Day 88 -13 Easter Monday

Another busy day so no time to post but I've also had issues regarding food and eating running through my head which I need to get down before they fester.

All the way through the diet I have had the very occasional mouthful of food from time to time. usually chicken or ham or a piece of veg while I'm cooking. Just lately those very occasional and non-harmful mouthfuls have been getting more frequent and the amount I've eaten has increased too. I'm sure that, in the scheme of things, these small amounts won't make a significant difference but I'm concerned about the whys and wherefores. Also, if I do see a downturn in my weight loss each week it will be very de-motivating and might cause me not to want to go to weigh-ins or not to want to stay for the counselling. Not good!

In the past, when I've lost a couple of stone, enough to make a difference, I've started getting complacent and nibbling, missing weigh-ins and generally drifting off whatever diet I was then following. I can see that happening now albeit I have lost much more weight and much quicker.

I feel different this time in that I have no intention of going off the diet or missing weigh-ins or anything but even the threat of drifting is worrying me.

So - some new targets:

1. I will not nibble AT ALL between now and the end of Foundation on 21 April.
2. I will ensure that I keep up my water intake until then, especially at weekends when I do struggle a bit.

I have deliberately made the targets short term as I want them to bite. I think if I can beat the nibbling for a week/10 days I can beat it going forward. If I set a longterm, unrealistic target it is more likely that I will ignore it. I'm doing plenty of exercise so that it good and I'm not giving in to temptation or eating meals or drinking or anything, it's just the opportunistic nibbling that is my downfall. I really don't need the mouthfuls of chicken etc so why do it??

Anyway, enough of that - send me good thoughts so I can stay strong over the next few days girls!!

I went for a great jog with Shelley in the morning. (This not drinking is great; unlike my husband I woke up feeling fresh and raring to go!) I thought I'd take the dog for the run as it was to be mostly off-road and D was going fishing so she might not have got much of a walk otherwise. Trouble is, she recognises my jogging gear and refuses to come with me! She jumped into bed with D and snuggled up to him as if he could protect her from the dreaded jogging. Honestly, her body language was comical - she could not have more craven if I was going to beat her or bath her (not sure which she thinks is worse!!). Anyway, I eventually lifted her bodily off the bed and put her in the car. Once at Shelley's place, which she absolutely loves, she was a different doggie. You would have thought that the expedition was all her idea. Not only that, the running was great, she was sniffing her way all over the fields and splashing through ditches - fickle little madam! We managed about 3 and 1/2 hilly miles in 35 minutes so next time will have to add a little loop onto that route or it will be too easy!

After the run, shower, change and off to the pub in Sheffield to meet my mate before the football. He is gutted with me for threatening to move to France and thus break up our little football club but needs must. We had a good laugh as always and the not eating or drinking is definitely easier than it was. The game was excellent with Sheffield Wednesday beating Ipswich 2-0. It won';t do us any good as our good run has come too late to get us into the Play-Offs but at least it gives us hope for next season.

Then back home, cooked D and his fishing buddy (who is currently alone as his girlfriend is abroad for a few months) a proper roast chicken with trifle for dessert. They wolfed it down in very satisfying style and (apart from the odd mouthful which I've discussed above) I felt great just providing a lovely Easter meal for hungry men. There's something good about that - must be the 1950's housewife in me!!

Anyway, all in all it was a great holiday weekend and I have had so many comments about my weight loss that my head has been expanding as my ass shrinks! I think the sucess has caused me to waver slightly in my focus but, on the positive side, I have recognised the danger and feel totally determined not to let it take over. That is a lesson for all of us - even great results are fragile and you must be vigilant and keep addressing your thought processes at all times!!

Day 87 -14 Easter Sunday

You'd think from the photos that we were in the middle of summer but I'm writing this on the laptop in front of the fire!! It was gorgeous here all afternoon but with a bit of a cut to the wind and then it suddenly went cold and cloudy at around 5pm just when we were due to go to drinks at Sammy and Vickys' place (based in the garden of course!). So, in true British stylee, we've all been standing in the garden in coats and jumpers with freezing hands from holding cold drinks!

Luckily being on the diet I could have a hot drink rather than feeling honour bound to guzzle the free champers but, on the other hand, being on the diet I'm freezing all the time anyway. Win some, lose some.

It was a nice evening but I have spent too long in the pub this weekend so I left at 8.30 before the rest of them headed to the pub and am now enjoying checking out blogs and writing this in front of the the Masters (golf) on the telly. Bliss!

We've had a really good day today. Up late and then spent a few hours in the garden. D has nearly finished his path and I've cleared the herb bed and generally tidied up and swept the new patio. This is the first time since we started that I feel that the work we have done is actually making the garden better. When you're doing these remodelling jobs you spend ages making it worse, digging up and leaving great heaps of muck and rubble everywhere. Because we had to stop over winter I've been feeling as though this job will never end but today I can finally see the end in sight.

It's actually very similar to the diet - there's a long way to go but I'm definitely on the downward slope!

After gardening we headed out for a lovely walk at the back of Hathersage. The church in the picture is Hathersage church which, local legend has it, is where Little John is buried! He's not there of course but a nice story.

Shelagh had a lovely time swimming in this fairytake old mill pool at a ruined paper mill near Lees Hall just below Stanage Edge. It's really clear and deep and full of waving green weeds so it looks like one of those old Pre-Raphaelite paintings. It's a magical place - one of my favourites. Lees Hall is a great old NT country house. Charlotte Bronte was meant to have stayed there while writing 'Jane Eyre' and named her heroine after one of the local families. There are still loads of Eyres round here including 2 of our friends. Love that sort of history - where you can see and touch places where little things happened. Not dates and figures but houses and mills and quarries where people lived and worked and which are still around today seeing all the changes which have happened.

Anyway, getting a bit carried away there.

After the walk we went off to Sammy and Vickys' and now I'm home as I said before. It's great not feeling that I have to go out and stay 'til all hours as I would have done pre-LL. I've now got the self possession to stick to my guns with D and come home when I want to. Usually he would pester me and guilt me into staying out with him but I really didn't want to stay out late tonight and he's much more willing to let me do my own thing now without nagging. I suppose it helps that he can see the diet working and appreciates that I need to look after myself a bit. I must make sure that continues too!! Writing this has remined me of a post I wrote right at the beginning of LL where I was complaining about having to stay in the pub later than I wanted to. The times, they are a'changing...

Anyway, this has been a bit of a rambling one. Hope I haven't bored you into submissiion Also hope you're all having a nice Easter. No nibbling on any stray eggs!!

Day 86 -15 Holy Saturday

Had to get up early and race to my french lesson this morning. It was a beautiful drive through the grounds of Chatsworth House as you can see and I managed to snap a pheasant in full sunshine before he raced off although unfortunately I snipped the end off his tail dammit! I got loads of him without cutting his tail off but none as good or with his face in full sunshine....grrr...must try harder. The lesson was good and I feel as though I'm making progress. She's always very complimentary about my weight so the lesson always starts well if nothing else!

Came back, worked in the garden and then finished off with a walk from Hope which you can also see above. I love it when the lambs are born and you can watch them playing together and badgering their mothers. Really cute and brings it home to you that summer is not far away.

I experimented by having 2 packs together for lunch as I had not had time for breakfast before french. Thought it would stave off hunger pangs but didn't - was peckish all day and still have this pesky urge to snack!!" Think it's because I'm really feeling the difference in my weight now and am feeling very happy at this weight. Historically, this is the stage where I start to get comlacent on a diet and to drift off it. I'm determined not to sabotage myself like that this time so must be stricter with myself. Really, all the gains I have made are so precarious and I must not let this great thing slip away!!

So, spring is here which is great, but don't get carried away Missus and forget that you still have a job to do! That's the message for myself this Holy Saturday! (Did you know that today isn't Easter Saturday but Holy Saturday - Easter Saturday is next week apparently - learn something new every day....)

I'm off out again tonight but hopefully will be a bit quieter than last night when I ended up cramming 8 people of varying drunkenness into D's car (a big jeep which should only hold 7) and dropping them off round the countryside at 1am!

Day 85 -16 Good Friday

Hi all on this uncharacteristically gorgeous Good Friday! Hope you've all been out enjoying the sunshine.

I was up bright and early for a run with Shelley and Fran. We went round the long route which I have been doing for the last few weeks but which they haven't done before. It went very well and we all felt suitably virtuous by 11 when we'd finished. I then had a look through my summer stuff to see what if anything I can get into. I have to say the picking were decidedly poor. As you can see, D and I had a great laugh at the sight of me in my size 24 shorts from last summer!!

Thank God I'm not fitting those ever again! I think I had better get out and buy a mini capsule wardrobe for the summer or at least the next few weeks. I'm into cheap size 18's now (ie Primark/Matalan etc) so it shouldn't break the bank. You never know, I might even be able to find an M&S 16 I can squeeze into??

Anyway, I went shopping for nice food for D. He's said he doesn't want an Easter Egg (not a big chocolate fan) but he's bored of his own cooking and has made a request for some favourites - spaghetti, roast chicken and trifle. I'm sure that can be arranged so have purchased the necessaries and will cook for him (as he's being so good!) over the weekend.

We then spent the rest of the day in the garden - D making a start on the footpath and me trimming the hedge and generally tiding up. We're towards the end of a major re-landscaping of the garden and really want to get it done over the next couple of months. I will post before and after pictures at some stage as it has been a major endeavour and we've done it all ourselves (well, mostly D to be honest). It's a necessary step in the "Moving to France" project so we've got renewed vigour now that spring has arrived.

Anyway, off to the pub to see some people I haven't seen for a few weeks - hope they can see the difference. Charlotte is pregnant so we're going in opposite directions!

Have a great weekend everyone and keep it up.

Day 84 - 17 Weigh in time again

What a gorgeous day it's been. Went into work early as I was disappearing at lunchtime for a freebie game of golf! Could not have picked a better day for golf. It was a charity golf day up at a course I don't know near Bradford and it was a really lovely course. Quite hilly with fantastic view of the Calder Valley. Played terribly but marginally better than last Wednesday so there's hope for my summer. One of the guys I was playing with nearly didn't recognise me from various golf days last summer. He couldn't get over the difference in me which was pretty flattering.

Anyway, couldn't stay for the meal which was probably a blessing as the dining room looked good and the smells from the kitchen as I left were heavenly! Dashed down the M1 to my weigh in and have lost 3 lbs this week. Not remotely disappointed as I'm now on the downward slope and 3lbs is respectable.

We were talking about where we are on the line of our journey - and conveniently I know exactly where I am - just over halfway! Then we each talked about what it will mean to us to finish out journey and what we would feel if we didn't. Brought out some of our fears about Maintenance and also our fears tht we may regain the weight. The Counsellor kept saying that the best way not to regain it is to keep coming to be weighed and keep track of weight, not let it creep back on. I must say, for the first time I think I agree with her and am going to do just that! Also, I'm going to keep a Maintenance Blog.

My feelings about sucess are just intense - I'm so grateful tht I found this diet and the strength to start it and I'm so positive about the future. I don't think I would be facing the potential move to France with such equanimity without the additional confidence LL has brought. Also I'm hopeful that D and I will be able to start a family once I've lost the wieght. We've left it late and it has never been a good time but I think now may be our time and I hope biology doesn't put a stumbling block in the way. If it does though, I hope we can accept it with good grace. So, big stuff going on on this Maundy Thursday...

So, that's positive plans I've made to help me over the trauma of something that won't be happening for months!! Silly but it makes me feel a bit happier. She also told us to try and get our heads round the GI diet as she has found that the most effective way of maintaining once we're back to food. So will buy a book and absorb that too. Like doing my homework....a proper girly swot me...

Anyway, enough navel gazing - have a Happy Easter all (it can be good without chocolate!) and hope you have good weight losses! Karen - where are you hiding? Come on girl - you can do it!!

Day 83 -18 Spring has sprung!

Well, I'm back to England and isn't it gorgeous? Lovely weather and beautiful scenery. We went for a walk this evening when I got back from work and the dog had a fine time swimming in the river after her sticks and ignoring the ducks and sheep. She's a bit of a coward so if a sheep looks at her a bit sideways she's right back to Mum and Dad!

I've been really hungry today but have powered through with my water and not given in to temptation. To be honest, I think it's my own fault. I had a few mouthfuls of chicken and a crust of bread last night when really tired with low resistance. Not sure why but suspect it was some crooked thinking around the idea that I've been really good in France and "deserved" a treat or something!!

Just goes to show that you can do the hard stuff like a weekend in France and then fall down in your own familiar kitchen!! Anyway, I'm not going to beat myself up about it. It wasn't exactly a big blowout or anything - but I'm going to make sure that it doesn't become a habit and that's why I'm pleased that I've resisted temptation today.

The thing is, once you've given in once, it's a lot harder to resist the next time the idea to snack pops into your head. Still, what doesn't break you makes you stronger... And, learning to cope with temptation is more important than losing weight fast in the long run.

Another strange thing happened today too: I was stopped today in the corridor by a youngish woman from work who I don't know at all. She's really pretty but a few stone overweight. She just launched straight into questions about the diet and that gave me the excuse to evangelise about Lighter Life. I think she may go for it and I hope so as she's young and only has 3 stone to go and it's her chance to save herself years if not decades of yoyo dieting. Fingers crossed eh?

Off to read some blogs and then bed....night night...

Days 78 to 82 - Weekend in France

Bonjours tout le monde!!

We're back from France now and had a wonderful weekend and I stuck to the diet through thick and thin (but mostly thin...). We flew to Limoges and stayed there on Friday night then headed out into the countryside for the rest of the time. We were just getting a flavour of the region to see if it might be somewhere we want to live in. It really is. It's gorgeous and the houses are lovely. I think the lifestyle out there would be great and pretty healthy too. We would like to live in the countryside but near to a village with amenities and not too far away from a town (within an hour anyway). I think the problem will be picking a place 'cos there were so many fantastic places to look at!

We just drove round the little back roads and stopped where we fancied, mooched round markets and went for a few walks and just generally took it easy.

The photo of the old car and ruins is of a little village called Oradour-Sur-Glane near Limoges. It was where the Nazis committed a massacre of over 600 men, women and children in 1944. The village was burned down and the ruins have been left as a memorial and a Centre of Memories built next door. It was very moving as the birds were singing and you could see the photos of the familllies who were slaughtered on their graves. You could see what a great little village/town it would have been with all the butcher, bakers, cafe, restaurant, schools, Mairie etc - an absolute tragedy. The simple stuff that was left like rusty old bikes and sewing machines just made it all so human and even more shocking somehow.

The picture of Diarmuid on the bridge shows an old Mill building behind him. It was in a gorgeous valley with a fast flowing river. I could really see it as a smart restaurant with rooms above and a terrace outside - very Grand Designs....D had to drag me away before I got carried away!

Foodwise it was fine - I had a pang each time D sat down to a lovely French meal - entrecote and frites, salmon, pizza, even a kebab one night! But the pang only lasted a minute or so and then I just drank my water or black coffee (I love French coffees!) and drank my soups or shakes. My french is pretty rusty but I managed to get across the fact that I'm on a diet and wouldn't be eating and ask them to heat up soup so was pretty proud of myself! We only had one disaster where the woman added extra water to my soup and it all boiled over in the micorwave but I had some spares so no biggie.

Anyway - we had a great time and now I'm back and back into real life. I went for a run this evening and managed to keep up with Shelley and Fran quite well. We even had a sprint for the last few hundred yeards - don't think I've run that fast since I was a kid!

Anyway, it's only a short week this week and hopefully I'll have another good loss then the great Festival of Chocolate to survive. Have a great week everyone and keep it up.

By the way, it was really good to get back and read thorugh everyone's blogs and see how you've all got on. Nearly everyone had got on well so it was very uplifting. Come on Karen - cheer up chuck - you can do it!