the summer...you never know!

I am brown from all the gardening and golfing so, despite the terrible early summer, I look as though I've been abroad!

My golf handicap is also changing, and for the better too! I played in a competition on Sunday and played beautifully. It was probably the smoothest round I've ever played - only 2 poor holes and even they weren't too bad! I won it with 4 under par although there was only a small field, it being a Sunday competition. My handicap came down by 1.5 points which will be a bit of a shock to the system! Most satisfactory though.

In another change, for the worse this time, Richard's grandmother died last week so it was her funeral on Tuesday. She was very elderly (well into her 90's), lived in a home and was totally blind and increasingly incapable so her passing was not a tragic surprise but still sad. The funeral was, as far as they can be, lovely. As I only knew her briefly as a very frail and incapacitated woman in a nursing home, it was good to get a glimpse of what she was like in her prime. The family memories and obvious love everyone had for her shone through and competed with the bright, hot sunshine. Rich's brother gave a moving tribute in the church on behalf of the 4 grandchildren which got most people going and had Richard sobbing away next to me, the big softie.

Rich's grandfather died back in the 70's and she later married a Polish chap from the village we live in. Frank has been such an inspiration in terms of loving dedication. When she was, overnight, struck blind and it became apparent that he could not cope with looking after her in their home, he visited her almost every day, taking 2 or 3 buses and trains each way to do so. Only heavy snow or illness would stop him and even then, we have seen him trying to get there in ludicrously inclement conditions! He has been a common sight on the side of the Valley's roads either walking from the bus stop or waiting - so much so that half the Valley must have given him lifts on a regular basis. I certainly have. I'm sure he will be lost without her but hopefully his family, allotment friends and dominoes pals will rally round.

In other news, work has changed too - it has been very hectic recently with trying to sort out various issues to do with Rotherham United's new football stadium - The New York Stadium but that is coming to an end and work is settling back down again. Thankfully. Our new working patterns of working from home have well and truly bedded in now and I'm enjoying this more relaxed and accommodating way of working in the main. There are some downsides (our team is less cohesive as we see less of each other for example) but overall, the benefits outweigh the downsides.

So, what hasn't changed? In a word - my weight! Since I consciously stopped going to SW a few weeks ago, it has stayed exactly the same. With no effort. While I would prefer that I was losing weight, staying the same while so much is going on in my life is the next best thing.

This week, I'm going to have a go at cutting out some of the bread-based meals which have crept back into my repertoire and also to doing some more aeroblic exercise. I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it to Zumba tomorrow but, if I can, I will. I have a lot less golf on the agenda too so might be able to make it out for a run on Thursday, or, at the least, a hilly dog walk. So, maybe next week I will be able to report on an actual loss?! I wouldn't hold your breath but you never know.

Choices

I said I was going to "choose to be happy". Well I have but, sometimes, one's choice takes a little while to be delivered. I had a proper wobble about life in general and the house sale in particular on Sunday morning. To be fair, it was probably caused by the fact that I had not had enough sleep. You know that cycle - waking up too early; fretting SO that you can't sleep; then fretting BECAUSE you can't sleep and you know how much you need sleep; then just fretting because you're tired.

I got teary and stressy but knew underneath it that I had a plan and that I would feel fine once the day began. Which I did. Luckily the weather behaved itself so I could have a full day in the garden mowing, raking, hedge-trimming, raking, weeding etc. I look like I have been self-harming I have so many scratches on my arms and legs but it was too nice to wear long sleeves and trousers so shorts and a vest it was! I have at least evened out the farmers' tan! After this terrible summer, it was satisfying to get the garden properly under control finally.

Generally, it's not nice to think that there is someone, who was once important to you, out there on the other side of the world, filled with hatred and vindictiveness. But all I can do is not let it upset me and live my life properly. I am not going to become bitter as that would only end up harming me and mine. If anything I feel sorry for him if this way of being (not communicating, not co-operating, sabotaging, being bitter and twisted through solicitor's letters) truly is what he wants. There are much better and more healthy ways to live.

Hey ho.

Saturday at least was a lovely, friend-filled day. I spent the day with my pal Kerry who needs a pal at the moment. She has lots actually as she is such a nice, generous person, but it's nice to be there for her when she has a gap to be filled. Her mum was recently diagnosed with lung cancer and she herself is at what looks like the end of a tricky love affair so distraction is the order of the day. We went for a walk around Dam Flask and Agden reservoirs on the outskirts of Sheffield.

It was a cool, gloomy looking but blessedly mostly dry day. We broke our walk 2/3rds of the way round in the lovely village of Low Bradfield. We had intended to go to the pub but spotted The Old Schoolroom Butchery/Deli/Cafe so gave it a go. It was brilliant! Not the cheapest but such a lovely, high-quality "posh sandwich" meal in a beautiful setting. We have both been recommending madly it to everyone ever since.

Then as we walked round the far side of the reservoir, we stopped into an open day at the Viking Sailing Club. Kerry has been wanting to give sailing a go for a while but said that she wouldn't have turned up by herself (although it would have been fine). There was one amusing incident where the membership secretary talking us through membership options clearly thought we were or might be a couple. He was falling over himself to be inclusive and not give offence but each effort somehow came out wrong until we were giggling and eventually had to put him out of his misery!

We each went out on the water for a taster sail. I've been sailing before but wouldn't say I was particularly bothered by it. Besides, with the golf, dancing, walking, french, zumba, training, and myriad house issues, I think it's safe to say that I DO NOT have time for another hobby!

Kerry, though, was out on the water for ages, even after it chucked it down for 10 cold, wet minutes. She got on well with her sailing blokey who is looking for a new crew so she is fixed up for Sunday morning's sailing whenever she fancies it! It was a great result for a Saturday afternoon.

It was doubly nice because her parents turned up while we were at the sailing club for a short walk and to see how she was getting on. It was good to see her mum getting out and about and, strangely considering she is so ill, looking really well. Nice to have a natter with her parents too. They have had some good news about her treatment options so hopefully it won't be the absolute nightmare everyone dreads when they hear the awful cancer word.

After walking/sailing it was a dash home to change and get back into town. One of Rich's mates is opening a new cafe/bistro in the Kelham Island Museum. Kelham Island is the historic industrial heartland of Sheffield which has mostly been converted into flats, trendy bistros, real ales pubs and micro-breweries and high tec/light industrial/meeeja workshops.

Actually, as regeneration projects go, it is a pretty good one although very much a work in progress. It is a real island being surrounded by the River Don and a canal on either side so there are some very scenic walks. There is also a lot of big former steel industry "stuff" hanging around - you know, massive crucibles and huge winches etc. The Museum is well-thought of and Briggsy's cafe/bistro is attached to it so hopefully will benefit from the daytime traffic to the museum as well as the vibrant night-time traffic from the flat-dwellers and real ale aficionados.

Saturday night was the "soft" opening so the food was free with a pay bar. It was heaving with friends and family and designed to give the kitchen and waiting staff a stern test without risking ruining the perceptions of the paying publicwith teething problems. A good idea as there were some glitches but, overall, it was a great evening. Lovely food, good wine menu and good atmosphere. It is called "Little Mesters" after the self-employed craftmens, working in their own little workshops and co-operatives who formed the backbone of the cutlery indutry in Sheffield. There are only a few left now, mostly making snazzy custom hunting knives for rich Americans and Arabs but, not long ago, it was a big thing in Sheffield.

So - looking back it was a good weekend and I did follow through on my choice. Yes, I had a blip but I got back on track. Yay!

And how am I getting on with the "non-diet" since I decided to give SW a break for a while? In a word - fine. My weight is the same as it has been for weeks. It went up, it went down and now it's bang in the middle of my 4 lb swing. No biggie. I'm doing plenty of exercise and not going mad so couldn't ask for more.A

Busy life!

And it just got busier. You know I mentioned a few weeks ago the possibility of major pressure entering my life as revealed by my tarot card reading?? Well, it has arrived and is settling in nicely now thanks very much. I have an irritating legal battle brewing, possibly involving an application to Court, with the ex over the sale of the former marital home - nice. Then the reality of having to move from our rented property in the medium term due to the landlord deciding to sell it. Then finally the ongoing problems of my mother's deterioration and trying to help my father as best I can.

Obviously throughout this, I want to keep as normal as possible a life going for me, Rich and the dogs and am determined to "choose to be happy" and not succumb to rage or worry. Or both

I was listening to a piece on the radio a couple of days ago about a nurse who cared for the terminally ill. She had written a book about what she had learned from them and during her career and the main thrust of this chimed with me. She said that the main deathbed regret she had encountered was from people who had not, until it was too late, realised that you could, in her words, "choose to be happy". I'm not sure that it is possible or even advisable to choose to opt out of the human condition sufficiently to be untouched by events and sorrow. BUT I do think that you can choose HOW you react to things. You can take action, rather than being passive; look on the bright side; enjoy what you DO have rather than hankering after the unobtainable and choose to be content rather than dissatisfied with one's lot.

So, instead of worrying about what I might lose or why D is being such a pain, I choose to be happy that I don't have to spend time with him any more; that he has/we both have a chance to be a happier person in the future; that I have found Richard and can be a better partner, friend and person with him. It's not too extreme to say that I rejoice that my life has been saved because, if I'd stayed with D for much longer, I would have been dying inside.

Instead of wishing that things were different, we could stay in our house or my mother didn't have Alzheimers, say, I'm going to continue to look for the positives.

We will find a new house and will have the fun of setting that up together. Who knows, it might have a nicer garden or be in a better location or be cheaper? But we will find something and we will be together.

My mother - well, that is more of a challenge, but I can see that SHE is happy and reasonably healthy. She may not know who we all are but she loves us and is happy to have us around. I am closer than ever to my father who has had to see me through troubled times and is now accepting my help. I'm trying to use this situation to forge closer relationships with my brother and sister. I have time to appreciate what Mum has been to me while she is still here (sort of). I can still give her a hug even if she isn't quite sure why! She loves watching my dogs although she would feed them all day if we didn't keep an eye out.

The biggest positive of my mother's illness is that it reveals what a loved and loving person she was. I attribute her general sense of peace with the fact that she was loved as a child and as a woman and still is. While she is confused, she is not distressed. She may show flashes of annoyance but not rage or anger and is generally sunny and smily if somewhat vague and incredibly stubborn too. We would not have had this slow, relatively pleasant, goodbye if she had succumbed to a stroke or an accident or some other speedier form of illness.

So now, more than ever, it is vital that I enjoy my golf; look forward to the Olympics and the new football season; take pictures of the flowers and the dogs and go for lovely walks when the weather permits; see lovely friends; and, top of the list, appreciate my lovely Richard who is being a rock and gives the best cuddles when required (that doesn't sound quite right - a cuddley rock?!).