tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2833371807591724259.post4656292475330608407..comments2023-09-24T10:39:38.644+01:00Comments on Live to Slim - Bring It On: Day 235 - Route to Management starts here....but...Lesleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08197039686417212109noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2833371807591724259.post-68647568893330962272007-09-05T10:46:00.000+01:002007-09-05T10:46:00.000+01:00Hmmm, as you know, I suspect D and my b/f are frig...Hmmm, as you know, I suspect D and my b/f are frighteningly similar. My take on this is that he's feeling threatened and is lashing out - he is in a pattern where if he feels threatened or upset he has always in the past got it out of his system by being unpleasant about your weight (maybe not as a conscious attack but there's no excuse - we all know our partners' achilles heel, the decent thing is not to strike there). This is the same thing as in your past - it's just he can't make his usual comments because you're clearly not the same woman, you've lost the weight he used to pick on. Learning new patterns of behaviour is tough (as we all should know!) and when your back is against the wall you can easily revert to type. He has to recognise what he does and make a real concerted effort NOT to take things out on you when he's unhappy/threatened. I'm sure there is also an underlying uneasiness about your increased desirability and attractiveness which makes him lash out in the way that has made him successful in upsetting you in the past and make you more vulnerable and needy which is a more secure place for him to be. Of course this may all be utter b*llocks! Thinking of you, honey. You know where I am if you need me.<BR/><BR/>love<BR/>Peridot xPeridothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16325992771558910173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2833371807591724259.post-86888555489768013642007-09-05T02:29:00.000+01:002007-09-05T02:29:00.000+01:00All I can offer is a big, virtual hug from across ...All I can offer is a big, virtual hug from across the pond!<BR/><BR/>There could be so many reasons why your husband is having such a hard time right now. Your transformation could have been so quick that your husband hasn't yet adjusted to it, or maybe he's simply not used to you taking time for yourself.<BR/><BR/>Honestly, I really don't know. I'm sure things will work out. Just a rough patch, which tends to happen occasionally with the people we love the most. Hang in there.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16540050985010787833noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2833371807591724259.post-63432456907226953342007-09-04T20:56:00.000+01:002007-09-04T20:56:00.000+01:00Yikes, I'm not sure what to say except that you ab...Yikes, I'm not sure what to say except that you absolutely should stand up for yourself, and I think it is big of you to admit some fault in the situation as well.<BR/><BR/>Hang in there!ThickChickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01933349763585424365noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2833371807591724259.post-85932644218525910492007-09-04T17:49:00.000+01:002007-09-04T17:49:00.000+01:00I was going to say something similar to Mrs L.Firs...I was going to say something similar to Mrs L.<BR/><BR/>Firstly - he's a bloke and they don't communicate well at the best of times.<BR/>Secondly - is he feeling quite insecure about you changing and him not being able to keep up? Does he worry that you might not need him anymore?<BR/>Thirdly - have you underestimated the ways in which you've changed? The relationship you had before was affected by the way you were and now you are different.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for sharing this Lesley because I do feel that you are a friend and I'd like to think we can help in some way.<BR/><BR/>Sandra<BR/>www.livejournal.com/users/kiwirevoSandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03503939114440277312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2833371807591724259.post-11460739162336877922007-09-04T15:58:00.000+01:002007-09-04T15:58:00.000+01:00I hope your feeling OK and your talk with D goes b...I hope your feeling OK and your talk with D goes better. <BR/><BR/>I'm hopeless at giving advice or stuff like that, Mrs L does it so much better.<BR/><BR/>But just wanted to let you know I'll be thinking of you.<BR/><BR/>(((((Big Hugs)))))<BR/><BR/>Amanda xAmandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08468911746130254482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2833371807591724259.post-1923408038671790942007-09-04T15:35:00.000+01:002007-09-04T15:35:00.000+01:00Just read your latest post and wanted to leave a c...Just read your latest post and wanted to leave a comment for you -hope you don't mind. <BR/>I am not the world greatest expert on relationships but it seems that there might be some projection going on like the Mrs said and you just happened to be conveniently placed in order to bear the full brunt of it.<BR/><BR/>Your acheivement so far is nothing to be sniffed out, it's bloody amazing, you've come such a long way (sorry if that sounds patronising - I sincerely don't mean it to be). I hope your talk with him goes well and you are in my thoughts.<BR/><BR/>sending good thoughts and cyber hugs.<BR/>Samaire<BR/>xxxSuch A Pretty Face...https://www.blogger.com/profile/07185344638798952065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2833371807591724259.post-47910696882200357262007-09-04T13:11:00.000+01:002007-09-04T13:11:00.000+01:00Oh lovely LesleyJust taking five mins out so must ...Oh lovely Lesley<BR/><BR/>Just taking five mins out so must keep this short and sweet. Sorry. There is A LOT going on here, for both of you. You have changed and being assertive not passive aggressive (like me!) is a new way of being in your relationship. For both of you. It takes time to get used to the new shifts in the relationship.<BR/><BR/>But I wonder if D is projecting his own anxieties to you (remember I'm ok, you're ok?). There's nothing like an impending interview to make a man super grumpy (in my experience). And remember the 3 roles - including persecutor?<BR/><BR/>The blog is your space, your thing; you are amongst friends here so don't worry about that. You can remove post if you change your mind!<BR/><BR/>You will get through this; please don't start RtM with a mental setback. Sort it out before you begin properly. And please acknowledge the rollercoaster that is LighterLife; it's mentally and physically exhausting, even if that's at a sub-conscious level.<BR/><BR/>If you look back at what you have achieved this year, it's amazing. And you've also achieved things together (the cottage/the garden).<BR/><BR/>You will resolve this; take a deep breath.<BR/><BR/>Big big hugs - wrapped right round you.<BR/><BR/>Mrs LxxxxxMrshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16370098608400834742noreply@blogger.com