Live to Slim - Bring It On

La Dolce Vita....in the snow.....

2012-02-10T20:59:00.002Z

Just getting to Rome was a bit of a struggle. We had been expecting the snow on Saturday afternoon so booked a hotel in Manchester airport to be sure of catching our flight early on Sunday morning. We hadn't expected it to start quite so early though so struggled even to get home from the football in Sheffield. In the end, driving to the hotel proved impossible so we managed to slither to the station and took the train! Here we are setting off...

We were impressed by the train so might use it again to save parking fees. We were definitely right to stay over too as we would never have made it overnight. Even then the plane was delayed for a couple of hours while the plane was repeatedly de-iced.

It wasn't snowing when we reached Rome but the locals were all a'buzz because it had chucked it down on the Saturday. The first proper snow in Rome for 27 years apparently. It was freezing cold and the streets and pavements were very icy. But it was pretty too.

As we drove into the city from the airport we could see clearly that Rome is not designed for snow. The lovely bushy evergreen trees lining every road gathered up the snow rather than shunting it downwards. Broken branches were everywhere along with smashed up cars which had been parked beneath them. I hope there were no pedestrian casualties.

We arrived, found our hotel and headed straight out for a walk. We found an EXTREMELY uninspiring cafe for lunch (just before we came across a slew of much nicer looking places of course) and then headed down Via Nazionale. At the end of the street was a flight of icy steps below...which we took somewhat randomly.

What a view greeted us at the botom of the steps! Roman Rome opened up before us. It was truly awe-inspiring.

The giant column is Trajan's Column. It is carved with reliefs and quite stunning. The guidebook says there is a spiral staircase inside but not open to the public!

The white marble monstrosity atopped with bronzes is the Victor Emmanuele II Memorial. It is huge and totally overblown - King Victor Emmanuale II was the first king of the unified state and clearly not short of ego! The positioning of the memorial is poor, dominating the ancient Roman area of the Via dei Forii Imperiale, the Forum and Trajan's Column and market. Hey ho...

As with everywhere in Rome though, you're never far from a church! We didn't go inside this one - my guidebook won't even tell me what this particular beauty is called! (Obviously the beauty in front of it is called Richard!)

Because of the snow all the Roman sights were closed for the whole time we were in Rome. We could walk along the street and look down onto the Forums, Palatine and at Trajan's market but we could not go in and poke around. What a shame - I did latin A-level aeons ago and have always been interested in Roman history so it was sad not to be able to get up close and personal. But not many people get to see this place with a covering of snow!

A Corinthian column (I didn't see the seagull on top when I took the pic.)

Trajan's market. This did open on the Tuesday afternoon but proposed charging us full price but without allowing you out into the external areas...a swizz!

Me, much bundled up against the cold. It was at or below freezing the whole time.

Just look at that! An ancient Roman city just spread out in front of you. Clearly recognisable as forums, temples, villas, markets, baths. Stunning.

And then the Colosseum. It's pretty impressive, even when you can't go inside and have a look. Richard's dad told us not to bother going inside anyway - it's just piles of rubble! But I would have liked to go in.

Constantine's Arch - you could picture triumphal parades of slaves and captured armies.

It's quite a sporting structure, even now. Apparently the internal walkways were built especially wide and clear to enable the huge (and feisty) crowds to get to and from their seats in less than 10 minutes!

The closest we could get to the gladiatorial arena....

The sun peeked out eventually and the sky became blue for an hour or so. Lovely.

Then back to the hotel stopping for a few (very expensive beers along the way). It was in the first pub we stopped in that we discovered that Roma WERE playing at home that day. The internet had informed us that, unusually, they were playing the Saturday before. If we'd known, we'd had raced to the Stadio Olympico for the game. Gutted. Especially when we discovered that the home team had beaten Inter 4-nil. That would have been some atmosphere.

And that was the end of our first day in Rome. Well, not quite - we went to the Trevi Fountain and had a lovely meal in a restaurant called "That's Amore"...a good day!

I need a Holidaaaay!!

2012-02-03T17:08:00.000Z

I've been singing (in my head) a rubbishy 80's tuune all day: "Hands up, baby, hands up...give me your heart, gimme gimme your heart gimme gimme...." etc. (And now YOU will be too!). But I've just noticed that I've been, quite unconsciously, substituing the words "I need a holidaaay!" for the proper lyrics (if you can call them that) "why don't you follow meee??"

The brain....it's an amazing thing.

Why is it that being about to go on holiday precipitates an avalanche of work?? I've been trundling along quite nicely at work, nothing too manic, for weeks if not months. Then this week it has all gone crazy. This week being the week before we try and take 3 measley days holiday! Why, God, Why??

So, I've had to cope with that as well as doing all the pre-holiday stuff. Which is never-ending - money, airport parking, checking repeatedly to avoid Ryan Air's preposterous charges if you don't have EXACTY the right printed version of your online boarding pass and that your luggage and cabin baggage is not a millimetre too big! (I HATE Ryan Air but their flights end to be the best...what can you do?).

The holiday stuff also got in on the act and became more complicated by the addition of weather worries. We are flying at 6.30am on Sunday morning. Latest weather predictions say that it will start to snow between here and Manchester airport on Saturday evening and through to the early hours of Sunday - not good!! So we've decided to drive over to a hotel within the airport on Saturday evening and stay over so we can be sure of getting there. Extra cash - just what you don't need but better than wasting the money we have spent on the holiday by NOT GETTING THERE!

By doing this, of course, we have now guaranteed that it does NOT snow, or only very lightly so that we will be conscious tht we didn't need to stay over the night before at all. (Whereas, if we had NOT arranged to stay over, the snow would have been deep and crisp and even....)

So, while trying to do this AND work at furious pace all day I have become somewhat frazzled. I have been adding stuff to my to-do-list as fast as I can cross stuff off but I think I'm just about there. We're only going away til Wednesday - how can it be this complicated??

Anyway - I'm now officially finished with work and can finally look forward to ROME! Romantic, lovely, cultural, foodie Rome. I cannot wait. There will be photos. The weather is saying very cold but at least 2 sunny days so I hope that it is right. Yaaaay!!

Postscript to the Blues

2012-02-01T07:09:00.003Z

Well I managed to drop 2 lbs last week after all so that's good news. And, although we didn't have "The Talk" because of time after his brother had left, I told Rich that I was sad and he seemed to know exactly what to do so now I'm not sad any more. Which is also good news.

Sad sometimes

2012-01-31T16:56:00.000Z

Isn't it weird how you can be trotting along quite nicely and suddenly feel like everything is on top of you? Well, that's me today. I've been working hard (am working from home), not over-eaten, been for a run and done some household chores so it's been quite a productive day but the blue feeling has just built and built.

The trouble is, Shelagh has picked up on it and won't leave me alone...she's pawing at me and wants to be on my lap and stare into my eyes which just makes me feel more emotional. Minty was the same earlier.

I want to talk to Rich about it but I also want to be sure that I'm not just over-reacting and putting everything on him. It's one thing to ask for support and a cuddle but it's another if part of the reason you feel sad is because the person you want support from is the one who seems increasingly distant and unromantic and that's what is making you sad.

I feel sort of silly seeking "romance" but it's more than that. It's wanting to guard the love affair that we have. Not to let it slide into mediocrity. And to acknowledge that nothing is perfect and everything can slip once in a while. Well, I feel that we're slipping now and that makes me sad. I MUST summon up the bravery to talk about it to him. I know it sounds silly but after all these years the learned behaviour of avoidance and appeasement is still strong in me. I MUST not bottle it up and just talk to him - he's not an ogre and would be hurt to kow how hard this is for me.

But also, I must try and see this from his point of view too - not blame and say how everything is about what HE does. It's mostly a problem of perception I feel. I don't seriously doubt him but need more reassurance than he seems to want to give. I suspect that the happier and more secure HE feels, the less reassurance and security he gives me but I don't know and need to just ask him.

I hate feeling sad like this though.

I used to have a friend back in University days - Sandra - we've lost touch I'm afraid. She used to say - don't be afraid of your feelings, if you feel sad, embrace it, acknowledge it, it's your truth. I used to think - rubbish - you can just smile your way through it and jolly well cheer yourself up! That to "wallow" is self-indulgent twaddle.

Now I think there is probably a middle way, that sometimes there is value in acknowledging one's feelings and emotional states. Although someitmes it is better just to get on with things and go for a walk!!

I wish though that I had not asked his brother over fro supper to go through some legal paperwork! I could really do with a free evening to talk this through and I now I feel I'll have to be sociable and superficial! Bad timing or what?

Anyway, I'm off to WI shortly - I strongly suspect it'll be another STS or hopefully a minimal drop. I'm doing well for most of the week and then going out on a big day out (this week was an away coach trip to Blackpool!) which undoes all my efforts. Hey ho - there are more important things to worry about I feel.

Aaaaargh! Treading water.

2012-01-25T16:20:00.001Z

A few sunny pics of the dogs in the big field at the end of our road. I love this field - it's massive and full of interesting nooks and crannies.

I was surprised to find this sort of moat on top of a hillock right at the top of the field. I wonder if it is some sort of ancient dwelling/fort or summat. Must look into it.

Shelagh sticking to her grumpy guns.

Another view of the immortal Win Hill

As I suspected, I didn't lose any weight last week; I had a stay the same. So, in one way, I'm pleased with that as I REALLY didn't want to have a gain. A STS is manageable, just. Buut, I felt as though I did enough last week to lose some weight so was a little unhappy.

Hopefully though, as long as I keep faith with what I'm doing, keep tightening up my diet and exercise, the loss will catch up with me soon. Like Seren from WW Foodie this week, having a good loss after a couple of weeks of poor losses. She kept the faith and has been rewarded. I can do the same.

In other news, I've been experiencing a strong burst of spring-cleaning fever! I have at long last ventured down to the huge basement and liberated several assorted bags and boxes, sifted through the contents and either put away or arranged for their disposal. Most satisfying.

The huge basement is both a blessing and a curse. When we moved into this house last spring, Richard had to move out of the flat he had been living in for the last 10 years. It was small but FULL. Because he'd effectively moved out 6 months earlier, his motivation to clear and pack in an orderly fashion was looow. So, although he did chuck out a huge amount of stuff, we also ended up, through inertia and lack of time, bringing far too much to this house. We chucked it all in the basement the week before we moved in properly and there most of it has stayed.

The trouble is, I already had lots of furniture and household stuff from my house and the cottage we rented so we didn't actually need most of his (not as nice) things. I have had a few half-hearted attempts at tackling the basement and unpacked a few boxes of kitchen gear and books but that is it.

But finally, with thought of spring on the distant horizon, I seem to have found the energy required to tackle the bags and boxes with sustained vigour. This mostly involves dragging tatty carrier bags or damp boxes upstairs, sifting through the tat inside and consigning most of it to the recycling/bin. It has, however, yielded a few decents finds. Quantities of useful household stuff - kitchen cleaning products, bathroom stuff, a pair of slippers, spare duvet covers and sheets, towels, tea towels, christmas cards, wrapping paper, birthday cards - all handy stuff.

The frustration comes from the realisation that last April when I was skint I went out and bought 2 sets of bedroom curtains which I didn't need. I found today 2 quite pleasant sets of curtains which with a wash and iron would have been perfect and would have saved me hard cash. Grrr...

There is still much to be done but a good start has been made. Hopefully this home spring-cleaning will lead to gardening when the weather improves....one can but dream!

No movement but lots of walking.....

2012-01-23T15:26:00.004Z

We went for a walk on Sunday afternoon. The weather forecast confidently asserted that it would be sunny and the winds would drop by midday but, I'm sorry to report, this was not the case. It was really windy and raining as we arrived so we adjusted our route from 5.5 miles to 4 miles and I'm quite pleased we did - 4 was just enough! Especially as I had not realised that our route would include a 2 massive hills! I thought it would involve going down the hill into the valley and then walking out and back in a big loop. I didn't realise that the "back" was right back along the top of the top of hill before heading down to the bottom and then back up again!

Anyway, we start at Monsal Head with a nice steady downhill through the woods.

To the River Wye, flowing as fast as I've ever seen it, on the valley floor.

The lovely waterfall. My map seemed to show us crossing the river at this weir/waterfall so I was pleased to see a little bridge just round the corner!

Everything was mossy and green. Even though the trees are bare there was still plenty to look at and admire.

Even if its just the first rays of sunshine peeking over the hilltop.

Here we're halfway up the unexpected hill - it was long and steep - and unexpected....

It didn't seem to faze Minty though - sticks were collected and disposed of the whole way up the hill but this one was the prize....far too big for her!

It was perfect timing - we just hit the top and an oldish woman walking on her own strode up behind us at a formidable pace. I dared to ask her to break stride to take a photo of us together which she agreed to do "as long as it's idiot-proof!". She did a pretty good job eh? Most impromptu photographers tend to leave us hidden in a tiny corner, chop off feet or with our faces shaded.

I took this one - the oldish lady was long gone making us feel very unfit!

I'm glad we did have to climb the unexpected hill - the views werantastic and the wind was, erm, bracing.

Walking on a track running along the edge of the river valley - stunning - felt like we were on top of the world as it was so open and clear.

The boys on their noisy offroad bikes also enjoy the scenery - these ones were quite polite and thanked us for interrupting our walk to gather up the dogs to allow them to pass safely. Many don't though which irritates me!

And back to the valley bottom, again. (A different bridge though.)

What comes down must go up...here we are back at the top, nearly at the car. What a view!

It was a lovely weekend as usual. Football on Saturday (disappointing result of a draw against Hartlepool). A great dinner with my old schoolfriend Jenny and her partner Joff. It was really nice and relaxed - Rich and Joff seemed to get on well and we had a good night. To be repeated. Nice to be able to socialise with both Jen and her OH.

I was pretty good foodwise as I chose to drive on Saturday night so healthy food (Jen always good that way) and only one glass of wine.

But the scales are not cooperating - there has been NO movement all week, either up or down! So, hopefully I can sneak half a lb off tomorrow night - fingers crossed!

Bad timing

2012-01-21T11:34:00.001Z

It was windy but fine first thing this morning. It is sunny and clear, although still windy now. But, for the 50 minutes when I was out running between then and now, it was foul! Not that cold but raining hard and a swirling,howling gale and very muddy underfoot. What an idiot I am.

But I had pledged to go for a run this morning last night, having got my usual Saturday shop out of the way yesterday lunchtime, so for a run I went! Richard just texted me that I was mental and I believe him!

I had to shower both me and Minty afterwards as somewhere along our route, unseen by me, she rolled in something gross. I couldn't identify exactly where the grossness was situated so had to soak and doggie shampoo every inch of her. Even I felt sorry for her she looked so miserable! Still, she is fragrant and fluffy now so all is worth it.

Dietwise, I don't seem to be doing very well - I'm not losing but not gaining either. Don't know whether it is time of the month isues or whether I'm still eating too much. Will stick to my guns for now, try and tighten up where I can and see how it goes on Tuesday.

We're going to the football this afternoon - Hartlepool at home. I hope we can bounce back from our defeat against Charlton last Saturday. We should do but it's getting nervy now!

After the footie we're going over to Glossop to have dinner with my pal Jenny and her partner Joff. Rich has met Jen a few times but not Joff so I hope that goes well.

And I think, weather permitting, we're heading out for a good hike tomorrow. So, with any luck I'll shift a couple of lbs! Have a great weekend everyone.

What a difference a day makes...

2012-01-20T16:14:00.000Z

It is an absolutely grotty day today. Grey, cold, constant drizzly rain - not one redeeming feature. In fact, it is so grotty that I was genuinely happy to be going to personal training this lunchtime as it meant I did not have to wrestle (probably unsucessfully) with my chimp to force us to go for a run!

So I thought I'd cheer myself up by having a look at some photos I took on Monday when I went for a run at lunchtime. Care to join me for another jog??

As you can see the weather was quite a bit better! It was one of those stunning but frozen days. The temperature never went above freezing and the ground, even in the full sunshine, remained frosted all day. (Great to run on as no slip-sliding in the mud.)

You have seen pictures of this route before but that was on a grey, wet sort of day - it looks totally different with the pale blue sky and bright sunshine lighting the way. Below is the beginning of the big Hazelbadge field at the end of our road.

Looking left towards Bradwell Edge and Abney

Looking back (with amateurish shadow in view) towards Win Hill. We have already climbed a fair way by now so stopping to take a photo makes a pleasant break to pant!

After the big field we have to cross a road and head up this walled path. It is shaded so dark and totally frozen over. Crammed full of birdlife though.

My camera too a photo of me! I had no idea until I uploaded the pics but I quite like it (apart from the double chin). At least I look happy to be out running. Note silly headband to keep ears from falling off in the cold and floppy hair flying everywhere. My hair is too short to tie back but too long to leave free - most irritating.

Minty disdainfully sniffs at stuff while waiting for me to to catch her up.

But, every now and then, my slow but steady pace fools them and they have to run to catch me up - Go Me!!

At the end of that path, we emerge into the glorious sunshine again to a view of another dale (which we're not going down, or up). We turn right along the lane back toward the other half of the village. More hills.

I love the effect of looking back into the sunshine, and I love to see Minty's ears flapping when she runs!!

Looking right towards the Edge over a frozen water hole.

And left across the fields...

Heavily mossed walls....how long have they been there??

As I had stopped a few times for photograph-taking purposes, I decided to make myself run a bit further as penance. So I turned left up this lane to add a small extra loop (and a big extra hill!).

Which then meant I was running DOWN this hill. Which was pretty slippery. I was, for once, pleased that the local farmers deposit great hanks of mud all over the roads as it gave a bit of grip on the road edges.

How's that for a view from this famhouse though?? I know farming is a hard slog and not always well rewarded financially but that view would make up for a fair bit!

Now we're right down at the bottom of the hill, next to the brook running through the middle of village. It looked as though the brook was steaming but it was really just the vapour rising from the fast flow of water.

Across the brook is the newly refurbished childrens' playground (I didn't do this one - that was Bamford!) and, behind that, the church and the pub, just as it should be!!

All summer the brook was almost dry. The Bradda Dads had to run water down it with firemens' hoses to be able to stage the Carnival Duck race! Rumour has it that it was due to cavers diverting a stream but it could have just been choked with weeds. Anyway, come winter and more rainfall it is back flowing strongly. The Community Service boys (and girls for all I know) were in a few weeks ago clearing it of weeds and rubbish - so now it is pristine too! I bet that was cold - I hope it teaches them not to go mugging old ladies or breaking into peoples' houses any more!

Hope you enjoyed our run - I'll try and find a new route for next time! And - don't go using our run as an excuse for chocolate!!

Softly softly, catchee monkey

2012-01-18T12:24:00.001Z

I'm ALMOST there on this dieting and exercise business. I went to WI last night (and stayed to class - go me!). I thought I had lost a little more weight than that but the scales only permitted a miserly half lb. Hey ho, as I said to a few people who were grumpy about half a lb last week, half a lb is a drop and means that one is heading in the right direction. If you were to lose half a lb every week you would be nearly 2 stone lighter by the end of the year (which is what I'm aiming for really!!).

I estimate that I was about 2 thirds "good" last week. My meals were MUCH better and within SW; I'd cut back on a lot of snacks and treats and cut back on a fair bit of booze too; I'd upped my exercise quotient and managed a few runs. However, there was too little planning which for me inevitably results in too much bread; and too much booze, still. And not enough counting of syns.

So this week I'm going to keeping going on the exercise; cut back on the unacknowledged syns and the bread; and cut back more on the booze.

My first test comes today, Wednesday, the day after my weigh-in last night. I should be going for a run this lunchtime but it is grey, drizzley and cold and I'm not in the mood. And I forgot to cancel the dogwalker so he is due any minute so I don't even need to take the dogs out. And my long length warm running tights are not dry yet. Ooooh, my chimp is going haywire with the excuses!

So, what I decided to do about this dilemma is the following:

I'm not going to force myself to go for a run that I don't fancy. What's the point? But I'm also not going to do nothing. I need an alternative to running anyway. So I'm going to go round to my old house and pick up my mini trampette thingy. I'm going to dig out my card of home exercises provided by the lovely (sadistic) Huw aeons ago and I'm going to do a home workout. Once this has been done, I will have NO excuse in future to not do even a 20-30 minute workout.

This option also has the benefit of allowing me to fit in a couple of shopping type chores which I won't be able to do this evening as we're going to the theatre with Rich's mum for her birthday. We're going to see The King and I at the Lyceum in Sheffield. I have put the makings of a stew into the slow cooker so we can eat before we go so it's all coming together. I do like this working from home business!

And finally - I always like a photo or 2 in a post so here are portraits of my solemn and somewhat unwilling pets!!

Eye contact is very important to a cocker spaniel - as you can see here!!

Dark, nerdy secrets....

2012-01-18T09:22:00.002Z

I have a dark secret....it's time you knew the truth about me....

As some of you may know, I take part in an inter-pub Quiz League during the winter months. I play for my old local in Bamford and every Sunday night from October to April we compete in tense, hardfought, 1 on 1 quiz battles against other pub quiz teams from all over the Derbyshire Peak District. Our team tends to be the youngest of all the 12 teams in the league with an average age in the 40's rather than 60's and we tend to have a better mix of women to men but I do accept that it's still a very "nerdy geek" type of activity.

I know a lot of people enjoy pub quizzes - the turn up with a few friends and play on a Wednesday night sort of events. Taken seriously but not TOOO seriously.

This is not like that. In this league there is a question master, scorer and sometimes a separate timer-keeper! The questions are sent (by the mysterious, nay mythical, question-setter from Burton-Upon-Trent) in a sealed envelope to the pub and must be unopened at the start of the evening. All very stringent.

There are 30 team questions and 5 individual questions (one each). The questions are divided into different categories so both teams answer one question in each category so there is much scope for discrepancies between the 2 questions in each category. Before you start each team nominates 3 categories to be "starred" questions which attract double points - your "jokers" if you will. The individual questions also have to be allocated to each team member from the category only at the start of the game - such pressure if you don't know yours and can see the rest of your team staring at you, clearly knowing the answer...

For the first half of the season, we play all the other teams once, either home or away. Then at the halfway point, the league is split into 2 divisions and we play the teams in our division twice more, home and away. (Like the Scottish SPL if that helps!!)

So, last Sunday was the last match in the first half of the season. We were playing the team at the top of the league - the team that ALWAYS wins - the team that we have never, in 9 years of trying, beaten - the team who were on Eggheads! They're a pretty boring bunch to be honest and travel from miles away (out of the official catchment of the league) to a "pub of convenience" just within the catchment area purely to play in yet another pub quiz league. They really ARE nerdy. All the other teams in the league talk about them 'cos they know so much and are so without character. I've seen them work out the answer to a question by working their way through all the Prime Ministers since 1900 in chronological order and party. (I had never heard of this chap!)

You know what's coming now, don't you??

Yes, you're right - we beat them!

What a triumph. It was close but we overhauled them and won 62-66. AND we won the beer round too so got a free pint/glass of wine each as well. The sweet, sweet taste of success.

After they had left, tails between legs, we chattered long into the night about our famous victory. It was mentioned on Facebook (without a hint of irony). No doubt it will be sung about long after we're gone - erm, perhaps not - but it was very, very satisfying.

What gems of knowledge did we have to retrieve to achieve this mighty feat?? My favourite (because of my starring role, obviously) was knowing which book by Charles Dickens starts with the words "Chapter One - I am born"? I had started David Copperfield THAT DAY and was only on page 41 on Sunday night - I could still remember reading those very words - what are the odds??! (Historically we're rubbish on Dickens too,which is a category that the question-setter seems to love.)

So now, as a result of that victory, we have scraped into the top half of the league and have to play all the tough, boring teams from nasty pubs in villages miles away rather than the nice, friendly, easy teams from cosy pubs nearby. It's not the greatest reward for our endeavour! Hey ho.

We have been a very strange team this year - we have beaten the top 6 teams but lost to the bottom 5. How weird, even the new team which lost to everyone else managed a victory over us whereas the top of the table titans succumbed.

I see it as exercise for the brain - perhaps it'll help me stave off the dementia which is destroying my mother, perhaps not, but it can't hurt. I do the physical stuff to keep my body healthy so why not blog and quiz and learn french to keep my brain active?? And it's a laugh, with beer.....

A Sunday walk (and camera frustrations....)

2012-01-16T12:01:00.000Z

We went for a lovely walk on Sunday. We had planned to go although didn't get out of bed quite as early as planned so were a bit late setting off. But, that apart, we still managed a really good hike.

We started at a layby on the A57 called Cutthroat Bridge! Good start eh? Then headed up onto the moor first crossing a small stream. The sound of the traffic was pretty loud to start but, as we gained height, it gradually receded.

Once we hit the moor proper, the path deteriorated into what look like a peaty quagmire. Luckily, it was frozen sold so we weren't slipping a sliding around. This was, to be honest, one of the reasons I chose this route as I knew it would be a good time to do it! Aren't I clever....tee hee....

Below is the view looking backwards toward the A57. It is the reverse of my favourite part of my drive home. I always love coming over the hill and being able to see Derwent Moor and Win Hill in the distance before me and all the colours of the moor - the heathers, bracken and woods.

The first view of Win Hill's distinctive peak to the right behind Rich.

Gorgeous misty blue views. I bemoaned the lack of my big camera as it might have picked out the weak, milky rays of sunlight flickering through the cloud which you can't see in this shot.

These pics are somewhat frustrating as the conditions were not brilliant; overcast and not bright. You could see that it was brighter in the distance so we were hopeful of some sunshine later though...

Below is a view over to Bamford Edge and Bamford Moor.

At the end of this section you reach Derwent Edge and can peak over into Derwent valley. Below is the top section of the Ladybower reservoir. Lazy Shelagh heads down the hill of course although that is NOT wherre we were going...

So she had to race back up the hill to catch up with us!

We headed out along Derwent Edge and could see the sunshine creeping closer to us from behind.

The Edge stretches out in front of us.

The girls take in the view. Shelagh HATES having her photo taken. She has an uncanny knack of knowing exactly when I'm about to press the shutter and turns away a split second beforehand. So then I have to make her pose for me which she hates, as you can see from her expression. Minty, on the other hand, is quite relaxed, just taking in the air.

Due to time constraints we turned off the Edge itself and followed a path running below it. Above us loomed the rocks of Winstanlea Tor

Then we had a choice: Derwent of course - Moscar is MILES away!

Me looking tubby - although some of that could have been the sheer number of layers I was wearing in the freezing temperatures!

Finally the sun came out to play for a brief moment! Doesn't everything look lovely in the sunshine?

We're heading downhill now, towards the reservoirs.

Eventually you descend below the heather line and into meadows. This paths seems ancient, carved deeply into the land like a stream. It's on National Trust land so well cared for and yesterday was littered with various volunteers chopping down saplings and doing various useful jobs.

We came across a little barn - all set up with a bench and leaflet dispenser - for sheltering or taking one's lunch in I presume. Then I spotted these little ceramic tiles set into the stone - how pretty.

Hey - they're drawn by the pupils of Bamford Primary school. Cool.

I couldn't take pictures of them all so just chose a couple but I really liked them. Anything which encourages kids to think about nature and enjoy it is a good thing in my book.

Rich and Shelagh in the barn. She had just turned her back on me once which is why Rich is grinning at me!! Even here she managed to turn her head at the last minute!

Here we are at lakeside. I liked the way the milky sunshine was hitting the water looking more like moonlight than sunshine.

And then comes the "frustrating" part of the walk. It's a new camera and I didn't notice the "re-charge battery" warning light. It died on me. Grrr. ((Although, on the upside, it has spared you from another 10 or so pics to wade through and probably kept this blog post to a manageable length...)

I was really enjoying taking lots of pics because it makes you look with a keener eye than if you're just walking along. It makes you notice the different landscapes and colours and little signs and pictures.

Even more annoyingly, about 10 minutes later, the sun came out properly and we were bathed in gorgeous setting sunshine. You know, the sort of golden light you get as the sun gets lower on the horizon and reflects on the bracken and rocks, and it stayed with us for the rest of our walk back to the car.

Anyway, photos or not, it was heavenly. 3 hours out in the fresh air, a few hills to climb for exercise, some chat, some nature, gorgeous views. Bliss.

I wasn't sure whether Rich enjoyed it as much as me as he's not such a chatterbox as me and I don't like to constantly badger him with "are you having a good time??" type enquiries. He seemed happy but you never know really... But last night, when talking about next weekend, he said - I'd like to go for another proper walk on Sunday - so I assume he did. So I'll have some fun this week planning a route, making sure my camera is charged and hoping that the weather is halfway decent! I have seen some reports that snow is on its way but not sure if it is heading for the Peaks yet.

Looking back to see where I'm going.

2012-01-13T16:06:00.003Z

Well, the last few days have been pretty good. I have definitely had a different mindset regarding diet and exercise to the one prevailing for the last few months. I used to say that I've been in a "fog" and I think the fog re-appeared for a while there becaues that's what it feels like now.

I can see clearly now the rain has gone... But what caused the rain I have no idea. I was happy and enjoying life, just floundered into a dieting and exercise fog and couldn't seem to get out of it.

But I 'm out of it now so that's a good thing and something to celebrate and enjoy.

I was looking through LOTS of photos the other day in an idle hour. And got to looking at my slimmest pics. It's strange that there really aren't that many of me when I was at my thinnest. I suppose I wasn't there for THAT long but it would still be 6-8 months. Surely I should have been so excited about being, get this, a SIZE 10-12, that I should have had daily photos taken to record the fact.

Evidently not. Maybe I was complacent and thought that, having done the unimaginable and lost 9 stone, there is no way I would put any back on??! Tee hee. Man that was dumb if that's what I thought. Now I know that keeping it off is waaaay harder than actually losing.

Here are few of my favourites from the late summer of 2007:

This is me at Calver Bridge with Shelagh and probably most accurately records the weight I'd like to be NOW, please.....

Me with my still skinny mates. Looking even slimmer than them for one month only! I do remember though that I was just about still on the LL plan that night so I didn't eat or drink anything other than water. Danced like a mad thing, had a good night but didn't really get into it and felt guilty for having ONE onion bhaji as I left to walk home!!

Oooh, look at that skinny neck and boney back - love it!!

I wasn't drinking that night either. Which probably explains the clear skin and shining eyes...whoops, perhaps drink not ALL it's cracked up to be...

We had been picking sloes, hence the carrier bag!

Me with my (former) friend Shelley (the nasty piece of work who publicly unfriended me on FB a little while ago!) on the day I realised I had lost enough weight on LL! Looking back, I am happy with everything apart from not having any bust left at this point. I think I was trying to achieve slim legs hence went for an extra half stone off. But I know now that I will NEVER have slim legs so I may as well enjoy having a bust instead!

Anyway, all this wandering through the archives has reignited my desire to be properly slim again and showed me that I am kidding myself to say I'm happy with where I am now weightwise. I'm happy with my life and myself but I DO want to lose 2 if not 3 stone. And above is my inspiration!

Right, that's it!!

2012-01-10T20:00:00.001Z

I'm sick and tired of shilly shallying around.

I lost a load of weight last summer/autumn. I then lost my way and have gradually, with a few forward and backward steps, put nearly all of it back on. So, I'm starting my traditional January diet once again. But this time, not from my heaviest, just from my previous starting weight.

It's frustrating but not, surprisingly, depressing.

I went to weigh-in AND STAYED TO CLASS this evening and I feel energised and re-motivated. I thought I would feel hacked off with myself and bleak, especially as there is a woman in my class, who started on the same day as me and who has now lost 2 stone 4 lbs!

But I didn't. I looked at the motivational sayings on the desk in front of me and read one that said "You cannot fail until you give up". And I know it's trite and twee but it resonated with me. I thought - "There's no failure here. I haven't given up and never will!" All I need is to actually DO the diet and I'll be back losing in no time.

It's never too late to take the first step - yep, yet another motivational saying - but this is it, another first step.

PS. Another lather, rinse, repeat behaviour pattern of mine is always to fail to notice and mark milestone posts. Like my last one which is, amazingly, my 800th! Can't believe I've blathered on through that number of posts...thanks for ~~enjoying every minute~~ sticking it out you ~~lucky~~ misguided souls....

2012-01-09T15:58:00.002Z

Do you fancy coming for a lunchtime run with me on this grey and gloomy day?? Well, tough, you're coming anyway!! I chose the least muddy route I could think of given the massive rainfall we have had recently.

We start at Hope on the lane leading to the cemetary. Given it's sad connotations, it is a lovely spot just outside the village. I have never seen so many birds thronging the hedgerows! I couldn't catch any of them on film though as it was too dark and they flew too fast. The dogs don't aid this endeavour with their running and barking.

Below is a new addition to the landscape since I last walked this way - a school wildlife garden. How very fancy. I don't remember anything like that back in MY day but applaud it heartily.

Past the conservation area, we turn up hill and under the railway bridge. Puff pant...

Glance left and you'll see one of my favourite houses up on the hill. I would love a view like that....

But, assuming that I'm not going to be affording that house any time soon, how about this tiny, secluded and very pretty caravan site(the fenced area just ahead)? Normally I find caravan sites quite uninspiring but this one is lovely and within walking distance of the village too so pubs and takeaways handy-ish.

This is the view from the caravan site. It really is a gloomy day today isn't it?

Did I mention that it is WET?! Every tiny trickle of a stream is gushing. I hear that the reservoirs are full after only a couple of weeks having been dangerously low for months.

Minty found a stray late Father Christmas. She approached with caution but he didn't attack (and neither did she, amazingly!).

Now we turn off the track onto the road and up hill (again)

While I'm dragging my sorry backside up the hills, the dogs have more important matters to deal with - sticks!! Shelagh is a past mistress of camera avoidance but Minty always happy to oblige as a model. It was deadly serious.

Sticks had to be carried for as long as possible and then buried in a secure location. If either dogs thinks I might have observed the burial spot they may (depending on how good the stick is presumably) be forced to abort and find another spot. I therefore have to take photographs covertly and on zoom, hence the poor quality!

Here they are "fully loaded" but on the leads so burial is thwarted....panic mode ensues...

Now we're on the quiet lane leading to Aston. It feels so ancient, as if the road has dug itself into the hillside like a stream (which it looks like much of the time). I wonder how long those trees have been hanging on with their roots becoming ever more exposed and precarious?

But plenty of people live up here. I would find it too quiet and remote but it is very pretty.

Now we turn back - yay!! Although it is an out-and-back run, I make a small loop at the far end for the sake of variety and to nose at another one of my favourite houses in the Valley which is pictured below. It's for sale! I looked it up to discover that it's available for a cool £750k but, alas, under offer. Who says properties aren't moving?!

Gorgeous views eh?? And the weather is finally improving too.

Minty gets really busy on the burying front....stick after stick plunged into the undergrowth never to be seen again. Do you think dogs have a role in environmental recycling - a bit like dung beatles or something??

Now we're back on the track returning to the cemetary and the sun is really making an effort now. I've forgotten to be tired, only partly because I've stopped so many times to take photos (and wait while they bury sticks) that I'm not really that tired!!

For the sake of variety (and because I was getting carried away), I decided to brave the mud and struck off to the left across the fields. It was VERY wet. But a nice view through the railway tunnel.

Yes, I fell over - I was wondering how I was going to get over an impromptu stream which had appeared from nowhere and failed to stay upright.

Give us a hand??

So, back to the car muddy and very happy and having run off a few calories. Not the most energetic of runs but a fun one which might stop me dreading the idea of running in future....you never know!

Thanks for joining me.

Janus...

2012-01-06T09:12:00.004Z

As usual, my lack of original thinking as left me seizing on someone else's comments for inspiration! Tee hee Peridot's mention of the Roman God Janus set me thinking. I've been wanting to do a spot of navel-gazing for a few weeks but, for some reason, my posts have stuck to the resolutely practical and factual. So the mention of Janus, the two-headed gatekeeper who looks backwards over the year just ended and forwards towards the year just starting, has provided enough of an excuse for me to get started. Yay, thanks Peri!

Last year. 2011. My overall impression is that it was a very good year. I think of it as being suffused with a rosy glow of being in love and loved. Of lots of golf, football, nice meals, cuddles, a pretty house, a nice holiday, happy families and of the hurts of the previous year receding and fading.

That's not very scientific though, is it?? "Suffused with a rosy glow" could hide a multitude of cans of warts....

Truly, when I cast my mind back, the beginning of the year was not that great. The winter was hard which caused issues with driving to work and working from home was still somewhat frowned upon. Despite having a working open fireplace my previous landlady, for her own irritating reasons, had asked me not to use it so the house was quite cold. I was then, for the same irritating reasons, given notice to leave the cottage after just 6 months which prompted Rich and I to decide to move in together properly, ie him to give up his virtually unlived-in flat and to find a place together. Although for a good cause, that caused several months of anxiety while finding a suitable place which would take dogs in the required timescale. Then there were the 2 moves themselves which were hard work and expensive.

This takes us up to 1 April. In the meantime, I was trying to get my old house cleaned and tidied and ready to be put on the market. D had left the place in a tip and I had to take 2 full weeks leave in order to do the work. This was further hampered by not being able to do anything while he was around and by him draining the system down without notice meaning these weeks had to be jigged around at the last minute and under pressure. This was not a happy time really; being up to one's elbows in the grubby detritus of one's former marital home is a guaranteed way to be reminded of the bad times, believe me.

At that time, D was still technically living locally while not on the rig so, although he wasn't around much, there was always the possibility of contact and the tension that resulted from it. Things were still, back then, very raw. There was a huge amount of conversations and correspondence with my solicitor and the angst and expense that came with them.

Our divorce came through in May although financial arrangements would not be sorted for some time thereafter. I can't say that the actual fact of being divorced caused any particular reaction. I was neither happy nor sad, relieved nor regretful. I don't mean to sound as though marriage means nothing to me by that - merely that, my mourning for a failed marriage had been done long ago, mostly during the marriage itself. The decree was just a piece of paper which was read and then discarded. The bottle of champagne in the fridge door which I had thought might be opened in celebration was not even considered.

Even Sheffield Wednesday couldn't provide much solace. Last season limped to a pathetic end and, while we were not in grave danger of relegation at the end, the standard of play was woeful and there was very little joy at Hillsborough. But we weren't relegated again, thank God and we were saved from the debt which dogged us by our current ~~hero~~ chairman, Milan Mandaric. February brought us a new, decent manager in the form of lifelong Owl Gary Megson so hope was starting to grow at Sheffield 6.

Things really began to settle down in early summer. Our lives settled into a nice routine of golf and walking and I started to get the new house knocked into shape. The routines of our lives stabilised into happy ones.

My weight has, over the 2011, gone up a bit, down a bit, up a bit and ended around the same. Exercise and fitness likewise. We had been intending to train to do the Three Peaks in July but, given all the upheavals of spring knew we would not be able to devote enough time to it so pulled out. This was a sensible decision but also a shame.

Positives over the year were the golf - my love of the game grew greatly; I became a lot more confident playing new courses and tougher mentally. Negatives were that we didn't carve out enough time to go on decent hikes. That had been a feature of our first year together which I loved. I WILL make sure that we do more walking in 2012! Lots of dog walks but not so many day long walks. Despite financial pressures, I managed to maintain my personal training throughout the year which is important to me. I was doing well in going to swimming and pump classes in the gym near work for much of the summer/autumn but this is now under pressure due to our office move.

With autumn came a lovely holiday in Northumberland. Heaven, heaven, bliss, bliss. We will be going back.

Since the new season started, Sheffield Wednesday has been BRILLIANT! We're second in the table and Rich and I haven't seen them lose yet, home or away! We've had fun away trips to Hartlepool, Sheffield United, Tranmere, Oldham and Preston. My fingers are crossed. Long may it continue.

Our families have been a big plus. My father had been a bit raw about the split in 2010. Struggling to understand why I had left D and feeling guilty that he had not known how bad things had been nor been able to help me. He was always brilliant and supportive with me but wasn't ready to meet Rich for a while until his mind had caught up with the reality of the situation. Once they met though, it's been great. Rich and Dad get on well and Rich makes it very easy for me to see plenty of them and is willing to visit or have them visit us often. It's nice and relaxed. His family have always welcomed me with open arms which is great. I hope that's because they think I'm good news for Richard. We saw lots of all of them last year, probably more than Rich would normally do if truth be known...

Other downsides:

It's a shame that my old house has still not sold which means that financial pressures continue but I've managed to get these on a more even keel so, although I'm not awash with cash, we're comfortable and stable.

Not much travelling. See above. It'd be nice to be able to plan more exotic holidays but that will come.

The move to our new offices at work has meant that my job seems a bit "harder". Hopefully this will disappear in time.

I've lost some friends through the divorce. It's a shame but I have plenty of real friends and would see it as their loss. (Well, I would, wouldn't I??)

I had a horrid 9 week spell of illness in the autumn....grrr.

Other upsides:

More working from home is great - more dog-walking, less driving, cheaper, it just makes life easier.

Plenty of good times with good friends.

I've done loads more cooking and developed a wider repertoire of interesting meals.

Christmas was gorgeous.

I worked through the painful feelings from my divorce and marriage and came to an understanding of what happened, why and my part in it.

I'm still as much in love with Rich and he with me as we were at the beginning of the year. Long may it last.

So, my initial rosy glow was not far from the mark. Every challenge has been met with a generally happy heart. When I have been down and sad, Rich has listened and responded. I've learned to be a lot more confident in us than I was and less frightened of even the most minor of confrontations. I also relaxed. And grew up some more. So....I hope 2012 is as good but maybe a little less momentous if you don't mind....

Take a Christmas Eve walk with us

2012-01-04T16:40:00.000Z

It was a chilly Christmas Eve. I had done most of my chores and Rich was nursing a serious hangover from his lad's afternoon out in Sheffield on "Mad Friday". I had booked the afternoon for a walk ages ago. I suggested Bradwell Edge. My suggestion did not go down too well. So, off we set and, to my surprise, when we got to the turn off for the Edge, we took it!

Here is Shelagh, partway up looking over our little enclave in the village.

A little further...views not great....LOTS of mud underfoot.

Poor Richard....that hill is not easy for hungover chaps...

But the views start to look good soon. The big "Blot on the Landscape" is the Castleton Cement Works a large and valued local employer but not the prettiest addition to the Hope Valley.

If you just shift the camera a couple of inches to the left though - the lovely village of Bradwell nestles in the folds of its valley unhindered by nasty cement works!

An unflattering photo of me with the dogs who appear to be engaged in unfriendly doggie politics

At the top the view towards Shatton and Bamford

Rich looking a little happier now we're on the downward stretch.

It's a steep hill...look, proof!

The sun appeared just briefly on the way down. This is the view towards Win Hill (on the right) and Lose Hill (on the left).

Aaaah, my lovely Richard with Win Hill in the background (and Minty snuffling around somewhere in the undergrowth).

And...breathe....And....diet....

2012-01-04T09:56:00.002Z

It seems as though I'm here at this same point every January. Starting yet another effort to lose and keep off weight. But, strangely perhaps, it's not getting me down this year. That makes a pleasant change from previous Januarys when I have been down, depressed, beating myself up for being back in the same dieting boat and lacking in hope that anything will change.

This year, I have been actively looking forward to the restraint of January. I have not being going mad on food or drink anyway although lots of goodies have been consumed. The difference is in HOW they were consumed. I may have had cake or mince pies or too much wine but I never ate just for the sake of it; because it was allowed. I ate in the appropriate situations and not much more than I needed.

As a result, and probably mainly due to a little too much Christmas cheer and not enough exercise rather than food intake, I have only gained a couple of lbs. I went to SW last night quite cheerily and with no dread in my heart. It was not the shaming failure it used to be and I didn't slink through the doors. It's part of what will no doubt be a lifelong process to keep my weight to a reasonable level and look after my health. There is no shame in that.

So, I'm back to sensible eating and increased levels of exercise and I'm quite happy about that. Hopefully I'll start to see some proper losses over the next few weeks.

My endeavour to lose weight which started last August was not a great sucess really. I dropped around 12 lbs but was derailed by a very persistent series of illnesses over the autumn and, once recovered, couldn't get the diet properly embedded before the Christmas season so, effectively, I'm starting again with only a 5 lb drop to show for my efforts. But, the way I look at it. I was gaining steadily over a year; if I had NOT started at SW, I would no doubt have continued to gain and would now, after Christmas, weigh much more.

I have been scouring the foodie mags for interesting and healthy recipes as I have been getting a bit stale in my cooking and am looking forward to trying out a few. It would be nice to break the tyranny of the meat, potato and 2 veg for a while. Rich is going to be the guinea pig for a few interesting attempts no doubt but he's always up for that as long as it doesn't involve spinach!! (Which is quite annoying as several of the new recipes I've spotted seem to involve spinach....I'm debating trying to sneak it in once on the offchance he won't notice as I suspect his dislike of it is historic rather than genuine!)

So - Happy New Year everyone!! May 2012, with all its likely challenges, be a happy, peaceful, fun, loving and healthy year for you and yours.

I'm quite tired now....

2011-12-28T14:23:00.002Z

It has been one of the, if not the, loveliest Christmases I've ever had. Christmas Day was, as I mentioned, bliss. Just to be spending the day together, not having to go anywhere or do anything to any particular timescale. We had a brilliant time together, cooking and listening to christmas songs, walking the dogs, popping into the local. We laughed and laughed, watched abit of telly (but not a lot really) and ate and drank well.

We managed a round of golf on Boxing Day with Rich's younger brother, James, so we had a dose of much-needed fresh air and exercise. Which we then ruined by heading to the pub to see a friend's folk/Irish band play. They were very good but I think it was a few pints too far for Rich, poor man. I was driving so not a problem for me!!

Yesterday (Tuesday) was a heavy day - it seemed as though everyone picked that day for their various events. We had a lunch party at Rich's brother's in Sheffield (roast beef sandwiches....mmmm) which was a mainly child-centric do but nice and relaxing. Then back home for a mad 2 hour cleaning and sheet changing session. Then up to his Mum's for more food. This time a buffet but I think she thought she was catering for three times the number of people....a mind-boggling amount of food for 7 adults and 3 youngsters!

And then off to the station to pick up a couple of mates who were arriving to go to another band on in our local.

They saw them once before so we thought it would be another good night. Which it was. But not watching the band because they didn't turn up!! How rude. The landlord was fuming - he'd advertised, put up posters booked a band to boost his Christmas business and keep his customers amused and then didn't even have the courtesy to phone him to cancel!

Still, the pub stayed pretty busy and we had a good time with David, Nicola and James (Rich's younger brother again). We drank far too much wine and set the world to rights, finishing up back at home with cheese and Christmas cake (yep - I've finally got round to cutting the cake) and port etc etc while watching cheesy pop classics. The port was what inspired me and James to try Christmas cake and stilton - a combination I'd heard was good but had never tried. Mmmmm very nice.

Today we're off to my parents in Lincolnshire. We are moving extremely slowly and looking forward to a quiet night in tonight - no booze and plain food. Maybe a spot of sale shopping in Lincoln tommorow and then supper at my sister in law's tomorrow night. Rich is quite excited about her cooking. She is an excellent cook and he loves Asian cuisine so I hope she comes up with something spicy!

Then back on Friday in time for a weekend of football, New Year's Eve and more football.

Sheffield Wednesday has provided the only sour note of the holiday so far by losing in extra time against Walsall thus dropping down the table from 2nd to 3rd and allowing our local rivals, Sheffield United to go ahead of us!! Very disappointing to concede 2 goals in 3 minutes of extra time.....glum....

But there is still along way to go and we have plenty of time to come back. Preston on Saturday and Tranmere at home on Monday....

Come on yo Blue and White Wizzaaaaards!!!

And then we diet...

Happy Christmas

2011-12-25T20:28:00.004Z

I don't think I've ever posted before on Christmas Day but today has been so perfect so far (and reading the comments on my last post has made it even better) that I just wanted to come here and say - Happy Christmas everyone!!

I hope you've had/are having a wonderful time.

I've had a lovely, lovely time this Christmas - it could not have been nicer - and I hope that you all have been as lucky.

I know that sharing your lives in this little cyber way makes a big difference to me so I hope it does to you too.

Big kiss. Mwah!!

Santa's Scramble

2011-12-23T09:19:00.002Z

Do Lady Golfers have a bad rep?? I never know how we are received. I certainly know that there's enough goes on in golf clubs that we SHOULD (collectively) have a bad rep. I've never come across a bunch of more snobby, old-fashioned, narrow-minded and hidebound traditionalists and I LIKE tradition!!

That said there are many many more lovely women who just want to play a fun game in the outdoors, enjoy the competition, enjoy a sport they can play well into old age and with their partners. So it's not all bad by any means.

These are a few pics I took of our Santa's Scramble competition a week last Wednesday. What a laugh. Due to a date change, my original team collapsed so I was "re-distributed" and ended up playing with the Lady Captain. A bit of a groan when I realised that she wanted us to dress up!!

Luckily, however, the costume was not too onerous - We were snowmen (I had been wearing a hood and hat like the others but was too hot at this stage!) and it just involved a pair of those paper overalls, belt, scarf and hat. It was a tad awkward to swing in but otherwise very toasty and warm.

It was a slow old round so we were forced to keep warm on a mixture of mulled wine (from a flask) and damson gin - the Cinderella team playing behind us enjoyed this bit too! Below an Ugly Sister swigs down the last of the Damson gin!

Me and the Lady Captain before we set off!

A collection of penguins and some Dickins characters....I believe that some costumes were then doctored to allow golf playing afterwards....at least I hope they were...bare legs in December a bit worrying!

The reindeers were disconnected from their sleigh before play....I would have enjoyed seeing them traipsing across the fairways with their golf clubs...

Christmas Trees!! Such a clever costume although I think they cheated and, whisper it, BOUGHT their costumes!!

And, in case you were wondering me and my team won. A Texas Scramble is a fun format - you all drive off then pick the best ball and all take your next shot from that place and so on. In theory you should score really well as each time, you're taking the best of 4 options! As I hit quite a long ball it worked well for our team, especially as the others were quite high handicappers. tee hee...

Who will YOU be missing this Christmas??

2011-12-23T08:45:00.002Z

Please don't think that I now base my life around the diktats of the Daily Mail Online but, once in a while, they do throw up a thought-provoking question. One of yesterday's articles in Femail had 4 writers explaining who they would be missing around the Christmas table and why. Which got me thinking.

As I'm having Christmas in a very small, quiet way with Richard, will I miss anyone or everyone this year? Which then sets you to thinking about which Christmases have been the best over the past decades.

I honestly don't think I'll miss anyone this year. I love my family, truly, but I'm used to not always being with them. It's not as if we ever had a settled run of adult Christmases together or a series of set-in-stone rituals or anything. We have always been quite a semi-detached family I suppose. Probably because we lived abroad throughout our childhoods so went to boarding schools, travelled a lot and now live miles apart. I feel that we're close but close within a losely-linked, widely spread unit rather than being tightly knit geographically speaking. We don't need to be together physically to feel close to each other.

So, not being with my parents or siblings on Christmas is not unusual and won't make me MISS them as such.

That was true within my marriage too as D worked on the rigs so was, more often than not, away for Christmas leaving me to make the best of things. I often found myself being a bit of a spare part at Christmas, tagging on to someone else's family arrangements and, because I was the one on my own, doing most of the cooking and the "fitting in". I didn't really miss him all that much (which is telling when you think about it) as I was used to him being away but I did used to miss being part of a couple. So, I won't be missing D or that feeling either.

When we went to D's family in Ireland I always enjoyed myself but their rituals were so different to those of my family, that it was often a bit disappointing. I remember one year waking up quite late because we'd been in a pub 'til late and walking down to the front room to find that everyone had already opened their presents without us. So, we sat, pretty much by ourselves and opened our presents before lunch - not my idea of Christmas!! I also used to go to a different church to the rest of them which created a sort of aloneness. I would have joned them at the catholic service but it was never suggested and I didn't fancy standing out in a churchyard listening to the service from outside as D used to do!! If I'm going to church, I'd rather BE there and sing some hymns!!

So, so far, can't find anyone or anything I'll be missing.

I know who I missed last year. Richard. I spent Christmas at my parents with some family friends. It was the right thing to do as Dad was still a bit raw about the whole split and he needed help with their guests who are a lovely family. It was a nice Christmas but I was aware all the time that I would rather have been somewhere else and couldn't wait to get back home. I suppose I am missing singing hymns in my home church on Christmas Eve. But I've already arranged to plug that gap as I'm going to a carol service in my new home village.

So this year, we're going to start our own traditions and rituals. We're going to put our little unit at the forefront for a day and hopefully build something lovely for the present and the future.

Are YOU going to missing anyone or anything this Christmas? I hope not, but if you are, I hope it's not long before you're with them again or, if that's not possible, before you can remember them with joy.

A Christmas run

2011-12-21T16:46:00.000Z

I told you I was going to go for a run at lunchtime!! It wasn't the most inviting of days, chilly, misty and grey but not freezing cold and not chucking it down so bearable.

I slogged up and over the hill and then along this lovely walled lane which has a decent incline but is not as steep as the other paths I could take on this side of the road.

In case you're wondering where Shelagh is, she did come with us but doesn't approve of running so hangs back by way of silent protest. once we hit the road and are on the homeward leg she catches up with us and joins in a bit more!

I found a new path through the lovely (but grey) village of Bradwell. At least I can't remember being on it before. I suspect I have but that there have been lots of trees taken out hence now the views (of cloud and greyness!)

Despite the grey wetness of it all, it was a lovely run. I didn't go very fast and stopped to take some piccies as you can see but there were 3 decent hills and I was out for 40 minutes so not a bad little trot. It really set me up (and warmed me through) for an afternoon in my little office at home. I'm getting to enjoy this working from home lark.

I'm enjoying an abstemious few days after all the Christmas lunches in advance of the festive madness. But still looking forward to cutting back in January!!

Life before Christmas

2011-12-21T11:37:00.001Z

I thought you might like a bit of Christmas spirit....a decorated house, all ready for Christmas lunch. Well, actually these were taken before Rich's brothers and sister came over a couple of weeks ago but it should look a bit like this!!

I was chatting to a couple of friends from my "former life" on Sunday night. I was in my old local pub for the pub quiz league match and they were in as usual. This time I had a little more time to chat so I made a point of stopping to pass the time of day. It's strange, I used to think I was really close friends with these 2 guys but time and not having been in touch with them has stripped away the guts of a real friendship.

They stayed very close to D when I first left him and it has obviously been too tricky for them to go out of their way for me too. Maybe it's a boy thing. Maybe they didn't make that much effort anyway and once I moved out of the village and wasn't in the pub they weren't going to stay in touch anyway. I can't see them being pally with Rich although at least one of them has been friendly with him in the past. Maybe it's just too awkward for them to try and steer through the morass of being friends with both of us!!

I suspect women find this a bit easier.

Last night though, they were both really friendly and chatty and seemed pleased to see me and have a chat. I struggle a bit with that sort of surface "chat" knowing that neither of them offered a real hand of friendship when I needed it. But I chatted away and it was (a bit) like old times. Who knows, maybe we will become proper friends or at least friendly acquaintances again one day.

But what really struck me was how different I am now than I was a year ago. My life has changed so dramatically and I'm a new person, and a happier one. I could see the doubt in one of my pal's eyes as he asked how I'm getting on. "Is everything ok??" he said. I said no, not ok - brilliant thanks! But I'm not sure he got it. But I could see the pleasure in his eyes to be catching up again and that reminded me how much I used to like him. What a shame eh?

Anyway, enough of the ruminating. I may be light a few friends but I'm heavy on love, laughter, new friends and fun stuff.

Light on dieting too. I just cannot get into it at the moment. I'm busy so not doing enough exercise and eating what I fancy (which seems to include several Christmas lunches!). Well, it is what it is and I'm actively looking forward to knuckling down to healthy eating and exercise again after Christmas and that's all there is to it. I'm not piling the weight on but certainly not losing it and definitely feeling a little fatter round the middle. To the extent that I'm going to go for a run tomorrow while I'm working from home and am actually looking forward to it!

In terms of Christmas plans, all is going well. Well, well-ish. I have still to ice the Christmas cake although it has been marzipan-ed. I wrote my Christmas cards and have distributed most of them but still have a few to deliver. The house is decorated but needs cleaning again. The presents are bought but most have still to be wrapped and delivered. The food is planned and partly bought but I've not purchased a turkey! It's a kind of "halfway-there" Christmas.

I'm not sure if I mentioned what we're up to. We had invitations to both families but, somewhat daringly, have decided to stay at home and have Christmas "a deux" ("a quatre" if you count the dogs which I decidedly do!). I can't wait and Rich seems to be looking forward to it too. The plan for the big day is nice long lie-in due to having been carol singing/drinking in the White Hart the night before. Prepare lunch and put the turkey in then go for a good long walk with the dogs (and maybe "pop in" to a pub for a "quick one"). Then back home for food and lazing around until the evening when, if we feel like it, we venture out for another trip to the Hart.

The landlord is putting on a games evening involving Wii, darts, giant Jenga, Connect 4 etc. Apparently it has been great fun the last couple of years and sounds like a nice, jolly communal event. We'll probably be joined by some of Rich's family as they sounded quite keen too. I like the idea of going out on Christmas evening as it prevents that bloated sensation of existing in a fug of heat and food. You are forced to walk into the bracing evening air and then stand upright for a while which has got to be better than collapsing in a prone heap in front of the fire for the entire evening!!

We will, of course, be getting out and about after Christmas to see our respective families. We also have plans for some bands and some football so the entire festive period is now looking somewhat booked up but that's good too. It's the same every year - you think that you have ages but, in the end, the 10 days disappear in a blur.

I hope you all have the Christmas you want planned (and that they work out as planned!!).

A proper catch up - and on time too!

2011-12-15T16:59:00.000Z

I have no idea what happened to the formatting of the last post. I tried to justify it and sort the paragraphs out but Blogger stubbornly refused to play. I wouldn't mind but I typed it in exactly the same way as usual so now I fear that all posts will be odd and randomly formatted.

Hey ho, I'm here posting and that will have to be enough for now.

My absence has not heralded a massive slide from grace although nor has it been caused by so much exercise and virtue that I just didn't have time to get to the computer!! It's just been busy as I'm sure you lot are too, although you seem to be coping a bit better than me this year.

My weight is sticking at around the 14.7 mark which is a few lbs over last year's total but not many. I'm not unhappy about that, especially as I am confident that I will be straight back into losing after the festivities are over. I'm not going mad in the meantime, just not losing and I'm still going to weigh-ins so feel that I've not "gone off the diet" which would necessitate a big effort to "get started again".

It has been a struggle though - so many eating and drinking opportunities - Team Christmas lunch on Tuesday; Golf Club Santa's Scramble lunch (or which more later) on Wednesday; Department Christmas lunch on Friday; Rich's work do on Saturday night; and another works girly Christmas lunch on Monday!! Just how much turkey can one fattie eat?? Actually I have varied the menus and tried to pick the sensible dessert options so not too bad. It's saving me a fortune in suppers as I'm hardly eating in the evenings, too full!

Last weekend was lovely - I'm pleased to report that the tree and all decorations are up and look gorgeous. I went for the chicken tartiflette last Friday evening and it was gorgeous too (though I say so myself). Rich's brother and his wife had to turn back when coming over from Sheffield due to snow so there was one left over which I sent home with his other brother for his Dad and Stepmum over the weekend. She had had an operation so I thought it would save her cooking. Lovely and creamy and cheesy (sorry SW!!)

We also managed nearly all the Christmas shopping with the minimum of fuss and actually had a good time in Meadowhell! (Or Meadowhall Shopping Centre as it is known outside the environs of Sheffield) I think the economic doom and gloom is putting people (or at least annoying people) off shopping because I was able to spend several hours in Meadowhell without wanting to kill anyone....it was a first!

The football in Oldham was good too - 4000 happy Owls travelling over the Pennines to watch Sheffield Wednesday beat Oldham and cement our second place in the table. It's by no means secure but we have a teeny tiny cushion over our nearest rivals - Huddersfield who we're playing on Saturday (yikes!) and Sheffield United (say no more). So we head, nervous but happy, into the Christmas period and just hope that our Bue and White boys can hold on for automatic promotion this year...pleeease!!

This coming weekend is going to be equally busy. As mentioned above, there is the scary prospect of Huddersfield on Saturday closely followed by Rich's works do. That is going to be a loooong night as we're being picked up on the coach at 6.30pm and the coach doesn't leave until 1pm. Much drinking, eating and hopefully dancing too. I'm looking forward to it but am also hoping that I can find some people to have fun with as the 2 friends of Rich I do know quite well have both gone away for Christmas, coincidentally both to visit family in Bangkok although totally different families!

Sunday we're going to my parents for a pre-Christmas visit. As we're not going to be with them for Christmas, I wanted to deliver presents and see Dad before. We're going to stay just before New Year for a couple of night too though!

So - I'd better get on with icing my cake and finishing off my Christmas cards as tonight is my last opportunity! I hope you're all happy and organised and looking forward to a lovely festive season.

Whoops... unpublished, out of date post...t

2011-12-15T14:31:00.004Z

Warning - this post is a whole week out of date. I posted it LAST Thursday but for some reason it didn't publish and I haven't been online much so didn't notice until last night. So everything happened LAST weekend. Also, I've NO idea why it hasn't published all the way across the page and can't seem to correct it.

I like this time of year. Especially taking time off "just because". Richard and I have arranged a long weekend and I can't wait. That said, the first morning of it is starting
at 8am tomorrow with personal training! How hard-core is that?? I figured that
Rich will want a lie-in as he's at a charity darts and dominoes night tonight so
I will slip out and go and sweat for an hour to start my long weekend the right
way! The rest of the day will be busy anyway as we have his 2 brothers, one
sister in law and sister and my sister in law coming over for supper tomorrow
evening. The house still needs to be decorated and food prepared....yikes! I
have made a start but there is still lots to be done and it looks like me who
will be doing it tonight....hmmm.

It's been tricky choosing a menu for the festivities. Firstly Rich's sister in law is ostensibly
a vegetarian, but she will eat organic free-range chicken (I don't get it). I'm
not a great veggie cook and certainly wouldn't want to serve a veggie meal for a
dinner party (especially as other siblings aren't keen on veggies) and not to a
presumably experienced veggie cook. So that means chicken. Much as I like
chicken, it's not what I would usually pick to serve. My familiar chicken
recipes are all pretty workaday - roast, fajitas, stir fries, curries etc. I
was leaning towards a Malaysian chicken and prawn curry but that had to be
scrapped when my sister in law (who IS Malaysian) said she could come after
all! I am so NOT cooking Asian cuisine for her - she is a brilliant
cook!

So, it was down to Chicken Tartiflette or a Chicken Tagine with preserved lemons and apricots.
Rich looked a bit dubious about the tagine idea so tartiflette it is. I'll do
one version without the lardons for the chicken-eating "vegetarian" and one
with, for me.... Chocolate fondant for dessert. We haven't entertained much in
our new place - just family lunches - so I'm looking forward to it. And, no, I
won't be counting the syn value of the meal....I won't even be thinking about
it!

Ooooh, that reminds me - I lost 3 lbs on Tuesday night's weigh-in. Not bad, over half of the recent gains are history. Hopefully I can reverse the rest this week and then I'll
(nearly) be back down to my lowest. Not the most sucessful diet ever but I'm
still on it (just) and that means I should begin January with a head start over
my usual routine!

Anyway, back to non-diet stuff. The tree is bought but not decorated yet - that's tonight's
plan. Rich's love of Sheffield Wednesday has finally come out. It's been
indicated that he doesn't like red decorations! How annoying is that?? So my
"folk" decorations in red, white and green are being side-lined in favour of
purple, gold and green this year. Or maybe just gold, haven't quite decided. I
have flat-out refused to go for a blue and white/silver tree - don't like them -
think they look cold and it wouldn't go in our house anyway. I was briefly
taken by the new "jewel" decorations that seem to be everywhere this year -
bright reds, turquoise, emerald green, purple, and pink. Trouble is though -
I'd have had to buy EVERYTHING new and couldn't use my much-loved old
favourites...so I'll stick to a more traditional look. Does everyone else have
these dilemmas or is it just me??

Yesterday was another day off "just because". I'd signed up to play golf but that was
cancelled due to the snow and wet but I couldn't face working once I'd got
excited about a day off. So I got in touch with my pal Vicky who is still on
maternity leave with her 11 month old twins and arranged to go out to play with
her and Rosie and Joe. Chores all morning then off for a nice lunch in
Tideswell (I was half virtuous with the soup and half sinful with the drop dead
delicious brownie) and spot of light shopping in Buxton. The twins behaved
beautifully and it was nice to be able to give Vicky a hand too.

I don't know how she manages to do anything with the pair of them on her own, the logistics
of changing, strapping in and out of chairs and coating up etc are pretty
daunting. But I'm full of admiration for her as she has embraced motherhood
with such grace and a brilliant sense of fun. She is obviously so happy with
her lovely pair but doesn't do what some mums in my experience have done and got
totally obsessed and over-protective of them . She is happy to let you do your
bit and help and that makes going out with them much more relaxing and
"grown-up" somehow. Maybe you have to be like that twins? You certainly have to
leave them in high chairs or cots even if they cry sometimes as you simply can't
be dealing with 2 at the same time!! It is also possible to have a
conversation with her that is not solely about babies. I do like children but
it is nice to still have your friend to chat to as well as a new
mum....

So, that's Friday sorted. Saturday we're off to the away game in Oldham with his Dad (snow and
gales permitting), Sunday is miraculously free (so far) and Monday is dedicated
to Christmas shopping. I can't wait.

A silver lining!!

2011-12-06T16:22:00.001Z

Our lovely lunchtime walk in the slush. It is extremely wet at the moment - all through the summer I've wondered about these stepping stones over nothing - now I understand!

Very friendly horses approached me at speed - cue much Minty barking and dancing around but the horses just wanted to nibble my pockets for treats...unfortunately I had nothing for them (and wouldn't have fed a strange horse anyway!)

The swollen brook - all summer this was a meandering, stony trickle!

And this isn't even a stream at all - it's the road!

Throughout the summer this part of the brook totally dried up due to some cavers diverting an underground waterway up in the hills somewhere. Now it's back for sure!

(The title to this post is apt for me in more than one way - Sheffield Wednesday's "traditional" pop song is Jeff Beck's Hi Ho Silver Lining which is played as the team runs out so I have a soft spot for the song.)

However, in this case, I'm not referring to football. Remember how grumpy I was about our new office and the detested "agile working" which it brings with it?? Well, I have found a silver lining. And it rests in the folds of snow clouds.

It snowed last night and was white over this morning and still snowing lightly although forecast to turn to rain. Not a deep blanket by any means and somewhat wet and slushy but enough to make the journey into work stressful. Although not bad in the Valley, the road was bound to be nasty over the tops and then I know from experience that traffic is always terrible through Sheffield when we have even a dusting of snow.

I knew I COULD make it to work but I really didn't fancy the hassle of the trip and then the worry about whether it would be nasty going home again. Not to mention the fact that I'm trying to bank some flexi hours and a long journey would eat into these.

So, instead of slogging in, I took "them" (whoever they are) at their word and elected to work from home. Initially I was just going to work an hour or so first thing and then drive in later once it was light and the traffic had cleared a bit. But after an hour it just seemed silly to go in at all. I have everything I need here and this way could do a decent long day. My boss was fine about it (not my immediate line manager who is a bit tricky about the whole working from home issue but the team manager) so that is what I did.

And it's been lovely. I've got loads done, as well as some washing; I was in for the postwoman so don't now have to go and collect a parcel; and the dogs have had company all day. We went for a slushy, muddy walk at lunchtime and I took some photos as you can see.

So, if you wait long enough, you can find the silver lining in most things!!

Weigh-in tonight - wish me luck!

Social Dancing and plans not working out

2011-12-06T07:43:00.001Z

It was a weekend where things didn't really work out as planned. Not a bad weekend but not how I thought it would be.

Friday night was lovely - I was working from home so, at Rich's suggestion, stuck a sausage casserole in the oven when he got home from work and then headed off to the pub for a few early doors glasses of wine. Mmmmm. I do like that Friday evening drink in the local, just chatting away and planning things and then heading home to a lovely smelling kitchen, crazed hounds and a scrummy meal. So that was a better evening than I'd expected!!

Saturday was a lie-in as Rich usually works but had banked some extra hours to get a weekend off which was nice. But then we had to do chores and we intended to go for a nice walk. Well, after chores the weather intervened and spun from crisp sunshine to gloomy rain. We ended up tramping along in the cold, muddy rain which neither we nor the dogs particularly appreciated. After 40 minutes, we accepted defeat and headed back but that still meant a long cold walk back in wet gear with sulky pooches!

Then came the much heralded Social Dance. You know how things can just "go wrong". Well, it was one of those days. We didn't have the right sort of food in the fridge so ended up having a KFC (yes, I know!!) in town and then trekking over to the dance studio on the tram which involved my walking in my dance shoes. We got there on time but there weren't many people there so there was that horrid sensation of walking into an unfamiliar place where you know no-one and suspect that you're going to have a terrible evening. Sober. And it's brightly lit. Blegh.

But we soldiered on and it did improve. Luckily, on closer inspection, there was one other couple from our class there (although not the couples we had been meant to meet up with!!) so we had someone to go and sit with. We don't know them as such but they were friendly and at least we didn't feel like Billy-No-Mate Beginners among a sea of old-stagers.

Rich is less gung ho about things in general than me. Whereas I'm happy to leap in and see how it goes and don't mind making a chump of myself, he prefers to be confident that he is going to be able to do something BEFORE he starts! Neither of these approaches are wrong as such but they do clash. So, where I wanted to get straight onto the floor and have a go at a waltz, he flat-out refused until he'd had a drink and chilled and got the measure of it. We managed NOT to have a row about it but the atmosphere was a little touch and go for a while. But eventually we compromised. I bought a bottle of red to loosen us up and he got up and danced when the cha cha cha came on to get us going sooner than he felt comfortable with. (I felt that we had to get out there or we would be clinging to the edge of the dance floor like a couple of maiden aunts all night!)

There were a couple of sets of 3 or 4 tunes for each of the standard dances throughout the night and we managed 2 goes each of the samba, cha cha, rumba and tango. I was sad that Rich didn't feel brave enough to tackle the waltz and we gave up quicker than I would have liked on the jive but both of these are understandable as well as a little disappointing. Both of us were agreed that we weren't going to go near the quickstep or foxtrot....need a lot more time on those!!

The dancefloor was full for the waltz and, not only that, full of confident whirling couples! We haven't done it for a few weeks and I do appreciate that Rich was a bit nervous about steering us around...really. I was just sad 'cos it looked so lovely to be whirled around; dreamy and romantic. Next time. At least we tried a jive but the music was quite a bit quicker than in our class and we struggled to get going and I didn't push the point. Also, next time!

So, all in all, not an unmitigated disaster but not an unqualified sucess either. But at least I know there will be a next time. Both of us ended up enjoying the evening and it was inspiring to see the good dancers strutting their stuff. Trouble is, I suspect it will take a long time to get good (if we ever do) on one hour's tuition per week! We were talking to one other couple who were not particularly skilfull but admirably enthusiastic and they told us they've been coming for 4 years!! Yikes. But great to see the new steps we will eventually be learning. When you make such slow progress, it can get a bit boring so it's nice to know that there is still loads to be learned.

We finished off the evening in our football local which, conveniently, is next door to the studio watching a blues band. I was a tad overdressed in my LBD but it was a good band and a nice finish to the evening.

I was so chuffed when Rich checked out the date of the next dance in January....it hasn't put him off totally. I was also chuffed that we managed to steer through the unpromising start to the evening without blaming or arguing. In my previous existence, the evening would have turned into sulks and recriminations and probably a horrible row once we got home. What am I saying - I would never have got as far as the dance studio in my previous existence!! It makes me happy every time when we DON'T have a row in a situation which previously would have been "all my fault". Such a refreshing feeling.

I suppose anything new and totally out of ones' comfort zone is bound not to be perfect but at least we can learn from the experience to make next time better. Next time I'm going to suggest that we go for a light bite to eat in town, share a bottle of red for courage and then take a taxi straight there. And make sure that our pals actually turn up too!!

Sunday was meant to be golf with his brother but the weather fouled that up too. I wasn't sorry - getting cold, wet and muddy 2 days in a row is not my idea of fun. So, a quick road-based dog walk (sorry girls!) and then into town for a shop and to buy our Christmas tree!! Yay! Last year Rich resisted a tree and decorations so my efforts were a tad half-hearted but this year he seems happy to embrace the Full Monty. A nice looking 6-footer is propped up awaiting lights and decorations. We have to get them sorted before Friday when we have his brothers, sister-in -law and sister and my sister-in-law coming over for supper and drinks! I'm really looking forward to it.

We narrowly lost the pub quiz but won the beer round and all is back being right with the world. Well, apart from the first snow of the season and having to battle over the hill through unploughed, slushy/snowy roads to work this morning to be greeted by a bright, clear, sunny day! Rotherham exists in a different meteorological zone to the Peak District only 20 miles away, that is for sure. I'm sure my colleagues think I'm mad when they see me arrive bundled up in boots and coats, gloves etc

Positivity returns - feeling healthy roools!!

2011-12-02T11:55:00.001Z

I'm pleased to report that, after 2 days of feeling healthy (or at least on the mend), I'm still going strong. I managed to keep my food options healthy and restricted yesterday and the day before - no treats bar a glass of wine. Even on the golf course I had a banana rather than one of the Go Ahead bars which live in my bag!

I had plans yesterday to go swimming at lunchtime although I was kind of dreading the hassle of getting there and back. No - "courage, mon brave - you can do it" I said!! Trouble is, I also had a stack of lunchtime type chores which needed tackling. Now that I work from home more often, I have fewer town-based lunchtimes in which to accomplish these. As it happened, the phone and email went mad around lunchtime so I could not have gone swimming in any event...grrr, thwarted.

I'm feeling less overwhelmed than I did around the time of my "Grumpy" post but I remain to be convinced that this new office is a truly productive environment. I sniggered at Peridot's comment that her tea collection would not fit into a locker let alone the rest of her gear! Yes, exactly - everything has to be culled to the bare bones and then you find that you don't have what you want/need! I timed it this morning - from arrival to productive working takes around 15 minutes - there's the finding of a desk which is not too far from the rest of the team; the setting up of laptop; the adjustment of desk, chair and screen; the changing of shoes from trainers to office pumps; the trip to the locker for papers, pens, mug, etc; the first cup of tea of the day and, eventually, you can get cracking.

I'm working from home today and about to head off to personal training at lunchtime so at least today will be virtuous. Nothing planned during the daytime tomorrow bar chores so I will definitely aim to go for a run. As I write that, I'm mindful of the Yoda-inspired comments a few weeks ago that one should "do or not do - there is no try" (or something like that). But even a day in advance is quite early for me to commit to something!! Who knows what may crop up - the weather may change for the worse (looking likely); the chores may expand into trips to town or major endeavours; we may decide to go for a "proper" walk... I will say that, if the day is not horrendous and I can reasonably carve out the time, I will definitely go for a run!

Actually, the idea of going for a decent walk sounds good - we haven't done that for a while. It's been a case of one of us whipping them round the fields for their daily exercise when we can, or relying on the dog walker chappie. A family hike could be in order on the Saturday if possible as we're golfing (weather permitting) on Sunday.

So - things going well, the gains are slowly being reversed. I'm going to limit the booze this weekend (despite the upcoming Social Dance) and try to actually hold onto the losses of this week into next for Weigh-In on Tuesday! That has been the pattern recently: lose steadily Wednesday through to Sunday then see the weight (and more) come piling back on Monday/Tuesday. Grr. Not this week.

PS. Yes, I know I shouldn't weigh every day. I now. But I need to get back into the swing of things and this is the best way I know how!

Scary stuff

2011-12-02T10:18:00.003Z

I just tried to log in and received a message saying that my account had been disabled and blog suspended!! Yikes. You realise how vulnerable you are to hacking when you're trying to negotiate the maze of Google Help and FAQ's, none of which seem to fit the situation.

Anyway, in the end I managed to reset the password and it murmured something about "detected unusual activity"...no apologies.....aaaargh!

It makes me realise how much I like my blog...I'd be very sad indeed if I lost it. Perhaps I should have a back up. Does anyone have one? If so, what and how?

Phew!

Light at the end of the tunnel

2011-11-30T14:03:00.006Z

The dogs have had a much delayed haircut! As you can see from the above "before" pic, they were beginning to resemble yetis and I was spending several evenings per week hacking at matted bits which they detest!

Below is the "after" - so smooth and sleek. Minty's fur is not as thick as Shelagh's so the groomer managed to preserve her leg "feathers" but Shelagh had to be taken back to skinny prongs which is not flattering for her more matronly frame!! Still I think they both look gorgeous - biased much??!

They're not natural models though are they? The expressions give the impression that I'm about to set about them with some sort of drill....

It was my weigh in last night and things got worse with yet ANOTHER lb on but, just to make a change, I didn't feel too bad about it. I'm glad I went because it means I'm not hiding from reality . I had hoped to STS or even lose 0.5lb but it was not to be. Now I know where I am and can really get cracking (and mean it) on reversing the gains.

If I hadn't started this latest push with SW, I would have been 5 lbs heavier than I am now and would probably have put even more on. So, yes, I have wasted a lot of time and gained weight that I've already expended effort to lose, but, in the grand scheme of things, it's not the end of the world. I'm still going and will continue until this is beaten.

The main thing is that I can finally feel my health and strength beginning to return to me and with them comes the motivation to say no to fattening food and yes to exercise.

Last night was a case in point - Rich was out at a golf club committee meeting (lucky man!!) so I was vegging at home after supper (sensible stir fry). I had the now familiar urge to roam the kitchen looking for "stuff" but managed to limit my intake to a few raisins, a small glass of sherry (don't ask!!) and a few satsumas. All in all not bad. And saying no to your urges once makes it easier the next time which helped me restrict myself to a sensible lunch of omelette today too.

It's weird, you'd think I'd be depressed by a gain but in fact I'm chirpy and positive. I feel I have weathered the storm and made it through to other side and I'm still lighter than I was when I set off on my journey.

I played golf this morning - one advantage of a strike day I suppose and it was tiring but pleasant. I didn't score very well but played some good stuff so it was quite pleasing and my partner is always good company.

So, what's coming up on the Lesley'n'Rich social whirl?? Well, this weekend we're going to our first ever Social Dance at the dance studio!! I'm very excited. Rich less so - "oh, thought you might have forgotten about that...!!" Luckily 2 other couple we hang out with at class are also going and I don't think they've been to a Social either so that will help. If it's too scary we can always disappear to the pub next door which has a band on!! I can't wait to tango in earnest (is that possible) but hope we can do it without someone shouting instructions and counting us in!!

I've no idea how dancing will go when we've had a few drinks?? Could be helpful, could be disastrous. I hoped to have a go at something at the Golf Club dinner last weekend but it didn't really work out. Last year, the dancing had started with a formal dance straight after the speeches but this year they had to move some tables and this meant that when the dancing did start it was straight into disco and the kids. We danced a bit but not anything ballroom-y. It's lovely though, even a slow dance at the end of the night feels lovely - after over a year of dancing together we're so "in tune". Aaaah....

Grumpy.....

2011-11-28T10:37:00.003Z

A bit like Seren on WW Foodie was a week or so ago, I too am feeling grumpy this week (I just deleted the words "low level" - it's not low-level - it's full-on grumpy!). However for me, the cause is not November, or even Christmas being on its way. It's due to a combination of 2 things neither of which I seem to have much control over:

Firstly I'm STILL SICK!! This is really getting me down now. The horrible sore throat and cough which I developed on our return from holiday briefly cleared up before I started with a racking, violent cough which persisted for well over a fortnight. This improved but did not go away and has now morphed into a sneezy, runny head cold now with another cough thrown in for good measure. 3 separate illnesses with hardly any time off in between for good behaviour over the last 9 weeks. Grrrrr

I'm persisting with gentle exercise and trying to eat sensibly and healthily (lots of vitamin c) and not to drink too much but nothing seems to improve the situation. I'm tired of feeling poorly and not sleeping well. Boooo, whinge, groan, moan, grumble, carp, whine......I'm boring myself now.

The second factor is our new offices. We've moved from a frankly hideous 1970's monstrosity with a giant square open plan floor plan, murky olive carpets, mismatched furniture, opaque (and very few) windows and horrid strip lighting. It used to be a Grattan Fashion warehouse. Yes, it was terrible and needed changing but what we've moved to, while it's gleaming and shiny, makes life and work much much harder and is worse in so many ways.

We've moved to a brand new building in which the whole of the Council can be accommodated in one office (three 5 storey high "fingers") which should be better than being spread around town in a series of grim 1960's and 1970's concrete gulags. I suppose it may be one day. The offices are bright, clean, flooded with natural light and reasonably central to town. So, what are you whinging about woman??!

Well, in order to fit us all in, the decision was taken to drastically reduce the amount of space per person in the office to less than is actually required. In fact each team has been allocated 58% of the desk space it technically requires. So we have had to move towards "agile working". Ie. we do not have our own desk but share a number of "hot desks". We each have a locker and have to clear our desk each evening and find another one the next day. This involves unplugging everything, putting all pens, papers, mugs etc etc away which takes a surprising amount of time and culling all team facilities - pens, paper, staplers, hole-punches - all the usual officey things. Obviously holidays and meetings will only take us so far so we also have to work from home for a certain number of days each week or there would simply not be enough space for us all.

As you can see from the pic, the desks themselves are arranged in cramped pods with low level dividers and stretch across the open floorplan unhindered by walls or dividers. It is a call centre in other words, just one without the telephones and headsets. And few indian, geordie or glaswegian accents.

Our filing space is drastically reduced as well which doesn't affect most of my colleagues but is a pain for me being a solicitor who is required to keep adequate files. And don't get me started on deeds storage or IT storage allocations!!

The IT necessary to make up for the deficiencies of this new environment has NOT followed (presumably due to cost-cutting measures) and the overall effect is one of extra effort each day for less return in terms of work output. This adds stress and irritation.

The new office doesn't have any car parking so we all have to walk much further and also, because we're working from home much more, have to lug laptops and files home with us. I have already spoken about the extra effort involved in getting to the gym.

It's rubbish I tells ya!! Rubbish. No pictures on the walls, no plants, no team atmosphere, no character.

The one good thing is that now I care a whole lot less about my work and can work from home 2 days per week thus saving me petrol and dog walking fees and giving me extra time at home with Richard and the dogs.

Thanks for listening while I moan. I'm trying to stay positive at work so this has been invaluable. I just look across this soulless barn and want to scream.

I'm sure I'll get used to it one day and maybe, if I don't, I'll find something else to do when times pick up but, in the meantime, I'm stuck here, and will start to make the best of it once I start to feel better. Until then.....groan, moan, grumble, mumble, whinge, whine.......

Normal Pollyanna service will be resumed in due course.

How many times??

2011-11-23T15:08:00.006Z

The pictures are just a couple of snippets from everyday life round here. The flowers were a lovely surprise from Rich for my birthday. We had agreed no pressies as we're pooling resources to go on a long weekend to Rome after Christmas so purty fleurs were a bonus. The first ones he's bought for me too!!

The cake is our christmas cake (well, durrr..) which I am now feeding with brandy and will be icing soon. It's looking yum. I'm wondering whether I have the energy to make another one for Mum and Dad.

I should also have taken some snaps of the gorgeous sloe gin presently doing its wonderful stuff in the kitchen cupboard. I will remember next time I give the bottles a shake.....I made it a bit late for Christmas this year but the berries were bursting with juice and beautifully frosted so I'm sure it'll be a good batch. Can't wait.

Well, that's the Domestic Goddess stuff out of the way - back to 'fessing up re your "diet" Lesley!!!

I was right - I had put on weight over the 2 weeks since my last WI. I knew that first week had been bad but I'm pretty certain the second one wasn't too bad, I just stopped the rot so to speak. But overall I gained 4lbs!! Aaaargh! How does it go on so quick?? Especially as I had been even lower than my last SW weight midweek so the gain was actually even bigger.

Doesn't bear thinking about. So I won't.

I am back being mindful of what I eat and resisting the worst excesses. Back doing regular exercise and cutting back on the demon booze. The scales are assisting my endeavours by grudgingly heading back in the right direction. There are few positives from a nasty cold/cough which caused me to forget what had been a reasonably sucessful diet and pile on 4 hard-lost lbs but let's have a try at finding them eh??

I'm back on track and I did not actually fall off the wagon.

If I hadn't started the diet and lost some weight, I would be even heavier now - I'm still half a stone or so lighter than I was when I started and who knows how much I could have added to THAT total?!

It's not the end of the world and will give me motivation next time I feel grotty not to let it all hang out....I will try and remember this sickness ambush and guard against it.

In other news, we're off to Meadowhall tonight to try and find something nice to wear for the Golf Club dinner on Saturday night! I had hoped to be able to fit into some party gear from a year or so ago but I'm prob at least half a stone off that.....grrr. Hey ho - I like having some new gear every year and we might be able to do some dancing this year - they might play a waltz or even a tango and there's always the cha cha or a jive. I'm not really looking forward to Meadowhell at this time of year....especially not with yet another cold brewing - this one a runny headcold, just to ring the changes...

Big Birthday Weekend and crawling back again

2011-11-21T09:43:00.007Z

My Birthday Trip to Tranmere! It was more fun than it sounds, honest! This is my pal Kerry slightly shocked to find herself with a pint of bitter in her hand at 9am as we ordered our full English breakfast in the pub while waiting for the coach to arrive. Tee hee...
Usually we would go to a village pub somewhere on the way to wherever the match is. It was different on Saturday as the coach broke down on the M62! That could really have put a damper on the proceedings but, luckily, my mate Jim knew the area well and knew there was a pub only a mile or so off the motorway with a coach-friendly carpark. The coach was able to limp back to the pub and we enjoyed our pre-match beers there instead.
It was not the sort of pub we'd usually go to - it was a v. smart gastro-inn (The Turnpike Inn near Ripponden if you know the area) all set up for a wedding later that day! Luckily they were happy to serve us and we enjoyed the sunshine out on the terrace looking over the reservoir and the M62 across the moors.
Eventually the replacement coach arrived (in the background there) and the boozy, football-beshirted hoards could depart and race over to Birkenhead! I think the pub was relieved that we wouldn't be getting in the way of their swanky wedding crowd who were not due to arrive for another hour or so but they were also happy to have sold out a barrel of beer (it was called Dam Fine Ale - what a great name for a beer!) as a Brucie Bonus on a Saturday lunchtime.
Our friend and my quiz team colleague, Richard (left) and Rich's Dad, Gordon (on the right).
Team photo:
It was very sweet - the landlord of the pub had told the rest of the coach that it was my birthday so they made a big fuss of me and even arranged a brownie complete with icecream and candles and sang a rousing chorus of Happy Birthday!! Not what you expect at 42....but very nice.

So that was Saturday - we were only a few minutes late for the game and Sheffield Wednesday duly obliged by winning 2-1. It's very tight at the top of League One this year so we have to keep winning just to stay in 3rd place. Annoyingly all the teams around us also won so we didn't climb. Better than nothing though.

Sunday was another good day. My brother and his wife drove over from Lincolnshire and we went out for a pub lunch. Then, while having coffees and desserts at home, Rich's mum and auntie popped round for a chat so now 2 strands of our families have met which is nice!

Diet wise it's been pretty disastrous. After holding on for one week, the second week of being ill cost me big and I reckon I've gained several lbs (missed WI so not sure how bad it is). However, I'm better now and got back to my exercise routine last week with swimming x2, running and training and being better with food (which, as you can tell, all went out of the window over the weekend!!).

I've changed my training day to Mondays now when I'm working from home so that'll free up Thursday for another session.

We've moved offices now so I'm 15 minutes further away from the gym. This could have been a disaster but, in an uncharacteristic move for me, I planned ahead! I bought a secondhand folding bike which I can leave at the office and use to cycle to the leisure centre in about the same time that it used to take me to walk. It works fine so I have no excuse for not going swimming! Not bad eh? Usually I would have done nothing until after the move, whinged for a few weeks, got totally out of the habit of exercise and fallen off the wagon and eventually had to make a colossal effort to get back to it....perhaps I really am changing??

Flagging

2011-11-10T19:09:00.003Z

This cough is really persisting and I seem to have lost the will to diet!

After a very promising beginning and middle of last week I only maanaged to drop half a lb which is fine but uninspiring. I'm not surprised though as I've been too poorly to exercise and have been "treating myself".

What a bore.

This week is likely to be even worse unless I pull up my socks. Which is doubtful.

I'm not often as despondent and uncaring about success as this. I think having a painful wracking (racking??) cough which keeps me (and Richard) awake most nights for over a week now has taken its toll.

Grrr.

So - I'm not going to be hard on myself. Just going to keep trying and if I don't get anywhere this week, well, what harm? I can turn it round later. I think damage limitation has got to be the name of the game for the next few days though...

Sorry to be gloomy peeps. I'll try and cheer up soon. The cabin fever from staying in isn't helping. And nor is the fact that we're moving offices tomorrow so we've been chucking stuff and packing as well as trying to do our work for the last fortnight.

Blegh

So - what's been GOOD about this week??

Well, dancing was good on Monday night (apart from the last 5 minutes when we couldn't do the jive). Lots of cha cha and we just about got the hang of the tango.

Managed to finish my packing on schedule on Tuesday despite feeling like death warmed up so at least I know that my files will fit on my allocated shelving in the new office!

Worked from home on Wednesday and had a lovely evening in with my boy - a bottle of wine, roast pork and apple crumble (see what I mean about the treats??) and lots of cuddles to cheer me up.

Had a course in Manchester today and I actually made it to the seminar!! I so nearly didn't get on the train and just went home to bed but I didn't. I persevered and learned something (admittedly on the very boring topic of the new planning legislation and the Localism Bill....snoooze....). Worked from home in the afternoon and had our chimneys swept so we can now have fires in both kitchen and dining room. Yay!! Not only that but I got some very tough work jobs out of the way.

So you see, although it's been a tough week, there has been something good about every single day so far. I don;t have good feelings about tomorrow being our actual moving date (and 2 big meetings too...not helpful). But who knows? Something might turn up.

A better week next week....

The weekend

2011-11-07T22:28:00.002Z

I'm battling my second lurgy of the season ALREADY! That can't be right. Usually I only have 2 colds each winter and it's only the first week in November. This one is not as bad as the first - I feel mostly fine but have an infrequent but violent cough which really knocks me out. It also makes sleeping tricky as it's worse when I'm lying down. 6 days and counting tho...grrr...

Still, I have not let it drag me down and it has only slowed me a little bit. I took Friday off as felt very weak but ended up having a busier day than usual. I was pottering round getting the house sorted for my weekend visitor (Natalie from London), shopping, picking up the TV from the mender etc etc when I got a call from Rich - "Are you alright to pick me up from the Hallamshire?". The Hallamshire is one of the Sheffield hospitals and the nearest A&E's to us! Hmmm... "Why?" "I've drilled my finger". Apparently his drillbit broke and jumped into his finger - he was lucky as it didn't go through nail or bone and came out cleanly leaving no metal shavings. He said it didn't even hurt until the nurse started prodding at it!! So that used up half my day and left Rich with a big fat white bandaged up finger for the weekend (it wouldn't stop bleeding!) which fascinated the dogs. I think they thought it was some new form of tasty sausage as they kept on pouncing on it! Anyway, he had it re-dressed yesterday and all is well - phew!

I do like having visitors - it is nice to to have a shiny, spotless house with flowers on every surface and a fridge full of goodies. I know my house is not normally a pit or anything but you make that little bit of extra effort for friends.

Because I wasn't on top form healthwise we didn't go for the most strenuous of walks but we did have a lovely 2-3 hour tramp round the reservoir on Saturday and a nice hour out on Sunday in the glorious autumnal sunshine. The colours were spectacular and the dogs were in seventh heaven. We took in a bonfire, a meal at home (a non-SW-compliant sausage casserole with gorgeous Borworst sausages from our local butcher) and a few glasses of wine with friends on Saturday and another meal out on Sunday combined with the local Farmers' Market. You can't beat it.

Nat is such a good friend too - so caring and upbeat. She's facing a bit of an uncertain work future at the moment (the markets and all that) but doing it with such grace and calm - I really hope the worst does NOT come to pass for her. It's so nice to see Rich effortlessly fitting in with my good friends too - he doesn't try to dominate or impose his wishes on the proceedings, just lets us enjoy ourselves and as a result everyone relaxes and has a good time.

Foodwise I didn't go mad but treats WERE taken. We were ravenous after our walk on Saturday so stopped into the little cafe which has just opened in my village - cappucino and tiffin....mmmmmm.....tiffin.....drooool..... Red wine on Saturday evening...quite a lot of it! Sunday lunch was not too bad and I did not partake of the apple and blackberry crumble (go me!). But I did weaken in the face of my Farmers' Market goodies and have a couple of pieces of Tablet (well, she halved the price - it would have been rude not to....). The single slice of delicious New York style cheesecake is still in the fridge though and will be shared this evening after dancing (mmmmm....cheeeeeesecake.....)

One of the stalls at the Farmers' Market was honey based but the chap had such a good sales patter and was so engaging that we ended up buying loads of stuff. I didn't know how versatile honey could be! A jar of honey, natch; a tasty tomato, garlic and honey ketchup; pickled onions with honey and balsamic (for Rich as I can't STAND pickled onions!!); and finally mustard with honey.....hmmm, reaching the limit here. Rich and I weren't too bad though - Nat bought a couple of mini hampers for presents as well!

Nat left on Sunday afternoon for the long drive south - belly full, sleep caught up on ("It's so quiet here!") and hopefully lungs and limbs refreshed by the good country air.

I rounded off the weekend by standing in as captain for the pub quiz league match. As I mentioned before, our usual captain Dave (formerly known as "Quiz Dave" but now possibly "Dave the Bus") was knocked over by a bus and is still in hospital. Thankfully it looks as though his injuries are not as bad as first thought so he may be out by next weekend but I had to stand in for him in last night's Cup match. It was another resounding victory! We're getting quite good at this - 45-63 is a decent margin, especially without Dave who knows a hell of a lot of stuff! My captaining skills only let me down once - I picked one wrong answer when the correct one had also been suggested...but apart from that the team was firing on all cylinders....aaaah - all in all, a very satisfying weekend.

"I can't" (yes you can Orville!)

2011-11-03T19:36:00.003Z

As I get older I come to hate those 2 words more and more. They just seem to represent such a defeatist attitude. I know they must be justified sometimes, after all there are things one just cannot achieve but often they are a self-fulfilling prophecy.

2 recent examples of this spring to mind:

In SW class on Tuesday night, one of the women had had a gain. She has never been a particularly perky or positive member and has obviously been having trouble dropping weight for ages but this week her negative attitude really struck me. Phrases like "I just can't" or "that wouldn't work" tripped off her tongue without her really thinking about what was being suggested. Beth, the Leader was really trying to get to the root of the problem with her as to why she is slowly but steadily gaining weight (half a stone since summer apparently). She said that her meals were all SW compliant but that it was what she ate between meals at work which was the problem. I think she works in the Health Service and apparently any chocs and biscuit gifts are left in her office and she can't (there's that word again...) resist them.

Beth asked for suggestions. They came pouring in as we all tried to come up with helpful solutions for her: put a brightly coloured sticker on the box or table to make you pause before you indulge; set mini-targets of half a day for resisting and build on each small sucess; tell people that you're not having anything in the hope of shaming yourself (your chimp!) into resisting; suggest pooling all the gifts and distributing them by raffle or rota once a certain number has built up so they are not opened at work (seemed like a good one to me); put them away, out of sight; etc etc etc. We spent quite a while on this topic and I thought that, out of these suggestions, one at least would work. But then I looked over at her and realised that any suggestion other than a magic wand to instantly make her thin would have been too much effort for her. She seemed to ENJOY her failure to lose weight and her face was totally closed off to the possibility of doing something about it. It's a shame as she seems like a nice woman and she has a very funny turn of phrase.

But, in the face of such resolute negativity, what can you do?? Who knows, maybe she'll surprise me next week and report taking action. I hope so and I'd be happy to eat my words (calorie-free as they are). I doubt it though.

The other example was less dramatic. I played golf yesterday with a very nice, very posh older lady. In most respects she was pretty positive. She was out playing despite struggling with the after-effects of a broken wrist. Her game had suffered but she still enjoyed the sport despite not being able to hit the ball as far now. But yesterday her putting and short game were terrible! It was costing her shot after shot. But instead of slowing down and focussing on trying to change it, she got more lacksadaisical and casual, just walking up to each shot and bashing away without thought or care. She kept on saying "that's it, I just can't putt today". "My putting is rubbish today, I just can't do it!". She effectively talked herself into playing badly. I'm sure that what she SAID made the difference between a mediocre round and a terrible round. If she had said - "right, I really need to focus here, I can do better than this" or "I'm going to have a better back nine" or "I'm not going to 4 putt again" or something, I'm sure she would have improved.

So - I'm going to watch what I say and make sure that the dreaded negativity and tentativeness do not creep in. Beth agrees with me: she pulled a few people up for saying that they were going to "try"....and asked why they don't just "do it" instead??! A good point.....

Beep beep beep beep

2011-11-02T07:48:00.002Z

That's me reversing in case you didn't get it.....

I'm slowly reversing the weight gains I've had over the last few weeks and reinstating the good habits I had been working on. I dropped 1.5lbs at last night's weigh-in and stayed to class. It's no biggie and that is a good thing. With that Daily Mail article in mind, I made sure to prepare a bread-free salad lunch yesterday day AND to make sure that I didn't get sidetracked by work and miss swimming. And I'm very pleased I went.

As I walked to the pool I reflected how long it has been since I last went and was amazed again how quickly the weeks can speed by. When I first dived in, the water felt fantastic - cool and silky and incredibly refreshing. "This is going to fly by" I thought. Wrongly as it turned out! After 20 or so lengths my chimp was really playing up. "This is tooooo hard" she whined. "We haven't been for sooo long, let's stop after our agreed minimum of 40 lengths..."

All through the 20's and 30's I wrestled with her. Thing is, I was loathe to revert to my minimum of 40 as it has been months since I've swum fewer than 50 lengths and to go backwards would feel like a retrograde step. At around 36 or 37 I'd had enough. "That's it! We're going to 50 and that is all there is to it!". I was firm and reassured her that the extra few minutes it would take would not hurt us and that the pool was emptying so the swimming was getting easier anyway. And strangely, she accepted it. My chimp just shut up and let me enjoy my last few lengths.

So much so, that when I hit 50 I was enjoying the peace and quiet and space to daydream so much that I carried on for another 6. It would have been more but the whistle went for the end of the lunchtime session! So - it just goes to show - I am occasionally in charge of my chimp.

Despite feeling positive, I'm not going to expect too much of myself in terms of weightloss over the next couple of months before Christmas. I'd like to lose half a stone and that is do-able but, in the scheme of things, as long as I'm still moving forward and more or less sticking to a plan, what does it matter whether I've hit a certain arbitrary weight by a certain arbitrary time?? One of the reasons for my low expectations is the recognition that we have a LOT coming up over the next few weeks. We have something planned for every weekend between now and the beginning of December having already been busy for the last few weekends. I've no idea why but it's always like this in the run up to Christmas.

Given all that socialising, meals out, away games etc, I'm not expecting rapid weightloss. As long as I can lose a little from time to time and not pile weight ON in the hectic weeks then that will be a bonus.

And, as I've mentioned before, being happy and enjoying life is far more important. I really am so happy with Rich at the moment I worry that I'm getting boring about it. I enjoy his company when we're doing things or when we're just watching the telly, enjoy his texts through the day, his thoughtful little questions, his remembering the little things about my day. And we have such a laugh together. I feel so lucky that I've found someone who is such a good "fit" with me, especially at this stage in my life. Every time I see him fussing the dogs; worrying about whether he'll have his lucky Wednesday shirt to wear for the big match (don't ask); loading the golf clubs into the boot; hunting round the house for sweets; or just looking down at me with mild fear and confusion etched on his face as we're about to set off into a tango or waltz, I feel happy and lucky at the same time. And my heart feels too small to hold it all sometimes.

So, that's good.

The Daily Mail - it MIGHT be right...

2011-11-01T20:16:00.005Z

A lovely sunny evening walk up Bradwell Edge.

As you know, I've just about been keeping in touch with my diet recently although going through a shaky phase. And Peridot is also dissatisfied with SW and wondering whether to jump ships in search of a better fit so the subject of what diet works for what person has been on my mind. So, when I noticed an article on this subject in the Mail Online (my secret vice....I only read it for the celebrity gossip, honest....) I had a look. And surprisingly the article struck a chord with me. This is either because it is sooooo obvious that it doesn't impart any new information or because it could have a point!

The article is in Femail and is called "Wise up to lose weight". The premise is that peoples' brains work differently (well, durr) and therefore they will have more or less sucess with different diets according to their "brain types". So far, so DM.

We are then divided up into 4 types - Compulsive, Impulsive, Emotional and Anxious. The handy mini questionnaire aided diagnoses (which was useful 'cos I would have put myself in Emotional from the blurb but I actually fell squarely into Impulsive). We were then diagnosed and different types of diets recommended for each brain type.

"Whaaat a Looad of Rubbish" I'm singing to myself as I read the article. (I don't usually give much credence to these sort of girly things...)

But then, as I read it, it seemed to make a lot of sense. I AM impulsive. I do fine when I'm sticking to the rules and I never PLAN to deviate but I just sort of do it! When I don't exercise, my diet also struggles. Booze affects the sucess of my diet. I know these are obvious in one way - but lots of dieting wisdom does NOT affect me. So it's a case of picking out the stuff that is relevant.

I am therefore recommended to follow a generally high protein, low-carb diet. Avoid/cut down on alcohol and sugar. And prioritise exercise.

When I am doing well, this is what works for me - ping - hello lightbulb!

I thought - "well, maybe this article is a load of guff and all the advice would apply equally". But, having read the advice relating to the other brain types, I realise that it would not be for me. For example a high-carb (Low-GI), gentle exercise (like yoga), grazing type regime....have tried that and it was useless.

This knowledge doesn't really change things much for me. I'm still going to carry on with SW because I can incorporate that sort of thinking into SW. And, to be honest, I don't follow the SW plan slavishly anyway; it's more about the accountability and turning up for class!! But I WILL re-emphasize high-protein, low carb food within SW and make an effort to keep up with the exercise. (That is one element which always mystifies me about SW - their lack of emphasis on exercise which is so very helpful for me.) I will also work on cutting right back on boozing opportunities given my lack of impulse control as this makes it even harder to keep to a diet.

So - it just goes to show - I thought I was flicking through the Mail Online for the stories about which Z list celeb now looks good/bad/scarily thin/curvilicious in a bikini but really I was learning....so there!!

(In my defence, I have answered many quiz questions on the back on my Mail Online habit....I was the only person in either team last Sunday who knew who Mrs Jamie Hince is. There are not many celeb/footballer marriages which escape my notice and don't get me started on Hollywood divorces or jailbirds....! I even know stuff about TOWIE, GS, the horrible Kardashians and MIC despite never having watched a minute of any of those execrable shows. Actually - that is not much of a defence is it?? In my defence, I do read lots of "good books" too!)

Another run?!

2011-10-30T17:44:00.004Z

Yes I know, hard to believe that I might make it out twice in one weekend but 'tis true! We got back from my sister's this afternooon and I spent a very frustrating hour on the phone and facebook trying to sort out a quiz team, unsucessfully as it happens. Eventually I realised that, with the hour having gone back, I needed to take the dogs out before it got dark. I suggested a walk to Rich but he was tired from his drive and chilly and didn't fancy it. So HIS laziness prompted ME into going for a run instead!!

So, out we (me and the dogs) went: the light was fading and it was cold but we managed a good 40 minutes round the fields and golf course and it was good....well, sort of. My stomach felt like a lead weight from the beans on toast not long before but I just about managed it!!

We had a nice weekend down south at my sister's. We went out for a lovely meal on the Friday night - moules mariniere followed by belly pork washed down by red wine (hmmmm not sure how SW would calculate THAT!) Then over to Wycombe for the football on Saturday which was a laugh. A nervy 2-1 win to the mighty Owls and another 3 points in the bag keeping us third in the table. Then back to my sister's for a lovely home cooked meal and relaxed chat with my sister, her third daughter and her husband. Yay!!

So, back to this afternoon and the frustrating non-quiz. I got various messages this morning that our team captain had been knocked down by a bus and airlifted to hospital. He's alright, if you count 10 broken ribs and a busted pelvis and shoulder blade as "alright", which I don't! Poor bloke. I tried and tried but couldn't get a confirmed team so reluctantly rang the other team to cancel at 5.30pm....just 5 minutes before a couple I'd been leaving messages for all day rang and said they could make it!! By then it was too late to un-cancel as the other captain's phone was engaged obviously ringing round his team to cancel. Aaargh!! How annoying. If I'd just waited 'til 6pm all would have been well.

Ach - a nice quiet night in instead. And no temptation in the form of beer and sandwiches to derail me so, looking on the bright side, not too bad!

Get in!!

2011-10-28T11:46:00.002+01:00

I really do NOT want to be going for a run right now. I'm hungry (stomach rumbling hungry) and there is freshly made leek and potato soup on the hob.

But I'm dressed in my winter running gear and I'm going anyway. Now THAT'S motivation.

At least it's sunny!!

Plans...

2011-10-27T19:02:00.003+01:00

I've been planning my birthday celebrations for November (when I'll be turning 42...yikes!). Nothing major given that it's not a Big Birthday but I still like to have something arranged.

I was torn between football and a more "romantic" type celebration. Last year we went to Bakewell and had a night in a nice hotel and smart meal out followed by a trip to Milton Keynes for the footie! This year I think I've found a similar compromise although only after a bit of bargaining and putting my foot down.

Our Sheffield 'local' is putting on a coach trip actually on my birthday to the away game against Tranmere (not the most glamourous or romantic of locations I'm sure you'll agree). I sort of want to go but don't want to miss out on a nice night out either. Torn. Then, in the background, hovers my desire to go to a Social Dance at the dance studio where we take lessons. They hold these dances every month and I, along with the female halves of our dancey pals, have been pressing to go for ages now. Rich (along with the other blokes) has developed cold feet about dancing "for real" and in front of people who are better than us!!

So, I thought that my birthday would be a good opportunity to insist.

But then I also fancied the Tranmere game and knew that Rich did too. Dilemma!!

I got a bit sulky after dancing on Monday night by Rich's lack of desire to go to a social dance and felt a bit "taken for granted". The drive home was, erm, frosty, shall we say. He was obviously mulling this over, and eventually came out with the compromise. We could go to the NEXT social dance at the beginning of December AND the Tranmere game on my birthday. Good. I can live with that and now have something nice to look forward to at the beginning of December. Dressing up and dancing "for real". It made me happy too that I didn't have to press the point, just made it clear that I thought it wasn't fair, didn't nag or whinge, and he came round. Choosing to do something he isn't keen on to make me happy and because I want to do it. That's nice

Turning the tide

2011-10-26T19:31:00.003+01:00

I went to my weigh-in last night and stayed for the class too. I don't know why but it DOES help. I have been much more motivated today.

Oh, forgot to report the WI result - 1 lb ON! Sigh....

But anyway, back to feeling more motivated. Healthy breakfast - figs with yoghurt; sandwich for lunch; round of golf; fish pie (SW recipe). A stellar day all round.

So, on that note, lets hope that one day of motivation leads to many more.....

It's a good thing I am feeling more positive though 'cos I was a tad niggled yesterday in class. Dispirited by going backwards....I had lost 12 lbs and now, after 5 weeks of faffing around, have gained back 3 of those. Grrr There is a woman in the class who joined the week before me and she has now lost 1 stone 5 lbs. If I hadn't stagnated I could have been around that mark. Grumble grumble grumble.

I know it's all down to me and I have chosen to go slow and have fun too but I must admit to being grumpy last night.

Today though - motivated. Phew!

Weekend Update - better late than never...

2011-10-25T22:05:00.004+01:00

It's been a really busy weekend but a really good one too. (Do I EVER post a blog saying....did nothing and had a rubbish time???)

We both had Friday off to play golf. It was the final Society day of the season held, coincidentally, at my Golf Club. There was also a meal and prize-giving afterwards with wives and girlfriends turning up so all in all very pleasant. I played alright but didn't trouble the leaders but Rich was in contention for the main prize for the best 3 scores over the course of the summer. In order to win overall, he had to win on Friday. If he came anywhere other than first on Friday, his friend Darren would win the big prize. Talk about pressure!

Anyway, we played together and he had a really steady round. His score was good not brilliant but he was the leader in the clubhouse when we got in. But we were only the second team out so he had a very nerve-wracking hour while he waited for everyone else to come in to see whether he was the winner. It was quite amusing for me to watch - there he was trying to be casual and pretend he didn't care! Ha! Anyway, his wait was worth it as he won on the day AND the season competition as well and picked up a very pleasing £125 worth of golf vouchers! Not bad for a game of golf eh?!

The meal was, as ever at my club, gorgeous and I was not in any way restrained - lots of red wine, roast pork and the most delicious sticky toffee pudding I've had for YEARS!! Aaaargh. I'm sure I said something recently about not having any temptation planned for this week - how did I forget that?! Although in my defence, I didn't have any lunch and played golf all afternoon so I was starving....yeah, no, I know that doesn't wash....

So that was Friday. Saturday was a lovely relaxing day at the football. I can't believe this season so far....Sheffield Wednesday are flying high - third in the table, 2 points off the top, unbeaten in 6 games and 7 wins out of 7 at home. It is truly amazing! After the rubbish we had to put up with over the last many seasons, this feels brilliant. Our neighbours across the city (Sheffield United) are 4 points behind us in 5th and their fans are angry with how BADLY they're doing!! It's a matter of perspective - they think they should be cruising through this division having been relegated last year whereas we're just appreciative of every good result. I can't remember looking forward to going to a match as much or feeling so relaxed while at the game....it's bizarre!

More beer was taken before the game but I stuck to halves so damage limited.

Sunday was hectic! Up early for a round of golf with Nigel. We were on the course by 8.30am and finished by 11ish. Then home to walk the dogs, shower, change and head out to meet up with some old school pals. Me, Jenny, Kirsten and Stephanie have been good friends for over 30 years now, since that first term at school so it's great to all get together once in a while. I didn't think it would be so soon since the last visit as Kirsten moved to Australia in April. She's back for a flying visit to help her mum and dad with a health issue (she is BRILLIANT at negotiating her way round consultants and the NHS) so we all managed to carve out a few hours for Sunday lunch with 3 kids in tow. It was lovely but did involve eating, again. I didn't go mad but you know that a pub roast is not perfect dieting fayre.

Then back home for coffee and chat. As soon as they were gone it was off to Rich's mum's for an hour or so as it was her birthday and then back for supper before dashing straight off to the pub quiz!! I was knackered....

I'm loving the pub quiz this year too. Like Sheffield Wednesday, the Anglers Rest is enjoying a very good start to the season. We've lost one (narrowly) and even more narrowly won 2 against good opposition. Sunday night's match was really tight, high-scoring and we were kept on our toes the whole way through. We won it on the last question AND we won the beer round too. Cracking!

So - dieting extremely indifferent but that IS going to change. Life is good though.

I spoke a bit too soon......just heard that Wednesday have lost away at Carlisle this evening.....rats......

Dedication

2011-10-19T19:21:00.006+01:00

The glorious castle of Warkworth. We went for a walk along the beach and round the town first though....

More stick action....

and some swimming...

Another week has slipped by without me achieving much in the weightloss sense. We had a lot of fun and I didn't go mad. I had a STS last night at weigh-in so not too bad. But that is now a month gone by with no loss to show for it. I don't mind the fortnight around holiday and being ill but the fortnight afterwards when I was fine and healthy - well, I could have done a little better, methinks.

(I actually just typed "I SHOULD have done better" but changed that to "could". I am not going back to the days when I judged myself by my weight and everything was "should" "ought" "good" "bad". Weight and weightloss is NOT a moral judgement of worth Lesley - got it!!)

However, I feel as though the fog is clearing a bit and I'm going to make a proper effort to reinstate my positive routines this week. I had a good day Monday with Pump class, dancing and decent food and drink. One unhelpful element which has crept back into my routine is too much drink. I don't have any "drinky" social occasions planned this week so I'm going to try and have a pretty dry week; limit the wine at home and eliminate the casual pint of bitter. I need to go back to saving drinking for when I'm going out or have something special planned (or REALLY fancy a glass of wine!!).

What was very helpful this morning was receiving the second "Letter to Myself" which I typed back in August when i started my diet. Here it is:

So, how're you doing now that the weather is drawing in? I hope you're still sticking to the diet but if you're not, it's never too late to start again. there is no shame in it. I just wanted to remind you how positive you felt back in August when you'd only lost 5 lbs but were really enjoying life. Starting the diet was YOUR choice and it's something you WANT to do, no-one else. So make the effort to stick to it because you'll be taking the credit and reaping the rewards.

The food side is not hard. Take it steady and relax when you need to but really, the diet food is so tasty once you make the effort to prepare it that there is no hardship!

And the exercise. Are you still going to Pump? Have you been to Zumba? I hope so 'cos you were really enjoying the Pump back in August and the swimming and running and training and golf. Don't let it all go down the Swanee; this is your chance for a different end to the year. You're doing this because you care about yourself and you want others to value you too. And because you want to be sexy for Richard too.....

Think about those Christmas parties...think about being able to wear your nice going out clothes and not having to buy new stuff!! And dancing. You can still lose half a stone before Christmas if you put your mind to it so get on with it!!

Good luck honey.

Lesley xx

I must say, corny as it may be, it really helped me to re-focus on reading it this this morning. I like the fact that I'm not giving myself a hard time if I haven't stuck to the diet but am emphasizing the positive and reminding myself how much I enjoyed it back then.

I also notice some telling words in the second paragraph "once you make the effort to prepare it"!! I have got a bit lazy about what food I prepare, partly because we've been very busy so shopping has been more erratic and less planned and then you just have to make the best of what you have in. Partly because we've been eating out more too. So, I will start on lists to ensure that I have nice food in and get back to cooking the tasty diet-friendly food that I did so weel on back in August and September.

I also like the fact that I haven't given up on the exercise. It slipped a little in intensity but I have still made it to Pump nearly every week and been running and swimming.

So, in summary, I haven't fallen off the wagon, just stopped in a layby for a few weeks. Now I'm ready to gee up the horses and get back onto the Weightloss Highway. (Sorry peeps, I'm truly terrible at analogies/metaphors/similes.....)

Fun fun fun

2011-10-17T22:04:00.004+01:00

It's been a busy and very entertaining weekend. Not, I admit right now, a dieting weekend.

I finished early on Friday afternoon and we headed over to the flatlands of Lincolnshire to stay with my Ma and Pa. What a beautiful afternoon and evening it was. It's always great to see them both and Dad was on good form (despite the perennial complaints that we're not staying for longer....I presume everyone gets those off their parents?!). We joined my father at his local pub for his favourite Friday evening session. His pal Robin was out and his daughter (who I have known for years on and off) joined us all later with her husband so we were a chatty bunch. Quite international too - Robin lives part of the year near his son in Valencia, Spain. Another woman who joined us is Dutch and Robin's daughter's husband is currently working out in the Falklands. There was much discussion of Christmas traditions which was fascinating but did rather put the focus on what WE'RE going to be doing at Christmas, which is currently undecided!!

Saturday was a much needed lie-in, a viewing of my brother's new pad a couple of miles from home (they're away but dad showed us around, proud as a mother hen of the place!). I must say, it's very big and swanky - I had a nasty case of property envy. There just seems to be more space in Lincolnshire for nice big houses and gardens. Then a decent pub lunch followed by a good long walk in the sunshine. It's so strange to find yourself wearing cropped trousers and a t-shirt in mid-October. We walked and walked and eventually tired the dogs out. Lovely.

So all that rest and relaxation set us up nicely for a day of debauchery and football yesterday!

In readiness for the big Steel City Derby between my team, Sheffield Wednesday and Sheffield United, we were in our football local before 9 for beer and a cooked breakfast. NOT on the SW list of advisable activities I'm afraid. A few hours of "preparing ourselves" for the game (AKA, drinking and singing Wednesday songs) before a fleet of minibuses took us across the city to our local's rival's shed, otherwise known as Bramall Lane!! The game itself was a really good Derby clash - frenetic, passionate, a packed stadium, good atmosphere and players giving their all. These occasions sometimes fall flat but yesterday's was a great game.

We were, of course, gutted to find our team 2-nil down after 20 minutes and, although they kept on trying and had some great efforts, that's how it stayed until 8 minutes before fulltime. Then we scored!! We didn't celebrate much - it was too tense but our mood lifted and the mood of the home fans dropped through the floor! Then 4 minutes later, after a scramble in the goal mouth, we scored again!!! What a comeback. THEN we went mental. We were jumping about, shouting screaming, singing, hugging, kissing (anyone). My voice totally disappeared for an hour or so. It felt like the greatest victory ever even though we had only levelled the score. We had a chance to pinch a win at the death but it ended up 2-2. Who cares?? The Wednesday fans bounced out of the ground feeling like winners whereas our opponents slunk out, gutted, having been so close to a win! Heavenly stuff.

So, back to the pub and then a bite to eat before a late afternoon bus home. I'd reluctantly agreed to take part in the pub quiz that night as we were short on numbers. I couldn't drive (too much beer) but a team mate picked me up and dropped me home afterwards - I MUST be worth something to merit that kind of treatment!!? As our bus home turned out not to be going all the way to Bradwell but stopped 2 miles short, I ended up going straight to the pub where I was being picked up and from there straight to the quiz. So, all in all, I spent the better part of 14 hours in various hostelries! Not counting the hours watcing the game itself, walking between hostelries and to and from bus stops. A marathon effort. Looking back, I didn't actually drink THAT much - we were sipping quite slowly - so happily I've been fine today.

I was even quite lucid for the quiz. Which was a good thing as oour problem with numbers had led to the captain bringing in a new couple who were a bit older and seemed a little, how shall I put it, straight-laced. I suspect they'll loosen up in time but the reality of a slightly merry football fan bouncing in on a high was probably a bit overwhelming! Anyway, my memory was in good order and the team gelled nicely so we had a good win - we managed to beat one of the better teams in the league for the first time ever!

So, all in all, not a dieting weekend but a cracking one!! For what it's worth, I went to Pump this lunchtime and dancing was very energetic - samba, cha cha, rumba and jive! You never know....

Hmmmm, positive reinforcement required

2011-10-11T19:13:00.004+01:00

Well, it was coming. I've not been doing very well this week as I've mentioned but the scales had been showing a STS. Until this morning that is... Luckily I had the heads up first thing this morning so was not too gutted to see that I've gained 2lbs at my weigh-in this evening. Blegh!

But, hey ho, I knew it was coming. I've already put matters right, just too late for this week's total. So I'm not going to get down on myself about a gain.

I stayed to class but it wasn't the most helpful of classes as it was a "Taster Evening". Several members brought in a selection of food which was either "free" or very low in syns. What a selection too!! Syn-free pakoras, chicken liver pate, rice, pasta and potato salads, desserts. It suited me fine as I didn't really have anything convenient for supper in the fridge and Rich has already eaten 'cos he has a golf committee meeting this evening. Now I don't need to cook!! Thanks clever SW cooks; I'm sorry I didn't join in.

Exercise wise, I've been good today - swimming 50 lengths at lunchtime and food has been good too so I'm confident that I'm really back on track now. Bring on next week!!

Now that I've temporarily hit the skids it occurred to me that I need some incentive to get back to making the sacrifices that dieting entails. I used to talk about the advantages of being slim all the time because they were such a novelty to me. It's not something I've thought about for a while so maybe I should remind myself what it used to be like when I was grossly overweight; both to appreciate the strides I've made and to make sure I don't go back there!

Longtime readers will have seen some of these photos but some newbies might not know what I used to look like. Big eh??

Nowadays I bemoan being a couple of stone over what I'd ideally like to be but I'm still only a size 16 and I'm still in the "normal" range. No-one would look at me and pigeon hole me as a person with a serious weight problem. That in itself is a blessing.

What else?

I can shop in normal shops; buy clothes off the internet; borrow t-shirts or jackets off Rich. I can buy golf gear and replica football shirts that are actually meant for women rather than a mens' Xl or even XXL which would then swamp me in the arms and shoulders. I couldn't find tights to fit. Now, even if it's an emergency and I only have a limited choice, I can usually find something. A social occasion could cause panic as, if I needed a certain outfit, say formalwear or fancy dress, the choice would just NOT be there in size 22 and what was available would cost far more!

Then there's the physical side of things: I am fit and can run, go to a class, swim, walk for miles or play a round of golf without pain. My lower back gives me some jip (golf!) but NOTHING compared to what the pain used to be like! My feet used to hurt nearly all the time and I got tired really easily. My legs would chafe together during the summer. (Chafing pain is the worst!)

I worried about what I looked like when I ate or drank. I had to think ahead all the time: will I fit in the backseat of the car if I get a lift off so and so??; will I get through that stile??; will I be able to haul myself into the boat if I try waterskiiing?; is there a weight limit for that horse-riding class?; will I fit into the airline seat or roller-coaster seat?? It didn't stop me doing things but it did limit my pleasure.

Although my weight does fluctuate over the course of a year, the fluctuation is in the region of a stone or one clothes size. Previously, I could be going up (mostly) 2, 3 or even 4 stone over the course of one year and then dropping a couple of stone through a big diet. I didn't know what size I would be year on year and seldom fitted into the same clothes from one winter or summer to the next. Over the last 3 years, I have been around the same weight give or take a stone and my wardrobe has continued to fit. I'd like to go downwards, but at least I'm not going upwards!

What a coincidence - I was writing this at lunchtime and then bumped into a woman in the kitchen at work who I haven't spoken to for a while. We forged a friendship over our mutual weight issues when I was shrinking rapidly on the LL diet back in 2007. We've discussed it at length several times over the years but she ended up going on to have a gastric band fitted. Since then we chat periodically to see how we're each getting on. She was bigger than me when she started and still is but she has shed some 5 stones and is hovering around the size 18-20 mark. Today we were talking about stability and how, although ideally we'd both like to be a couple of stone lighter, we're a lot happier here than we were and how being "normal-ish" is such a boon.

Kick up the backside!!

2011-10-11T07:32:00.004+01:00

It's what I need! I have been getting complacent and my weight is stagnating around the same level and, after this morning's step on the sclaes looks like it's going to to go up! I can understand why but I need to put a stop to it before my SW efforts are derailed.

Shall I start with the excuses? Yes, why not. It is helpful to understand how you get derailed after all.

I expected not to lose while on holiday and that happened, albeit I did better than expected with a small loss. Then when I returned from holiday I was felled by a nasty cold. Once again, I expected not to lose much that week as I had had to cut back on exercise and felt so grotty. But, I was pleased by the small loss that week too. So why, when I felt so much better, this last week have I not pushed on an really gone for it??

Partly because I've been so busy catching up with my work after holiday and illness. Partly because I wasn't 100% better straight away. Partly because I've been busy socially. And partly because I've been slack and let bad habits creep back in!! And one of the most important factors in the complacency has been the fact that I have not stayed to SW class for the last 2 weeks. I have just nipped in, been weighed, "got away with it" and driven home thinking "well, that's alright then - I can do this without making an effort after all!".

So now I have to put the brakes on and alter my course to make sure that my good work is not lost.

To this end I was adamant that I was going to go for a decent run on Sunday. But even with that determination I didn't get up and go straight away. Rich was golfing so it would have been ideal. Instead I mooched around the house, reading, watching more episodes of The House of Elliot, doing chores and paperwork and generally waiting for an excuse NOT to run to occur to me. By lunchtime though, I realised what was happening and decided to go out immediately. I lived to regret my delay as the morning had been fine and mild but my leaving the house heralded an immediate deterioration in the weather.

First it started to drizzle but I carried on running as it was still mild. Then after 15 minutes the rain became heavier. I could have changed my route then and headed back to the village. "Nah, it'll be alright..." I said and carried on with the longer, hillier, field-based route I'd originally planned. It was at that point (of no return) that the rain REALLY started to come down.

Because I'd been so quick to go out (fearing that my chimp would somehow change my mind!), I had not dug out my running waterproof from the basement. So I was only wearing a t-shirt and leggings. By the time I ran back into the village, I was soaked through and concerned that the t-shirt was exposing more than it covered (it was white!). What could I do? Nothing - so I slopped through the village, cold and knackered; the dogs hanging back sulkily causing me to have to tug on their leads from time to time. And then a lorry swept through the narrowest part of the village far too fast, hit a puddle and drenched me from head to toe (and the dogs). I was by then so wet it didn't make much difference but if I had been reasonably dry I would have been incandescent with rage!!

Actually it was quite funny by that stage....when you hit the point that you can't get any wetter the only option is to laugh! I took some pics to record it and I hope I have learned a lesson - which is NOT to procrastinate and to go for my run as soon as possible if it is fine - seize the day and all that!

So that left the rest of Sunday as a bit of waste. I had a bubbly bath to warm through and waited for Rich to come home from golf. I was miffed that he was so late as by the time he DID get in there was nothing really to be done with the rest of the day. Grrr. Weekends are so precious, I hate wasting days like that. But, I suppose, what could we have done? It was chucking it down. Harrumph. With hindsight, I should have gone out for my run, arranged to meet my pal for lunch or a coffee and then come home and done paperwork in the afternoon and not cared that Rich stayed out. I will remember that feeling and hopefully I won't do it again for a long time!

All ended well though as I was out for the first pub quiz league match of the new season Sunday evening! A trip to Bakewell. We lost narrowly but scored well and won the all-important beer round and the pub and other team were fun. It was nice to be back with my quiz team muckers again after the summer off. Diet-wise, I need to be a bit careful. I used to drive every week so only had one drink if that and resisted the sandwiches and chips. Sunday night, my frustrating day as well as the pleasure of being with my friend again led to me drinking 3 glasses of wine (I wasn't driving!) and tucking into sandwiches and chips. Hmmmmm, this had better stop!

I continued with the good work today by going to Pump class yesterday lunchtime and dancing in the evening. Pump was a major sacrifice as it was chucking it down at lunchtime so just getting to the leisure centre was an achievement! God that class is hard! Dancing is always a pleasure though.

So - hopefully I have stopped the rot despite maybe having to endure a gain (for NO good reason!!) and I'll stay to class this evening to reinforce that. I just want to drop a few more lbs before the Christmas party season, say 5-7!! That can't be too hard surely??

Coasting somewhat

2011-10-08T09:15:00.008+01:00

The beautiful Holy Island. It was a lovely day and we saw LOADS! Above the view of the old lime kilms on the mainland shore. Below the ruins of Lindisfarne Priory. I hadn't realised that it was originally built as a smaller scale version of Durham Cathedral. The effort involved in such a project just boggles the mind.
My little family.
It's "Bamburgh Castle" syndrome again. I had to stop myself taking endless photos of the same thing from slightly different angles! I failed miserably.
There were loads of these sheds built out of halved boat hulls. Even the National Trust used them as coat and bag stores up at the castle. Ingenious.
We toured the Priory with the dogs. They particularly enjoyed chasing the Priory cat! I believe the historical aspects of the building may have passed them by.

I thought this wall looked like an alien face....

Then we dropped the dogs back to the car and walked up to the castle for a tour. Mercifully for you you couldn't take photos. It was interesting but not a "real" castle. It was renovated by Lutyens in the early part of the 20th century for his pal Hudson (some rich geezer who bought it on a whim) so much of the military history has been covered over. Still, the Lutyens rooms were beautiful so just about worth the entry fee!

Once again, I'm trying but failing to publish posts on the day I type them up. This was Friday's offering:

'm writing this longhand to be typed up later while sitting in a very dull meeting. 19 people are sitting round a large table strewn with plans and Gant charts discussing the first draft of a masterplan for a large residential development of @330 units, sorry flats and houses (since when did peoples' homes become "units"?). The development is to be built on the site of former housing acquired and then demolished by the Council (don't ask me why - I don't know how bad they were). It all seems to be a colossal repetition of effort but houses are what we need, according to the Government, so houses it is!

Most of the 19 seem to be fascinated by it all - the architects, engineers, traffic consultants, planners (3 different flavours are needed apparently), developers, Affordable Housing Officer, Secure by Design Officer, etc etc I suppose I should be too. The trouble is, it's not really my thing. There are no legal issues as yet. Snoooooze.

In one sense it's interesting to consider the sheer number of issues to be taken into account and the vast number of potential obstacles to bringing forward even a relatively simple development. When you have politicians bandying about demands for hundreds of thousands of new houses to be magicked out of the ether each year, this sort of meeting brings home the reality of the impossibility of meeting such deadlines.

So, it's been helpful to me in a personal sense as it has provided a couple of hours to write (surrepticiously [hmmm...is that spelt right??]) a list of things to be done at home; to ponder various issues; and to plot strategies. I have been keeping half an ear out for points of interest but, honestly, I do NOT need to be here!

I've been feeling a bit out of control on the homefront. Filing, clutter, jobs, doctor's, vet's and dentist's appointments, chores, repairs, things to be sold, discussions to be had etc etc. So the opportunity for a mind dump has been a boon. Usually I keep on top of the majority of things but, once a year or so, I lose the reins and then it's like a runaway carriage racing away from me. I need to wrestle the horses back under control. Now! That sensation of being a bit out of control tends to cause paralysis in me - so I do even LESS than usual rather than more. Blasted chimp!

Hey - I was just called on to say my little piece. 5 minutes of boring everyone else with only 1 other person really involved. We could have dealt with that issue privately over the phone and saved me the effort of attending....sigh......

Anyways, back to life in general:

I had every intention at the start of this week of hurling myself straight back into dieting and exercise. It has not quite worked out like that. I DID go for a run on Wednesday but then had to cancel training on Thursday due to work and couldn't exercise in the evening as we went to see Reginald D Hunter (which was very good - thinking comedy). I played golf this afternoon so that is not bad but I need to do more strenuous exercise ideally. There's still the weekend and Monday to retrieve the situation though.

Foodwise, however, I've been decidedly, half-hearted. I cooked supper for Rich and his brother on Wednesday and, for some reason, added a pavlova (with real cream) to the menu on a whim. I think my thought processes went along the lines of: "I have these meringue baskets in the cupboard, and strawberries and raspberries are half price at the Co-op and this cream needs using up before it goes off and, well, James and Rich will appreciate a dessert for a change...." As you can see, none of these are valid reasons why I had to partake in the pavlova!! I could just as easily have had the fruit with yoghurt for a SW compliant dessert but no - pavlova it was!!

Then today, a colleague had brought in delicious looking homemade cupcakes for someone's birthday. They were the sort that are more icing (piped chocolate/orange ganache to be exact) than cupcake. I took one. I ate it. I felt sick it was so rich. I now regret it. I could just as easily have turned down the cupcake and had a Thorntons choc as a little treat instead.

As it happened, it was not such a disaster as the rich cupcake caused me to totally forget that I hadn't had lunch and go off to play golf without eating! That is soooo not like me! Forget to eat?!

Golf was great. After such a wretched day on Thursday the weather turned gorgeous. We were playing a lovely (and quite hard) course in Rotherham called Sitwell Park with Rich's brother and half-brother. It was a grudge match between us and them. And we won! I didn't play brilliantly on the front 9 but picked up and played the back 9 very well so I was a happy girl!

Sensible-ish supper last night (we were both starving as we'd both forgotten to eat our lunches) and early night due to being absolutely knackered - all that fresh air and exercise just knocked us out, leaving us both snoring on the sofa by about 9'o'clock!

So, this morning I need to implement the sensible stuff. It's going to be tricky as we're going to the footie at lunchtime. Big game (for us) against chesterfield. because we live out in the Peak, lots of our mates profess to be Chessie fans so it is a big game out here, less so in Sheffield itself. Still, there shold be a decent crowd and I hope a Wednesday victory. I have to negotiate the pub and the lure of beer and chips! Wish me luck!

I am contemplating a run this evening but that, realistically is a 50:50 likelihood. Tomorrow will be easier as I have nothing planned.

Human again!

2011-10-05T17:50:00.003+01:00

I typed this post up yesterday but didn't get round to posting it so it's a little out of date now!! But here goes....

I know I’ve been a bit of a bore whinging on and on about having a cold but I really hate them! I’m usually quite active and get out and about al the time so I hate having to miss things and take it easy. Missing dancing because I felt poorly last night was just sooo annoying.

But that said, it was definitely the right thing to do and I felt better before the night was over. I cooked up a chilli stuffed full of veggies as per SW’s strictures which was JUST what I fancied and then we cuddled up on the sofa with the dogs watching nice things on the telly – Downton Abbey, Never Mind the Buzzcocks.

I had my first decent night’s sleep in a week, no snuffling, no coughing – bliss. And I duly woke up this morning feeling like a different person. It is just sooo nice to be sitting here at my desk (it’s lunchtime) without an aching back, fuzzy, clogged up head and sore throat. I don’t think I appreciate what a boon it is to be a generally healthy person and I should count my blessings on that front more often.

That’s probably wrong, really. I often do count my blessings. Even recently, when we were on holiday on Holy Island, among the hundred of tourists walking into the village from the car park there was a woman struggling slowly along on sticks with badly damaged legs. Rich and I remarked admiringly how strong-willed she must be to still be out and about DOING something despite the pain and discomfort it must be costing her to walk even that short distance. We went on to muse on how lucky we are to be able to stride along beaches and golf courses and take our legs for granted.

So, what I’ve waffled on about for 4 paragraphs seems to be this – I do appreciate my health and I’m glad it’s back!

And just in time as it’s WEIGH-IN tonight! I’ve been stepping on and off the scales all week for some reason and they have not been showing scary readings exactly but there’s not been much downward progress either. There was one wonderful morning when it appeared that I’d lost about 3lbs but I discounted that at the time as a blip caused by dehydration and I was right. I’m hopeful for a STS or small loss this evening and that will be fine given the cold and excesses of Saturday in Hartlepool.

I feel that if I can “get away with it” this week, I can start next week with a resolute mind for a decent drop. I’m actually looking forward to getting my food organised back to better SW meals and to going back to the gym, training, Zumba and my weekend run.

Given that I’ve had 3 weeks now of very little movement though, I’ve had to check that my chimp (Remember her? The sneaky one) is not lulling me into thinking that all is well when in fact I’ve been derailed. But I don’t think so. A small loss after a holiday counts as good and a STS when you’ve been ill is also not too bad. As long as I DO get straight back to it this coming week, I think Chimpetta remains under control.

What else is going on Chez Lesley’n’Rich??

Well, Rich is in his Captain’s Final this evening at the golf club. It’s the annual singles knockout competition in which he has, for the very first time, made it through to the final. He’s very excited and I REALLY hope he wins. Hopefully he’ll still be at the club after his game when I come home from WI so I can join him for a celebratory drink.

His club is much smaller than mine so doesn’t make a fuss about the Knockout comps; they just arrange a time between themselves and go out and play like all the earlier rounds. At our place, all the finals – Mens’, Ladies’, Juniors, Seniors, Pairs, Mixed etc - are all played on one designated day and the Captains and other members walk round with the matches as supporters etc. I’ve never been in a knockout final but I suspect I’d prefer HIS club as playing in front of spectators sounds terrifying!

My brother and his family have moved over to UK from Canada and have rented a lovely house not far from my parent’s. Dad sounds very happy to have seen quite a bit of them. They are, however, disappearing for a few weeks shortly so Rich and I are going over for a visit next weekend. It seems, then, that family life is settling down nicely after all the upheavals. We still have the perennial issue of where we going to be spending Christmas – sigh – is this such a huge issue for everyone else??

Last year was a very quiet Christmas at Mum and Dad’s which felt a little awkward and sad, especially as we’d really rather have spent the whole day quietly together last year. This year, my brother’s family will be there (not my brother who will be on an oilrig in Kurdistan!) and so will my sister’s family and all the boyfriends too – 15 without me and Rich. We are invited but have also been invited to go to his brother’s with his Mum and sister. Decisions, decisions. While it would be nice to be part of a huge throng at the Parentals, if we do that, we’ll be at Rich’s lot next year and then Mum and Dad might need someone. Aaarrgh!

So – life is busy and full and generally very good. I just need to remember about the losing weight thing among all the other competing priorities!!

Update - I lost 0.5lbs at WI last night so I'm moving forward albeit slowly. But then, if I were to drop 0.5lbs a week for a whole year I would be nearly 2 stone lighter!!

Today I've got back to my exercise routine back on track - I went for a run after work! Go me! It was hard work but I really enjoyed it. And just missed the rain.

Lingering and straying

2011-10-03T18:13:00.008+01:00

The sun hid for a spell - how glowering is that view?

You can't get the staff...we asked a chap with a giant expensive camera to take apic of us cos we thought he might do a decent job....not so much.....

But then the sun came out again - yay!

Chasing swallows!! It's the BEST thing ever!! Even better than the beach!!

More chasing of swallows - this time on scratchy stubble but who cares??

Bring back the swallows Mum!!

How are we going to get through here then??

I felt a bit sorry for this long gone Happy Joe.....don't suppose many people "rest awhile" on this seat anymore!

My cold is lingering on and being a pain. Work was really hard today. Everything was such an effort and I felt headachy, shivery and tired out. Why is it so much harder to be sitting in an office than sitting at home? I suppose the getting up, showered, dressed, driving and thinking/talking must take its toll.

I was looking forward to dancing this evening, especially after Strictly started last weekend but, by the time I got home, I didn't feel any better so we reluctantly decided to give it a miss this week. Grrrr. I feel better now, as I sit doing nothing in front of the telly, but I know I would have struggled to think through the steps and flagged physically so I know we made the right decisions.

So that's the lingering accounted for. What about the straying eh?? Eh??

I have definitely strayed further from the path of righteousness than I would have done if I'd been healthy this week. Double Grrrr.

I have not been able to do any strenuous exercise since the cold struck and that is frustrating. I've played golf and been walking but, despite what SW says, I really believe that exercise DOES make a difference to me in terms of weight loss. Maybe because I do exercise pretty damn hard?!

And in terms of food intake, well, apart from the beer etc on Saturday, it's not been BAD. But, I haven't had the energy to be really GOOD either. Today's lunch was probably the worst transgression. I was picking out my snack from Boots' Meal Deal and instead of having my usual yoghurt or fruit I just grabbed a small bar of Galaxy and went and bought it, and ate it. Resolutely. Knowing what I was doing and doing it anyway. And you know what?? It DID make me feel better. I felt so tired and shakey after just a short walk into town, all tense round the shoulders and back and weirdly the chocolate cheered me up.

I'm not usually a woman who turns to chocolate. And I'm not about to start now. I'm not going to regret it but I am going to make sure that this "using" of food for emotional reasons is NOT going to become a habit.

So, I'm cooking a chilli tonigth and no snacking!!

Great weekend but still feel grotty

2011-10-02T21:28:00.007+01:00

More sunny beach pics from Bamburgh beach . I loved the wide open space, the flat sands, the beautiful views of the Farne Islands out to sea. And the dogs loved it all even more!
We watched Bamburgh Castle get closer as we walked. Ever the tempation to take yet another picture of it despite knowing that I would end up with a camera full of it.

There's the Farne Islands....complete with blinking lighthouses.

The amazing flying Minty!
And a smily Shelagh for a change.

We went to Hartlepool on Saturday to see the footie. We went on a coach trip with the pub we drink in before home games. So we met early at that pub for beer and bacon and egg sarnies then straight up the motorway to North Yorkshire enroute to Teeside. In a departure from the standard pub footie trip they had chosen a really nice country pub in a pretty Yorkshire village called Swainby. A gorgeous beer garden with apple trees and a five a side pitch for the boys to run off their excess energy.

So, was I sucessful in my attempt to at least limit the damage?? Partially. I had a sparkling water with breakfast so that's 2 pints saved. I did have beer and a Crabbies at the pub and a cheeseburger and chips for that matter but I had another lot of water when we got back to the pub after the game. And when we got home, I cooked a healthy supper rather than giving in to the lure of pizza or takeaway. So, as I said, partial success.

The game was great. It didn't look good - Hartlepool have been unbeaten all season and we have had very shakey away form apart from the last couple of games. But strangely, I felt quite confident. I thought that Wednesday might have turned the corner and that we might be about to start winning.

So, shall I put you out of your misery?? We only went and WON!! Only 1-nil and we were on the back foot for the whole of the second half but who cares? We got a solid 3 poitns away from home and had a really good time.

I still felt pretty weak at times throughout the day though so wasn't on top form . I wish this cold would just bugger off now - it's lingering on and on very annoyingly.

Anyway, today I felt much better. The ache in my back and shoulders had gone and I wasn't sniffing and sneezing. So I skipped off to golf feeling great. Looking forward to the last hot day of summer. I was playing in a Medal and for once, played really quite well. Not a brilliant score but under par. It was perfect golf - glorious weather, pleasant company, fast golf with no hanging around and waiting for the people in front, good score, played with the same ball the whole way round. Believe me, this is NOT usual!

But then, after the golf, when we'd taken the dogs for a nice walk and cooked roast chicken for supper, the blasted cold came back. So I'm back to snuffling and coughing and sneezing and feeling tired out AGAIN! Grrrr, whinge, moan, grumble......;

Still cold-ridden but carrying on!

2011-09-30T21:21:00.005+01:00

A selection of shots showing the amazing shapes and textures of the beach and rocks....I found them fascinating and beautiful.
The moody lighting and brooding skies...
Look at the light shining on Minty!! And grumpy Shelagh having slurped yet more seawater!

And look at the colours in that sea....aaaah

I had booked a day's leave today ages ago to play golf in the afternoon so I'm really pleased that my day's rest allowed me to have a good night's sleep and feel that I could just about stagger around the course. I would have hated to have to cancel.

The weather was just SO heavenly that I was going to go out even if I was felt like death. As it happened, I felt a lot better than that but still a bit weak and feeble.

We had a great round - couldn't believe that it's October tomorrow!! I didn't play brilliantly but had some great holes and a really good laugh with the lads. We've played as a 4 a couple of times now and it's always fun.

So now I just have to get through tomorrow and I'm in the clear. We're on a coach trip to the Hartlepool away game...leaving at 8am and probably getting home around 10! Help!!

I'm going to be drinking tomorrow but think I'll use the cold as an excuse not to go mad....don't want to undo all my good work and am aware that this cold is preventing me from doing my usual level of exercise. So - let's see if that works - a few fewer pints and maybe say no to the chips - can this be done!!

Day off sick....the good, the bad and the ugly...

2011-09-29T18:49:00.004+01:00

Fun on the sands at Bamburgh Castle. The dogs find a smelly old piece of seaweed.... Minty likes to bark at it, Shelagh has other plans....

Jumping, and more jumping....

She becomes the amazing bouncing cocker spaniel. Not bad for a slightly portly, middle-aged old girl!

Minty can't really get the hang of the jumping as you can see...
But she can't half run...Shelagh doesn't stand a chance!

As I suspected I felt much worse this morning so rang in sick, not something I do often so it felt a bit strange. Rearranging meetings with a fuzzy head and then falling happily back to sleep with the dogs squashing me from either side.

That's the thing with colds; you don't sleep properly but then, once you've caught up on sleep and all the snot has disappeared for the day, you don't feel too bad. You know you would have felt absolutely dreadful had you dragged your sorry carcass to the offcie but, in the comfort of your own home, you don't feel that bad.

So, I had a very pleasant day mooching (slowly) round the house and garden, catching up on chores, reducing the percentage of recorded items in our Sky Plus box and then, around 3 eventually taking the dogs out for a short but very sweet walk in the hills above Hathersage.

It was such a beautiful afternoon - just breathtaking. The late summer sunshine, the mellow, gentle heat, flowers, animals, the dogs having a swim and a run around. I took my camera to slow me down as I didn't want to push myself physically and it was just lovely.

So, not a bad day despite the aches and pains and general weakness. I know the sore throat and snottiness will return tonight but hopefully I've got over the hump and another day off will see me right.

Quick WI Update

2011-09-28T06:57:00.003+01:00

I'm coming down with a horrid cold, felt achy and knackered last night and stiff as a board this morning. Still, the news from the scales is positive - I managed 0.5lb off!

I'm pleased with a small result after a week's holiday that means that whatever I gained in my week off I made up for by being good before I went and getting straight back onto the plan when I returned home.

I hope this cold doesn't linger and allows me to keep up with some exercise even if I have to tone it down a bit.

Still not FEELING a great deal slimmer though which is weird. I suppose that on previous diets I've gone hell for leather and have probably lost a bit quicker (albeit risking early dropout) so the changes have been more noticeable. This time round I'm giving my body and mind chance to adjust together so not getting that body dysmorphia thing. I know that my clothes are looser and look better so I must be smaller overall, I just don't feel greatly thinner round the tum/bum/thighs etc.

It'll come.

First batch of piccies

2011-09-27T09:41:00.007+01:00

My first set of photos from our holidays. These were taken on our dog walks around Seahouses itself. Above is the harbour with views in the background towards the beach and Bamburgh Castle in the distance.

Walking along the headland in the evening sunshine towards the golf course. There was a static caravan site to our left and the front row of caravans had the most gorgeous views out towards the Farne Islands! They must have been pricey though as each one seem to be occupied by the owners of various posh cars - big shiny Audis, Porsches, Mercs....not your normal caravan park fayre!!

The path crossed the gofl course so we had a sneak preview of some of the holes - very daunting - one par 3 shot straight over the sea! And a lovely rainbow to light up our first walk of the holiday.

I always find these shots funny - the leads going out of shot so you wonder what was on the other end of the line!

A bit of fresh water for the dogs. Shelagh in particular is a pain for drinking sea water and then coughing and spluttering as though surprised by the saltiness every time!

Collecting lost golf balls on the beach! Only one was mine....

A perfect circular rock pool. Isnt nature amazing?

And back to the harbour where the various tourist boats were tucked up for the night. A lot of boats do trips out to the Farne Islands during the summer but we didn't have time and were told that most of the bird life had left anyway. Lots of puffins during the summer. The seal pups will be born around now though so it might have been a good trip. You can't fit everything in though.

Holiday and Holiday Fallout

2011-09-26T18:13:00.002+01:00

I've just realised that today's title is a bit misleading; it sounds as though there has been major fallout from our holiday or something. And there hasn't. That's the point!

As you may have gathered from my last post, we spent a week up in Seahouses on the Northumberland coast. We rented a cottage in the village which was spot on (despite the lumpy sofas) and we did LOADS. But we also had a lovely relaxing holiday. It's our first holiday away together so it's nice to know that we're on the same page in terms of what we enjoy doing. You can, I believe, have nasty surprises where one person likes late nights or going out all the time and the other wants to be up early and out and about during the day. As it happened we seemed to work to the same clock and were both happy with a couple of nights out and a few early evening visits to the pub as well as a few nights in (on the lumpy sofa) watching telly or a film. Bliss.

The scenery in that part of the world is spectacular so, I warn you now, you WILL be bombarded with photos. Well, I took over 350 in a week; I have to do SOMETHING with them! Thankfully, we were blessed with some gorgeous, photogenic weather too. A couple of our day trips were accompanied by sparkling sunlight on glistening seascapes, an amateur photographer's Brucie Bonus.

We did one big walk along the beach from Seahouses to Bamburgh and then back over the fields, a medium walk around Warkworth and several shorter beach and clifftop dog walks. We spent 3 days out and about sight-seeing at Holy Island, Warkworth and Alnwick respectively and played golf twice, although one round had to be aborted due to howling gales and lashing rain. That was the only disappointment really, we had been really looking forward to that course (Dunstanburgh Castle) and it was great for 5 holes but the wind and then rain quickly made it impossible to actually play golf so we were forced to give in and walked back to the clubhouse! Of course, after 45 minutes, once we got back to Seahouses, the rain stopped and it turned into a glorious evening.....sigh......

I couldn't pick out a favourite, I've been trying, but think it's a tie between the Bamburgh walk (at the beginning of the week so the scenery made the biggest impact); Holy Island and Lindisfarne Castle; and Warkworth Castle. Now I feel mean to Alnwick which was also lovely and the castle is spectacular.... nope......I genuinely can't pick out a favourite.

As you can see, we were extremely active. Even when we weren't on a big walk or playing golf, the sight-seeing takes it out of you. You spend hours wandering about, climbing up and down stairs and walking round towns and grounds in the endless fresh air. As a consequence, our appetites were pretty massive too. A few cooked breakfasts, hearty sandwich lunches, generous home-cooked suppers. We ate out a few times - 2 of the most gorgeous curries I've ever had and fish and chips (well, it would have been rude not to in a fishing village...). We also seemed to drink a fair bit - several bottle of wine, 2 or 3 pints of bitter on several evenings. No blow-outs or big sessions just a steady stream on a daily basis.

But, despite all that, I DID exercise restraint. It wasn't a free-for-all. I didn't use the fact that we were on holiday to eat anything I fancied just for the sake of it. We didn't do any of the nipping into a cafe for calorific coffees and cake, buying of chunks of "holiday" fudge, desserts, sweets, only a small pack of biscuits. And, amazingly, I have been rewarded for my "restraint" (that word makes me feel like a fraud as I did not exercise restraint, just made one or 2 sensible choices and didn't go mad!). I was, frankly, terrified of stepping onto the scales when we got home. There was NO way I was going to be leaving it until my SW weigh-in tomorrow evenig but I couldn't make myself step on the home scales on Sunday either. I only felt strong enough today before work (I suppose the logic was that I was miserable enough about our holiday being over so I couldn't be made any more miserable by what the scales told me!)

As it was, they told me that I have stayed the same since I last weighed myself before we went away!! This is excellent news. I had dropped a lb or so between the Tuesday WI and leaving for hols so I MIGHT (just might, note) even manage to lose an ounce or so by tomorrow. That might well be thwarted by the Tuesday Scales Syndrome of course but, either way, I know I haven't piled a load on so know I can get straight back to losing ways without the dispiriting retracing of weighty steps. I hate that "I've already lost these lbs, what am I doing having to lose them again?" feeling. (Then again, when you think how many times I must have lost and regained the same weight it is truly frightening!)

So, I'm now back, nose to the grindstone. Happily, my return to work has been one of the most stress-free I can ever remember. No traumas, no emergencies, just hundreds of smooth and, in some cases, helpful emails to plow through. We went dancing this evening which was a nice way to get back into the everyday groove. I have my weigh-in tomorrow evening and am hopeful of a positive or at least neutral result and am overjoyed about that. It has really helped me get straight back into it; food has been stellar today - sushi, fruit and yoghurt and a healthy supper of stir fry. So - as my blog say, Bring It On!!!

Quick hello from Seahouses

2011-09-18T11:23:00.002+01:00

We landed yesterday afternoon and I think it's going to be a great holiday. The village is lovely, the coast and countryside beautiful and the cottage pretty good for a last minute effort. There are a few oddities as with every holiday let - no upstairs loo and lumpy sofa - but it's pretty, well-equipped, and in a great location. We only had a 2 minute stagger back from the gooorgeous Indian restaurant for example and there are 5 pubs within a 10 minute walk!! The curry last night was heavenly a real cut above the norm. Not SW by any means but delicious!!

We went for an evening stroll yesterday along the cliffs and back across the golf course last night. It was STUNNING. A brilliant rainbow stayed over the Farne islands out to sea and we could see the majestic Bamburgh castle in the distance as we walked back into town.

Rich's night was made in the pub though. He had just heard at the bar that Chris Waddle was in the village on a golf weekend and 30 seconds after he told me, I said "Yes, I know....he's right behind you!". We got chatting to him helped by the fact that he happened to be with some members of MY golf club. What a coincidence. He was a lovely bloke, really gracious and friendly, chatted about golf and where they and we are planning on playing and Wednesday's result that day. As Rich's all-time Sheffield Wednesday hero, it really made his night. He was like a kid afterwards...grinning from ear to ear.

So that's all for now. No idea what we're doing today. Walking to Bamburgh maybe... Have a great weekend all.

Letter to Myself

2011-09-16T20:17:00.004+01:00

How weird! I logged onto my computer this morning and, as usual, a list of tasks, meetings and reminders popped up. But one of them jumped out at me. It was headed "Letter to Myself". I had totally forgotten about it. It was, to state the bleeding obvious, a letter I had written to myself a few weeks ago when I was in the first flush of dieting enthusiasm, under the influence of The Zeal! I had, cleverly, though I say so myself, timed it to arrive the morning before my holiday. Here it is:

"Hi Lesley

This is just a quick note before you go on holiday to say - remember that this diet is not the be all and end all but you do WANT to stick to it. Enjoy the week but don't let go. I'm hoping you've lost a few more lbs since I wrote this (5lbs in 2 weeks - 14 stone 11lbs on the scale this morning) but even if you have not, it's never too late to make another start.

I've just had a gorgeous salad for lunch - tortilla with hard boiled eggs and salad and a bit of mayo. It was lovely, filling and has done no damage on the scales. it would not be difficult to have a few of those while on holiday and limit the treats to things you will really appreciate.

And exercise. Hopefully there'll be lots of that and I'm looking forward to those lie-ins but golf, walking and maybe even take your trainers and do some running??

Got it??!

Lesley xx"

Short, sweet and very motivating as it happens. I'm so pleased that I still have The Zeal and had said pretty much all those things to myself on my drive into work anyway. But, if I HAD been wavering, I think this little reminder would have been a great help. Not only to kick me up the backside, but also to remind me how much I was ENJOYING the diet back then, to remind me of the The Zeal.

For your information, I've dropped at least another 6lbs according to the scales this morning, taking me to an overall 11/12lb loss (it's not an exact science due to different scales and weighing times).

I note that I've already put in another letter for October and, although I'm very tempted to see what I have to say to myself, I'm not going to peek. I'm definitely going to write one for November too - maybe a birthday message. The technology is there and I wold recommend it to anyone who suspects they may be faltering 'cos today's little surprise was helpful. (Of course, I don't know how I would have felt if I had just had a huge blowout or fallen spectacularly off the wagon.....I hope that it would have been helpful in re-positioning me. I hope I wouldn't dismiss my message as the deluded ravings of a Pollyanna or feel dispirited by the contrast between my lapse and my former enthusiasm.)

So - one day of work to go, then a load of packing and organising tonight while Rich is out at the S*x Pistols (what is he like?!) then we're off tomorrow for a whole week!! I'm so excited. I'm glad I got over my grim mood from yesterday. Rich was so sweet and loving last night. Even though we haven't had time to talk so he had no idea why, he knew I was upset and tired and I came back from french to find that the house had been hoovered, tidied, the kitchen cleaned, dishwasher emptied and re-loaded, table set, supper cooked, dogs walked and washing in the machine. Heaven.

He went out shortly afterwards and left me to a blissful evening of doing nothing in front of the telly. I had a retro extravaganza of 3 back-to-back episodes of The House of Elliot!! Do you remember that series from the early 1990's?? I loved it then (even went to see an exhibition of the gowns from the series in the Victoria and Albert Museum!) and am pleasantly surprised by how little dated it is on repeat. Also, how little I remember about the actual plot!! I must be a real goldfish brain - I didn't remember that I had written myself a letter only a few weeks ago and I have not the faintest idea what is going to happen on a show I'm sure I watched avidly!

Tonight will be a lot busier though - no lolling round on the sofa for me. Packing and organising and, if I have time, making some soup! Then a late night trip to Buxton to pick up a couple of over-excited overgrown teenagers from a punk gig....43 and 50 respectively and should know better!!

AS an update - I'm really pleased how I've kept to the straight and narrow today. The last day at work before a holiday is alwasy stressful for me but I've managed to make sure I went swimming, work hard and eat a sensible supper. After my food I was casting around for a snack - something biscuit-y. But didn't go made, just remembered that I had a Go-Ahead bar in my golf bag. Not bad at all and satisfied my craving for something sweet and comforting but not fruity. Much as I love it, sometimes fruit will just NOT DO!

Blue (although not anymore...)

2011-09-16T20:11:00.005+01:00

I posted this entry yesterday but have only just spotted that it didn't publish so it's now out-of-date (thankfully). But, having typed it up, I may as well publish and be damned!!

How can that be?? I was happy, content, proud of myself yesterday and now I feel tired, blue and just generally under the weather. Not really physically although feeling grumpy usually adds extra weight to one's shoulders I find. Just out of sorts.

I'm ready for my holiday I suppose. And, as it approaches, feeling more aware of just how ready.

The catalyst was a silly, relatively inconsequential series of events between Rich and I yesterday evening and just before going to sleep. Nothing serious, no-one's fault, not even a row. But the issues weren't sorted out because it was late and we needed to sleep and therefore they must have festered away in my over-active brain, causing me to wake extra early for added festering time. I lay there, feeling achingly conscious that I would be tired all day if I didn't go back to sleep but unable to stop thinking about the problem, getting more and more frustrated and upset and working myself into a bad mood. He eventually woke up and cuddled me back to calmness but still the issues have not been spoken about. There just hasn't been time between getting to work and training for 7am.

And then this evening I have french straight from work and he is going out later. Then tomorrow he is going to Buxton to see the S*x Pistols (not sure if a sucessor band to the real band or a tribute act) and then we're on holiday.

I used to HATE the D approach to dealing with his issues (note - HIS issues, never mine) which comprised a simmering mood of tension which would build up over days, causing me to walk on egg shells for fear of causing it to erupt. Then the inevitable eruption at a moment which I could not predict as a result of a random trigger. Followed by an hour or so of vicious rowing, usually late at night and under the influence of drink (him, not me) almost always when I had work in the morning.

I am thankful that Rich is not like that. He often doesn't notice that there IS an issue but, when there is, is happy to talk. But he also adopts the "least said, soonest mended" avoidance/easy life tack. And he is not willing to talk things through late at night when we're tired or have had a drink. This all makes sense for the most part, but it can be frustrating when you just want to express yourself. I feel as though I can't always do it at the time when I'm most hurt/upset and then, if I want to talk it out, have to raise it at a time when we're happy and potentially spoil that evening as well. It probably wouldn't spoil it, as he does listen to anything I have to say, but I get stressed about raising things and don't always explain myself very well.

Hence the festering and the internal conversations building silly issues into something they are not and the resulting lack of sleep and therefore feeling cr*p. Blegh! Blegh blegh blegh....

It all goes back to my chimp - she is terrified of upsetting what she sees as her male "protector". Having a man around is extremely important to chimps and they will go to great lengths to avoid upsetting, angering and possibly losing them. This attitude is probably what allowed D to manipulate me into being such a doormat over so many years. That is not what is happening now but the vestiges of that behaviour are still there and I still find any differences or discord disproportionately unsettling.

I need to start to apply the management techniques I use on her re food and exercise on relationship (and work) matters as well.

I don't enjoy being an emotionally frail girlfriend and would much prefer being the strong, loving partner that Rich thinks I already am and would definitely much prefer!!

Learning from the Past

2011-09-14T13:44:00.005+01:00

Minty found a discarded beanie baby on a recent walk - she LOVED it, right until she buried it deep in the undergrowth....never to be seen again.

This time last week I was about to go off-piste with PIE! I had failed to appreciate that I was entering a danger zone and walked straight into a few beartraps. I didn't go mad though and I was rewarded with a lovely drop on the scales last night.

However, I am not so complacent as to think that I can continue to have weeks like last week without ramifications. The good loss could have been caused by anything. Perhaps the fact that in some cases I didn't actually eat a lot of anything, albeit that I was largely off-plan. Last Sunday, for example, I had a grilled breakfast and a modest sandwich and that was it all day. It was probably also influenced by time of the month issues.

So, I'm not going to take things for granted by any means.

Hence the "learning from the past" title. Today I have been much more focussed and organised and, so far, have avoided the beartraps. I had a sensible breakfast (bacon and eggs with 1 slice of toast), tea and fruit snacks during the morning and then, on the dot of 12, headed out for a lunchtime run with the dogs. It was lovely. 45 minutes over fields and lanes; not flat but not toooo hilly. I'm pleased with the route as it is about the right length and hilliness and allows the dogs to be off the lead for the bulk of the run.

Lunch was equally sensible - cold meat and egg salad followed by yoghurt - and I'm feeling motivated and chirpy.

It's amazing the difference from last week. I was extremely happy with the 3.5lb drop last night and that sense of satisfaction persisted all evening and into today as well.

I've been thinking about any tips I glean from my SW class which I might be able to pass to Peridot (and other SW'ers). Last night the Leader passed out a list of common mistakes which might cause people to stick or not lose quickly enough where they think they are following the plan. Being brutally honest I do pretty much all of these and I'm still losing fine so I'm lucky. If the rate of loss falls away or I stick at some stage I'll have to address these but at the moment, if I can get away with it, why not? Perhaps the fact that I do lots of exercise helps me??!

Anyway, back to the list of "errors":

Not removing fat from meat
Not measuring your daily allowance of milk and "guessing"
Not eating the exact Healthy Extras but substituting with other nicer (and higher syn) breads and cereals.
Not weighing or measuring synned items and guessing instead.
Not keeping track of the number of syns you're having each week.
Eating too little and not using some syns - "loosen up" she said!
Not checking the syn value of new products. She has warned us that some yoghurts which were free have now changed their recipe and are NOT free. Even the reliable Muller Lights...
Using semi-skimmed or fullfat milk instead of skimmed milk but still having the skimmed allowance.

I can't remember any more but, as you can see, they're not keen on guessing, substituting and not tracking stuff!! As you may also guess, I don't do ANY of this. I guess, substitute, don't look things up and certainly don't write things down. Eeek. I'm quite lucky in that regard but, who knows, perhaps I will have to at some stage.

One tip I have is to focus on what you CAN eat, not what you can't. You can have such delicious meals without any syns and with very little compromises in taste that I don't really miss the things I can't have much of like cheese. I have had to put certain weekday favourite meals away for the time being - fajitas, enchiladas and pizzas being the main losses. But I can still have such a huge selection of good meals that it would be churlish to mourn these. It's not like I'm NEVER going to have these meals again, just a lot less often for the time being.

Ch ch ch ch chaaanges...

2011-09-13T20:31:00.003+01:00

Although I'm very happy with how SW is going, I worry that it is making me a bit of a one trick pony on the blogging front. I try not to be a diet bore in real life but I'm afraid you lot are going to have to pick up the slack!!

I genuinely feel different on this diet to how I have been in the past. I feel calmer about it all, more committed. I'm writing this post BEFORE my weigh-in this Tuesday evening. I am, as I mentioned in my last couple of posts, somewhat concerned about how this week has gone and suspect that I will not be beaming happily at a lovely loss on the scales this evening (although I hope I'm wrong of course). But this concern is not eating me up; I'm not contemplating chucking it all in; and I'm not disheartened or derailed.

I just think - "okay, so this week has been a bit chaotic, you weren't very organised at times, there are things you might have done differently but there are also things you've wouldn't have changed because you had a good time. So carry on with what you're doing and you'll see the benefits in the next few weeks and months."

I would really, hand on heart, be happy with a nice 7-10 lbs by Christmas, a rate of less than a lb a week. In the past this rate of loss would not have been enough for me. I would have either re-doubled my efforts and started getting silly about what I can and can't do or, more likely, the diet would have quietly petered out.

But I don't want to be a diet bore at home. I want to enjoy life, go to the pub with Rich from time to time and sink into a lush pint of bitter like I used to. Not be a whiner when the food choices are tricky as they will be occasionally. Cook nice meals and share the odd bottle of wine.

This all sounds like a "cheaters charter" to me. So I need to make sure that, when I'm NOT enjoying the odd treat as above, I am saying "No" to unnecessary extras and eating sensibly. And to that end I have been quite good this week, even through the chaos. I have turned down LOTS of stuff.

As an aside, Peridot and I agree on this point (and many others) - it is not fair that you don't automatically lose some weight just by saying "No" to something nice. I think that when I turn down a kebab or a couple of pints or chips or sweets or cake or biscuits or cheese (all of which I have done in the past week - GO ME!!!), I should get some form of credit for the item which has been denied. It would be tricky to fit into the SW plan I suppose.....

Update ..... Update..... Update.....

I've just come back from weigh-in and I lost!! This is good news. But, do you want to know what the really great news is??? I LOST 3.5LBS!! That takes me to 10.5lbs in 5 weeks. I'm very chuffed. I had no idea how I'd done as I've not been weighing myself so it was a lovely surprise.

And, for those of you who have had the pleasure of a SW class, I won Slimmer of the Week and walked out with a bag full of fruit and other slimming goodies. Yay!!

Life is not always compatible with Dieting!

2011-09-13T07:49:00.004+01:00

I had high hopes for this week but these have not materialised. I was initially derailed by a silly Wednesday (which I blogged about in an earlier confession); got it back together at the end of last week after a fashion although not sufficiently well to make up for a hectic weekend. So that's where I am, not having given up or gone mad by any means but not having had a dedicated, stellar dieting week in advance of my week's holidays either.

I suppose I still have a good half a week before I go away on holiday anyway so all is not lost. And there is no reason why I can't exercise some restraint on holiday either so this is what I will have to focus on doing.

In terms of exercise, it has been patchy. Training on Thursday and Zumba Friday was good. No time to run on Saturday and only a walk on Sunday not great. I had meetings back-to-back yesterday so couldn't go to Pump at lunchtime but I went to dancing which is some sort of activity. I WILL be back on the straight and narrow with swimming today at lunchtime. I WILL find something to do on Wednesday while working from home, even if it's just marching up Bradwell Edge!!

Drinking has been somewhat excessive. A bit too much to drink on Saturday - 2.5 pints before the game and 2 glasses of wine afterwards. More drink on Sunday - 2 pints of extortionately priced cider at the Kaiser Chiefs gig in Leeds. I thought it was worse, actually, but when written down is not heinous over a week.

Food though has been more chaotic. I just don't seem to have got into the SW swing this week. Too many meals which, while not particularly bad, were not great on the SW counter.

Sunday for example - a big grilled breakfast, sensibly cooked but involving bacon and eggs etc not too bad and it set us up for a nice long dog walk. Then a sandwich snack before we left for Leeds; not wonderful but also not bad either. Then nothing. The food at the gig was ridiculously priced, not great looking and there were huge queues for everything so we just didn't bother. Rich picked up a kebab at midnight on our way through Sheffield but I virtuously declined. Partly because of the calories and partly because I couldn't face greasy rubbish at that time of night. I was starving though from all the jumping up and down and standing on my hinds legs for hours.

The Kaiser Chiefs themselves were great though. A proper showman as a frontman and a good set. Being old and crotchety, I could have done without the hours of support bands at the beginning. Too much standing around. Thankfully it didn't rain and wasn't too cold and the wind hadn't hit as that could have made standing in a field next to Kirkstall Abbey for hours most unappealing!

Saturday was another off-piste sort of day. Nothing for brekkie then hungry and a very difficult choice in the pub so a cheeseburger and no chips. Then a sensible supper. But it was disjointed and unplanned. I should have had breakfast, gone for a run and then grabbed a salad before going out which would have avoided the pub choices. Silly laziness really. I would have enjoyed the salad more.

So - I hope that no real damage has been done; I hope that I might scrape a modest loss or STS. And I will get back on track for the rest of this week so that I can go into our holiday week in a sensible frame of mind. I'm fully intending to have some nice treats but also don't see the point of going mad or anything. We will be cooking in the cottage several nights so that should help. The Fry Light will be coming with us!! And we'll be walking and golfing too so that will help.

Zumba Zumba!!

2011-09-10T09:42:00.001+01:00

Well, the momentous day has arrived. Months, nay years, after the rest of the world has embraced Zumba, I finally make it to a class. I went yesterday lunchtime with 2 women from work who had also, amazingly, not been to a Zumba class before. One, about my age, tall (6 ft odd) model slender in a pale and interesting, wraithlike, manner and somewhat fey. The other, young (20's for God's sake) yummy mummy of 2, dancer's physique, slender, fit, toned...gorgeous to be honest....sigh.... It was not a promising start but I gambled that my sheer energetic enthusiasm would blind them to the likely sweatfest and my general lack of fitness.

As it happened, it was not too bad. The steps weren't toooo difficult to pick up after years of aerobics, step, body pump etc etc. If I couldn't quite get it, I just dropped the arms and wriggled in the approximate direction. I didn't find it exhausting at all. I was very sweaty round the head and neck, but that is my personal curse which I have long made my peace with. I felt as though I was working but not working really hard. It was, what's the word, "moderate" perhaps. I'm not very good with moderate; it's not really my scene. I tend to like to know that I've pushed myself to the limit and be able to feel my muscles screaming.

That said, I enjoyed it and it flew by. It was not painful in the way that Pump class is. I did not want to weep. I liked the music - latin, reggae, afro, salsa, samba etc very joyous. The sound system wasn't up to much though - I could have done with a bit more "ooomff". The teacher was a short, stocky black woman who could really move - I caught her smirking (in a nice way) a few times at our collective efforts to shake our booties - but I didn't feel that she connected much and she didn't foster much spirit in the camp.

On the plus side, I have been reminded of my African youth and I feel a step closer to being able to perform in a gangsta rap video! There was lots of hip rotating, bottom slapping and general wiggling of backsides. I'm told that other classes are totally different - some more complicated, some more rap/hip hop oriented, some more latino. it was also nice to see a really broad range of ages, shapes and sizes taking part.

I will definitely go back and might try to find a different class for contrast too.

But I won't be giving up on my swimming or Pump.

On the Edge....and my Chimp is standing behind me pushing!!

2011-09-08T21:15:00.001+01:00

Oh yes, here I am, teetering on the brink of sabotaging my success. It's as if a switch was flicked once I officially hit the half stone mark which enabled me to forget about the dieting rules which have led me to that success. My chimp is well and truly on a roll with the justificatory excuses and false rationalisations. And I fell for at least part of it!

Take yesterday (Wednesday) the day after my weigh-in: I was working from home so the usual work routines were not in place. Not only that but I was not playing golf in the morning. It was a foul and rainy day and my workload was boring. And I ate more than I should have done and didn't do the exercise I had planned. (This sounds like the confession from the C of E order of service...) It started with toast. I came down in the morning to smell Rich's toast (he usually has breakfast at work so this is out of the ordinary). I immediately thought "I could have toast for breakfast" and did. Without really thinking it through. Of course I CAN have toast for breakfast on the SW plan but you do have to be a bit careful and I have been trying to avoid bread where possible, have it as an occasional treat or emergency measure.

Hey ho, so far, so not-so-bad. Nothing bad through the morning, just teas and coffees and fruit snacks. Lunch was some leftover rice with veggies and a couple of slices of bacon, all fine. And then....PIE!

The curse of leftovers again. Fruit pie from last week which I should have thrown away as Rich has not been interested in finishing it off. I did throw it out, right into my stomach along with a slug of double cream to wash it down. Pure chimp-induced impulse. And I bet I wouldn't have done it if I'd either played golf in the morning or not had the toast. It was as though the chink of daylight let in by the toast and not exercising, allowed her to get her meaty shoulder into the fridge and find something bad.....aaah, what have we here??.....PIE!!

I suppose the good thing is that I didn't then go on to compound the mistake too badly. Despite my chimp being frantic with sugar-fuelled excitement, I resisted biscuits and more toast and cooked a SW compliant supper (of which more later). I actually got so far as taking the lid off the biscuit tin before shoving it away. I was hunting round the kitchen for nameless "somethings". But, I did stop the rot, sort of. I did have one biscuit after supper because Rich brought it through with his dessert. I could have said no ta but I didn't. Oh, and a small glass of wine with my friend Vicky later. Which I'd always planned on.

Exercise wise, I had been intending to go for a run. Somehow the intermittent heavy rain showers put me off that idea. That and the boring day and off-piste eating. In the end I went for an intentionally brisk 45 minute dog walk and that is IT.

Not great but better than I thought it was going to be. So - it wasn't a great day but it wasn't a terrible one. And as long as I learn from it how to do better next time and don't let it carry on into the rest of this week, it's unlikely that much harm will have been done.

To that end, what have I learned?

Working from home is potentially dangerous. It has hitherto been fine when I have been up and onto the golf course but, with the advent of autumn and winter soon to follow, this will not always be possible. I think I should sort out some exercise early in the day rather than heading straight from bed to desk. This would wake me up (a bit like the morning commute) and set me on the right track. It would also minimise the chimp's "persuasion" time. Failing that, I need to research some sort of class to commit to on a Wedneday. I have just sent a text to my personal trainer to see if he can suggest something. I seem to recall that he used to do a pilates class on a Wednesday, maybe he still does...

It's all about planning for me. Our SW leader has a wealth of sayings and this one has hit home for me: "You don't plan to fail, but you can fail to plan". If I fail to plan, I often fall flat on my face.

Re food in the fridge, I do NOT need to save everything. I was raised by parents who were brought up during the Second World War and hence remember rationing vividly. Everything was saved and put in the fridge to be recycled later. Now, I'm all for leftovers but only where they're going to be sensibly incorporated into a tasty and healthy meal. NOT where they sit in the fridge causing needless temptation and end up being "finished off" as a pointless extra. I need to lose the WWII mindset and only save what I need. If Rich is not going to eat the pie, then chuck it out. It was only one (generous) slice out of a large pie, not wholesale wastage.

So, although it wasn't a great day, I hope that I have gleaned something useful from it. I was at training first thing this morning and back on the straight and narrow with a healthy breakfast and fruit snacks in the morning.

One thing I did notice this morning though was how active my chimp was. She tried to talk me into having a McDonalds cappucino on my drive in - "it's only 120 calories, you haven't had one in ages, it'd only be this morning, you REALLY want one today, more than usual....". I recognised the wheedling for what it was and drove past. Then in the office, I was STARVING....ravenous for snacks. Repeatedly peering at the snack table where there is STILL chocolate fudge cake (must be a bit dry by now!). I resisted and sent a text to Rich saying how hungry I was which seemed to take the sting out of it. I intended to a jacket spud and beans for lunch to assuage the hunger as I knew I was going to french after work so would be eating late but was thwarted 'cos the cafe "did not have beans"! How is this possible? Ended up having a salad and bag of popcorn from Boots (only 80 cals but very salty).

And it worked....but I was definitely on the edge. If I hadn't had the tools which Steve Peters taught us as part of that long ago TV show, I think I would be tumbling by now!!