Courage

I screwed up my courage and stepped on the scales this morning. You know, knowledge is power and all that. It was, mercifully, as I felt, just the 1lb on. This is manageable.

I originally planned a fast day today then changed my mind but am now reconsidering. My breakfast was fast-friendly apart from the banana so think I will limit my intake today after all and then Wednesday (maybe Thursday if I bottle out of fasting while working from home on Wednesday!).

If I could see a 'real' drop by Friday's WI, it would be most motivating. Just a teeny lb would be good!!

Below is a snap of the sunset looking towards Gibraltor. I took much better ones on my proper camera but this is handy on my phone for now.

Back home blues

I haven't dared to step on the scales yet. While my clothes don't feel particularly tight, I can't believe that I have got away scot free so I might wait until after my first fast day tomorrow!! We ate and drank well but were also very busy and active and missed several meals due to rushing about. We don't tend to snack either so I'm hopeful that I haven't done much damage.

The dogs were extremely pleased to have us home even though Rich's mum would have looked after them well in our absence. It was not a great week to pick to go away as it happens as Rich's sister Jo went into hospital just before we left to have her baby born tiny and 4 weeks early. She, Paige Georgia, was not gaining enough weight in the womb so they whipped her out early. She is fine now but still small and still in hospital for another week at least. It was a tough week for everyone by the sounds of it and we missed the lot!!

Since our return we have been totally depressed and demoralised at the football yesterday and spent this morning moving Rich's mum into her new flat. So, it's been all go and no time to focus on what I'm eating. However, we're about to go shopping now so I can make sure that I'm properly stocked and have no room for excuses.....AT ALL!!

Wish me luck....after a week of paella, pasta, gambas pil pil, steak, bread, olives, wine and San Miguel, work and fasting is going to SUCK!!

The photos below are from Cala Nova GC. We played quite early hence the sunrise and it was a stunning course up in the mountains. We joined up with a mad frenchman so I got to chatter in french as well as play golf. Can't be bad.

Golfing in the sunshine

The journey over to Spain yesterday was pretty tiring. It all went to plan but you forget how tiring airports and car hire and driving on the wrong side of the road in unfamiliar (and almost totally unsignposted) areas is. 

But I'm NOT complaining, believe me. We did a lot of getting our bearings yesterday but still had a lovely meal out and saw a stunning sunset.

Today has been all about golf. We had a great round on our 'local' course. It was not the best course I've ever played but a long way from the worst too. 

It was gorgeous being out in the sunshine wearing short sleeved shirts. Not baking hot but pleasant. Heavenly really. I was loving the bird life too. we saw hawks, kestrels, bluejays and, thrillingly for me, hoopoes. I haven't seen hoopoes since we went to Botswana years ago and before that they take me back to my childhood in Nigeria.

So, all in all, it was a lovely (and healthy) day. We're off for supper now, totally ravenous...whoops....

Holiday

God, I'm knackered. We are well out of practise at getting ready to go away given that it has been so long since we had a proper holiday. We have been making very heavy weather of it.

The last couple of days at work are always a nightmare trying to get everything finished. And there's always the people who come round with the "I know you're really busy getting ready for your holidays but could you just.....". This sort of request makes me want to punch the requester in the face but I usually restrain myself...

Surprisingly I managed to do everything I set out to do by 4pm (a rare day indeed) then had to traipse into town to do some very dull Post Office based chores for my brother over in Malaysia. Grrrr. I was totally shattered when I got home and had to start with the ironing, sorting and packing.

We're leaving at 3am too so it really is bed time! However, I just have time to report in my midweek WI. My pal Jenny wanted to switch from Monday to Friday WIs which suits me with this holiday. So I agreed and dutifully weighed in only to find out that Jen forgot! Anyway, 2lbs off so my challenge is to hold onto that drop while we're away. Which is quite a challenge....

Hasta la vista amigas!!

Emotional eating

Thanks for all the lovely comments, I feel like a princess!!

But now back to reality. I don't think that emotional eating is normally my particular problem. I eat too much, drink too much out of habit and desire but I don't think that I'm generally eating too much to suppress unwanted emotions. But I had a nasty brush with it yesterday.

I was over at my parents looking after my ma while my pa went down to my sister's and then into London to see my nephew perform in a massive youth concert in the Albert Hall. Dad has been to this concert several times in the past to see various nieces so he wanted to tick off the full set. And he loved it do it was well worth the effort involved.

I worked from home on Tuesday with mum chirruping away in the background. It was nice (although frustrating at times). We went for a short walk together and read magazines together. Then yesterday the arrangement was for to put her in respite care as my Dad was going to be late home. This was also an opportunity for me to see the home and for mum to get used to going in as Dad will need more respite in time.

I took her in, filled in the various forms then sat with her for a while and gave her her pills. We chatted and read some magazines and then I left her. As soon as I got into the car I cried like a baby. There was nothing wrong with the place; the people were nice, it seemed clean and bright and there was plenty going on. Mum seemed bright and happy enough. I can even see that the stimulation might be good for her.

But, despite all that, it was heart breaking. She was so sweet and quietly happy and accepting of so little. No one there knew the woman she used to be (not even her). And that just broke my heart. I feel bad for all the times I've been short with her and taken her for granted but it's too late for that now.

This horrendous process of grieving for someone while they're still there continues. And it's not all bad. I can still cuddle her, see her sweet smile and flash of humour. So that will just have to be enough.

I'm better today but yesterday I felt myself eating to forget. Mostly comforting carbs of course. I did go for a run but only because I was already wearing the gear and it was sunny and the dogs needed a stretch.

I'm on a fast day today so I hope this will undo yesterday's excesses. And holiday next week. Hallelujah!!

One week in and no change

Whoops. I may have fasted valiantly for 2 days (and at one point observed a 4 lb drop on the scales) but those 2 days were no match for the carnage of a big weekend with the boys!

Friday evening our favourite punk band were playing in our local. We usually see them in Sheffield but we took our landlord a few months ago and he liked them so much he booked them. It was a bit nervy really as you never know how a band will go down in a new pub but we shouldn't have worried as it was a storming night! Everyone jumpibg up and down nearly all the way through. I started trying to be good with 3 or 4 rum and diet cokes but that got too sweet and I ended up switching onto beer.

We were up supping an ever more random selection til 4.30am. Whoops. This was followed by an early dash for the train to Sheffield for a big day out at the Derby away game. What a great day but: cooked breakfast, lots more beer, pukka pie for lunch, switch to red wine on our return to Sheffield and finish off with a curry. Double whoops!!

So, a STS is really quite a good result after that debacle. I'm on a fast day today and I'm pretty hungry to be honest. My big bowl of veggie soup for lunch has filled me up but not assuaged my hunger. Hmmmmm

I'm sticking to it though. Go me!!

5:2 Update

After my recent technological whining I thought I reflect on how I'm getting on with this new look regime. Yesterday, a non-fast day started brilliantly while I was at work but deteriorated somewhat through the evening. I know that you're meant to have some leeway on non fasting days but I don't think you're meant to take that as carte blanche to scoff at will.  I didn't really scoff but I did indulge in a few extras like raisins, some toast, a couple of pears and a hot chocolate.  Hmmm.  Must try harder.

Today has not been tooo bad.  I would've liked to have cracked on with my second fast day but I was golfing (and we're off to see Micky Flanagan this evening too) so I thought better of it. Now I will have to do it tomorrow which is not ideal. I have french straight after work which might be a strain and then darts and dominoes at night so I'll have to stay dry and resist the treats. Booooo

Wish me luck for tomorrow peeps!!

Snarling with frustration

You know how at certain times of the month everything winds you up and the term 'hair trigger' makes perfect sense?? Well, today is one of those days. So, perhaps not the best day to try something new on Blogger. That last, rather disjointed and inelegant post with 3 paltry photos almost killed me.  Trying to tap it out on my phone was incredibly frustrating. The cursor  went missing and Just. Would. Not. Cooperate. for minutes at a time.  Editing or correcting typos was nigh on impossible.  I was almost weeping and came as close as I have ever been to smashing an inanimate object.

It then occurred to me that it was the photos buggering everything up.  So this post is by way of a sanity restoring experiment. Will it work if I type the post first and then add the pretty pictures?  Who knows but this has been painless so far.

Fingers crossed!

You didn't cross them did you?! Now I can't upload photos. The Google + app which I spent so long installing does nothing and the manual one at a time method which worked fine yesterday is mysteriously not working today.

I. Hate. Blogger.

That is all.

First fasting day.....and first pictures from my phone!!

It was my first  fasting day yesterday and it went well.  To be honest, I'd say my calorie intake was nearer 700 than 500 but I don't feel too bad about that as it was my first attempt and I went for a run along the canal towpath at lunchtime and to dancing in the evening. I ate as extras half a cold sausage and a cereal bar before dancing but, if not for those, my intake would've been stellar. I managed to say no to a Magnum Mini AND not feel hard done by when Rich ate his (having had to be reassured repeatedly that it was okay!).

As you can see, it was a glorious day so I was genuinely looking forward to getting out running. I didnt feel at all bothered by having less food in my system so figure that I must have sufficient reserves (which is no great surprise).  It is helpful to reminded that being a bit hungry is not the end of the world.

Why is everything so difficult?? All I wanted to do was to upload photos from my phone onto the blog. This has necessitated registering for Google + (as it turned out, needlessly) and numerous failed attempts.  However, I seem to have managed it now, somewhat clumsily, so I can introduce my personal cygnets to you. Tadaaaa

They were on their own so maybe their parents have lefthem to fend for themselves now. I will report how they get on after my next few runs. (See how optimistic I am!!)

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New plan

The damn laptop has stopped working again. I really need to get it sorted properly but it's one of those jobs which seems difficult to pin down. Grrr

Anyway, I met my pal Jenny for lunch today in Hayfield. It was a foul day until around 2 so the planned walk was dropped. We were discussing diets over lunch (as you do) and inevitably the 5:2 diet came up. I've been resisting it but now so many pals have had success with it, I'm going to give it a go.  We have set ourelves a 6 week pre-Christmas challenge starting tomorrow. Watch this space!!